I donât play much video games but Super Smash Bros. is fascinating to me because itâs a fighting game but the roster is this nutty mishmash of bounty hunters, furries, JRPG protagonists and cartoon characters, and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate just takes the frickin cake:
a plumber, his brother, a gorilla, a dinosaur, a boxer, psychic children, mountain climbers, an astronaut and his sentient plant slaves, adorable robots, Anime Harry Potter, a farting biker, the plumber from earlier but in doctor cosplay, two vampire hunters and a yoga instructor, CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER
an oddly high number of royalty??
said royalty includes multiple princesses, an alternate universe version of one of the princesses dressed as a male ninja, more than one reptile, and a giant penguin wrestler
not one but two inflatable pink marshmallows
every Fire Emblem character, ever
squid-people who are just, like, really good at paintball
guy who just stands in the background and makes you fight his pet turtle
three whole space furries with laser guns
a two-dimensional LCD stickman whose finishing move is turning into a gigantic octopus
multiple characters are evil versions of other characters
multiple characters are dads of other characters
Link can fight his nemesis, his girlfriend, his girlfriendâs secret identity, and two different versions of himself, all at the same time
psychic wolf, karate frog and Sonic the goddamned Hedgehog are in the same game as a fire-breathing space dragon, a genetically engineered assassin-soldier and a sexy witch with gun shoes
a game where a baseball bat is more powerful than a heat-seeking missile and you can survive a collision with the moon but get killed by a soccer ball
the strongest character is John Cenaâs fursona (plus his dick is on fire?)
also Iâm pretty certain Captain Falcon is actually All Mightâs race car driver OC
watch the cloned psionic Ultimate Life Form still lose the fight because an adorable dog built a house around him
a dog with a duck on his ass can beat up Dracula
oh my god, Ryu from Street Fighter is throwing flowers at a monkey in a baseball cap, the monkey has a lightsaber, thereâs a giant puppy blocking the camera and Cloud Strife just killed Pikachu with a banana, what is this game
yousharknotpass
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gummygunk
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romaincrisis
ellievsbear
