one million very small dragons

SHUT

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.

The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."

Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER

No guys actually like classic cock. They just put it on when they’re in the car with other guys because it is the safest option and then they have to pretend to like it to each other to force a conversation

Typo on the dashboard. GET THEIR ASS

love this one.

dude

no those brothers are going to save rock and roll

the oldest women you’ve ever seen in your life will be at JoAnn Fabrics

that’s joann fabric herself

boys, can we get a dick in the chat? i want to see all your penises in the chat 

don't MAKE me turn this hero's journey around!

Aww, is somebody still in “refusal of the call”?

#lmao how are you gonna turn around when the hero can never truly return home?

just heard the austin powers theme playing faintly somewhere in the house, I’m the only one here