Legit

Thank you darling!

I was hoping I could post it soon, because I was originally gonna work fewer hours this week leading up to Christmas and have more time on my hands, but...

Everything is so chaotic, traffic and work and I always end up coming home late.

So I'm a little behind, but I stand by my promise to post till Christmas

Warnings: None

~*~

It’s quiet in the room, no hum, no buzz. Much too quiet for a music studio that should be filled with sound and song. It’s been like that for months. Quiet. It’s tidy, clean. The room almost feels like it was abandoned, eerily empty, if it weren’t for the dark haired young man sitting in front of the silent piano. But he too is quiet and still. He doesn’t move, sitting straight, hands folded in his lap, staring blankly ahead. He’s been sitting and staring for a long time, hours maybe. He’s looking down at the neat piano keys, but he doesn’t see them. He doesn’t see anything, caught inside his own head.

It’s been like that for days, weeks, months. But it’s worse today.

Atop the piano lies a sheet of paper, inconspicuous and yet out of place. Sheet music is what one would expect to find on top of a piano, but the paper is covered in small letters with an officially looking logo in the right corner. It’s an important document. At least it could be. Or it could not.

The young man finally moves. He raises a hand and places it gently on the white keys. It’s the kind of mellow motion one would expect from a pianist. The movement follows sound. A high noted lonely ‘Ping’ that’s too loud for the quiet. Then a second and a third. Then it dies. The slack hand falls back onto it’s owner’s leg.

Youngjae sighs, his shoulders sag. They feel stiff and he stretches wide and heavily, as if he hadn’t just wasted another day of his life. Then he carefully places the cover back down over the keys and rises to his feet. He stares down at the paper, shakes his head to himself and turns away. But just as he is about to take his first step towards the door, he quickly turns back and snatches the sheet off the piano, taking it with him when he leaves.

He keeps the papers by his side. While he cooks and has dinner, while he does the dishes and vacuums the dog hair from the sofa and while he watches Coco immediately jump up and spread her white fuzz all over the cushions again. From time to time he eyes the document, but each and every time he pulls his gaze away and tells himself to focus.

Still, it’s right there on top of the coffee table when Youngjae snuggles into his comfort blanket on the sofa, Coco on his chest and his favorite Drama playing on the screen. His time is running out, he knows that. He only has so many days before he will have to face reality, harsh and unapologetic. He hadn’t spent much time dwelling on what would happen. He’d played with the idea, entertained the thought, but he never thought it through to the end.

The universe is not playing in his favor today. When the drama goes into a commercial break and Youngjae just returns from the kitchen with a snack, he witnesses an ad crossing over the screen, underlined by a soft music piece. Just the tune alone speaks of longing, fantasy and a beautiful future. Youngjae heard this song many times and he loves it and hates it just the same. An artistically drawn cartoon plays, a sleeping piglet over whose head sits a dream bubble filled with colors and rainbows. The piglet opens its eyes and stands up on the bed, reaching its tiny arms up and catching the bubble in mid air. Then it pulls itself up and climbs inside.

Even 10 seconds later Youngjae can’t tell what the commercial was for, all that’s burned into his mind is the sentence showing up on the screen. “Chase your dreams.”

Youngjae walks over to the coffee table, grabs the stack of papers and throws them all into the paper bin.

“Morning Sunshine.” Youngjae is greeted right as he presses the elevator button. He doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is, but he does anyways. He plasters a happy smile on his face before he does and greets back. “Good morning, Hyung.” Jaebum pats his shoulder when he approaches and plants himself along before the elevator doors. For some reason Youngjae clutches his bag a little closer to his body. It’s stupid, but he feels like he’s carrying a big secret that is about to spill. In the morning, right after he climbed out of bed, sleep-ridden and in his pajamas, he walked back to the bin and fished the papers out. He couldn’t bear leaving to work without them.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Jaebum notices with a curious glance and Youngjae shrugs, not in the mood to tell him wrong. The elevator arrives with a ‘pling’ and they get on, just them two. Youngjae likes being around Jaebum, but being alone with him, in such an enclosed space nonetheless makes him nervous. The female staff blush and giggle when talking to him and Youngjae would too, if he didn’t know how inappropriate that would be for him to do. If girls do it it’s cute, if he did it it’s gross. No, thank you.

“How’s that song coming along?” Jaebum inquires cheerfully, oblivious of Youngjae’s tight chest and throat. His mood, already at ground level falls through the elevator floor all the way down into the underground parking lot, smashing into the concrete. “Not bad.” He lies and Jaebum hears it. He’s smart, attractive talented, but also extremely sensitive and good with people. If he’d joined the company when he was younger, they surely would have debuted him as an idol. He’d have made all of Korea fall for him.

“Still in a slump, huh?” Jaebum slings an arm around his shoulder and presses him to his side. “Don’t worry.” He goes on. “You have the skills and it’ll pass. You can do it.” It’s just then that the elevator arrives at their floor and Youngjae has the chance to hastily excuse himself, shaking off the prodding arm and prodding questions so that he doesn’t have to think about whether he’s grateful for the nice words or throw up over what’s underneath.

