doe-eyed and aggressive

Women who suffer bad cramps are told cramps shouldn't affect school/work/etc, but no one ever investigates further because no one can possibly know if what someone experiences is just typical pain or something much worse.

Well after 15 years of stage 4 treatment-resistant endometriosis that came with pain as bad as, if not worse than, actual labor contractions every month, all the while being told I was 'typical' and 'just had bad cramps', I've finally been healed (another post for another time). I have had what everyone describes as the elusive 'normal period pain' for several months now, and I am begging you to look me in the eyes and listen because I need everyone who can hear this to hear this.

I have been on both sides of this. I have the hard-earned knowledge of what a period 'should' feel like.

If you have to put in any effort to hide your cramps, you need to get help.

Even during of the PEAK OF CRAMPING (i.e., as bad as your cramps possibly get), you should still be able to stand, speak, walk, eat, work, and sleep with no problems. These tasks should require very-little-to-no extra effort beyond what you would normally do when you aren't on your period. When you do these things, you should feel grumpy and a little bit icky and maybe a twinge of nerves and NOTHING MORE.

If you have to sit in the corner and hope no one approaches you because you can't speak or stand without showing pain, even slightly, you need to get help. If your pain is showing on your face, you need to get help. And most importantly, IF YOUR PAIN DOES NOT RESPOND TO 1-2 TYLENOL OR IBUPROFEN, YOU NEED TO GET HELP.

Your period cramps should make you grumpy. Your period cramps should make you feel a little icky and tired. Your period cramps should make you feel your insides existing/moving a bit and a twinge of nerves that makes you groan slightly then the "pain" should stop there, NOTHING MORE.

If your cramps put you on the floor but you make believe you're the captain of a ship who has just been stabbed and has to hide it to fight on, and you force yourself to power through the day, please understand: you are not okay, that does not make you okay. Just because you can power through the pain doesn't mean you aren't sick. If you have to force yourself through any basic task beyond the effort it takes you to do when you aren't on your period, and I am holding your face and looking you in the eye as I say this because I need you to hear me: You aren't normal. You don't 'just have bad cramps'. You are sick and you need to get help.

Now most people will tell you if your cramps are beyond a 3 out of 10 on the pain scale, you should see a doctor. While this is usually true, you have to consider chronic pain CAN AND WILL BREAK YOUR PAIN SCALE. Most people will only compare pain they currently feel to pain they may experience one day but probably never will. "Sure these cramps feel bad now, but if I had a leg amputated with no anesthesia, that would hurt WAY worse, so this pain can't be that bad-" No. Your pain is what it is, objectively, full stop. My cramps were at a 10 out of 10 every. Single. Time. And nobody told me claiming they were a 6-8 because I thought to myself 'what if I lose a limb one day?' was completely wrong. 10 pain is 10 pain. And if there's something that hurts worse than that, guess what. The thing you are experiencing right now is still a 10 out of 10 on the pain scale. Just because you experience it every month doesn't mean it's magically not as bad is it is. And if your pain is worse than a 3 out of 10, you need to get help.

Now when I say get help, I mean find the root cause of your pain. You can't just throw drugs and hormones at it without knowing what it causing your pain. Endometriosis, fibroids, pcos, cancer, adenomyosis, polyps, thyroid issues, there is always a cause. And if you leave it untreated, it will grow and get worse to the point where it resists treatment and the drugs and hormones you've been throwing at it for years don't work anymore. You have to find a doctor that will investigate. If your doctor tells you you 'just have bad cramps' get a new doctor. I know you've been told that but please hear me: no one ever just has bad cramps. A healthy human body doesn't spontaneously cause itself pain so bad you can't stand up; there is ALWAYS a cause.

I was sick for more than 15 years. My entire life was put on hold and now I'm in my late 20s trying desperately to play catch up for everything I missed. I want to pick up 12yo me, spin her around, and tell her she doesn't have to die before she finally stops hurting. I don't want anyone to suffer the same fate I did simply because everyone told them they were normal. A little twinge of pain here and there is normal, suffering is not. I promise you your pain is real, it is not normal, and dear heavenly day I am begging you you need to get help now.

When a child would be born it’s biological sex, being an actual physical reality, would be noticed but not a single assumption regarding the child’s personality would be made based on it.

Growing up, children would be free to chose what toys and clothes they prefer. If they want to play with toy trucks or dolls, it would be fine either way. If they want to dress comfortably or in frilly colorful dresses, it would be fine.

