Just Polls!

Detect Poison - diagnose any poison or disease afflicting a creature

Detect Evil - determine whether a person intending for or against your interests

Locate Creature - know location of named person or nearest creature of type

Locate Object - know location of named object or nearest of type

True Seeing - visually detect any specified electromagnetic radiation

Speak With Animals - mutual understanding with multicellular animals

Detect Thoughts - read surface thoughts of targeted human mind

Tongues - mutual understanding with any human who speaks a language

Comprehend Languages - understand any read or heard human language

Scrying - audio/visual spy on any named person or creature

Augury - know whether something is a good or bad idea before you do it

fuck these options, where's my fireball?

my parent(s)

my sibling(s)

my child(ren)

my romantic partner(s)

my pet(s)

my mentor

a rotation of my friends and acquaintances

whoever volunteers as my biographer

a ghost

an archeologist reconstructing from artifacts

oh no, the prospect of someone else examining my life gives me such anxiety

Bake a cake

Read a comic

Zyrtec the Allmighty

Xanax the Wise

Acyclovir the Void Caller

Delzicol the Dreaded

Firazyr Fire-Tamer

Kevzara of the Chromatic Eye

The Sibling Sorcerers, Mifepristone and Misoprostol

Norethindrone, Who Pierces the Veil

Tamoxifen, Bringer of Light

Yorvipath the World-Warden

Fools! All these tremble before the powers of [tag]!

...viagra?

firefighter

medical doctor

lawyer

police officer

artist / performer

teacher

carpenter

farmer

cook

pilot

when I heard about [tag] when I was a kid I knew it was the job for me

look kids, just buckle down and get an accounting certification

hive mind insects

militant empire

genius researchers

pure-logic philosophers

proud warriors

haggling merchants

scavenging engineers

whichever biology overlaps with humans so we can cohabitate

whichever biology excludes humans so we won't compete for resources

fuck it, Human Race Versus Everyone

union of OSHA-compliant dwarf deconstructors

team of goblin explosives experts

on-call elves speed-grow vines and roots for controlled disassembly

squad of orcs with sledgehammers and jackhammers

an evoker wielding targeted micro-earthquake(s)

a conjurer does strategic teleportations of load-bearing elements

a transmuter turns the whole damn building into air or maybe jello

a summoner with a massive creature for smashing

one (1) gnome with a Machine

I did NOT get portalled into a fantasy world to operate a 9-5 small business

Yes! (And that line is…)

Not entirely, but it was a big factor

Maybe / I can’t really remember

Nope.

Not a writer / results

they have to translate the wish into their native language literally

they're reducing their workload by maximizing "undo the last wish" wishes

they're teaching a valuable lesson about not using magic to fix problems

they want to blow through the wishes to get back to what they were doing

this is the only enrichment they get, stuck in a bottle the rest of the time

this is standard best practices per genie school 101

genie wishes are actually the tutorial level for making contracts with devils

cultural education to teach wishers how to deal with genies

in the wisher's heart of hearts they actually did want a 12-inch pianist

given unlimited power and freedom from retaliation everyone becomes a jackass

my pet theory is [tag], yes I WILL elaborate

this trope sucks, just gimme everything I want when I want it