Just a Katra Floating in the Void

Pinned post for mobile and easy reading! Call me Khai (he/him, 30+). This is my main personal blog, but also the OOC hub for my RP blogs.

Stuff you can expect here: Star Trek esp. Vulcans / Romulans, scifi, history, archaeology, art, fanfic, activism, game mods, nerdy stuff.

About | RP Information | Pixel Art

My RP blogs are on sides:

Star Trek: Picard RP blogs for Elnor and Soji/Dahj.

Star Trek multimuse RP blog for my Temporal Wars OCs.

I also have some non-RP sides:

Personally I'm one of those asses who thinks that perisex people shouldn't ever use intergender, even though it has a history of being used that way. Language can and should change and adapt. It's personal, because it's important to me that it doesn't suggest to people that I'm nonbinary even if I've recently been researching demigenders.

Intersex people need a term which says "being intersex is fundamental to my sense of identity" without forcing them to also identify as nonbinary. It's a specific set of experiences that's unique to being intersex. Intersex people don't have the "second puberty" experience that transgender folks get. They have first puberty, a recovery of puberty that never completed, never started, was taken from them.

This is true even if your gender aligns with the one assigned to you at birth. That assigned part is important. You can be assigned a gender that doesn't align with your biology and it happens to intersex people as a matter of course. Intersex people have a lot of common goals, medical and legal needs, and experience similar prejudice as perisex transgender and nonbinary people. But it's not interchangeable.

Like, among other things, at least anecdotally, intersexuality has a racial component. Maybe I'm just biased because of my friend group, but everyone I know who's intersex also has North African or Native American heritage. It's often genetic. It runs in families. There's a reason Intersex Justice Project focuses on intersex people of color. Being "effeminate men" or "masculine women" runs up against both racial stereotypes and queerphobia going back to ancient times.

Being intersex has been a marker of "the other" for a really long time. On the flip side, ancient Greek doctors were also performing sex change operations on individuals who could prove in court they were intersex. (Source: Byzantine Intersectionality) This treatment was not available for perisex transgender men, but I've seen it quoted as "trans history." Sadly being a trans man in Ancient Greece wasn't that easy. Sexism was rampant for anyone they clocked as "female," and they were aghast at Scythians using mare urine for transfemme transition.

InterAct youth advocacy and education group.

Intersex Justice Project intersectional activism group.

Thisisintersex education site (with knowledge quiz).

I've seen people confusing and using the intersex flag to mean perisex nonbinary so here's history on 'intergender' so you don't do that. Intergender has a history of being used by both intersex and perisex people but the intersex flag does not. See also: InterNon.

Roommate was a white dude who really did look a bit like Tanis. Red hair, beardy, the whole deal. And he was telling me about how Tanis was his blorbo and how much he really related to him. Valid, I guess, I get it. But when I asked why Tanis was his blorbo and relatable he didn't have an answer? It was just "Yeah I really related to him."

And I vaguely remember pushing back with, "Right but Tanis's entire story is about being biracial, and being hated for being biracial, it's literally his entire motivation, and he only brings that storyline to a close when he learns that Kith-Kanan, his ancestor and the hero-king of the people who are being racist to him was, also, like him, biracial."

Something is really wrong with me and I'm so tired of navigating it and having to advocate (unsuccessfully) for it. I don't understand how anyone who's ill ever gets diagnosed or helped.

It's been almost three years now of vertigo, near-fainting spells, dizziness, exhaustion, headaches, blurry vision, joint pain, pressure at the base of my skull that relieves only with pressure on my skull, and now brain fog so intense that I can barely think, can't make phone calls. I'm terrified of driving because it's become legitimately dangerous. It's starting to become difficult for me to type because I'm losing finger coordination. All I can do some days is sleep. I'm always tired.

I've spent two years asking for imaging and been refused. Two years of endless blood tests. Endless "Well let's do this blood test first." "Well let's do the same blood test again it's been a few months.""Well your last x-ray (from 7 years ago) showed your neck wasn't that bad."

I lose my health insurance in six months. The only way I get it back is if I'm able to work 20 hours a week. I can't even make phone calls.

No one's even asked me about my family history. My mom's family has a history of benign tumors, but I've never been given enough time to bring it up. I had a doctor stop after like six visits to ask, "Do you have Mediterranean heritage?" I learned after looking up the disease she had in mind she meant Greek. My family isn't Greek. Nobody's asked about SWANA/MENA heritage and at this rate I don't want to bring it up. Like I'm actually scared my treatment will get even worse if I do.

Top 5 Medical Moments is the one and only time I did get imaging, for a different issue. They asked about past surgeries. I told them about a past surgery. They did imagining, finding evidence of past surgery. Proceeded to put a note of: "we found this mysterious scar tissue, gotta come back for another session." My word wasn't trusted at all. Probably not coincientally, this is one of the places that hurts all the time. And I am being refused imagining even though this note is in my chart.