Certain personality traits would not be encouraged in members of one sex and discouraged in the other. Females would be free to be strong, brave and assertive and males would not be shamed for being shy and soft spoken.

No female child would be called a tomboy and no male child would be called a sissy. No kid would ever be bullied for what we in our gendered world call “gender expression”.

When children would reach puberty they would still be free to dress how they want. Females would not be pressured to wear clothes that reveal their bodies and males would not be shamed if they chose to. Everybody would have a free choice of accessories, which would not be categorized as “men’s” or “women’s” but people could should whichever they liked. Or chose to not wear accessories at all if that’s what they are more comfortable with.

Females would not be pressured to keep their bodies slim, soft and hairless. Males would not be pressured to be athletic and muscular. Expectations of femininity and masculinity upon the body would not exist and affect negatively people’s relationship with their own body.

Everyone could choose a career without fearing stigmatization within that particular field because of their biological sex. The most important thing would be competence and not what someone has between their legs.

Domestic work would not be considered “women’s work” and would be shared equally between the sexes.

Biological sex would only be thought about when relevant. And everyone would be free to be themselves without ever having to worry about gender expectations. Nobody would feel the need to repress certain parts of their personality and exaggerate others in order to fit into some gender role that is being forced on them.

Gender abolitionism is not about restricting people’s choices but about giving them greater freedom.

Some of this sounds great. Don’t force certain personality or behavior on kids. Don’t pressure people to maintain a specific physique.

Some of it sounds like absolute hell. I cope with my gender dysphoria by doing things that are generally considered feminine. I want to dress a certain way because that style of dress is feminine. I use GENDER EXPRESSION to EXPRESS my GENDER, because if I don’t - or in this supposedly perfect world -  I CAN’T, then my dysphoria goes off the wall with no gender euphoria to offset it.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having gender tied to certain elements of self-expression. The problem is not that male and female things exist - it’s that current social norms enforce those concepts too strictly. Men can enjoy feminine things; that certainly does not mean the PERSON is feminine, but the THING he enjoys can still be considered as such.

Gender “norms” allow people to identify ourselves and each other. My entire life revolves around this. My happiness revolves around identifying myself as woman, and part of that includes having others also identify me as a woman. In a world where gender and gender norms do not exist, my identity and sense of self also cease to exist.

We are not stopping you from being who you want to be; you are stopping us from dismantling our sex-based oppression.

If the goal of trans and non binary people is to maintain gender and therefore female oppression and male supremacy, just so that their identities are validated, then they are choosing to stand directly in the way of feminist goals and female liberation from sex based oppression.

If MY chains must remain in place so that your self expression can be “validated,” then YOU are standing in the way of my liberation.

Gender, the idea that there are things that are masculine and things that are feminine, is just another way of saying sex stereotypes. Sex stereotypes exist to reinforce male supremacy and female subordination.

There is literally no reason other than reinforcing oppression to associate stereotypes with either sex. The concepts of masculinity and femininity were only invented to serve the purpose of reinforcing male supremacy and reinforcing female subordination. These stereotypes are harmful to those who fit decently within them and even more to those who don’t (which includes trans people, among others).

If there is a group of trans activists that is claiming that dismantling these sex stereotypes is harmful to them because then they won’t be able to use the markers of sex stereotypes to demonstrate their gender identity, then they are in fact reinforcing those stereotypes and therefore reinforcing male supremacy and female subordination. 

This is anti feminist and actively works against female liberation and the liberation of all people from oppressive sex stereotypes.

Everyone enjoying freedom and humanity would destroy sex stereotypes and therefore the entire structure of trans identities.

this is so fascinating to me. he admits his life revolves around gender stereotypes and that his happiness depends on other people playing along.

few illustrations under the cut ⬇️ obviously depicts female nudity

This is a painful reminder of the buffalo slaughter of the 1800s, when white colonizers tried to kill off all of the buffalo just to keep native American people from having resources.

Colonizers commit mass killing/full exterminations of native wildlife to further the genocide of native peoples and make way for the exploitation and abuse of imported farmed animals, which is further damaging to the environment and human health in general. It happens in every colonized area, from the bison in the US to the eels in Aotearoa.

People can fight these bills all they want, but they're going to keep coming if we continue to shill for and pay the companies that fund them. Stop giving them money if you can avoid it.

The mass killing of bison matters because it's used to harm native people.

It matters because bison are living creatures that feel emotions and pain and don't deserve to be killed.

It matters because the cattle that will be grazed on that land don't deserve to be exploited and killed for money, for a burger.