Ok so apparently the girls went out for tinis and bruschetta without me

idk does anyone else feel like an unintended side effect of all this self help talk is that no one sticks by their friends anymore? you just get told constantly "girl put yourself first, if someone is difficult to deal with then just stop dealing with them, you're the most important person, it's fine to ignore your friends if you don't feel like helping them in that moment, etc" and i think one of the results is a bunch of people who encounter one disagreement in a friendship or one problem with someone and then just bolt. it's really fucking frustrating. there seems to be no such thing as giving someone the benefit of the doubt anymore or operating under the assumption that most people are trying to be nice and not hurt you. you have a panic attack and send a few too many text messages and suddenly you are Needy and Problematic and no one should ever have to deal with something as horrible as being texted a few times!! you're actually borderline abusive if you ask some people! yes it is now abusive to have a bad day and be a little weird and then say hey I'm sorry about that later. it's really cool. and these are the same people who consider themselves progressive lefties its really cool.

remembering the girl I started talking to who portrays herself as a sweet kind nice angel girl to everyone on this site and she was very sweet and kind to me until I had an anxiety attack and asked her if she still wanted to be friends and then she said oh I actually don't think we should talk anymore because you are just too anxious for me im sorry :) like I'm sorry but you aren't nice if you do that to someone!!! we had been talking for months at this point btw it wasn't like we barely knew each other or anything. just. I actually have no problem with you as a person but your anxiety bothers me :) so fuck off please :) im niceys though :)

it really sucks to feel like everyone else gets to have the benefit of the doubt when they are in a difficult place mentally or in life but when i need that same grace from people it's like. oh great syd's being mentally ill again. its really problematic that you expect your friends to make any kind of concession for you.

like if you have known me for years and this is a recent issue that ive been dealing with. you know that this is not my baseline. you know that I'm capable of communicating in a more healthy way. you've seen it! so why dont i get to have a hard time without getting abandoned when shit gets a little difficult? I would never ever hold it against a friend if they acted a little weird or crazy temporarily during a hard time in their life. whatever. I guess there is just something particularly repugnant about me haha