I know we love to think Shane Hollander conjures all that sex stuff he wants to do just out of his beautiful mind and pure love of the game but we have to remember that this man has the internet. I mean he didn’t just create his dildo out of sugar and spice and the thoughts of Ilya’s dick in his butt, he went on the internet and purchased one. He has watched porn for sure, and dare I say as early as a couple of days after 1410. What we should be thinking about instead is the ridiculous over the top safety measures he took to make sure no one ever finds out. Never opened his laptop without the bedroom door locked, window blinds down. Private browser tab, then delete search history three times just for good measure. After he’s done you bet he’s locking up that thing in a safe JUST IN CASE someone who can retrieve browser history breaks into his apartament.
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one of their earliest hookups and ilya comes in like a minute and he's like fuck fuck fuck fuck my reputation as big bad russian stallion is ruined forever this is so bad hollander is never going to hook up with me again meanwhile shane is floating somewhere in space and he thinks it's the hottest thing in the world that he managed to make rozanov come in barely a minute
Cliff Marleau winds up at the same bar that the Metros are partying in after a win against Boston. Ilya's out, definitely with his Montreal girl, so Cliff's flying solo tonight. The rest of the team didn't really feel like going out after the loss.
He's at the bar when he winds up in a convo with Hayden Pike of all people but he winds up actually liking the guy. Somehow they end up in a conversation about Shane, and Hayden, probably due to the alcohol, mentions Shane rarely ever parties but never after a game against Boston. Especially when they're in Boston.
Cliff asks what he means and Hayden, with his loose-ass lips, spills to Cliff Shane's got this Boston chick he sees. Some girl named Lily that he pretends doesn't exist half the time. Kinda freaks out about it too.
Cliff chuckles. "That's kinda funny. Ilya's the same way about this Montreal chick he sees. Always ditches us for the mysterious Jane."
They share a laugh over the weird coincidence but the laughter halts when their minds catch that's it's too much of a coincidence.
Boston Lily
Montreal Jane
They look at each other as they make the same realization.
"There's no way," Hayden says.
"I--" Cliff starts but doesn't finish. He doesn't know what to say.
Holy fucking shit Roz, is his thought, how the hell did you pull Hollander?
ilya and shane are sitting side by side in the booth, being ridiculously affectionate like they always are, putting their foreheads together, rubbing noses, gently rubbing their faces against each other, giving each other a million little pecks all over. ilya’s arm draped across shane’s shoulders while he whispers sweet nothings in his ear and shane just giggles and looks back at him with the biggest heart eyes and ilya says smiling “i love you so much” and shane starts to say “i love—“ but gets cut off by someone clearing their throat and both of them look forward to find their friends sitting right in front of them and troy just groans “you guys are so annoying” and dykstra goes “i don’t know how they make me, a married guy, feel single” and wyatt says “i think they’re cute” and troy rolls his eyes and goes “of course you do” and then troy says looking between ilya and shane “you guys cannot refrain of touch each other for half an hour so you can hang with your friends?” and ilya just grins and goes “sorry guys, it’s just sometimes when two grown people love each other very much—“ and they all groan again and troy snarks “fuck off” and ilya, already having way too much fun keeps going “it’s just that when i’m with shane sometimes people around us just disappear and i can only see him” and he leans in to kiss shane’s face while shane goes red at the confession but doesn’t stop smiling at his husband and their friends just sigh loudly rolling their eyes and troy says “they’re unbearable” and dykstra goes “i bet if we leave those two right now they won’t even notice” and troy nods and they both get up and leave the booth and wyatt stays and shane and ilya stop for a second to look at him and wyatt goes “i think you guys are cute and if bood had come he would agree with me” and ilya goes “thank you hazy” and winks at him before going right back to kissing his husband, who is redder than a tomato but not putting a stop to anything ilya is doing and they’re just left alone in the diner, completely in their own world
okay but for sure baby shane on his first hockey team got to play on the ice during an intermission at a centaurs game in the 90s. he scored a goal and did a cute little celebration jump (and immediately lost his balance and fell on his butt). harris pulls the clip from somewhere deep in the centaurs archive. he makes an insta post after shane's first game with the cens and includes the video with a caption about tonight being shane hollander's second ever centaurs goal.
ilya just barely manages to keep himself from sobbing in delight at the video.
