streetlights in the dark blue

if i was a white woman who lived in a big single family house that i owned id love to get really paranoid and drop wine glasses at the slightest noise, and pick up a kitchen knife all shaky while my home security i pay $125 a month for goes off because my shit ass kid forget to enter the passcode for the THIRD time this month TANNER!!!! youre making mommys nerves shot to hell! And then i drink my third glass of white wine

id also love to make tanner sweep up the broken glass and then when he misses huge chunks under the toekick id step on them and have a huge screaming meltdown and then my husband shows up and touches my foot but not with the tenderness that made me fall in love with him i feel his callouses and its not charming its horrible god its horrible and i silently sob for the rest of the night

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

the world is so big and beautiful

[ID: old CRT tv with the words "GRATUITOUS ONSCREEN FROTTING" filling the screen in all-caps on a bright red ground /End ID]

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

FUCK this post and happy birthday sonic

the most Child Emperor urge i have is to shout "BOOORRIINGGG!!!" when i have to witness something i dont like for too long