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┊ ♡ ﹒ summary : a little drabble about a bratty and whiny michael who knows he's being unreasonable but can’t regulate himself in the moment.
┊ ♡ ﹒ byi : michael is emotionally immature here and behaves unfairly. his reaction is fed by insecurity, guilt, and fear of losing access to your attention, not actual wrongdoing on your part. mild angst, emotional dependency, bossy reader x pathetic michael, possessive behavior, this could be manipulation.. if it is.. he’s very good at it.
By the time Michael finally worked up the courage to call, it was embarrassingly late. Hayvenhurst had fallen into the peculiar stillness that only existed after midnight, when even a house full of family and staff seemed to take its break from constant movement and surrender to sleep. The television downstairs had long since been abandoned and the hallway lights had been cut off, so the occasional creak of the floorboards sounded louder than it should have in the stillness. Earlier, his brothers had noticed him wandering aimlessly from room to room and pressed to know why he looked like he was stressed out. Michael brushed them off and they’d laughed at him but eventually they’d gone to bed, leaving him alone with the increasingly obvious fact that he was avoiding something.
The irony was that the situation itself wasn’t particularly complicated. He’d promised her he’d come by. He hadn’t. Even worse, he’d failed to call. Rationally, the solution seemed very straight the fuck forward. Pick up the phone. Apologize. Explain what happened. Any reasonable person would have done exactly that hours ago. Unfortunately, the longer Michael sat with the mistake, the less it looked like a simple conversation and the more it began to feel like he was actually awaiting trial. By midnight, the phone call had become significantly larger than the thing he was actually calling about.
Every few minutes, he found himself replaying the evening in painful detail. Not the recording session itself, but all the moments in which he.. could have left. The moments he’d thought about leaving. The moments he’d remembered her. There had been dozens of them, that’s what made it so difficult to defend himself against. He hadn’t forgotten at all. Forgetting would’ve been.. maybe something he preferred at this point. But, he’d repeatedly acknowledged his obligation and then chosen, over and over again, to stay just a little longer. One more conversation. One more adjustment. One more thing that needed his attention. Each little decision had felt insignificant at the time. Looking back on them now, they appeared lined up in a neat row, forming a trail that led directly to the realization that she’d spent her evening waiting for her boyfriend who never arrived.
The phone sat on a table in the living room, and Michael found himself glancing at it whenever he entered the room to make sure it was still there, as though it were to up and walk away or something. Twice he picked up the receiver before setting it back down. Once he dialed half her number before losing his nerve. The problem wasn’t that he didn’t know what to say, he knew exactly what to say. But what unsettled him was the possibility that she’d answer sounding exactly like the particular tone she got when she was genuinely disappointed in him, one that never rose above conversational volume and therefore left him with nowhere to hide.
The longer he delayed, the more unbearable his anxiety became. What if she didn’t answer? But what if she did? Somehow the second possibility felt worse. At least silence would allow him to postpone the conversation until tomorrow. Hearing her voice would require him to confront the reality of what he’d done. Michael knew her well enough to know she wasn’t going to accuse him of betrayal or break up. If anything, she was likely to be annoyingly.. cold about the entire thing. Michael had always found her disappointment significantly more effective than anger when it came to making him feel guilty.
Because he craved her validation.
Eventually he found himself sitting alone on the couch, elbows resting on his knees, staring at nothing in particular. The house remained quiet but somewhere upstairs, a door opened and shut. The clock continued ticking. Time had slipped through his fingers so easily earlier that evening, but now it seemed so determined to make itself known. He thought about her sitting at home. Thought about her checking the time, about all the opportunities she’d given him to call before eventually deciding he wasn’t coming. The image lodged itself in his chest.
That more than anything else, finally pushed him toward action. The simple realization that every minute he spent avoiding the conversation was another minute she spent believing he hadn’t cared enough to have it. Michael stared at the phone for several seconds before reaching for it. His heart was pounding so hard that would’ve been embarrassing under normal circumstances. He was about to make a phone call, not jump from a plane. Yet the receiver felt unusually heavy in his hand all the same. Before he could talk himself out of it again, he dialed her number and pressed it to his ear, listening as the line began to ring.
The first ring made his stomach drop.
By the second, he was considering hanging up.
By the third, he had somehow convinced himself that she was probably asleep and that would be for the best! He could tell himself he’d tried! He could revisit the problem tomorrow when he felt less like a sinner approaching the creator.
