A Blessing of Wickedness

you would receive the supply once a month

the brand/type will vary so you could

Recently, Nigel Farage (the Member of Parliament for Clacton, and the frog-faced leader of right-wing fascist party Reform UK) has come under scrutiny for receiving a £5 million "gift" from a crypto billionare, and being unable to give a consistent answer for why. He has denied any wrongdoing, he has threatened reporters for asking questions about the matter, and he is currently under investigation by the Parliamentary Standards Commission.

If the Standards Commission finds Farage in breach of conduct, he will likely face a recall election in his district in September. He is unhappy with this possibility, so he has decided to "resign" and trigger a special election now. I say "resign" in quotes because he is standing in said election, and intends to remain in Parliament. Theoretically, winning this election will demonstrate that he has a mandate from the people in his district to continue representing them in spite of the allegations against him.

This is idiotic for several reasons. First, resigning now does not permanently shut down the Standards Commission investigation; if he is re-elected, the Commission can still find against him later on and still force him to face a recall election, meaning the Clacton constituency might have to hold two elections in the space of a few months.

The other problem for Farage is that essentially nobody else is bothering to entertain this farce. No major party is running a candidate against him, arguing that Farage is throwing a tantrum and wasting public money in the process. Only one opponent of note has put their name forward: intergalactic space warrior and perennial satirical candidate Count Binface.

The above image gallery is, at time of writing, the entire slate of candidates for this election.

This gambit has backfired spectacularly on Farage. He thrives on media attention, but with no serious candidates standing, this campaign won't receive any. No journalist who does cover it will bother asking him policy questions, so they will have to ask him about the £5m "gift" instead, which he hates discussing. He cannot run his usual shtick of presenting himself as the "anti-establishment voice", because the only thing more absurd than running against a comedian with a dustbin on his head is referring to said dustbin comedian as an "establishment politician". He cannot even attack Binface for not being local to the district because, to quote Binface himself, Farage "spends more time in America than in Clacton". The whole process will humiliate Farage --doubly so if Binface (as the sole protest candidate) garners a significant portion of the vote -- and one of the few things that fascist politicians cannot stand is humiliation.

Count Binface: Well, I'm not Nigel Farage,

...

I never really realised how much difference it makes until I went to England and realised that here the change of seasons is an obvious, visible, physical change in the world. Like, everything REALLY IS orange and foggy in autumn! In spring there are flowers EVERYWHERE, so much more than any other season, and the trees really do have all blossom and no leaves. Even if it doesn't snow, in winter there's frost all the time and the trees are bare and the sky is visibly greyer all the time. You don't need to be told "this date is the first day of spring", you can SEE IT (although this is getting way messier and less precise due to climate change).

By contrast, most places in Australia the seasons we're taught feel like arbitrary categories - and is it any surprise considering they're colonial constructs? Orange-leaved autumn and blossom-covered spring is a cartoon stereotype with no relevance on a continent where ALL NATIVE TREES ARE EVERGREEN!! Snowy winters are a joke in the desert, and even sunny summers don't ring particularly true considering that much of the country is in the tropics, where summer means monsoons - not that I've ever seen the concept that WE HAVE A MONSOON SEASON taught at an Australian school.

the 4 season model as you and i know it is a european invention, though 4 season models aren't unique to europe! most notably china has the same type of season subdivision.

And you just.

Said no????

HAVE I GOT SOME FRIEND SHAPED FRIENDS FOR YOU!!!

Golden Fruit Dove (Ptilinopus luteovirens), male, family Columbidae, order Columbiformes, endemic to the Fiji Islands

Photograph by Dubi Shapiro

Orange Dove (Ptilinopus victor), male, family Columbidae, endemic to Fiji

photograph by Chris Venetz & Chris Wiley

Jambu Fruit Dove (Ptilinopus jambu), male, family Columbidae, found in Malaysia and Indonesia

Photograph by @wendytpb

Cloven-feathered Dove (Drepanoptila holosericea), family Columbidae, New Caledonia

photograph by JJ Harrison

White-breasted Fruit-Dove (Ptilinopus rivoli), male, family Columbidae, order Columbiformes, Papua New Guinea

photograph by Trevor Hardaker

Pink-spotted Fruit Dove (Ptilinopus perlatus), family Columbidae, order Columbiformes, found in New Guinea

photo: Irawan Subingar

Wompoo Fruit-Dove (Megaloprepia magnifica), male, family Columbidae, order Columbiformes, QLD, Australia

Photograph by Jun Jose

Wompoo Fruit-Dove (Megaloprepia magnifica), male, family Columbidae, order Columbiformes, QLD, Australia

Photograph by Jun Jose

Cinnamon-headed Green Pigeon (Treron fulvicollis), male, family Columbidae, order Columbiformes, Singapore

photograph by Hong Yijun

Pheasant Pigeon (Otidiphaps nobilis), family Columbidae, order Columbiformes, found in New Guinea and nearby islands

May I present the best apple:

"This show is problematic because the hero didn't kill the villain at the end": When does he steal the bread?

"These two characters who were close friends throughout the series don't kiss at the end! What the fuck?": When does he steal the bread?

Female birds with confusing names.