you’re not supposed to be here

Take my hand. Look me in the eyes. You are better off buying a beater and learning to work on it than you are getting into a multi-hundred-dollar monthly payment and multi-hundred-dollar monthly full coverage insurance.

Insane car buying decisions should be of the "This would disappoint my parents" variety, not the "i have obtained debt" variety.

Do not buy a car you have not researched. You don't need to dig in to the complete maintenance history, but you should at the VERY least do a search for "Make/Model/Model year known issues" and if you find issues, make sure they're ones you're comfortable dealing with. I was comfortable dealing with the ABS issues on my 91 Jeep, but I would not be comfortable dealing with head gasket issues on a 2006 Subaru. I was comfortable dealing with electrical issues on my friend's 2012 Tacoma, I would not be comfortable dealing with electrical issues on a 2008 Hybrid Saturn Vue. If you are a first-time car buyer, you may not be comfortable working on ANY issues yourself, but you should know how much it costs to solve the kinds of problems that can come up with the car you're looking at. Electric cars can be a lot more expensive to fix than gas cars, for example. A car with known transmission and engine issues is going to be a lot more expensive to fix than a car with vacuum system issues. You can usually spot red flags with a quick internet search, but if you want to go more in-depth you should search "Make/Model Forum - Known Issue" and search for videos on resolving the issue on YouTube. Forums are one of my favorite things about car culture because you can learn SO MUCH both before and after buying a car.

If you are just starting your search and you don't know what to look for, as a first-time buyer the first thing you should care about is reliability. If you haven't been driving long or you don't drive much, you may not be able to recognize early signs of mechanical issues so it's a good idea to get a car that is known to be boring and reliable - in the US this would be the dullest ten-year-old Toyota Camry or Corolla you can imagine. You want to focus on extremely widely manufactured, popular cars that have a long history with that model line, something that has years and years of options to choose from. Don't buy a car from a defunct manufacturer (I love Saturns, I would not tell a first time buyer to get a Saturn because it is a PAIN IN THE ASS to get parts for one and they've been out of production for so long that it's hard to get reliable answers on what's normal from anyone other than people who own Saturns. It's way, way easier to find a mechanic who knows a Ford Focus inside and out than a mechanic who can help you with your Saturn Sky)

Look up "frequently stolen cars" and try to avoid those, also anything that turns up a ton in a search for "Stolen Catalytic Converter."

Consider your lifestyle, what the car will be used for, and where you live. My dad has been complaining to me that I need to get a bigger car than my Yaris (which was a tiny 2-door) because it was really hard to get more than 2 people in the car, especially if they had luggage. But I don't think I've ever needed to drive more than 2 passengers and my dad and sister are the only ones who get in my car with luggage, and that happens 2-3 times a year. What happens a lot more is that I need to park at a Trader Joe's in LA, so what's more important to my lifestyle is a car that can fit in a compact parking spot when surrounded by people with zero situational awareness. These two needs are not mutually exclusive, but both mean that it would be a bad idea for me to get a 1962 Ford F-250.

Consider maintenance and running costs. The model of car that I'm looking at has a Turbo option - I would not consider getting a turbo because that would mean buying high octane gas, which is not something I want to build into my car expenses budget. Check car forums for PDFs of maintenance manuals and look up what kinds of work needs to be done at what mileage with the vehicle you're considering. You're going to need regular oil changes, you're going to need fuel (or electricity costs, which will be less than fuel), you're going to have to think about the cost and lifespan of tires and when fan belts wear out and what the 50,000, 100,00, and 150,000 mile maintenance routines look like. If you're buying an older car, you SHOULD check and see if there's documentation of that kind of maintenance - there may not be, but if there is that's a good sign!

Consider insurance costs. If you're going to get a car loan - which I recognize that many people have to - in the US you would be required to carry full coverage insurance, which is fuck-off expensive. But even if you don't have a car loan, you may find that liability insurance is more expensive for SUVs than coupes, or more expensive for sports cars than trucks.