Youngjae listens to a bit of scolding, scribbles down a few notes and overall does pretty much nothing. When his mind rests for too long, a little piglet climbs inside his brain, telling him to follow his dreams and he reaches for his bag and takes out the paper. “This is my dream.” He says and he has to say it out loud, because if he kept it inside his head it wouldn’t convince him.

It is his dream, he knows when he looks around the company. The people, the equipment. The studios, the music. Being a songwriter IS a dreamjob. He was so lucky to end up here. All the opportunities, the creativity, the skills and knowledge. The chances, the music, the art.

“Wanna grab lunch?” Youngjae startles when Jaebum’s head pops through a crack in the door. He hadn’t realized how the time passed. He decides to just nod and only when Jaebum steps closer and curiously looks down at the table asking. “What’s that?” Youngjae realizes with a shock that he still has the papers lying there, out in the open. He hastily grabs them and stuffs them into his bag. “Nothing.” He gasps and slings his bag over his shoulder. “Let’s go.”

Jaebum’s eyes narrow slightly, but he lets it slide. Youngjae gets on the elevator first and reaches out to press the button when Jaebum’s hand springs out of nowhere and grabs his wrist. Then he pushes him aside and presses the button for the ground floor. Youngjae frowns. “That’s not where the canteen is.” Jaebum beams. “Let’s go to the Italian place across the street.” He says. “I want lasagna.” Youngjae’s stomach feels fuzzy, but he shrugs it off.

“So, how’s that song coming along?” Jaebum asks once the waiter leaves with his order of lasagna and seafood-spaghetti. “You asked that.” Youngjae reminds him and avoids his eyes, letting his gaze wander around the dining area. It’s full, but the tables are nicely scattered so it doesn’t get too noisy. Jaebum props his chin onto his palm, elbow on the table and blinks at him. “And I’m asking again.” Youngjae’s eyes fleetingly flicker back to him. “Did someone put you up on my tail?” He asks, scrunching his nose as it tickles with the scent of herbs in the air.

“Yes.” Jaebum admits unabashed. “But that’s not why I’m asking.” Now Youngjae does look at him fully. “Then why?” He squints. Jaebum doesn’t show any signs of apology. “Because I want to know. You’re evasive and discouraged and you didn’t use to be like that.” It’s hard not to slump at the words. It’s true, Youngjae knows that. He used to be different, he used to be cheerful and laughing, the nickname ‘Sunshine’ coming from somewhere. “Follow your dreams!” The piglet screeches. Jaebum’s head tilts on his palm. “You used to have so much creativity and inspiration. And enthusiasm to be a producer.”

Youngjae presses his lips together. “People just have that sometimes.” He diverts. “Everybody goes through times like these, even you!” It’s half the truth. Jaebum is the most respected songwriter and producer in the company and even he had periods where he lacked output. But it surely never lasted as long as it does for Youngjae now. He shrugs unimpressed. “I’m thinking you could do better.” Youngjae’s anxiety slowly but surely tips over into anger. “Not helping.” He hisses. Jaebum finally sits back up properly, taking his arm off the table. “I know you did better when you were under less pressure.” He says casually. “But that’s how it is. There is pressure and it’s not going to go away because you want it to. If you want to be a music producer, you better get used to it.”

Youngjae isn’t used to hearing harsh words from Jaebum. Or, from anyone for that matter. He’s used to being encouraged. To hearing that he can do it, that he will achieve what he wants if he works hard. If there’s one thing people love to say, it’s that one fateful sentence. “Never give up.” The piglet taunts him and they’re quiet until the food arrives. Then Jaebum changes the topic and chatters away about miniscule things, leaving Youngjae confused and alone with his thoughts.

He mumbles a ‘Bye’ and walks off to the left once they’re back on their floor, knowing that Jaebum has to go right, but his sleeve is caught in the other’s grip and he turns back. “You know, Youngjae-ah.” Jaebum says, voice much softer than it’s been today. “I am a 100% honest when I say I know you can do better.” He pulls him a little closer in, face serious. “But that doesn’t mean you have to. Sometimes it’s just worth learning that, hypothetically, you’re not made to be creative under pressure.” Then he lets loose of his sleeve and steps away, leaving him dumbfounded in the hallway, mind tumbling over.

Youngjae pulls the stack of paper from his bag once he’s alone and places it on the desk. He flips through the pages slowly, one by one until he reaches the last. Then he takes a pen, hovering it above the straight black line on the bottom of the page. He takes one last deep breath and scribbles his name.

Everything after that happens in a dazed rush. He seals the sheets in an envelope and drops it in the mailbox. He walks into his bosses office with a hammering heart and when he emerges, he feels like he lost 50 kilos.

It takes some time, but not a lot and eventually it sickers through. He hears whispers, but ignores them. Then, one day Jackson is at the company and he’s not only their most popular artist, but also their noisiest one and he jumps on Youngjae’s back and whines. “You’re leaving usssss?” Mark, Jackson’s manager sighs exasperated and pulls his protégé off Youngjae’s body, setting him back to the ground. Youngjae likes them both and he’ll miss them. “Yeah.” He nods shyly. “But whhyyyy?!” Jackson wails, ignoring Mark who tries to shush him.

