WAR MACHINE ROX

wanting and not wanting at the same time

in fact i think a lot of aro-ace people really hate that part of themselves, hide it, and struggle for a long time to ‘accept’ who they are and feel any sense of ‘pride’. that’s the feeling i wanted to capture here. the disappointment, the loneliness, upon realising that you can’t feel what is such a wonderful thing. the embarrassment of not being ‘normal’, of being some random sexuality that nobody irl has heard of, and letting down those around you because you can’t be who they want you to be. how desperately you want to change, how desperately you want to feel. but you just can’t.

i know not all aro-ace people feel like this. i know lots of aro and/or ace people feel able to be in relationships, to feel closeness and have partners in other ways. but i think it’s important to be aware that some aro-ace people do feel like this.

the comments on this comic have mostly been great but a few have been very frustrating. a comment it got a lot was along the lines of ‘aw!! you don’t need to have sex to be in a relationship!’. you completely missed the point, hah. this is not a comic about sex. it’s about a lack of feeling, the lack of something beautiful other people seem to have. another comment that popped up a few times was ‘maybe she’s a lesbian’. well maybe lesbians and aro/ace girls have more in common than people think - maybe they both often struggle to accept that they feel no attraction to men, even though society has conditioned them to do so, sometimes spending years trying to force themselves to like men in that way, when they just can’t.

this comic is called ‘wanting and not wanting at the same time’ because she wants to love. but when it comes down to the reality, she can’t fulfil the requirements of that. she wants to love someone forever, to get married and have children and grow old with her soulmate, but she doesn’t want it with this person. or that person. or anyone she meets or will ever meet. a sort of catch 22, i guess.

Pedophiles are not LGBT, no adult engaging in a sexual relationship with a minor gets to call themselves LGBT and if you think they do fucking block me and throw yourself into the sun

TERF rhetoric is toxic and stupid and no one needs your transphobic ass any time of the year, much less the time of year when trans people should be taking pride in their identities (which is also year round) 

It is not, under any circumstances, okay to “out” someone. I don’t care if you think your intentions are good. this can destroy someone’s life. A young person could end up homeless. Or dead.

POC belong at PRIDE just as much as everyone else (we would not have this without black trans women, show some respect)

You don’t know if the “apparently straight” couple who you see at PRIDE is composed of two straight people - one could be bisexual, one could be asexual, both could be, I mean, like, don’t be that person

Or they could be there to support someone who might’ve otherwise been alone, like, just, don’t be that person who polices sexualities and shit okay

Bisexuality, pansexuality, and polysexuality all exist and deserve to be respected

seriously it’s completely possible to be attracted to two or more genders or be attracted regardless of gender and our identities don’t hurt anyone 

Just because you are LGBTQIA+ doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of being an asshole, and if you use “I’m gay!” as an excuse you need to grow up (this applies year round)

Asexuals and aromantics belong at PRIDE just as much as any other LGBTQIA+ individual, I really don’t care how many letters are in the “alphabet soup”, you have a valid identity 

polyamory is when three or more people engage in a consensual relationship, not when one person is with someone else behind their partner’s back 

polyamory is not superior to monogamy or vice versa 

buying PRIDE gear for your sexuality/gender doesn’t mean you’re selling out or giving into capitalism, if it makes you happy do it and don’t let people shame you for it

and honestly like isn’t it good for it to be normalized? I am all for Target having a PRIDE section, that’s amazing

Not everyone is okay with using the word or calling themselves “queer”, if they’re not okay with it don’t call them that 

bisexuality is not transphobic and pansexuality is not biphobic 

stay safe at PRIDE - don’t accept open drinks from strangers, ever, no matter what, people can be awful anywhere you go, just stay safe 

you don’t have to come out just because it’s PRIDE month, if it isn’t safe for you (i.e. you’ll be on the streets, homeless, etc) don’t pressure yourself 

Please take the time to support, uplift and remember your Native, First Nations, Aboriginal and otherwise Indigenous friends and family. We are here, we exist! We have a long and winding history that deserves to be heard and respected! The word ‘Indigenous’ is so wonderful, and so expansive, and includes so many different cultures under its arms. Go out, learn about our histories and our cultures. Talk to the Indigenous people around you! We’re everywhere!

And not only that, but also be sure to give extra support to LGBT indigenous voices in this community. We are a minority that is scarcely acknowledged, and in desperate need of it. Too many times have I gotten strange looks for being so openly Native and so openly a lesbian. It’s as if that combination is impossible for people to understand. Support our content, buy from our stores! Or at least just include us!