Boo hoo hoo

me immediately after hanging out with someone: was i Weird and Cringe. do i need to be imprisoned

the fact that she revealed she lost a $3M deal to headline Wireless Festival in London for making this joke… only for Wireless Festival to then announce that Kanye West would be taking her place as headliner, face so much backlash for asking him to headline, have almost all the sponsors withdraw funding, and cancel the festival entirely is so funny to me.

The Ikea biphobia couch is the funniest thing that's ever happened. We found it gang. Nothing will ever top it in terms of being funny.

The what???

???

I don't know what to tell you man.

yea dude i know the floodwater is rising rapidly but the boss says we have to stay open because the fish dont get easy access to affordable marlboros very often and that could put us in the black for the month

trying to talk myself off the ledge in case zverev actually wins a slam this week. mickey mouse slam!! no one cares!! it doesn’t count!! he will leave no legacy!!!

people will describe their incredibly nebulous sexuality to you that they’ve never been able to define and the whole time you’re thinking that sounds like bisexuality brother