XCU-57 Combat Unit "Artemis"

So the UK will reroute a fucking Internet cable for a fake grave for a fake elf because a bunch of brain dead nerds through a pissy fit, and meanwhile real actual natives in the US are getting arrested for trying to keep oil sand pipelines from going through their actual graves, holy sites and unceded territory. Burn it all down.

oh it's worse, it's not an internet cable, it's a cable for distributing cleanly generated solar/wind electricity

brush your teeth there's like 30 or something guys in there give em a scrub

this morning i got a spam call that just played clown waiting music for a few seconds and then hung up on me. which really pissed me off a lot

the needler is not a "little brother weapon" actually it has an important tactical niche that takes a surprising amount of skill and it has the glowing spikes too

stop telling me to pick up the energy pistol I don't like the energy pistol

if a girl is a pervert and shes cute and a little dorky you just have to flirt with her thats the rules

recurring dead wife flashback where it becomes increasingly apparent that the person remembering her has dishonestly claimed a romantic dynamic to their relationship that never actually existed and erased any conflict that ever existed between them now that she's no longer able to say no to them

dead wife flashback where each time we see her she looks more confused and upset by how she's remembered, then desperate and furious, until she's hammering on the glass screaming to be let out

this isn't how it happened. you know this isn't how it happened. but you still keep coming back, keep disturbing my grave so you can play out your fantasies. voyeurs crowding around my autopsy, straining for the best view; pawing through my entrails like grubby butchers trying to find some golden meaning in blood and shit because you can't bear to face the cold light of truth. you just can't bear the thought of never having really known me at all.

Hot tip for any aspiring contract killers/hitmen - if you pretend to have a code of honor sometimes you can dupe clients into paying you extra for women and children

i'm gettting harry potter ads on grindr :/

she said her mom saw the pic of my ass, which i apologized for like it was my fault but ,,,, mom can get it to .,,,,

my ass got a compliment her mom complimented my ass??

her mom is les and just left her dad oh my god i'm so normal ahhhhhhhhhh

i am... i can't try to hook up with her mom can i... oh my god

i think she's actually setting me up with her mom my pits are dripping sweat im so normal...

i uh, i got her moms number....

i never thought i'd send a cis person a dick pic but mother's know best...

Jennifer is wonderful and she said it's a shame her daughter is over otherwise she'd invite me over and answer the door in lingerie, which is so silly of her

walked past a guy reporting a shoplifter to the cashier at the corner store (boooo) but from what i could overhear he like. fully watched the shoplifter leave and didn't say anything for at least 5 minutes and was only bringing it up now? which really seems like the worst of both worlds. you're being a narc but late enough that the cashier can't even do anything about it. what are you even getting out of this. who is winning here. what is the thought process.

I wish humans had monkey tails (most likely tail we'd have ngl) because it would be so cute. There's an alternate world out there where people are dying their tails and buzzing patterns into them and getting tail accessories and tail piercings. God could you imagine