Youngjae breathes deeply. He hasn’t had to do this yet, hasn’t told anyone directly. “I found a different job.” He states and cracks a smile unwillingly. “That I really wanna do.” Jackson isn’t happy. “Who stole you?! YG?” He takes a ‘ready-to-fight’ – posture that makes Youngjae laugh. “No.” He shakes his head. “Nothing like that. I’m gonna be in the marketing department of a video game company.” It feels good to say. Jackson’s eyes grow large. “But you said writing music was your dream!” He cries. Youngjae is aware that more people are listening in and he finds he doesn’t mind.

“I think.” He says. “I’m better off keeping music as a hobby. And you know I love video games.” Jackson complains, but Youngjae sees Marks face twist into a soft smile. “Good for you.” He says, gentle voice the polar opposite to Jackson’s noisy one. Youngjae nods. “Thanks.”

„Is that really your choice?“ Youngjae halts in mid-air, halfway to stuffing a notebook into a box. Jaebum faked oblivious for the time being and now Youngjae‘s departure is official rather than „official“. He looks up, letting the notebook clumsily fall onto his other things. He nods, but doesn’t manage to squeeze out a word. Jaebum raises a disbelieving eyebrow. “’m sorry.” Youngjae mumbles, even though he’s not sure he knows what he’s apologizing for.

Jaebum steps closer. “What about your dream?” The scoff escapes Youngjae involuntarily. He means to take it back but Jaebum’s eyes sparkle and he smiles. Youngjae’s heart leaps and his throat closes up. Jaebum is really getting close. “Are you sure you made the right decision?” He asks, very quietly. Youngjae stares back at him. He wants to say yes, because that’s the whole point, but it won’t come out. Finally, after a long while he shakes his head. Jaebum’s smile stays perfectly in place.

“No.” It gives Youngjae the courage to say. “I’m not sure. I don’t know.” He stems his arms into his side a little childish. “But I’m tired of my dream.”

The piglet plops out of it’s dream bubble and climbs back down into it’s bed. The sun rises and it yawns when it awakes. Happily.

Jaebum moves in and wraps his arms around Youngjae’s body. His lips are right next to Youngjae’s ear when he whispers. “I’m glad you’re honest with yourself now.” It has him shiver, for a multitude of reasons and he hugs Jaebum back tightly. “Thank you so much.” He gives back, something sweet blooming in his chest. He half expects Jaebum to taunt him, teasingly ask ‘What for?’ but he doesn’t. He squeezes him once more, then backs away, though still holding onto Youngjae’s elbows. “I really hope you find your happiness.” He says with the utmost honesty. “But I’ll miss you.”

The happy feeling inside him receives a crack. Youngjae will miss him, too. They’re close, but it would be far-fetched to even call them friends. They never even met once outside of work and while they worked together a few times, including a fairytale-like tune that was sold as a jingle for a TV commercial and while they shared phone-numbers, they barely know anything about each other’s lives.

“Youngjae.” Jaebum says and he sounds a little breathless. “We’re not coworkers anymore now.” He pronounces it like a fact, not a question, but Youngjae still nods. “So the company rules… don’t apply any longer.” Youngjae frowns. Rules? He means to express his confusion, but he doesn’t get the chance. In a rash, hardly comprehensible motion he rushes in and their lips collide in the briefest of kisses. Youngjae’s heart explodes and when Jaebum is back in his original position, he feels breathless, too.

The company doesn’t allow coworkers to date. And while Youngjae mildly wonders if Jaebum chased him out for his own gain, he decides to inquire on that later. So before he can say anything else, Youngjae chimes in. “Yeah.” he whispers with a nod. He knew the piglet had a reason to wake up.

I’m sorry Anon, this is not what you had in mind. But I couldn’t come up with any story for that scenario, so I wrote a villain Jaebum whom you might also enjoy.

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit!

~*~

„I am not okay with that.“ Youngjae states ascalmly as he can. Jinyoung gives him a look that makes him furious,but he does his best to hide it. It’s not ashamed, not evenapologetic. Maybe pitiful at most. It’s the kind of look that saysexactly the same as the words that tumble out of Jinyoung’s mouth.“I understand why you don’t like it and I’ll show sympathy, butin the end of the day I don’t really care. I’m not askingyou, I am simply telling you the facts. Whatever you say won’t evenchange anything. I am way too caught up in this to listen to youradvice.” Not those words exactly, of course. Jinyoung paddlesaround it, but it’s what he means in the end.

He does mentionthat he’s sorry, but then he follows with all kinds of versions of“It’s my life. I have a right to be happy.” Bla, bla, bla.Youngjae’s had it.

“Go fuckyourself.” He says and Jinyoung’s mouth shuts close. His stunnedexpression follows Youngjae all the way out the door. “I love you,Jinyoung-Hyung, but you’re making a big mistake. I’m not gonna bebutthurt about the fact that you apparently think you’re betterthan me. You’re not in your right mind, so I’ll forget that. Butif you won’t listen to me, there’s no point to this.” Hedisconnectedly waves his hand through the air in an “All of this”gesture.

Then he leaves.

