funniest sound in the world is a cat smacking shit hard as fuck with their little stupid paw
i saw a cat with an honest to god balled-up fist getting ready to hit someone the other day and it made me laugh so hard i cried
get their ass little man

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@agentcheshire
funniest sound in the world is a cat smacking shit hard as fuck with their little stupid paw
i saw a cat with an honest to god balled-up fist getting ready to hit someone the other day and it made me laugh so hard i cried
get their ass little man

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How the media depicts the Apollo 11 mission:
Actual quotes from the Apollo 11 mission:
also according to michael collins when the three of them were discussing what neil armstrong should say when he first stepped on the moon, collins suggested armstrong say “Oh, my God, what is that thing?” and then scream and cut out his mic.
Everyone forgets Michael Collins and it’s fucking tragic.
All gays will go to hellsite
What if in hellsite but not gay
NO!
String identified: A ga g t t at t t t ga T tag g a Ag agag Acctac ! T tag g a Ag agag Acctac
Closest match: Psylliodes chrysocephala genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Cabbage Stem Flea Beetle
(image source)

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”Explain yourself” followed by “stop making excuses” has always baffled me because the fuck you think explaining myself is????
“Haha remember when murder-hornets were gonna be a thing? What a nothingburger.”
Yes, because the Washington state government activated like a sleeper-cell and ruthlessly, systematically hunted them down and annihilated them.
“Y2K came to nothing amirite?”
Yes because an army of software engineers working around the clock, losing sleep, and busting ass till the last minute prevented it from happening.
“Remember the hole in the ozone layer?”
You mean the one that was fixed through rigorous world wide government action?
One of the root problems of our society is a refusal or inability by media to articulate that all those “it’s gonna be an apocalypse” disasters were not disasters because we collectively did something about them.
The good news is this is actually quite correctable. I maintain my firm belief that we as humans are capable of solving almost all of our problems, when we decide to do so.
And I still think that’s going to happen. I don’t know when or how, but I do know that abandoning hope won’t help bring it about.
And I refuse to let the cynics own a chunk of my heart.
Happy Smallpox Eradication Day
For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."
Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.
Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.
Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.
The best part is the local city council's reaction.
And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.
All Eyes on You; AKA The Yellow Wallpaper
Lessons from the 90s that children today need

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has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull
things to say after fucking up egregiously
pack it up boys we've made a social blunder
let's run that again
one more time normal style
I'm going to become a statistic
further proof god is out to get me
it's because I tore my acl senior year
I couldn't do it for religious reasons
my ex took my talent in the divorce
good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)
Tech companies have discovered a new anti-pattern recently and its called violating your muscle memory by putting links to shitty features nobody likes where the most commonly used button used to be
I call the kinds of UX designers who do this "tech pests"
An extension of this:
An ad popping up a few seconds after everything else has loaded, pushing everything downwards and moving itself precisely into the spot you were just in the process of clicking.
The Germans really cooked making "Hobbyless behaviour" an insult. It is both devastating, applicable to a wide range of people and behaviours, and doesn't resort to swearing.
Man ranting on the internet about the Superbowl halftime show or complaining that something is "woke"? Hobbyless Behaviour. Girls mocking another girl for not looking right? Hobbyless Behaviour. Mindless vandalism? Hobbyless Behaviour.
It is more powerful than "get a life" or the English "You're Sad" because it gets to the central point of the matter, and that is wonderful. Danke, Deutsch.
There's something thats just so incredibly funny about the Afroman lawsuit cause theres literally no substance to it. Seeing all these cops getting upset and offended by Afroman music in a courtroom setting is just so fucking funny. Like a lawyer asking a cop "what private information of yours exactly was breached by the phrase "receding hairline dipshit"?" Like you could have saved yourself the extra humiliation, but instead you guys took it to court and now everyone has seen your sheriff literally break down crying over a song that says she licks pussy. Thats just objectively hilarious
I can't get over this. Afroman releasing individual diss tracks about each of the cops is so good. Cause like its one thing to make one or two songs about the house raid, but then to proceed to make a song called "Randy Walters is a son of a Bitch", call him out by name and say you fucked his wife, and then have that same cop go on court record saying he cannot confirm or deny that he got cucked by Afroman. Like congrats man. Before, everyone just thought he was joking about fucking your wife, but now you wont deny it

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This was on a post about how it's ignorant and privileged to wear headphones in public and I fear its already become a part of my vocabulary. Must everything harbor a moral failure.