Then the line clicked.
“Hello?”
The relief that accompanied the sound of her voice lasted for approximately half a second before reality hit him again.
She didn’t sound asleep, in fact she sounded very awake and alert for the time. She sounded perfectly normal. No obvious anger or irritation, but enough distance in her voice to make him suddenly aware of how unprepared he was for this conversation.
“Hi.” Michael says softly.
There was a brief pause. “Hi, Michael.”
Her response lacked the warmth he’d grown accustomed to hearing whenever she answered one of his calls, and the absence was noticeable enough that he immediately found himself wishing she’d just yelled at him instead.
For a moment neither of them spoke.
Michael had spent the better part of an hour rehearsing various versions of this conversation in his head, yet now that she was actually on the line, every apology he had seemed to have abandoned him.
“..Did I wake you up?” He asked finally.
“No.” Another pause followed.
“Oh.” The conversation stalled almost immediately.
Under normal circumstances, she would’ve rescued it by now. She would’ve asked a question. Made a joke. Offered him something to work with. Tonight she seemed perfectly content to let him figure it out himself.
Unfortunately, Michael was discovering that he preferred her assistance significantly more than he’d previously realized.
He cleared his throat. “I just wanted to call.”
“Mm.”
“I didn’t come.” Because there is no elegant way into it, he just says it. No easing the statement in place without it sounding worse the longer he delays it.
“So, you called me for what, Michael?” She snips at him, her patience clearly running thin.
He swallows once. “Because I know you’re mad at me,” He says.. and hears quickly how inadequate that answer is to her question, like he has answered a completely different question.
There is a faint rustle on her end. Fabric shifting. Something being moved around, continued motion where he has none.
“Well, I’m getting dressed, so I can’t sit here on the phone with you.” She says after a second, picking up the conversation again where it stalled.
That pulls him out of his apology mid thought. “You’re what?”
“Getting dressed, Michael.”
He pops up, standing on his feet. “Why?”
A nasty, nasty feeling starts in his chest. Slow at first, like a knife pushing into his sternum before dragging down into the pit of his stomach.
“No!” He says before he can stop it. It’s an immediate, reactive response. Childish in tone because he does not yet have language for this yet, only how he feels.
Silence on her end.
“..Excuse me?” She asks, her tone shifts and it’s clear now her attention has fully turned toward him versus whatever she had been doing on the line.
Michael straightens slightly, his body is trying to catch up with what just came out of his mouth.
“That’s not—I didn’t mean—” He starts too fast, words tripping over each other. His pretty hand tightens around the phone cord. “I just.. I didn’t even finish talking to you,” He says, feeling the frog form in his throat before he can soften it. “I mean I called and you’re-”
“I cancelled on my friends earlier,” She cuts him off. “For you And you stood me up without even so much as a call.”
“I know but..”
“But what, Michael.”
“I don’t want you going out..” The sentence surprises even him in the moment it leaves.
“Michael,” She says slowly, tasting the fact that he just said that out loud. “What did you just say to me?”
His throat tightens and he shifts his weight, his body is trying to back up from something his mouth already committed to. “Nothin’.. I’m just frustrated, okay..?”
That makes her laugh, a really mean laugh. Frustrated? Oh, what a joke. He knows it too.
“You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do,” She says. “And you definitely don’t get to do it after you call me after midnight, and stood me up tonight.”
He swallows and the phone cord again tightens slightly in his hand again, “I wasn’t trying to—” He starts.
“You were.” She says quickly.
Michael doesn’t answer right away. He tries to, but whatever he reaches for doesn’t come out.
“I was. I’m sorry.” He gives up, no longer having it in him to sit and try to talk himself out of this. It was never going to happen. “I really am sorry..” He says, quieter now.
And then his breathing changes slightly.
He blinks hard once, like it’ll reset something in him.. but the tears form anyway and pool at the bottoms of his baby doe eyes.
“I just don’t like thinking about you going out.. without me..” He says, “Havin’ people look at you when you’re mad at me..”
On the other end she hears it in his voice, the tears. “Michael,” She calls for him, softer now. The correction is gone from her voice and so is the firmness. “Hey.”
He shakes his head even though she can’t see it, trying to deny the reaction his body is having. “I’m okay..” He says, which makes it worse.
“Don’t do that.” She’s still upset but how can she be so firm when he’s on the other line sounding like a kicked puppy? “You’re crying, my angel.”