Warnings: Mentions of blood

~*~

When Youngjae wakes up, he knows something is wrong. The smell of grass and soil and dead leaves surrounds him, clouding his senses. He scrunches his nose and shivers. When he sits up a gust of wind, cold October air caresses is naked skin and has him shiver. “Fuck.” He mutters. Which is objectively spoken the absolutely perfect summary of the situation. A big, bad ‘fuck’.

He sway his head looking around, but he sees nothing but trees and brush. Gentle sunlight peeks through the roof of leaves, golden rays falling to the ground, having the already fallen leafage shimmer in all colors of orange and yellow.

And red. Youngjae freezes dead. Not autumn red. Not foliage red. Blood red.

He stares at the dark sprinkles of blood staining the ground. No, please no, god, no. He follows the soiled ground with his eyes. The stains become thicker to where he’s sitting. Finally he looks down on himself. Not just his hands are covered in it. Also his legs and chest. He rubs his upper arm over his face and there crumbles dried blood.

He heaves, swallows. His throat aches in his attempt to hold it back, but then a desperate sob breaks out of him. His flood gates open and he starts crying pathetically, tears running down his cheeks, wetting the crusted blood and falling reddish-brown into his lap.

He can’t tear his gaze away from the mess. He can’t understand what happened, wishes he could wake up from this nightmare. Then, through the veil of tears he spots something between the blood-covered leaves, barely noticeable. His breath hitches. He holds it, rubs at his eyes to see more clearly, probably making an even bigger mess.

Something shimmers between the dark red and brown. Stained itself, but undeniably white in origin. Fuzzy little hairs. He reaches out, grabs a pile of dirt and brings it up to his face with his brown, dirt covered hand and filthy nails. There they are. Small bushes of white fur. Relief floods his senses. It certainly is fur. Now that the pounding of his heart calms down and his mind clears, as he blinks around him he can spot more of it. Scattered everywhere are pieces of an animal’s white coat. Maybe a bunny.

He throws the handful of dirt into the bushes and takes a few deep breaths. Everything is alright. Well, effectively he’s sitting stark naked in the middle of the woods. That’s not alright. But it could be worse. He could be a murderer. He looks up into the sky. He has no phone, no watch, no idea where he is. But he grew up around the forest and he’s not so easily lost.

It should be around 10 in the morning, he thinks, blinking at the sun, 11 at max. The terrain slightly falls behind him. The town is in the valley, the lowest point between the hills, so he’ll go that way. If he’s south of it, he can sneak in at home easily, otherwise he’ll have to walk all the way around the village and he wouldn’t like that very much. But it’d be doable. And once he’s home and washed, he can figure out what happened last night.

He scrambles to his feet, covered in nothing but dirt and blood and goosebumps. It’ll be a freezing walk, but he feels better with a plan and the prospect of a hot shower. It’s when he takes his first step that his eyes are drawn to the ground once more. He couldn’t see it before, probably sat on it, but now it’s blaringly visible. His heart stops dead for a moment there. His legs shake and he’s about to tumble back to the ground, can just so hold himself up on his feet. There’s a furry feeling in his stomach, a bitter taste on his tongue and it’s not exclusively from the fact that he swallowed a whole animal last night.

He slaps his hand onto his mouth to keep himself from screaming. Or from throwing up. Or both. The tears are back in an instant. He bends down and as gently as he can picks it up. Then he stumbles forward. He cries while he runs. He falls a few times, hurts his knees, scratches his skin open, rips his hair out that tangle in the brush.  He doesn’t care. He runs and runs, fist clutched tightly around it and he runs.

He chooses the path on instinct, nearing the town constantly. He approaches not from south directly, but from southeast. And that’s the worst possible place to be for him right now. When he breaks through the last line of thorned bushes he falls to the ground and hears a scream. He attempts to get back up, holding onto the fence that separates him from a herd of frightened cattle. They storm out of the way when a figure comes running square over the pasture.

“Youngjae!” He hears a gasped yell and the voice alone has him break into another fit of sobs. “Oh my God, what happened!? Youngjae-ah!” Jaebum climbs over the fence and then his strong arms wrap around his torso and pull him into a tight hug. “Oh my God, baby.” Jaebum hushes breathlessly. “What happened to you?!” Youngjae buries his face in his chest and sobs and shakes his head.

Jaebum picks him up and walks the long way around the pasture, carrying him as Youngjae clings to his shoulders. Jaebum is the best thing that ever happened to him and he ruined it. They’ve been best friends ever since they pooped their diapers together. And now they’ve been dating for barely two weeks, a big step and yet not in their relationship. Youngjae normally feels giddy in his presence ever since they shared an awkward first kiss. But there’s also no place in the world where he feels comfier and safer than in Jaebum’s hug.

Jaebum doesn’t bring him to his room but straight into the bathroom instead. “Are you alright, Youngjae?” He asks softly as he sets him down in the tub. He shakes his head in response, fist clenched so tightly his knuckles are white as snow. The hot water burns painfully on his cold and bruised skin, but he doesn’t make a sound about it. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t… I didn’t know. I kind of… I didn’t pay attention.” Jaebum explains, sitting down on the edge of the tub.

