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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
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Do yourselves a massive favor: practice asking for help BEFORE it's an emergency.
I am a social worker. I have worked in community mental health and in home-based healthcare. And it is much, much easier for me to help you when the situation you're in is not yet a full-blown crisis.
"I'm out of money and have been for a while and now I haven't eaten for three days." This is a crisis. A crisis where I'm likely going to have to put you in the car and take you to the nearest food bank--except food banks require appointments now, and the next opening is in four days, so you're staring down the barrel of a week with no food. That's obviously not going to work, so, let's call eight different food banks until we've found one that has an appointment the next day...except it's in the neighboring county and you can't drive. So now I'm calling your doctor to try and brow beat an emergency plan of care update out of him so I can come back the next day and drive you to the food bank. And we haven't even started on the "constantly broke" part of the problem.
"I don't think I have enough food to make it to my next paycheck. I have (xyz) in my house and that will only last until (date)." This is bad, but not a crisis. We have a few days. We make you an appointment at the food bank and contact your brother to make sure you have a ride there. Now we can spend our visit talking about what bills are causing you the most problems and make a jump on a long-term solution, like looping in a community action agency to cover your utilities and getting you an OTC card from Medicaid to cover some of your groceries every month.
"I'm ten months behind on rent, and my landlord said I have a week to get out, or the cops will throw me out. I don't have the money, and if I get evicted, I have nowhere to go." This is a crisis. Every single thing we do here is going to be some version of a Hail Mary. In Michigan, we have the state emergency relief fund for rent issues, but process time is well over one week. There are community action agencies that we can call to assist you with payment, but they are unlikely to have sufficient funds to cover nearly a year of back rent. We can contact legal aid clinics to try and prevent your landlord from evicting you, but they may look at your case and determine that too much "fault" lies with you. Most likely, I'm going to have to put you in touch with homeless shelters and the public housing office.
"I'm two months behind on rent and I don't think I'll be able to pay next month either." This is bad, but not a crisis. This is solvable. We have time to apply for SER, or put you in contact with community action agencies. We have time to review your finances and see if you qualify for a public housing wait list or other forms of ongoing rental assistance. We have time to talk about a million possible adjustments to try and ease the burden of your rent.
"I am the sole caregiver for my elderly parent who has dementia and is emotionally volatile and fully dependent on me. I have not slept through the night in weeks and I have not had an actual break for over a year. I am having screaming meltdowns multiple times a week and I am threatening self-harm unless someone comes to collect my parent and take over all caregiver duties." This is a crisis. This is a crisis where the ethical code of my profession demands that I call 911 and report the conversation to them. They will likely come to the house and interview you. If they determine your threats were serious, they will have you forcibly committed to a psych ward. Your parent will either be dumped into a random hospital or rehab center, or left in the house on their own. Upon release from your psych hold, you will be expected to resume caregiving duties as though nothing happened. Except, now, adult protective services is actively investigating you, because it was determined you may be an ongoing danger to your parent.
"I am the sole caregiver for my demented parent, and I have not had a break in a couple of weeks, and I feel angry and weepy most of the time." This is bad, but not a crisis. We can get you in touch with volunteer groups for respite, and apply for state funded programs to get more day-to-day help, and talk about long-term planning for when the dementia symptoms get worse. We can get you the phone numbers for crisis lines and enroll you in a support group.
Obviously, you can ask for help at any point. Don't use this an excuse to never ask for help. If you always wait until it's a crisis, fine, you have free will. But you are ALLOWED to ask for help BEFORE you're in a blind panic, and it is always easier to get help when you aren't screaming and sobbing because you think your life is over.
During a casual "Isobel is horribly underappreciated" chat, I was doing some fawning over just how impressive everything that Isobel does and quietly endures is (immediately after being pulled from the grave in a nightmare version of her own home! while everyone she ever knew and loved is either dead or an undead abomination, including, she fears, she herself!). I was reminded of the exchange with Jaheira if you find out the truth about Isobel's backstory, which ranks among my favourite little bits of writing and character moments in the game.
Player: I've been looking into Ketheric. I suspect Isobel might be his daughter.
Jaheira: Do you. Well, let us not leave you in suspense, then. You are right. She is.
Player: It's more than that. She was dead, and something brought her back.
Jaheira: Something malign? Or some blessing of Selûne, perhaps? I do not know what restored Isobel's life to her. But I can see what she is doing with it.
If she wished to see us drowned in darkness, Isobel needn't have lifted a finger. Instead, she holds out her hand.
I choose to take it. I choose to trust. And not just because I have no other choice.
When I find myself needing a reminder of just who Isobel Thorm is, I simply step outside and look up.
The dialogue flow features some more options:
Player: And you trust her? She's all that stands between us and the shadow curse.
