ok, this is not your grave, get out of this hole

Ouughh big stretc- *my spine completely shatters*

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

sometimes i have strong opinions but they're also so inane that halfway through writing a post i'll be like "yeah, this is Absolutely not worth the energy it's taking" and delete everything. but then the opinion is still in my head. and i still want to share it. so within five minutes i go "you know, i bet i can phrase it more succinctly this time" and anyway. you all see where this is going. sometimes i do this four times in a row before i give up on the specific inane opinion and instead write a vague post about the concept of opinions as if that'll satisfy the urge to post the entirety of my inner monologue online. may or may not be relevant to what you're reading right now. and now all our lives have been enriched. you're welcome

welcome to radio channel where we play nothing but the sound of your parents car pulling into the driveway

In my early-twenties I was addicted to photoshopping my nudes into Hieronymus Bosch paintings, though there came a point when the cohesiveness of the end products began to offend me

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

In my new gacha game, you can now pull for scantily clad anime women who represent famous airplane crashes.

as you know one of the problems of english is that you can't capitalize "I" for emphasis because it's already capitalized

huge fan of when cats reach out and touch each other with disrespectful intent

Imagine how bad that first post-nut clarity hits for a freshly married mormon

There is no greater bond on this earth than when you all despise and carry untold righteous anger about one person and then when you’re all together someone is like “so about that dead horse” and everyone starts sounding like Michael Jackson with the way they’re chanting beat it