He breathes in, uneven. “I—” He attempts, but it breaks halfway through, and that’s the point where he stops trying to finish the sentence at all.
There’s a quiet sound on her end, she’s shifting how she’s holding the phone. “Okay,” She sighs. “Listen to me.”
He doesn’t answer because if he tries, it won’t come out right.
“Yes, I’m upset with you, Michael..” She says. “But you’re very overwhelmed right now, yes? So please calm down..” Then softer still, “I’m going out for a bit, and then I’m coming home. Okay?”
He lets out a shaky breath he didn’t realize he was holding, “I don’t like it.” He admits, barely audible.
“I know, Mickey..” And there it is again, that shift where she stops being strict with him. “But I can’t deal with this right now, the girls are here.” She says eventually. “But I’m not ignoring you, okay?”
He nods again out of instinct, forgetting she can’t see it.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow..” She adds.
“Okay,” He manages.
“Good,” She says, gently. “Go sit down for me.”
And he does, he hadn’t even realized he stood up at some point.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
The line stays open for a second longer with the both of them still there, neither quite ready to fully end it until she finally lets it go.
⌗ black & blunt af. april taurus. reblogging multifandom blogger. #tumblrassho. #NOANTIBLACK. atlanta girly. gif luvr, open to writing anyone, i love you .ᐟ
⌗ WARNINGS: 18+ bc i will be writing smut, anybody can read my stuff but READER WILL ALWAYS BE BLACK! if that triggers u dont read my shit bc im always repping black women (me).
requests are open .ᐟ
masterlist 🌐 .ᐟ
⋮ ⌗ 👥┆imagines ⋮ ⌗ 👤┆headcanons ⋮ ⌗ 🫂┆oneshots
I SAY I CAN MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, prt 1, prt 2 ⋮ ⌗ 🫂┆𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄, 𝐉 .ᐟ
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I don't just have one playlist so I did one song from 5 different playlists!
WHO WILL COME OUT ON TOP?
One song to rule them all...
Say Hello, Wave Goodbye ~ Soft Cell
Francis Forever ~ Mitski
Vampire Reference in a Minor Key ~ Will Wood
The Subway ~ Chappell Roan
Everybody Wants To Rule The World ~ Tears For Fears
Voting ended onJan 11
Who wants to go next? @planetaryarty, @theo-a-deux, @likep1xiedust, @the-mysterious-cube, @becareful-tm, @jaggerdudeer (and anyone else who wants to join!)
(for those who I tagged on a side-blog/fandom specific blog, feel free to reblog from your main :3)
That’s the kind of crap I hate Tumblr for. It’s not sarcasm. Whoever started this thread should be - I can’t even come up with a perfect punishment without reblogging it first. I just hope that you suffer a lot. That’s all.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
basically i will just use this blog to document my thoughts and post whatever i want . you will enjoy it too 🦭
some AWESOME things about me 🇳🇱
i have an amazing music taste such as tmbg , joost klein , laufey , 21 pilots , kendrick lamar , jeanette , ABBA , claude , neutral milk hotel , bauhaus , the cure , mitski , bo burnham , tally hall , the mountain goats , kimya dawson , bikini kill , frank sinatra , MF doom , abandoned pools , moxy früvous ,will wood , dashboard confessional , bôa , belle and sebastion , cat power , marina , green day , the beatles , siouxsie , the dresden dolls , dazey and the scouts , and destory boys
i am very big on choir and musical theatre my favorite musicals/plays: CABARET , anything goes , sweeney todd , clue , heathers , hamilton , dear evan hansen , catch me if you can , wicked , little shop of horrors , abd ride the cyclone
random other things i like are homestuck , smiling friends , zach hadel , sweet foods , spicy foods , icelandic , academics , clone high , cds , art , radio stations , drawing , cosplay , youtube , daria , danny gonzalez , kurtis conner ,fashion , funkyfrogbait , pikmin bloom , juno , scott pilgrim , moral orel , spongebob, homecooked dinners , late night drives , garfield , other kitty cats , band merch , my best friends , shelley duvall , collectibles , cold nights , samuel dalton reich , dropout , bojack horseman , gamechanger , make some noise , the noise boys , autumn , latex gloves , computers , fruit , vegitables , proteins , tumblr , discord , seals , politics , talking , holidays , ddlc , psyh horror , artstyles , complex conversations
thats it please love me hello 🦭
im gonna add like random tags to get people of similar kind will find me
find my think posts under #camthinks and find my random posts under #camrandom
Radfem- a woman who believes the key to eradicating toxic masculinity is toxic femininity. This is similar to pouring gasoline or alcohol on a fire because "it's a liquid".