“I ran over to your place in the morning, because Shelly is missing. She’s just gone, I can’t find her. And then you weren’t there and I saw the shed door was burst open and I was so scared. I kind of recounted the days and I had forgotten and I remembered your family isn’t home and now I get why you didn’t accompany them to visit your brother in the city, I thought it was because of me and we’re finally gonna have sex while your parents are gone. But I forgot it’s that time of the month for you and I’m sorry I forgot, I was kind of… I don’t know. And you were gone and Shelly is missing and I was so scared and worried, what happened?”

Jaebum’s monologues can go on forever. The water is already up to Youngjae’s ribs, tainted dark with blood and soil when he finally quiets. Shelly is Jaebum’s pet goat. He’s had her for 9 years and loves her more than his parents.

Youngjae turns his tear stained face up to him and finally, carefully opens his fist. It lies flat on his palm that he holds out to him. The pink leather collar with the adorning silver charm that states her name. “I’m sorry, Hyung.” He says. “I ate her.”

~*~

Lol, I wrote an example post for sophie on what a long prompt and what a short prompt is.

Here’s the example for a prompt that’s going to be too long:

YJ and JB have been best friends since birth, but YJ has a secret, he is a werewolf and he’s trying to hide it, but JB finds out and is appalled and YJ tries to convince him that he won’t hurt him and eventually their friendship wins, but then they start dating and it becomes more complicated especially when YJ breaks free one full moon and attacks the animals on Jaebum’s parents’ farm

Here’s the example for a prompt that’s a good short:

YJ is a werewolf and accidentally eats Jaebum’s pet goat

WHY do you want me to be mean to Jabum??

~*~

„Honey!“ Jaebum startles out of his half-sleepfeeling disoriented. “Hum?” He makes. There’s a warm hand onhis chest and smelly breath in his face. He blinks his eyes open, butit’s completely dark. “Honey, you awake?” He hears a whisperand hums. The rough bare sole of a foot rubs against hi shin, nudgingbetween his legs. It takes him a moment. “Youngjae?” He mumbles,sleep ridden. A kiss to his cheek, his jaw and the corner of hismouth.

“… what timeis it?” He croaks, while Youngjae’s soft body and enticing warmthslips over him and all around him and lures him awake slowly butsurely. “Dunno.” Youngjae giggles softly, peppering wet smoochesto his face and neck. Jaebum sighs. “You drunk?” He asks,slipping a hand over Youngjae’s on his own chest where he’s takento rubbing his nipples through his shirt. “’m wasted.”Youngjae cheers proudly. His tongue flicks out to lick at Jaebum’slips. “’n I miss’ my seck…sy kitt’n.”

Jaebum heavesanother sigh. “Youngjae.” He scolds but without any firmness. “Ididn’t give you my apartment key so you can crawl into my bed inthe middle of the night when you’re shitfaced and horny.”Youngjae grumbles and shoves his leg up that was lodged soaffectionately between his all the way until his knees presses rightinto his crotch. “Not?” He asks, feigning innocence. “Butthat’s the best thing about having your key.”

Jaebum groans,wraps his arms around Youngjae and rolls them over. “You missedme?” He questions into his neck, mouthing at the skin. Youngjaegiggles gleefully. “Sooo much.” He blabbers. Jaebum can taste thealcohol on his tongue when they kiss. It’s gross. His skin tastesof sweat and smoke, he doesn’t really want to know what shady,fucked up place Youngjae hung out at with his trashy friends.

But he’spliant. Jaebum knows he won’t get to rest until Youngjae has hadwhat he wants. And he knows how to get it, how to get anything fromJaebum. He drapes back into the sheets, his thighs fall open withease, his back arches in pleasure. His lips part glistening wet, hemoans messy encouragement, whines his name, over and over and over.Jaebum’s heart swells with affection and possessiveness while hemarks the pale skin with lovebites and bruises. Youngjae begs. Hepleads for touches, for kisses, pleads to be taken and ravished.Jaebum delivers.

It’s heated andpassionate. Once Jaebum starts he can never stop, lust taking controlof his actions until he’s barely himself anymore. Until it’sover. Then he falls into the sheets, dead tired. When he got rid ofthe used condom and picked up a tissue to clean the cum stains ofYoungjae’s belly, the other is already fast asleep, snoringobnoxiously how he tends to do when he’s drunk. Jaebum does hisbest to ignore the noises and the smell as he wraps him in a hug andsnuggles close.

Jaebum is awalking corpse the next morning. He doesn’t even know how long heslept afterwards, but he certainly feels like it was just a minute.He takes a really hot shower, because taking cold showers is a dumbcliché and doesn’t help anyone. He doesn’t bother to be quietwhen getting dressed for work, because Youngjae slumbers peacefullyand it would need at least a tornado to wake his wasted ass. He doeshowever press as soft kiss onto his open mouth before he leaves.

“Are you okaysweetheart?” He texts Youngjae from work, but doesn’t receive ananswer until about noon. “Hyung, where’re your aspirin?” Jaebumrolls his eyes. Maybe where they’ve always been? “Left door ofthe bathroom cabinet, babe. Headache?” There’s no answer andJaebum puts his phone away.