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Thank you so much for the ask. Sorry for taking so long to answer i've been busy
Alright, this is from my wip Hometown rivalry in which Shane and Ilya make a YouTube series promoting the Irina Foundation and showing the friendly side of the rivalry
“I am not a centaurs fan and even if I was I wouldn’t be your fan, Rozanov." Shane performatively denies
The video then shows photos of shane wearing a various ottawa jerseys spanning the time he was a baby up to last game he attended as a fan before the draft popping up on the screen one at a time culminating in present day shane suddenly wearing a centaurs jersey as if by magic not just any centaurs jersey a rozanov jersey that shane puts on a show of being outraged by. Shane then takes the jersey off Still wearing a t-shirt underneath to many viewers chagrin and throws the balled up jersey at ilya before putting his own metros jersey back on.
“Okay, maybe I was a centaurs fan growing up, and I can admit that I like the idea of the team actually winning games, not against the metros, of course.
Once saw a video of a dude introducing his husband as “my gay and homosexual husband who is gay and homosexual and also gay”. And yeah, that’s Ilya and his “super gay” Shane.
ok so Shane and Ilya wrestling that ends with Shane on top ehich means (Unspoken Hollonov Sex Code) that Ilya has to struggle to flip them as Shane rides him. But Shane's got a good grip around his body and is distracting him with Hole. "Don't be a sore loser Rozanov." he says, even as Ilya bucks and twists. Sometimes Ilya does manage this and then they FightFuck but this time Shane is going nowhere. it's one of their favorite dirty games
obsessed with the concept of ilya listening to chappell. not like religiously or anything but he'll shake his ass to pink pony any day thank you very much. at some point he's driving, radio playing idly, not listening to anything in particular, when the subway comes on.
and he's not really listening until suddenly he very much is.
and he's married now very happily and all that yearning is a thing if the past and he wakes up and falls asleep next to his husband he loves with his whole fucking heart. but he hears 'made you the villain, evil for just moving on... if in four months this feeling aint gone, well fuck this feeling I'm moving to Saskatchewan' n 'she got away' n for a brief moment it blasts him back into a state of such pining he almost swerves off the road.
(it is also very important to note shane gets a very tearful phone call from the side of the road that is mostly comprised of ilya telling him he loves him so so so much and he would never let him get away he just loves him so so so-)
(also important to note he left the house five minutes before. he saw shane approximately five minutes ago. he also drives immediately home.)
Ilya left the cottage a week ago feeling the happiest he had ever felt. He had bagged the hottest player in the NHL, Shane Hollander. And Shane loved him back. And they were boyfriends. And they were going to make it work, despite all of the seemingly impossible setbacks.
But after a month of being officially Long Distance Boyfriends, Ilya wasn’t feeling so happy or confident anymore.
***
The doubt started a few days after Shane drove Ilya to the airport. After Ilya landed, he texted Shane that he had made it home safe. Shane had replied with a perfunctory “Good!” Afterwards, he added a red heart emoji.
The next day, Ilya reached out and told Shane he missed him already. Shane didn’t reply for over five hours, and when he did, it was a simple, “Miss you too.”
Monday, Ilya texted again. “How was your day? ❤️.” Shane, again, didn’t reply right away. Ilya thought maybe he was in bed? But it was only 8pm.
Finally, around ten his phone lights up. “Fine. Had practice.”
This is what makes Ilya pause. Why is Shane not wanting to talk with him?
Yes, they never texted much before, but that was because they were just having sex. Their texts essentially were foreplay and logistics for meeting up and nothing much else. But now that they were together, Ilya assumed they would talk almost every day? Especially since they won’t see each other for three more weeks, when the Bears and Voyagers meet for the first time this season.
Shane seemed to have other ideas. All week he sends off only short replies to Ilya. He rarely asks questions, only answers Ilya’s. Ilya’s only reassurance is that when he tells him he misses him or loves him, Shane always replies with a similar sentiment, or at least a heart emoji.