Jaheira: Exactly the point, wouldn't you say?
Player: You already knew. Why didn't you tell me?
Jaheira: Because it isn't my tale to tell. And because, in truth, I do not know the half of it. Only this:
Which then converge into the part I adore that I quoted up top.
After this, there's a couple more responses with some gems:
Player: I'll need to speak to her myself.
Jaheira: If it will help. Only remember: I bear more blame for the shadow curse than Isobel does. And she can no more control her parentage than you can that thing in your head.
Player: I tried to talk to her about it. She won't tell me anything.
Jaheira: Perhaps she chooses to do, rather than say.
And the closing options, with some nice on-brand Jaheira:
Player: All right, then. Trust it is.
Jaheira: Then you're a stronger soul than I. I at least have had time to prepare that high-minded little speech.
Player: 'Trust'? You tried to kill me the first time we met.
Jaheira: And now we are the best of friends. You see? The power of trust.
Player: Not good enough.
Jaheira: Look around you. You shall have to learn to live with 'not good enough', I'm afraid.
Combining all of this with Isobel's sad little "Who would trust the next-of-kin of Ketheric Thorm?" a bit later on sure hurts!
But in conclusion, if anyone, including Isobel herself, starts piping up with some "sins of the father" type nonsense, Jaheira is putting a stop to that, and I love her for it.
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Not to be a nerd about costume design but I have so much to say about THIS sweater Simon wears in iron lung
I mentioned in the tags of this post about how I liked this shirt and used it as a basis for one of my ocs but the more I look at it the more I think it's masterful costume design at work and I just had to talk about it (long text post below the cut)
One of the first things about costume design (especially costume designs for film and 3-d modelling where they can be very complex and detailed) is it needs to visually inform the audience about the character (their social standing, financial situation, climate, ect.) and this singular item of clothing can tell you A LOT about simon
It has very obviously been repaired and stitched back together multiple times, there are obvious seams and holes around the fabric that makes it clear it was a rush job, this implies many things to me combined with the small bit of backstory we get about simon (others can probably pick up even more tbh costume design is all about interpretation) fabric is precious and getting new clothes is either rare/ not worth it so repairs are important (makes sense considering the quiet rapture and edens 'were all gonna die' mentality, why put in the labour to make new clothes when we're all going to die?) maybe Simon's been in a lot of fights/ combat situations as the cuts seem clean and straight through (due to the length of the shirt I don't imagine it's been cut at those angles after the damage has occured otherwise it would be much shorter) maybe Simon learnt basic sewing in Eden to repair his own garments instead of wasting time handing them to others explaining the rushed and raised look of the stitches (made for strength not appearance, the thread is even a different colour in some places) what I find most interesting is the black fabric around his upper arms and the square on his chest, the chest part specifically looks to be underneath the rest of the fabric as stitches go right through it without the square becoming warped around the stitching (this could also mean this repair is very new and was placed under the rest of the fabric for some reason, Simon has not yet been in a situation after this repair that would involve stitching around the square) what makes this so interesting to me is it looks purposely placed! The square is almost perfectly centered (if a little lopsided which would make sense if we're assuming Simon's sewing these himself) and the arm bands are at very similar spots on both arms but Eden doesn't exactly seem like a place that cares for patterns/ the appearance of clothing (again the 'were all going to die mentality' why put designs on clothes if we're all dying out?) the placement makes me think it's more sentimental to Simon specifically (perhaps the fabric came from the clothes of someone close to him (maybe his mother?) and after their death he sewed them in symbolic places (around his arms and in the center of his chest (kinda like a hug? Or just close to his heart in general) to remind grieve/ remind himself of them (maybe it could also be symbolic of Simon being chained by his guilt in a way the bands around his arms are incredibly straight and kinda look like restraints))
It almost looks too big for him? The shirt covers his hands (and looks even longer at the beginning of the film when he has his gloves on too) and while the bottom of the shirt is curled it also looks really long this implies some things for me, maybe this shirt belonged to someone else (or multiple someone else's) and Eden is recycling item of clothing after people die (probs to feed the tree, before turning the bodies to mulch their clothing is taken and distributed to preserve the fabric? The hole near the neckline almost makes it look like it's been stretched out which makes me think multiple people have worn it) or maybe Simon made this shirt himself and stitched it together to purposefully be longer so when he stitches it up he doesn't have to waste fabric to make it fit him? (Eg: if his shirt rips in the middle and has to stitch it back up it's long enough to not become a crop top after a few repairs) Which would make sense given it fits Simon's chest and upper arms fairly snug but is overly long in the lower arms and bottom hem (which side note the bottom doesn't look to be hemmed to me? That looks like a raw edge imo which also makes sense if Simon's sewing this himself)