When he has timeto check again later that afternoon he finds one more text. “You’reout of cereals.” He sighs. That boy…

“Your ass looksforbidden in those slacks.” Youngjae hushes as he comes up behindhim grabbing his waist. “Just my ass?” Jaebum pulls a face at himthrough the mirror where he peeks over his shoulder. He reachesaround him to adjust his tie. “All of you.” He reassures.“Perfect 10.” Jaebum can’t help the way his face lights up.“The girls gonna be so jealous.” Youngjae murmurs and pecks thespot behind his ear that makes him tingly.

Jaebum sighs.“We’re not overdressed?” He asks and watches his head shakevividly. “Nooo, it’s a fancy dinner.” To be fair, they could begoing to a wedding, or an award ceremony, both suited up head to toe,though it’s just Youngjae’s class reunion. “Come on, Sex god,we’re late.” Youngjae spanks him playfully on the butt and turnsto leave. Jaebum rolls his eyes. “It was you who needed an extra 20minutes to redo his hair.” He complains. “Well I need to live upto you don’t I?” He admits unabashed while he slips into hisdress shoes and snatches the car keys off the shelf.

Jaebum frowns.“Aren’t we gonna take a taxi?” He’s tired of staying soberwhile Youngjae drinks. He’s met with a surprised glance. “Why?When you have a perfectly working new car?” Jaebum shuffles alittle. He’s not fond of the idea of having to hang aroundYoungjae’s old friends where doesn’t know anybody and will likelyget bored and then he can’t even drink some wine. “Come one,hun.” Youngjae cheers and grabs for his arm pulling him out thedoor. “Next time I’ll drive. Promise.”

It’s not asbad. One of Youngjae’s peers from his college music club seems tohave really made it. They drive up to a big mansion with a fancy carin the driveway and Jaebum is relieved that he won’t stand out likea sore thumb in his three piece suit. What isembarrassing is how Youngjae flaunts around with Jaebum hanging athis arm while they greet everyone. Or rather Youngjae greets themwith beaming eyes and he just nods his head and says “Hello, niceto meet you.” About a thousand times when Youngjae introduces him.

Jaebum is not afan of upper class mannerisms, but he bites through it because itmakes Youngjae happy. And he looks gorgeous when he’s happy and itis a lot better than him ending up under the filthy tables of Seoul’smost dodgy back-street pubs. The girlsare jealous. Jaebum can hear themwhisper to Youngjae, who answers them a lot less secretive. “I knowright. He’s to die for. I must have been a saint in my previouslife.” Cue Jaebum turning away so they can’t see them blush andhe busies himself with the buffet full of fancy starters and snacks.

There’s achuckle by his side and he looks up instinctively. The handsome manwith the boyish grin and creasing eyes looks familiar. They probablyhave been introduced but Jaebum doesn’t remember a single name.“Yes?” He asks, startled. The guy smirks. “Man, Youngjae isreally head over heels for you, isn’t he?” Flushing furiously,Jaebum opts to stuff his mouth with some miniature salmon wraps, sohe doesn’t have to answer. “It’s kind of funny.” Jaebumfrowns on top of his hamster cheeks. “Hm?” He makes betweenchewing.

“Well…” Theguy explains, letting his gaze wander in the direction where Youngjaeis probably still boasting to his former female classmates.“Shouldn’t it be you prancing around your colleagues and friendspriding yourself with your young, handsome sugar baby and not theother way around?” Jaebum almost chokes. A piece of bread goes downthe wrong way and he begins coughing like crazy, almost spitting fishall over the table. The other man pats him harshly on the back,apologizing profoundly. “Sugar baby?” Jaebum croaks after awhile, still attempting to breathe properly. “Gosh, sorry.” Heraises is hands in apology. “I thought that was the thing with youguys.” Jaebum wipes his mouth with a napkin. “We’reboyfriends.” He hisses. It would be an understatement to say thatthe guy looks disbelieving. “Sure.” He mutters. “And Youngjaeis not unemployed either, right.” Jaebum shoots daggers at him.“No, he isn’t.” He states with finality and stalks away,leaving the dumbfounded man behind.

“Why didJinyoung-Hyung try to kill you?” Youngjae asks sweetly, ordering afew strays of hair on his forehead. Jaebum shrugs. “Nothing.”Youngjae leaves it at that.

Youngjae does getdrunk, but at least not wasted. They leave when he doesn’t stopfondling Jaebum’s butt anymore and eventually attempts to pull himinto a bathroom for a quickie. Jaebum decides that it’s time to gethim home, where Youngjae doesn’t waste any more time tearing thosedamn slacks off of him. “You were so good.” He praises, havingJaebum’s naked body shudder underneath him. “Made me so proud.”He squirms and whines under the praise and exploiting hands.

Youngjae goessavage. He takes him twice that night after teasing him for what feltlike hours. Jaebum his butter in his grasp, he burns up from theinside until he’s a pile of ashes, limp and defenseless and hethinks it’s worth it; the prancing and the glitter if this is hisreward. They’re at it till the early morning hours, when the birdsstart to chirp and in the first rays of sunlight they finally fallasleep.

“Youngjae-ah.”Jaebum says carefully when they’re having a late breakfast andfiddles with his empty mug. “Huh?” Youngjae briefly glances upfrom his phone while he shovels egg into his mouth. “I know we’vetalked about this before.” Jaebum calmly explains. “But…” Heswallows. “Can I ask you again to finally move in with me?” “Notthat again, please.” Youngjae huffs dismissively. “Can’t I evenhave my breakfast in peace?” Something cold settles in Jaebum’schest. “Youngjae?” He pleads.