Two weeks into the season, Ilya is feeling a bit desperate. And missing Shane. He knows it’s ridiculous. They usually go months, if not a year, between interactions. So why is he feeling so Shane deprived?
Probably because before, Ilya (and Shane, presumably,) were both repressing their feelings for each other and not wanting to get any closer or share anything personal.
But now? Now, Ilya wants to hear everything about Shane’s day. He wants to know how his practice went. He wants to know what Shane thinks about MacJohn’s pay raise and if Shane thinks the Buffalo team is a playoff contender now that they have a new coach.
He also wants to know what Shane’s favourite pie flavour is. The Canadian Thanksgiving holiday was coming up soon, and Ilya wanted to get it from this new bakery he’s been going to. Ilya learned about Thanksgiving through an extensive Google search on Canadian customs, because these were things he would need to know if he moved to Ottawa next season.
Mostly, Ilya was just longing to hear Shane’s voice. And make sure that they were still on the same page—still wanting to be together.
So Ilya picks up the phone and presses Shane’s (Jane’s) contact name, and then the call button. He lies down on the couch in his living room, staring up at the ceiling as the phone rings.
“Hey, Ilya, what’s up?” Shane asks. He sounds a bit out of breath, but not like he’s on a run. “Is everything okay?”
Ilya’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Yes? Everything is ok?”
“Oh!” Shane says, tone more steady and less nervous than before. “I thought maybe something happened with your brother or something.”
“Um, no. I am good,” Ilya says.
“Good!”
There’s a bit of silence for a moment, before Shane continues, “Look, now isn’t a good time. I’m assuming you’re calling for…” Shane trails off, sounding embarrassed. “For video sex. I’m in the middle of a bike session in my gym but I’ll call you tonight around 9:15 if that works?”
Ilya is immediately hurt by the assumption that he was only calling for sex. Yes, he would like to have video sex later, but that’s not why he was calling now. He really just wanted to see if Shane would pick up. And if it would be the same as it used to be between them, at the cottage. He’s not feeling any more sure after this phone call.
If anything, he feels worse.
“Okay,” Ilya gets out. “9:15 then.”
“Talk soon!” Shane says before hanging up.
***
A week before Ilya flies to Canada for the first Boston versus Montreal game, Ilya is hungry for Shane’s attention. Shane hasn’t been any better with replying to texts, and they also have been missing each other’s sex calls a lot lately. Shane is often too busy or too tired after practice. And Ilya understands. But he’s feeling lonelier than he ever did before spending three magical weeks with Shane at his cottage.
Probably because he’s never had what he has with Shane with anyone else: a lover who he wants to have sex with multiple times a day in different positions and at different paces. But also someone who felt like … a best friend. Someone who laughs at every one of his jokes, like Shane does, even when he thinks they’re dumb.
Now that him and Shane are so far apart, he is yearning for that feeling again.
One night, he’s desperate and trying to find new ways to engage with Shane. He decides to take the most egregiously sexy nude photo and send it to him. That should spark some action. They hadn’t Skyped in almost a week.
He sets himself up in front of the full body mirror in his front hall, with excellent lighting from golden hour outside. It doesn’t take long to get the shot; Ilya is a pro at nude photos.
But Ilya has never been allowed to send one to Shane before. He was terrified of anyone seeing it on Shane’s phone and outing their secret hookups.
But now Ilya has lost his will to care. He’ll do anything to get Shane to engage with him.
He sends the photo.
And Shane never replies.
***
Ilya steps off the tarmac in Montreal three days later, feeling absolutely sick to his stomach.
He’s heading straight to Shane’s apartment in Broussard, meeting him for a rare afternoon together before they play each other tomorrow afternoon.
He was debating cancelling, telling Shane he couldn’t get away from his team. He was so nervous about seeing him again that fear almost won out. But it didn’t. Ultimately, Ilya would do anything to see his (maybe?) boyfriend again.
They texted a bit this week to arrange details, but nothing else. Shane reminded Ilya of the door code. Ilya asked what clothes he needed to pack for the October weather in Canada. Shane reminded Ilya of the door code again, and reiterated the importance of making sure he’s not spotted entering the building.