The sweater looks like the scratchiest thing in the galaxy the wool looks itchy and gross the threads you see in the holes of the sweater look thready and coarse which could lead back to the 'fabric is important and recycled for multiple people' thing, comfort isn't a main priority people just need to be warm and covered from the elements, but this also could be a more symbolic thing, as we see in the scene when Simon takes of his shirt that sweater is directly against his skin (well besides his little harness but I'm going to talk about that more in my next point) which seems really uncomfy to me, if the shirts as scratchy as it looks I imagine that is NOT comfortable to be directly against your skin which could be symbolism for guilt of some description (self punishment, why should I feel comfortable when I've hurt so many others? Why do I deserve comfort?) while also being another way to show how limited Simon's clothing choices are, most people would wear an undershirt for sweaters in general (especially if it's cold) but Simon's not which could say he doesn't have access to an undershirt
What makes all of this extra interesting is when you compare all these factors to Ava's character design
Ava's clothing is dirty yes but there's no obvious seams and holes like Simon's clothes, she is also very covered up (implying to me that it is quite cold outside the iron lung and Simon just doesn't have access to warmer clothing) another thing about Ava is she has more conventional accessories, compare her ring and belt loop (chain??) thing she has on her left side to Simon's bracelet
For the life of me I cannot find a picture of Simon putting the bracket on but I remember it being like frayed cord which is the important part
While Ava's accessories look well made and purposeful (the ring looks like silver or metal and seems extremely well taken care of and shiny) Simon's accessories look like things he's picked up over the years (his headband looks like scrap fabric or maybe gauze? (Which I could talk more about because I wonder about it's purpose? It doesn't keep his hair out of his eyes at all which implies to me is sentimental or symbolic in some way) His gloves seem more practical than fashionable and his bracket is something he found in the iron lung itself) this tells us a lot about their differences both in social standing and in philosophy, Ava is able to afford/ keep and tend to seemingly rare items like rings and keychains while the rest of her outfit is covered in dirt and grime, it shows her social status above the other characters while keeping her in the same grimy and dirty universe, contrastingly Simon's accessories are dirty and seem like found objects, his headband is grimy his clothes are full of holes, this alone tells us so much about Simon and Ava and how they interact with their post apocalyptic world
Another thing is layers, both Simon and Ava have multiple layers on (which yes could imply the climate but) when compared to welder jack seems incongruous as a welder jack should be wearing the most layers out of any of the characters shown but from bts shots we know he's not even wearing gloves which made me think the layers are a symbolic character choice rather than a practical climate choice, Ava and Simon are the main characters, they both have extremely mysterious pasts and both seem to have a complex relationship to loss and grief (Simon grieves over the mere concept of someone else being trapped in his situation and seems genuinely upset by hurting jack, at the end of the film we learn that Ava was stuck on the SM-8 and herself has experienced the blood ocean and lost someone to it) while jack is more so set dressing to the story, he is a named character with one line who serves the purpose to show how Simon's fear and rashness and Ava's one tracked mind and lack of care for others hurts people around them, if Ava had told Simon that the camera was an x-ray he likely wouldn't have tried to use it to get their attention, if Simon hadn't used the camera neither Ava or jack would have gotten hurt, jack is set dressing to show how both Simon and Ava are harming people around them as well as themselves
What makes these clothing layers extra interesting is how Simons changes, throughout the movie Simon takes layers off becoming more vulnerable physically as he becomes more emotionally vulnerable, throughout the movie Simon reveals parts of himself to the audience, we see him grieve and cry and get angry but we still don't know who Simon is by the end of it (we don't know if he did blow up filliment station, we don't know how he got the nickname 'the butcher', we don't know his relationship to his mother ect.) which I think is symbolized by Simon wearing a harness under his shirt. When Simon takes his shirt off to clean his wounds we see he's wearing a harness underneath his shirt I believe this is a symbolic way to show the audience how Simon hasn't shown all of himself to the audience, in a way Simon is still mysterious and unknown so we don't see his bare chest, we see a harness instead