Without lookingat him Youngjae puts his phone face down on the table, staringblankly ahead. He finishes chewing slowly and swallows. “You saidit yourself.” He states in that neutral voice of his that Jaebumhates because he can’t tell where it’s leading. “We’ve talkedabout this before and I’ve explained it to you before. I need myfreedom.” He blinks and suddenly they’re looking at each other.“I know.” Jaebum sighs hastily. “I know that, darling, but… Ihave to keep asking you. Until you change your mind.” Youngjae’sgaze is piercing. “Why should I change my mind. I don’t likebeing suffocated in a relationship. You know that. Why do you keeppressuring me?”

There it is.Jaebum thought maybe he would get angry, maybe annoyed. But his toneslips off into the territory of hurt that he doesn’t bare well.“I’m sorry.” He mumbles. “I just… This.” He gesturesaround the kitchen, the comfy meal. “We could have this always.”

“I don’t…”Youngjae breaks off and takes a shaky breath. “Look, I know, okay?Don’t think I know that… I’m far from perfect. I am not goodenough for you. Can you please not… shove it in my face all thetime?” Jaebum’s jaw tenses. “That’s not what I…”Youngjae’s eyes flash darkly. “Oh yes it is.” He cuts him offwith a hiss, then he blinks rapidly. “I just can’t, okay? I’msorry that I am this burden on you, but I can’t. I need space,Hyung! I can’t help it. I wish I could give you all that youdeserve, but I…” And there is the sniffle. “I don’t know whatto do either… Please just… please don’t ask me all the time. Ithurts.” A thick round tear falls from his eye and rolls down hischeek.

Jaebum is by hisside in an instant. He slides to his knees by his chair and presseshis head into his side. “I’m sorry.” He whispers, rubbing histhigh with his palm. Youngjae sobs. “I don’t want to lose you,but… if we can’t… if we don’t fit, I…” Jaebum shusheshim. “Shut up.” He says. “You’re not losing me… I’m sorryI asked, I’m sorry love.”

Youngjae criesand sniffs for a little longer. Then he finishes his cold eggs andgoes home. Jaebum huddles on the sofa alone. He wishes they couldspend their lazy Sundays snuggled together, but Youngjae is has theright to keep his independence. Jaebum is too patronizing sometimes.And it’s probably better for both of them.

“Darling, Ineed to cancel our dinner date.” Jaebum types down into his phone,curled up in his blanket and surrounded by used tissues. He adds asad emoji for good measure. And a few more. The answer doesn’t takelong. “What??!” Plus angry emoji. Jaebum’s heart sinks. “I’msorry, baby.” He writes back. “I’m sick, I can’t go.”

Youngjae whines.At least Jaebum assumes he does. “But you promised!!!” comes backwith way too many exclamation marks. He doesn’t have time to answerbefore the next message pops in. “You said you were gonna take meto that new place! That fancy one with the glass ceiling.” He saidthat. “I’m sorry. We will. I’ll take you there another time. Ipromise.” Sick of typing he tries to call Youngjae instead, butgets rejected.

“Don’tbother.” Youngjae writes. “I don’t give a crap about yourpromises.” It makes him angry. A little. “Babe, I will take youthere. Just not tonight.” He takes a break to blow his nose. “Butyou can come over and we’ll order from that Sushi place and watchNetflix. How about?” It takes quite some time for Youngjae toanswer.

“So I’llcatch your germs? No thank you. Just so you know, I had my hair doneand I bought a new outfit, too. I was really excited to go. I evengot waxed.” Jaebum’s heart aches. He doesn’t want to disappointhim, but he really doesn’t feel like he can leave the house.“Please don’t be upset. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”All he receives is a “Whatever.” He buries his face in hisblanket and screams. He breathes deeply. Some graveling won’t hurt,right?

“I do miss youterribly.” He sends. “I wish I was with you right now. Are yousure you don’t want to come over and watch a movie? Pretty please?”This times it takes even longer for Youngjae to respond. “I gotdolled up to go out and I will.” He responds finally. “If youdon’t want to take me out, just tell me. If all I’m worth to youis sitting on your lame ass sofa watching Jurassic Park the millionthtime. Fine. I’ll go out with Jackson. Don’t come at me with yourshit excuses just because you think you’re spending too much moneyon me. I won’t ask anymore. Sorry for wanting to spend quality timewith you.”

Torn betweenbeing furious and heartbroken Jaebum starts typing, which is hardbecause the keyboard blurs before his eyes. He hasn’t finished evenone sentence when Youngjae already sends a new. “Don’t text meanymore. I’m out.”

Jaebum hurls hisphone away. It bounces off the armchair and clatters to the ground.It’s alright, he tells himself, when he orders food and picks out amovie. It’s just Youngjae being Youngjae. He’s a bitch sometimes.Easily upset, but it never lasts. Tomorrow he’ll be fine again.Maybe even tonight if he gets drunk. This has happened plenty before.They’ve been dating for ages, he knows Youngjae. It’s fine.Jaebum is fine. Except that he feels lonely and that he really misseshis boyfriend.