Now Ilya was shitting his pants, terrified he was about to be broken up with.
He tells his team he’s visiting a friend in the city who he played Juniors with, and takes a cab to Shane’s place. Shane is going to meet him there in an hour, after his practice wraps up.
Ilya makes it into the apartment unspotted, drops his things onto the living room couch and snoops around. He is looking to find anything out of the ordinary; anything that could explain Shane’s reticence these past few weeks. But he comes up empty handed.
***
“Ilya?” he hears Shane call later on. Ilya’s been watching YouTube on his phone, waiting for Shane’s arrival.
“Hi,” Ilya says, getting up from the couch and greeting Shane at the door.
He’s really unsure about the approach here—should he hug Shane? Kiss him? Give him a firm handshake?
But Shane takes the decision away from him, as he runs up to Ilya and wraps his arms around him tightly.
“I missed you so much,” Shane says reverently, right into the skin on Ilya’s neck.
Ilya is in too much shock to form words at first, but he wraps his arms around Shane immediately, because of course he does.
“I missed you too,” Ilya states simply.
Shane pulls away slowly, taking in Ilya’s expression as they separate. “You alright?”
Ilya nods, but is having a hard time schooling his face into a reassuring smile.
Shane grabs Ilya’s hand and drags him to the couch. He sits down right next to him, their hips and thighs touching, and rests a hand on top of one of Ilya’s.
“What’s up?” Shane asks, all his attention on Ilya. Shane’s face is full of love and concern, and all it does is confuse him more.
“I—“ Ilya hesitates, not sure if he should bring this conversation up before they’ve even kissed. “I thought … maybe … you might want to break up.”
Shane’s entire face scrunches with confusion, his freckles bunching up under his eyes in the way that Ilya loves. He wants to run his thumb over the spots, but holds himself back.
“What?” Shane questions. His eyes are doing the thing only Shane’s eyes know how to do. They turn soft, and tears pool on his bottom lash line, but don’t spill over. Ilya cannot stand when Shane’s face gets like this. He literally feels his heart cracking right down the middle. “Why would I want to break up?”
Ilya shrugs, feigning nonchalance. “I’ve been texting. And calling. And trying to get your attention. But you never seem to reply. We haven’t talked in a week?”
Shane’s face scrunched up even more, which Ilya didn’t know was possible. “That’s not true. We texted this week.”
“Yes, about meeting. Not about how your day was going or to say I love you or to chat about hockey.”
Shane’s face relaxes a little, but he still looks like he isn’t fully understanding. “Oh.”
Shane sits for a moment, directing his eyes to the floor. But his hand is still on Ilya’s, and he’s stroking his skin with his thumb. Ilya takes this as a good sign.
“We never really texted much before. So I didn’t know…” Shane confesses before trailing off. “I don’t know how much boyfriends usually talk.”
“Well,” Ilya starts. “I don’t either, really? What did you do with Rose?”
Shane scowls at that, just like Ilya knew he would. He knows that Shane hates when he brings Rose up.
“We didn’t text much. Because she was in a different time zone filming. And also, because she wasn’t my girlfriend.”
Ilya laughs at Shane’s bratty tone, as he always does, and Shane frowns.
“I didn’t realize you were trying to talk more. I’m sorry.” Shane looks genuinely apologetic, so Ilya accepts easily. His boyfriend can be very dense at times.
“Is okay,” Ilya says genuinely, before pulling Shane to sit in his lap. He is just relieved they are okay.
Shane doesn’t look so sure and still has this guilty look in his eyes. Ilya isn’t having that. They only have eighteen precious hours together; Ilya wants to make the most of it. He kisses Shane firmly, and they loose themselves in it for a while. Then Shane pulls back, albeit reluctantly.
“How often should I text you? I usually leave my phone at the house during practice and I don’t look at it when I’m doing yoga. I’m not really a good texter. But I will do better at replying, I promise. We can call every morning and—” Ilya cuts Shane’s rambles off at that point, pressing their lips together again.
