VesicaPiscisFatuous

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

That bird is in cahoots with Feathers McGraw and you can't tell me otherwise

Had a dream there was this “goth diner” and all the food was like inedibly heavy and greasy and kinda disgusting, but Angel and I were looking through the menu and they had their list of burgers and each was named after a different musician, it was like “the Robert Smith” “the Carl McCoy” “the Andrew Eldritch” (I tried to ask what was on that one and they said it was only for the kids menu and wouldn’t tell me), then there was one called “the Nivek Ogre” and I asked what was in it. The menu didn’t have any info about any of them just their names. And they brought the chef out and he showed me that it was just a crispy chicken sandwich with a fried egg, but on top there was melted cheese and then a layer of real dollar bills melted over it, and it was wrapped up in barbed wire, so to get to the burger you had to rip through dollar bills and barbed wire to eat it. 😭

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you