Heterophobe- this is fucking wild and I could write four paragraphs on it. How are we going to survive if we can't produce more people? Grow them in farms? Like in The Matrix?
Incel/Femcel- this word is an admission that you get no sex, quite possibly due to several reasons: 1. you have poor hygiene 2. you're strange 3. you're insufferable (refer to Elliot Rogers) 4. you expect more than you actually try to earn (also refer to Elliot Rogers) 5. you're misogynistic/misandrist or racist. By the way, concerning people who call themselves femcels, are you aware that that means you literally cannot get sex? You'd have to be at a record low as a woman to not receive so much as a perverse eye. Women are fetishized to no end in many cultures, notably western culture.
Emo- though this is a style, you aren't supposed to admit it, silly!
N*zi- wow, on Tumblr, do I have to specify what a N*zi is?
(anything related to Palestine, Israel or Gaza, specifically if you weren't born there)- I think everyone's wrong but nobody wants to make peace and I think if you don't experience the horrors of being stuck in a warzone as a mostly helpless civilian you shouldn't form an opinion on this subject because it is heavily set in religion and what you would have been taught as a child.
Homophobe- vete al infierno, imbécil. ich hasse dich und du kannst saugen ein schwanz. This is a simple answer really. You just don't belong on this website.
MAGA- Does anyone here still support Trump? If so I think they should really get into being a career soldier. If they support Trump, they may very well support anything.
Racist- I don't like you and I would like to disembowel you with a knife. There is no way the color of somebody else's skin is off-putting to you.
TERF- So, wait, let me get this straight- you support women but you don't support women. Bruh, I just saw a post five or ten minutes ago being like "trans men are the only trans people allowed to be lesbians". Dude, they're men. Also, you really often can't tell with trans people, unless they're early on in their medical practices.
"Men dni"- okay?
"Cis men dni"- okay?
"Trans women dni"- okay?
(insert something involving being tough or having guns)- do you want a cookie? you're such a strong boyyy! oh yes you are! who's a strong boy?
Christian- Do NOT take this the wrong way. I'm Christian myself, actually. But... if you specify it on your bio, chances are you weaponize it and miss the point of being Christian to begin with.
"18 under dni"- This one's not so bad, it's either porn or sexual content. Either way I'm perfectly okay with this one, it's just tiring when exhibitionists go "how ya doin huh" or "want some fun" in my DMs. (No, it isn't./j)
"fuck trump"- congratulations! you are now a leftist! claim your free prize at 282 gofuckyourself lane in doyouwantacookie, canada!
"fuck (whoever is on the left)"- congratulations! you are now a rightist! claim your free prize at 282 gofuckyourself lane in doyouwantacookie, canada!
"fuck police" (or some other anarchist-adjacent statement)- dawg, without police, everyone- absolutely everyone- would suffer. Humans in practice love to be controlled and to know what to do and how to behave. Without police, I could kill as many people as I liked, and only the general population would have to stop me. We need them. They're flawed, yes, but we simply haven't gotten past their necessity. It's not even all of them; it's just the craziest ones. If you called the police right now and asked them to send help, there is at the very minimum a 70% chance they'd send someone for you right away. Same with troops. If it sounds like I'm throating police and troops it's because they work fucking hard. Let's refer to that one section of Seattle, I believe it was CHOP or something. It was a zone where police were banned following George Floyd. Countless robberies, drugs everywhere, overall dissatisfied or unhealthy people. Way too many overdoses and murders. You'd be chased away from certain areas. I guarantee you that some of these motherfuckers who hate police really wouldn't survive.
Anything about Hitler- wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait- you don't support the Fuhrer, the leader of the Deutschland breeder, the one who recognized the Aaryan race? WELL NO SHIT! If you do, though, I may carry the occasional Glock 9mm with the silencer. Because the man was a drugged up failure who was looking for something nonexistent, grandiose and perverse even by his own religion's standards. He wanted to wipe clean the entire planet of several different types of people because he didn't like them.
I need Tumblr to hear this. I don't care if I've just set off a bomb for unsuspecting site users. Most of the tags involve politics, so it shouldn't be much of an issue.
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