Take the car to a mechanic or have a mechanically competent friend come with you for the purchase to check out the vehicle before you sign anything (YMMV; your friend has to be VERY mechanically competent for you to trust a curbside inspection and a test drive). Find a mechanic who offers pre-purchase inspections first, then find a seller, then make sure that the seller knows that the inspection is going to have to be part of the deal. If someone is above-board, they should be fine with this. It will cost you something extra for the initial purchase and it may be an annoying filter for a lot of sellers, but if you don't know cars very well, this is non-negotiable.

Take a skeptical friend or family member with you to the point of purchase. You want a car. You are in need of a car. You have found something that seems like a good deal. Take someone who is less emotionally invested to be a cooler head because they feel less pressure to make the buy and more pressure to make sure their friend doesn't get fucked.

Know what kind of regional environmental damage you might be dealing with. I live in California. I will not buy a car from Minnesota. Cars from places where it snows have rust issues that are totally alien to me. If you're from a dry place and you're buying a car that has been in a humid place or a place with lots of cold wet weather, make sure to check for weather-specific wear and damage.

IF you are considering an auto loan, do NOT go to the dealership without a loan pre-approved. Look at cars that you are interested in and think will be trustworthy, look around in the local market to get an idea of pricing norms, take this information to the bank and ask THEM for a loan because your bank is going to give you a better rate than any dealership. Also a bank isn't invested in selling you a car. Some dealerships will approve anyone for anything; your bank (or, especially, your credit union), will not approve you for a loan that you're not going to be able to pay. A bank isn't going to give a college student a forty thousand dollar loan on an 84 month term at extortionate interest. Plenty of car dealerships WILL do that. And you don't want that. That's a terrible choice. Please, please, don't get screwed by the dealer finance department.

If you do have to get financing from the dealership, do not buy a car based on what you can afford each month, buy a car based on what you can afford as one lump sum. Your budget is not "your monthly budget for this bill" it is "this is as much as I am willing to pay for this car including taxes." Have an actual number in mind. Calculate the taxes first. Build in 5-10% for various kinds of dealership fuckery. The price of the car is going to be is sticker price, plus local taxes (look them up and do the math), plus interest, plus 10% - if your budget is $7000, you are probably looking for a car with a sticker price of no more than about $5000. If you are at a dealership and you say your budget is $7000 they are going to show you cars starting at $7000 and at an 8% dealership interest rate with no down payment because you're broke and 10% taxes you're going to end up paying $9500 for that car with interest. And if you say "oh, $7000 is too high, that's not in my budget" they're going to say "well we can adjust the loan term and bring down your monthly payment and at a five year instead of a three year loan your payment goes from $265 to $170, so you're saving $100 a month" but over the life of the loan you're paying like $800 more and your $7k car has become a $10k car because the dealership worked with you to "fit it in your monthly budget." So don't even fuck with that. Calculate your total budget ahead of time and tell them that the principle cost is your total budget. Here's a loan calculator that makes it easy.

Damage reporting and title requirements vary - I would not consider buying a car that had been in a serious accident as a first-time buyer but I wouldn't be put off by some minor cosmetic damage. If you are a first time buyer and you are looking at a salvage title or equivalent, I'd pass if you have ANY other options. If you're paying out of pocket, you may not have other options in which case you need to do what you can to find out what specific kind of damage totaled the car. DO NOT buy a car if the person selling it can't get you the title during the purchase. You don't own that car until you have the title in your hand.

Have fun and be yourself. But, like. Seriously. A car is a major purchase and you want to make sure that you get something that is reliable and will suit your needs, but if there's an option that has a stereo you like better, or has a paint color you find more fun, or a model year with styling you like better (as long as it doesn't have model year specific issues), try to get the car that you're going to like the most.

Stage 3 phalloplasty: penile implant demo.

If you are getting gender affirming surgery, especially if it’s your first major surgery, PLEASE be aware that you can become SEVERELY depressed afterwards ESPECIALLY if you have a history of depression or suicidal ideation.