Comparing this to Ava who we never see vulnerable, Ava is constantly in charge she is above Simon in everyway so when Simon has shed his layers and reveals himself to the audience Ava remains strong and mysterious just like she is in the writing, the most we learn about Ava is from the SM-8s audio logs informing us that Ava has been to the blood ocean and lost someone close to her in it giving us some understanding for her motives but not fully illuminating them (was Ellie a friend? Lover? Sibling? Did Ava see Ellie die? Or did she manage to get saved from he SM-8 before she could confirm whether Ellie was able to be saved? Is that why she's doing this? Does she want the confirmation whether she killed Ellie somehow?) we don't know fully what happened which is reflected in Ava's character design, Avas outer layer is white (strangely similar to Simon's hood thing?) with a military like jacket and a black underlayer just colour wise this tells us a lot about Ava, maybe she's pretending to be good and kind (white) but secretly has alterior motives (black underlayer)? Maybe she is a good person with a dark secret? We don't know the true answer to Avas motives and personality which is one of the most fascinating parts of her the few vulnerable scenes we get of Ava is in the last half of the movie when Ava tries to save Simon and (I think crucial to this) we don't see Ava at all, which does make sense given the story and how it is shot but also makes Ava all the more interesting, we don't see the emotions on her face we don't see how she dressed in that moment all we hear is her voice as Simon claws his way to salvation and I find that fascinating
I could go on more about scenes I love (specifically the one where the guy tries to convince Ava not to go retrieve Simon bc it's too dangerous bc considering he says 'jack can't even stand' I assume that Ava's not in the best shape rn, if jack can't even stand because of the radiation I imagine Ava isn't doing to well either, maybe she was so vulnerable with Simon at the end of the film because she was dying?) and about some other character design stuff like Ava's scar (which I always found so interesting bc it's on her right side and when Simon is dying at the end of the movie he also gets a pretty nasty wound to his left side, seems connected to me) but I've yapped long enough (anddd had to rewrite this whole thing bc Tumblr decided to eat all my text >:\) but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there
I'm still processing Iron Lung as a whole but now that I think about it more that moment where Ava and Simon reveal their names to each other is just. So damn good and beautiful.
The movie is just so miserably (emotionally) for everyone involved. Ava is cold, she's solely focused on trying to survive, picking and choosing the calculated risks that need to be made towards that goal. Every person is a resource, one that is limited and dwindling. She doesn't, and shouldn't, in this situation, care who "the Convict" is, especially not this one, after what he did. There is no reason to know his name, no reason to see a person in what is essentially just their living camera. Simon is barely meant to be a person now, a Convict first, a "Butcher" second. He would be as abandoned in a prison cell as he is in the SM-13. Conceptually, the two are the same place. He is a living tool waiting to die, even if told otherwise.
Everybody suffers, whether they're in the blood ocean or not. In a way, all the people in the Consolidation may be no different from Simon himself, just floating around in a metal vessel waiting to die at the hands of some greater force that dwarfs them all, one that is beyond their comprehension. In the face of that, can one's own name even matter? What worth is offering humanity when everyone needs to fight tooth and nail just for the hope to live? Everyone is, I'm sure, going through the same slow descent into hopeless madness that Simon is, just at different rates, and with the way things are currently it's warranted. It may even be inevitable.
But in the midst of all that madness, there's just a moment of something slower, gentler. It's sympathy, maybe, or some form of understanding.
You hear Ava falter when Simon expresses how much of nothing he's become ("You sent me down here to die and you don't even know my name?"). In the face of the Quiet Rapture, or even the monster on AT-5, everyone's a nobody. They either become part of the void or another faceless echo in the cacophony that lives in the blood ocean. But then, out of her own volition, Ava offers her own name, a subtle invitation for Simon to offer his back. In that moment, they exist as people again. Yes, it's still under the guise of what is ultimately a bargain and an act of mutual benefit, but that specific action of offering one's name, especially from Ava specifically, is one done out of real sincerity. A brief flicker of humanity in a world where all it has left to do is die.
That entire part of their exchange is 20 seconds long in a 2 hour film. It's quiet. It's a giving of pause, a reprieve, in a scene that builds up anticipation and stress. Simon and Ava don't even see each other in that moment. For all Simon, or Ava, or, hell, even the viewer knows, the voice on the other end might not even be real. Another hallucination, a trick in the systems. In the grand scheme of things, it's a 20 seconds wasted. Time is of the absolute essence with this new objective, and just because Simon's miraculously alive now doesn't mean he couldn't run out of oxygen, or the ship couldn't suddenly crumble under pressure, or some unknown entity couldn't make the line go dead once more. But the moment is still afforded time, and therefore afforded importance. It's a moment savored (and therefore imo wonderfully paced).
It doesn't matter, ultimately, that Ava and Simon learn each others names. They really are wiped out like they are nothing, just like the stars, just like the rest of the world, specks of dirt, a blip on the radar that fades away without anyone around to hear its final sound. But for that moment, they got to be people. They got to be more than the clawing instinct for survival, the descent into madness, more than the incomprehensible rapture or whatever higher beings may or may not be up there, in their own way. They just got to be people, seeing eye to eye, with names and faces and feelings and pauses that mattered more than the constant forward momentum of trying to stay alive, just for 20 seconds.
In the end, "It's more than me. It's more than you." but, for just a moment, existing as just "me" and "you" was enough.
no plot only vibes @aconfusedkitten - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook