Monterey Bay Aquarium

ellievsbear

romaâ
occasionally subtle
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
đŞź

tannertan36
tumblr dot com
we're not kids anymore.
Claire Keane
ojovivo
Jules of Nature
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
taylor price
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸

Origami Around
hello vonnie
Misplaced Lens Cap

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@aieeeee

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little miss awful body temperature regulation is taking his hoodie off again
little miss awful body temperature regulation has put his hoodie back on
2020-2021 was rough time to be alive yes itâs true but it was a great time to be a tumblrina
cant stop thinking about this video
For context this was in response to someone saying their cybertruck was heavy duty
oh no no NO no no I am sorry my dear @thebirdtm you are NOT underselling one of the most seminal pieces of television of my entire childhood like that on MY watch.
"How is claiming they drowned a Hilux possibly underselling it" GREAT question.
To start with a little disclaimer, Top Gear's Hilux did not start off, as in the video above, in pristine condition. It started off with nigh-on 300k kms (for you yankees, that's about 8.4 million Boeing 737 wingspans) and a condition to match.
And it's only once careless driving around town yielded zilch in given shits...
(look, I found a local newspaper picturing it being driven around!)
...that they decided to drown it. Now, the underselling part: if you told me that they drowned a pickup the first place my mind would go to would be "driving it through a river a bit too deep for it, perhaps as deep as its height, until it stalls and then tugging it back out. You will concede that's rather different from tying it down on the seashore with the second highest tide in the world...
...and leaving it there until it engulfs the whole truck...
...only for the ropes to snap...
...and for the truck to be lost to the tides for FIVE HOURS.
(and for those wondering, yes, just as promised, well within an hour and the mandatory limits of basic tools and no spare parts, up the mechanic made the thing fire and away the presenter drove it - I must imagine doing a number on his clothes in the process.)
Oh also I would have mentioned the caravan.
Or at least the wrecking ball.
But hey, at least the fire was mentioned.
Still, I feel it's criminal to leave out how they celebrated it surviving all it did: by parking it at the top of a 23 story building for all to see! :)
Wait NO-
Well, that was uncalled for. Given what it survived, it deserved to rest in a museum instead of being unceremoniously cleared out with the other chunks of public housing that buried it.
Or at least, given that buried it wasn't...
...to be tumbled down from the rubble utop which it sat...
...and be fueled up.
"be fueled up", pfft, what for?, I hear you say. And you are right.
Look at that thing, you say.
Let's be serious now, however pretty of a story it would be that's not a truck that will do anything remotely in the ballpark of firing up, let alone running.
And again, you are right.
The battery was disconnected.
Sorted that, tho
"You can't be serious." Oh darling I sure can! "Well the presenters can't then" no no, I assure you, it lived. Go see it for yourself! It's at the National Motor Museum in Beaulieau, England!
I grew up watching Top Gear and it shaped me in many ways. My adoration of old Toyota Hiluxes is one of them.
The Toyota Hilux is absolutely the small god of endurance and defiance (and possibly masochism).
yes I'm reposting about a small god truck are you kidding me
i just said out loud, âyou know what really gargles my goyles?â and then i had to just sit there and accept that i now live in a world where someone said those words in that order. and now so do you. what a tangled web we weave