“Ilya—” Shane tries to push him away, but Ilya chases after his kiss. Shane doesn’t let their lips connect.
Ilya sighs in discontent. “We don’t need to put a number on it. I just wanted to hear about how your practices went and what you thought about MacJohn’s raise—”
This time Shane cuts him off, immediately angry. “It’s absolutely bullshit! That guy has the least amount of assists on his team and is constantly getting unnecessary penalties. He should not have gotten a cent more!”
And then Ilya has to kiss him all over again, because he loves when Shane gets worked up about hockey. He’s always right too, because he knows every single players’ stats.
This time they kiss for a while, alternating between firm kisses and adoring pecks. When Shane needs a breather, he pulls away and rests his head on Ilya’s shoulder, facing away.
“How about Tuesday and Thursday evening catch up calls after games? And I promise to get better at answering your messages.”
“Deal,” Ilya says, placing a kiss on Shane’s dark hair.
“I did want to know how your day was too. I thought about you all the time, wondering what you were up to,” Shane says smally.
“Why did you not ask?”
Shane squirms in Ilya’s lap. “I don’t know. We just never used to talk about stuff like that. So I didn’t know what the ettiequte was.”
Ilya nods in understanding.
“I also was kind of in hockey mode.” Shane pulls his face off Ilya shoulder so he can look at him. “Can’t exactly win hockey games if you’re constantly texting your boyfriend and missing him.”
Ilya softens at that, and now his eyes are starting to get Shane’s signature glossy look.
“Are we okay? I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
Ilya smiles, and he feels like his face is boarding on dopey. “Yes, Hollander. We are good.”
***
After their very adoring make up sex, they’re lying in Shane’s king bed, sheets and pillows thrown everywhere.
Shane is lying on his stomach, spent. Ilya is lying on his side beside him and drawing shapes on Shane’s back with one finger.
“So, you did not like my photo?”
Shane blushes entirely red at that. The colour creeps down his neck.
“I loved it. I jerked off three times that night thinking about it,” Shane says, embarrassed, still pink in the cheeks.
Ilya is thrilled to hear that. “Is that why you did not reply? Too busy with your dick in your hand?”
Shane smacks him playfully in the stomach for the retort. “No. I deleted it immediately. We can’t have anything like that getting out there!”
“So you got off just thinking about this photo you could not even see?”
“Shut up, Rozanov,” Shane buries his face into the pillow to hide his discomfort.
“Call me next time, yes? Video call.” Ilya warns, teasingly.
“Yes, yes, okay,” Shane placates, obviously wanting this conversation to be over.
Ilya leans down to press a sweet kiss to Shane’s lips. “Are you hungry?”
Shane nods. Ilya gets up immediately, pulling Shane with him.
“What are we going to eat?”
“I have four pies in my suitcase,” Ilya informs Shane.
“What?! Why?” Shane asks, as Ilya unzips the bag.
“It is Thanksgiving tomorrow, yes? I did not know what you liked, so I got all of them. Well, pumpkin, apple, rhubarb and this chocolate peanut butter one that I do not think is normal for holiday. But it looked yummy,” Ilya stops, bashful look on his face.
Shane looks stunned. “Is too much?” Ilya asks, embarrassed. “I was going to ask your favourite but you did not reply to texts.”
Shane groans. “I’m sorry!” He looks genuinely distraught with guilt all over again, and Ilya has to laugh.
“Is okay Hollander. More pie for us.”
Ilya has one slice of each, for research purposes. Shane eats one bite of each, because it is the middle of the season. But he has an extra bite of the peanut butter chocolate one, which Ilya makes note of for later.
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The problem I keep having is the more I go back to the text more I keep wondering what the hell else Shane was supposed to do. Like seriously, genuinely - what was he supposed to do differently that didn't involve either reading Ilya's mind or waving a magic wand to erase racism and homophobia?
Ilya wanted a Canadian passport and his contract was up, so Shane devised a plan that got him to Canada, to a team that would pay him his worth, and came up with a pretext for them to spend more time together and start to dial down the rivalry narrative.
