I am Schrödinger's Lemon

Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt

The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.

Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.

He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.

“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”

The crowd murmured with embarrassment.

“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.

“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.

“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”

Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”

--

Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.

“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”

Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.

“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”

THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.

“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.

Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.

“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”

Laios and Marcille held their breath.

“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”

Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.

Everyone turned to him.

Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.

“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.

“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.

--

Stop, drop, and roll works best for fires that DON’T use accelerants. This is because it STARVES THE FIRE OF OXYGEN. And we all know oxygen is part of that nifty triad for making burny burny hot flames. Anything that burns hot, like oil, is a nightmare at the best of times, when you’re on fire, it eats your skin and dries it out. That makes it a bad idea to stretch it and cause further damage by rolling. If you have no other CHOICE tho, SDR can be the difference between life and death.

If you’re trapped in a house by a fire, turn on a fucking tap and/or soak something you can throw over yourself. This gives you the chance to NOT ROAST TO DEATH. We like not roasting to death. Also, it’s harder for something wet to burn (I know, and water is wet too, I get this is Obvious™ to you but it’s not to others so shut up). A duvet that’s wrapped around you and sopping wet is a good method of getting out of the house because it’s a buffer between you and the burny hot murder flames. Buffers are good.

When it comes to a vehicle that’s caught fire, you definitely wanna get the fuck outta dodge ASAP. Forget getting your house keys, forget trying to parallel park, forget grabbing your favourite mask with the cute dog print on it. You get the fuck out of the car IMMEDIATELY (yeah, having to point this out is Necessary, believe me).

Any fire plan for a home should include multiple ingress and egress points (how to get in and how to get the fuck out) as well as information of where the necessary fire equipment is. A fire extinguisher or fire blanket in the kitchen, which door is most fire resistant, etc. If you don’t know any of that shit, find out. If your parents don’t know any of that shit then use the following:

Fire blankets can be bought. You might need to order online but you can get them and they do come in a variety of types. Kitchen ones are for oil and electrical fires usually.

Fire extinguishers come in different sizes and can also be bought. Best options are foam and co2. Foam is excellent for electrical fires, co2 for literally anything else you might find in the house. Have one for each level of your home. Seriously.

General rule of thumb is that the thicker the wooden door, the longer it’s gonna last against flames. Depending on if the door has a lacker/varnish finish of course. Fire doors are usually 4cm thick or more (in the UK) and give you up to an hour. Break that down and that means you get maybe 20-25 minutes per cm. This doesn’t translate perfectly to a 2cm door of course, but it can give you an estimate of which room might have the best door for avoiding becoming roast person.

I really wasn’t kidding about shoving your mattress out your window for escape by the way. It’s a totally legit way of Not Dying.

If you’re trapped upstairs by the flames and you can’t get to any windows, stay low to the ground, cover your mouth with something, and try to get to water. The shower can be very good for not getting dead. Soak yourself, your clothes etc.

The thing that kills people isn’t the flames usually. It’s the smoke. Stay low. Cover your mouth. Flames like to climb, not spread across the ground. Smoke likes to be high. Avoid both and you might survive.

Orange flames are a cooler temperature than pure white. Don’t try and escape through white flames. Also, don’t throw water on them. The water droplets literally can explode from the rapid temperature change and change from a liquid to a gas. You do not want to have mini gas explosions in your face as you’re trying to escape. That’s just adding a layer of agony to the already agonising near-death experience.

DO NOT USE A FOAM EXTINGUISHER ON AN ELECTRICAL FIRE. USE CO2 OR ABC POWDER.

Make sure your door is shut. As many doors as you can safely shut between you and the fire is good.

If you can get to your bathroom or kitchen sink, try and soak something you can put over yourself. A blanket. Duvet. Coat. Scarf. Anything. This will help if you are exposed to flames.

Cover your face immediately. Limit exposure to smoke and hot air. Stay low. Don’t breathe through your mouth if you can.

If you have no other choice and can’t get to a window or even out the building, the bathroom may be your best bet.

Soak a towel, shove it at bottom of the door. Soak the whole ass bathroom. Who cares if you ruin your lovely print paintings or whatever. Wet ground is harder for fire to catch on. So are tiles.

Hide in the bath if you have one. Add water and a wet towel over yourself. Baths tend to be ceramic. That’s good.

The shower is also good. Get that water running. Keep it cool in the area. Stay under the spray.

The thing that gets you isn’t the flames, it’s the smoke. Stay low, cover your mouth. Try not to breathe through your mouth. You want those nostrils to keep filtering particulates as best as possible.

Have your phone with you. Be on the phone with emergency services. Do not hang up. Tell them where you are in your home. They will relay it to the emergency services on the scene.

If you live in a place that has balconys and the fire is only on your floor, you could, if you’re trapped and can’t get to the bathroom, make a sheet rope and shimmy down to the floor below.

This is dangerous.

If you can, avoid it. Don’t do it. This is last resort.

Tie knots in the sheets as you go. This will give you purchase when climbing down.

Don’t fall and don’t die. Please.

I repeat. Don’t do this if you have other options.

She literally went “debate me! Debate me!” Over and over like the grifter she is and when she couldn’t get what she wanted and when “no” wasn’t enough she resorted to retaliatory sex-pestery, posting an image of somebody’s body with intention to shame and embarrass and spawn more waspish tittering from her internet followers.

(1) A person (A) commits an offence if—

(a) A intentionally shares a photograph or film which shows, or appears to show, another person (B) in an intimate state, (b) B does not consent to the sharing of the photograph or film, and (c) A does not reasonably believe that B consents.

(2) A person (A) commits an offence if—

If you live in Scotland (or indeed anywhere in the UK), you can call the police directly on 101.

Alternatively, you can file an anonymous report online through Crimewatch: https://crimestoppers-uk.org/give-information/forms/give-information-anonymously

This is a given.

If the last digit is divisible by 2 (a.k.a. even), then so is the whole number.

If the sum of the digits is divisible by 3, then so is the whole number. The recursivity of this means that if the sum has multiple digits, you can add them up again until you get a single digit and see if it's 3, 6, or 9.

Like the rule for 2, but check if the last two digits are divisible by 4.

If it ends in 5 or 0.

If the rules for both 2 and 3 apply.

No shortcut. Alas.

Like the rules for 2 and 4, but check if the last three digits are divisible by 8. (Yes, this pattern keeps going for 16, 32, etc.)

Like the rule for 3, but the sum of the digits (or the sum of the sum of the digits, etc.) must be 9.

To celebrate, here's a list of previously-featured books about drag artists that are still free:

Portraits of Victorian-era female impersonators archived by JSTOR

Two zines about drag kings archived by Drag King History

I think part of what is making young people lonelier, in discussing why they're increasingly isolated, is that they're so afraid of meeting someone who doesn't hold their same beliefs, and instead of being just core beliefs it is kinda ancillary shit.

It's actually okay to disagree even on social topics! Even on some political ones! But I mean, online you can start with "i love this mutual but they have a really bad/uninformed opinion about x media"

I know this is IMMEDIATELY going to be taken in bad faith, and yes babygirl, you are so right, I DO want you to go make best friends with both the KKK grand wizard AND your nearest nazi leader.

But seriously, as someone who has spent two decades doing community organization: finding ways to connect with different people is so so so important. There are people i follow here who ate 80% smart and their brain falls out of their head 20% of the time and that is GOOD FOR MY MENTAL ECOSYSTEM AND GOOD FOR LEARNING HOW TO BE A PERSON

Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.