Post op depression is a natural reaction to the crazy mix of hormones your body goes through after major surgery as well as the stress and anxiety of recovery. Think of it like an adrenaline crash, but dragged out longer.

For me it kicked in about 6 weeks after top surgery and the worst of it lasted until about 10 weeks post op. EVERYTHING felt IMPOSSIBLE. None of the skills I’d been practicing worked. I thought everything was going to be bad forever. I didn’t attempt, but I was in the hospital. If it wasn’t for my support system I probably would have attempted.

This is not regret, but it can feel like it. I remain happy about my results to this day (going on six years later).

This is not you failing to maintain your mental health, but it can make you feel like a failure.

Things are not hopeless, but through the haze of this depression they can feel hopeless.

It can be terrifyingly sudden or it can sneak up on you. I didn’t even realize what was going on until after the depression finally passed and my mental health went back to normal.

I am writing this post because nobody told me about this before my top surgery. I was caught completely off guard. For my subsequent surgeries being aware has made all the difference. Being able to treat those symptoms as an expected and normal part of the healing journey has made them far easier to deal with. Because even when my emotions go to dark places I *know* they will pass. I have been able to tell the bad thoughts to take a bad seat and focus on healing.

huh

So I forge him a new breastplate and on the inside, because I know he has plenty of room, I put a little pocket. Not big enough to hold anything functional of course. Just a little extra piece to see what he’ll do with it.

#one of the reasons why I love Korra#she has a muscular build and large breasts#which are never once even remotely sexualized in canon#and by never I mean NEVER#my daughter is also large-breasted#and for her to watch that show as a tween and see that?#she still talks about what a positive influence it had on her that Korra was athletic and strong and large-breasted and was never sexualize

and i am just so confused because Korra does not have "large breasts" by most standards?

like. seriously what are they talking about?!?!

Like, the outfit very much does not accentuate Korra's chest. So in many shots the blue all sort of blends together. Thanks to the shadows, the chest is more defined.

Like in the above photo, its nearly uniformly one color.

And this being animation, maybe some things are drawn inconsistently.

Because I'm pretty sure those aren't particularly large for adult humans in real life.

Like, yes, in that, they are more defined, and... they still don't look particularly large. Like, have I ever met an adult human female whose breasts were smaller than that? Yes. But just a quick inventory of "people who grow breasts that I personally know and whose breast size I can remember" comes up with I think about a dozen people whose breasts are larger than that, and a couple whose breasts are smaller than that, at least one of whom was cripplingly insecure about this for years.

I just don't actually think you're right about those being "large". Like, if someone complains about having "large breasts", I generally assume they're talking something significantly more debilitating than that. Like, I've known multiple people with breasts in the size range of "at a casual glance, it is not obvious whether the breasts are individually smaller in volume than their head".

I think maybe a lot of this miscommunication may stem from the word large. Because it's not defined clearly.

People who had chests around the size of Korra's have told me they were often sexualized as young teens.

OP made it clear they were talking about breasts large enough to make running hard. Yes, they mentioned sexualizing, but that doesn't mean all sexualized breasts are examples of the thing.

And honestly, I'm pretty sure Korra's just midrange for adult women. Source: Have been an adult for a long time now and have met women.

you need to understand that when you say korra has a large chest, what you are implicitly saying is that she's towards or at the top of the range. you are implicitly saying that this is a good example of what large means. you are implicitly saying that anyone with larger breasts than this is a statistical anomaly and shouldn't really be counted in matters of representation. which means that you are coming onto my post about my experiences and implying that i don't count.

i am trying to get a breast reduction. if it goes through then i will be getting a hefty amount of breast tissue removed and still end up with breasts about that size or maybe a little bigger.

i try to be nice but let me be clear: i find it insulting when people come onto this post and act like this is good representation for people with large chests. it makes me feel like if you saw me in real life you'd lose your mind about how big my chest is because you've clearly never seen anyone bigger than korra before. it makes me feel alienated. on my post about feeling alienated.