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If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.
Employee-customer solidarity
Even if they don't- Your review can be the thing that wrecks someone up accidentally;
"Janie was so helpful when I wanted to buy a new washing machine on Friday, she stayed with me for half an hour and wasn't pushy at all, we had a good laugh about our cats' silly antics and she got Adam and Suzy to carry it to the car for me- 10/10 excellent service, I'd come back any day!"
-But Management has a policy that workers should spend no more than 10 focused minutes on any customer at a time, and that they should always try to upsell the insurance and the higher price model, so Janie was breaking policy.
-And they aren't supposed to have their phones on the sales floor, so now Janie is going to be quizzed on whether she was showing photos of her cat to a customer.
-Adam is a warehouse worker and shouldn't have been in the front-of-house at all, Suzy is a porter, and store policy is both to use a trolley to move heavy items, and that only the porters should do it, so now Janie is in trouble for pulling Adam off-task, Adam is in trouble for walking through the shop floor, and Suzy is in trouble for poor handling procedure. Maybe the store even has a paid delivery service that Janie was supposed to upsell as soon as you said "I can't put this in my car without help", so this was all against policy.
Your review should always be as bland as possible, "10/10, five star service, will shop here again, thank you to Janie at the Town Street branch" You NEVER know what was technically a rule-break, capitalism is not your friend, the review process is part of the panopticon.
FIVE STARS, TEN OUT OF TEN, VERY GOOD, NOTHING MORE.
The fact that there's an actually functional website for the library of Babel is one of those things that fucks me up more and more the more I think about the implications.
So, if anyone hasnât encountered the concept of the library of Babel, the idea comes from a story of the same name by Jorge Luis Borges, which is set inside a seemingly infinite library which contains every possible combination of letters, periods, commas and spaces that fits within 410 pages.
So like... It isnât THAT out there that someone was able to make a digital version of it. Making an algorithm that randomly generates every possible combination of those 29 characters within that space and making a website that lets you explore those combinations are things that are pretty squarely within the scope of things youâd expect someone to be able to make a computer do.
But it begins to get pretty out there when you start thinking about all the things that are technically contained there (and that someone randomly browsing it could THEORETICALLY stumble upon) just by virtue of being one of those possible combinations of letters, spaces, commas, and periods.
Somewhere in that website there IS a book that specifically mentions me by full name before giving an accurate, excruciatingly detailed, 410-page long physical description of me. Thereâ also many more books that SEEM to be that but are actually factually inaccurate. Thereâs also versions of all of those containing every possible combination of every possible typo, spelling mistake, and grammatical error.
Somewhere in that website there IS a book thatâs a perfectly accurate prediction of how and when I will die narrated in third person over the course of 410 pages. Thereâs also a book that contains the exact same events narrated in first person. Not only for me, but for every person in the world. There are many more that claim to be that but are actually inaccurate.
Somewhere in that website there IS a book thatâs completely blank except for the worldâs funniest dick joke written right at the end of the very last page.
But chances are no one browsing that website is EVER going to see any of that because for every book we would consider useful, interesting, or even intelligible there are millions upon millions upon millions more that are just completely full of gibberish from cover to cover.
Every single thing I will ever write (barring punctuation marks that arent periods or commas and the letter Ăą) is already contained somewhere on that website.
I have a volume from the Library of Babel! it's one of my most treasured books.
on the second to last page, about halfway down it reads "OH TIME THY PYRAMIDS" a singular grain of order in the sea of chaos.
The library of babel contains every book to ever exist and moreover it contains all information that can be encoded in a finite string of characters from its alphabet.
I cannot overstate how much I love the Library of Babel. it's wonderful, it is my heart and soul.
at last we created the perplexing nexus, from the novel "wouldnt it be weird if there was a perplexing nexus?"
yeah it would be weird wouldn't it
How the fuck did you find this?
If you go to the website, you can search for particular strings of text.
big fan of platonic expressions of devotion actually. yeah we're best friends of course i'd find you and hang out with you in every universe.
you're all joking about not wearing earplugs to concerts, right? we're not out here rawdogging 120dB. right.
to be clear i'm not trying to be moralizing or anything it's just important to me that people at least know they should be protecting their ears at concerts and clubs. repeated exposure to loud enough music will lead to hearing loss. you will get tinnitus. you don't want tinnitus.
[GUY WHO IS AN OPEN, AND FRANKLY RATHER CONCERNING, BOOK]: don't read into it too much. honestly.

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Indie music fans will literally be like oh yeah man you should totally listen to âmy self doubt is slowly killing me and all my friendsâ by Penis Defibrillator itâs an absolute banger
That would be because I, quote, âmade it the fuck upâ
Pssh, yeah right. Nobody can 'Make the fuck up' Penis Defibrillator.
You obviously didn't look very hard.
On top of that, Penis Defibrillator was very ahead of their time and tragically overlooked by the "indie" music community, despite being brave enough to do what nobody else would do in music.
Tumblr won't let me post the whole track because of copyright, but here's the most memorable bit.
Put some respect to their fucking name.
Donât come onto my post and be funnier than me
Heard some important information on Twitter today, and thought Iâd post it here for anyone who may not have heard it. This is actually a thing, devised by human rights organisation called Karma Nirvana.
Reblog to save a life?
Reblog to save a life.
Sharing because itâs actually a verified and sourced thing and not one of those dumbass fake tip posts.
Fuck me thats clever, actually worth reblogging
Because some of us (myself included) need this reminder sometimes
Why are you telling people to kill themselves?
Because they are ruining my diet pepsi experience
cats don't even unstick their claws out of things anymore they will just sit there with their claw stuck in a blanket and look at you like this until you unstick it for them
YOUR CAT WAITS PATIENTLY?? MINE TRY TO TEAR APART THE BLANKET WRENCHING THEIR PAW AWAY LIKE IT'S ABOUT TO KILL THEM WHILE IM GOING "LET ME UNHOOK IT LETME UNHOOK IT" Fucking maniacs....

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the ghost of one specific homosexual cowboy regularly possesses Tumblr gays