A

One moment you’re 17 and daydreaming about how glamorous your life will be when you’re finally an adult, then all of sudden it’s a decade later and “treating yourself” means buying full price pistacchios and taking a bath on a week night.

All i do is screenshot and forget it’s in my camera roll

What is man but a miserable little pile of screenshots

@zceryll

people always ask which way you face in the shower... but baby, I'm a rotisserie chicken

me, watching a mobile game ad: you fool. you shit idiot. i would never let the goldfish fall into molten lava.

why it so dangerous to be clean

As someone who’s job is to handle chemicals like this, I need to state that this information is IMPORTANT. Plenty of people have accidentally injured or killed themselves at home because they didn’t know what kind of reaction certain substances have with one another. Play it safe and don’t mix chemicals.

Also don’t use bleach to clean up urine it’ll create chloramine bc of the ammonia in it and you can give yourself chemical pnemonia that way

bleach is scary

everyone wants me 😏 especially this guy chasing me with a knife