[image description: multiple quotes, all black text on white backgrounds:
1: Will I be something?
Am I something?
And the answer comes:
You already are.
You always were.
And you still have time to be.
2: you want to be loved if only to prove it possible: to tell the world that someone saw you as a conquest & came back alive. that above all else, you are worthy of the risk, the effort. you want someone to serve you the evidence: you are not as damned as you think are. you are not as damned as you think you are.
3: I won't last. Memory is sweet. Even when it is painful, memory is sweet.
4: that the house is slowly on fire
that the house is slowly on fire
and I can't get you to leave it
and I can't get you to leave it
and I can't leave without you.
and I can't leave without you.
5: A kiss on the forehead - erases misery. I kiss your forehead.
6: No one is watching.
So why does it have to be beautiful?
You, in pain, are no closer to god than
You, in the drive thru or
You, checking your email or
You, holding your own hand.
7: Prior: But still. Still.
Bless me anyway.
I want more. I can't help myself. I do.
8: Tell me you love me, he says.
Could there be a sweeter arrangement? Over and over
he gets to ask it.
I get to tell.
9: my grief, like a migraine,
strangling my hope.
my grief, my only scapegoat
from the wretched
of just surviving.
10: The San Francisco therapist. kept telling me I shouldn't be terrified of creative experimentation.
"I don't know what's going to come out of me," I told her. "It has to be perfect. It has to be irreproachable in every way."
"To make up for it," I said. "To make up for the fact that it's me."
11: sometimes i forget how i got here.
sometimes i forget how much i didn't want to survive. /end id]
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