Spooky Pickles

"no"

Host : Well, your name is Obu?

Obu : Yes sir!

Host : And your last name is Obu?

Obu : Yes sir

(Audience laughter)

Host : Obu Obu

Woman, off screen : You should ask him what his middle name is

Obu : Steve not ready for that (2x) (incoherent audience laughter)

Host : You don't know how ready I am! (Audience laughs) As a matter of fact, we not doing a damn thing until we find out! (More laughter) What is your middle name, Obu?

Obu : It's Obu. (Louder audience laugh)

Host : Obu Obu Obu

Obu : Yes sir! ( Audience laugh) Gotta show some ID?

Host : (softer) now you gotta show them id. You got it on you?

Obu : So the process I go through, go on check that out!

Host : I'll be damn. (More audience laughter and clapping) Your-- who, who named you, Obu obu obu?

Obu : My father.

Host : Father still livin' ?

Obu, pointing off screen : Yes, sir, he's right up there. (audience claps) Yeeaaa my pops yeeeaaaaaa

(Host walks towards the camera and camera flips back n forth to reveal Obu's dad, followed by more audience laughing n clapping)

Host : Yeeaaa yeaa that's who I'm lookin for! (laughter) What's your name, sir?

Obu's dad bellows with echoey sound : Oo~obuu~

(More audience laughter)

THIS EMOJI:

then a few weeks ago i desperately wanted a warm drink for my upset stomach but couldn't handle chocolate so i said, 'is it possible to just get steamed oatmilk? i'll pay full price for a latte or whatever drink if you don't have a way to charge it.'

and the barista was like, 'nah, we can do that, no problem' and charged me 0.50¢ for the steamed oatmilk which has me wondering how much chocolate syrup costs.

Their parents are leftists, open minded, pro LGBTQ+, learned to use the right pronouns (to their face at least) all that jazz.

Their Auntie grew up in a remote area, little old fashioned, doesn't really "get" the non binary thing, and hasn't quite got the hang of the singular 'they' yet. But she tries.

When my cousin got injured and couldn't drive their parents shrugged and told them to quit their job.

Their Auntie drove them to and from work every day until they got their cast off.

Which family member do you think they'll ask next time they need help?

This is because as a beginner, you have troubles because you don't have much knowledge.

But then you learn a bunch more, and now you've got the skills to do a bunch of stuff, so you run into a lot of problems because you're doing so much stuff, and only an expert could figure them out.

But then one day you are an expert. You can reprogram everything and build new hardware! You understand all the various layers of tech!

And your problems are now legendary. You are trying things no one else has ever tried. You Google them and get zero results, or at best one forum post from 1997. You discover bugs in the silicon of obscure processors. You crash your compiler. Your software gets cited in academic papers because you accidently discovered a new mathematical proof while trying to remote control a vibrator. You can't use the wifi on your main laptop because you wrote your own uefi implementation and Intel has a bug in their firmware that they haven't fixed yet, no matter how much you email them. You post on mastodon about your technical issue and the most common replies are names of psychiatric medications. You have written your own OS but there arent many programs for it because no one else understands how they have to write apps as a small federation of coroutine-based microservices. You ask for help and get Pagliacci'd, constantly.