²⁹ 𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱⁶¹

Ilya knows exactly what he’s doing

shane who sat under his dads desk and helped him out with ‘important documents’. his dad ‘needed all these papers folded in perfect halves’, and five year old shane was not gonna disappoint him. he was gonna win at folding papers in half.

(in reality these were just last years invoices that ought to be shredded but shane needn’t know that)

by lunch time he had folded nearly 100 important documents in half and susan the receptionist told him he’s the best paper folder she’s ever met! dad ruffled his hair with pride.

Sleepy Ilya

and then he starts to notice some things. notice a lack of some things, really. he hasn't heard shane laugh in a long time. his husband's always been a little quiet, doesn't love going out too often, and for a while, ilya assumed it was just that. he knows shane's always needed a bit more time to adjust to things. the season's just started.

but shane gets quieter. he smiles and nods and laughs politely at jokes when they go out as a team, but it's not his real laugh. it's not the sound ilya's grown to love. his smiles don't reach his eyes. there's something about the way he holds his body that feels distant.

ilya's kicking himself for missing it. something's wrong. he doesn't know what, though. because shane goes for his morning runs at 6am, goes to practice, plays just as well as he always has. he's the same beast on the ice he's always been. he makes conversation with the team and helps the rookies out and even comes out, sometimes, with the team after a win. nothing is different. but everything is different. shane is different. because ilya knows his husband, he knows something is off. he's determined to figure out what.

he's not supposed to find out, the day he does. he and shane drove separately that day because he had a dentist appointment before practice in the morning. on the way home he realizes he forgot his wallet, and heads back. shane had decided to stay a bit late. maybe ilya can catch a little of him practicing. he loves watching shane practice by himself. he's been doing it a lot more lately.

the locker room is empty. ilya grabs his wallet, and turns to head out to the rink, when he hears what sounds dangerously close to a sob. a sob ilya knows. one he's heard before. his heart is pounding as he peers around the corner, into the shower area, where his husband is out of his gear and back in his street clothes, face red, cheeks wet. sobbing.