Shane mentions how much he hates hiding and asks if Ilya is ready to spend another year hiding, and Ilya deflects.
Shane asks how Ilya is feeling, noticed he's struggling, and Ilya deflects.
Shane thinks about all of Ilya's trauma and gently suggests therapy, and Ilya shoots him down.
Shane doesn't leave Ilya to rot in Ottawa while he lives his life carefree - he's locked into a contract for three years longer than Ilya is (so Montreal probably offered him an 8-year contract while Ilya took a 5 year deal from Boston, both very normal choices) so it makes more sense for Ilya to be the one to move so they can be closer, and also, ILYA WANTS A CANADIAN PASSPORT. If Ilya had wanted to go for American citizenship, then that's a different story and maybe they should have talked about Ilya staying in Boston and Shane moving once his contract was up, but Ilya specifically wants Canadian citizenship and his contract is up first so it's an utterly moot point.
Shane asks after Ilya's mental health and gets stonewalled. He provides openings and opportunities for Ilya to speak up and gets rebuffed or Ilya doesn't take them.
Completely genuinely, what else was he supposed to do??? At what point are his communication issues actually the primary driver of their conflict???
My favourite version of Shane and Ilya's D/s relationship is when Shane's asking Ilya to dom him in the same way a dog does when he brings his owner his leash to beg for walkies.
I'm quite literally always thinking about Shane Hollander, patient who needs kisses to live. I know that fandom likes to isolate one particular thing about a character and treat it as a completely disproportionate part of their Whole Deal but I think the kisses thing is real and true and real.
He begs for them. He says Ilya kiss me please baby I need you to kiss me I can't--please Ilya I'm so close-- and then Ilya kisses him and fuck, the world makes sense. Conversely, the meanest thing that Ilya can do to him is withhold kisses. Very rarely (Because this shit takes Shane out of commission for the rest of the fucking weekend) Ilya will get Shane ready, silent and intense and rough, but then he'll still put Shane on his back to fuck him. Then as he's pushing inside and Shane is tangling fingers up in his hair to pull him down for the kiss--the kiss he always gets for being so good, opening so well, for having such a nice warm hole to fuck, for taking all of Ilya inside him and then telling him how good it feels--
He reaches up for the kiss and Ilya just laughs harshly and says, "I don't kiss whores," and Shane just keens, frantic, fighting, and then Ilya gets to hold him down and make him take it, make him cry on his cock, make him beg for something he knows he won't get all while Ilya stares him down, lips curled and pupils reflecting Shane's own tear-streaked face back at him.
Then Ilya gets to put him all back together again, soft kisses all over his face, nose eyes ears cheeks chin--but lips first, so that Shane knows how good he was. And Ilya pops grapes into his mouth and passes them to Shane with their kisses (Because he NEEDS the kisses but he also NEEDS the electrolytes, his beautiful fucked-out boy) and in between Ilya is saying beautiful and good job and mine and Shane says thank you thank you I love you I love you.
In The Long Game, Shane has a thing for public sex, but only conceptually. He likes the idea and fantasy of it. He wouldn't actually do it.
Which, honestly, is good for Ilya, imo. Because let's be honest, he'd seethe with jealousy if anyone but him saw Shane the way he did. The way Shane goes all pliant and soft? Only for Ilya. The way his eyes go hazy with pleasure? Only for Ilya. The way he begs for Ilya to go harder and faster, with a "please" thrown in? Only for Ilya. The way he completely trusts Ilya and gives him power for this moment? Only for Ilya Rozanov, and he will not be sharing.
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Shane and Ilya have a child that absolutely loves hockey with every fiber of their being but is God awful at it. They don’t have an athletic bone in their body. Shane and Ilya know the only reason their child is on their team is out of respect for them. If the kid didn’t have the two hockey gods as dads, they wouldn’t have been able to peak inside a hockey locker room let along be on a roster. Shane and Ilya are trying to figure out how they’re going to talk to their kid and let them down gently when David comes over and starts talking to them about coaching. David gets them really interested in it. They transition from player to coach’s assistant. Two decades later, they’re hired as the head coach of the Boston raiders and they become the goat head coach.
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