Just Gotta Live A Little

“My cousin Helen, who is in her 90s now, was in the Warsaw ghetto during World War II. She and a bunch of the girls in the ghetto had to do sewing each day. And if you were found with a book, it was an automatic death penalty. She had gotten hold of a copy of ‘Gone With the Wind’, and she would take three or four hours out of her sleeping time each night to read. And then, during the hour or so when they were sewing the next day, she would tell them all the story. These girls were risking certain death for a story. And when she told me that story herself, it actually made what I do feel more important. Because giving people stories is not a luxury. It’s actually one of the things that you live and die for.” –Neil Gaiman

best thing about this movie was the perfectly marketed/polished commercial animal side kick just waiting to be the new olaf and then its in the movie for like 3 mins tops and instead a chicken that eats rocks gets to be the disney animal companion™

Also: Alan Tudyk is the only non-Pasifika/Maori person in the voice cast. He plays the chicken.

This is the sweetest thing.

this is honestly one of my favorite scenes from any reality show ever, it completely defies explanation or description and it’s impossible to convey just how fucking insane it is to someone without showing them the clip

to clear things up because some of you clearly cannot fucking read: i am a homosexual man who is willing to go back in time and put my entire penis inside of historical figure Leonardo Da Vinci’s rectum in an act of anal sex and then go on to live a lavish and intellectually stimulating lifestyle as his beloved top. i don’t know what a video game is and i don’t care.

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

i want to live life with you. not just the big moments, the parties, the concerts, the exciting parts of life, but the little things too. i want to go grocery shoping with you, decorate for the holidays together, see your beadhead in the morning. i wanna live my day to day with you by my side.

my name backwards spells “disappointment and skin problems”

nice to meet you, Smelborp Niks Dna Tnemtnioppasid

You really shouldn’t put your full name on the internet, it’s not safe.

I’m done

Smelborp for president

when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would going “I SMELL MEAT SOMEONE HAS SOUP” and no one ever believed him

why does it take human 8 hours to go out and poop when i’m done in 15 minutes?

some dog have big floppy ears, some have small pointy ears, some have long nose, some have small nose, but all are good boys and girls

my human says he has to leave all the time to make moneys to buy me treats and squeaks. i’m sad when he leaves but i’m always very wiggly when i get squeaks and treats. not sure how to feel

humans live more than 500 years. wish i could live with my human forever

i’m the only thing preventing the mailman and the vacuum from killing my entire family