Two movies laterhe stares at his phone that didn’t get a scratch from the throw. Hewonders if Youngjae is drunk enough that he can shoot him a textwithout upsetting him further. He just wants to know if he’s okay.He’s out with Jackson isn’t he? Jackson is Youngjae’s roommate.At first Jaebum didn’t really like him living with another man, butJackson turned out to be incredibly sweet and loyal and mostdefinitely not a threat in any way. Jackson will take good care ofhim.

He opts to textJackson instead. They’ve never actually corresponded and Jaebumonly met him once, so he has to search for his number. “HeyJackson.” He ponders and decides to add his name in case he doesn’thave his number saved. “This is Jaebum. Can I ask you if Youngjaeis alright? We’ve had a quarrel.”

It doesn’t takelong for his phone to light up. The first message is just a “???”He doesn’t know what to make of it. “I don’t know, bro? He’snot home.” Jaebum’s skin crawls. “Uhm, he said he’d go outwith you because I canceled our date…” He types as fast as he canand waits anxiously. “Negative.” Jackson replies. “He said he’sout with his boyfriend, we never made plans.” Jaebum shuffles. “ButI canceled in the afternoon already. Didn’t he say anything afterthat?” His heart is thumping in his chest.

“Dunno man.”Jackson answers, but he’s a kind soul. “Give me a minute. I’llcheck in for you.” The next couple of minutes are torturous whilehe anxiously waits for an answer, checking the screen every fewseconds. Finallya message pops up. “I asked him if he’s gonna be home tonight. Hesent this.”

Maybe Jaebum ishallucinating. Maybe he’s having a fever dream from the flu. Hestares at the picture that Jackson forwarded. Youngjae took a selfie,arm stretched all the way over his head, looking up with a wink andhis tongue out. On a bed. The photo frame just so captures the lowerhalf of his body. And a second body. The lower back of it to beprecise. And Youngjae’s cock buried to the hilt in their ass.

Jaebum pressesthe trash can icon without a second thought. His breathing and heartbeat calm down to a resting state. It’s not. There’s anexplanation. There’s a reason. He gently sets his phone aside andgrabs one of the pizza rolls to take a bite. It’s fine. It’ll befine. Tomorrow everything will be okay. Youngjae won’t be upsetanymore, like always. They’ve been dating forever, they know eachother well. They’ll be fine and Jaebum will take him to that fancyrestaurant next week.

~*~

Writing Yugyeom is a really new experience. Unlike2jae and Jinyoung whom I write normally, I don’t have built acharacter/personality for him yet.

You asked forliterally anything,so here’s my hybrid of DBSK’s First love Mini-Drama and CruelIntentions’ famous smooch.

Thank you for your request anon.

~*~

There’s nothingbad about being the maknae. In fact, it’s absolutely great.Everybody takes care of you, everybody fusses over you, everyone islenient with you. You can fuck up once in a while and you’ll beforgiven. You can be bratty or you can whine to get your way. Easy.

Now, Yugyeom isgrown up and all, but he still kind of has the Baby-Status. Thatdoesn’t bother him, really. It’s not so much a problem to be thebaby. It sucks to be ababy.

The thing, aboutbeing an idol, it is that you kind of get. How should he put it?Frozen in time? Yugyeom wasa baby when he debuted. Physically he’s grown out of it, sure. Butthere were things all his Hyungs were ahead of him back then… andthat never really changed. He never really had the time to berebellious to his parents or be a careless teenager. To experimentand slack off. He was full time employed since he was really, reallylittle. At least emotionally.

Now he’s atwenty-something, but barely anyone, including himself sees him as anactual… man. Because somehow he is still that baby.

It wouldn’t bebad, it really wouldn’t. He likes his life and he likes to bepampered and he likes to be the center of attention. There is just…just this one thing. This thing that all of his Hyungs had ahead ofhim back when they first debuted. That thing that never changed sincethen, because they were frozen. They were tied. And Yugyeom just…He’s just alonewith it.

It’s not likehe would ever dare to say it out loud. Not even to BamBam. BamBam whowas barely older than him, but who was somehow way ahead. In hisemotional maturity. Who looked awfully young, so small and tiny, butwho was way. Way. Way ahead of Yugyeom in many ways. BamBam, who isice cold, who can stare the company in the eyes, smug and confidentand can do whatever he pleases, because he does not rely on them,because he is a prince and he makes a shit ton of money.

Yugyeom admiresthat. He’s awfully jealous and there was a time, not too long agowhen the admiration he felt for his best friend was much lessinnocent. It was confusing and scary and Yugyeom felt all the moresmall next to him. He got over it, of course. It wasn’t the firsttime, he had to get over these kind of feelings many, many times.

The first time,he remembers quite blurry, was long before debut. The way Jackson wasfawning over him, even when they could barely communicate had givenhim a feeling that, after a while of pondering, he sorted into thecategory of “adult feelings” he was not yet old enough to have.By the time that he learnt that he was the only one of his group ofseven who had never in his life acted upon those feelings, they werealready gone and Yugyeom, embarrassed to death, lied.

The lie he toldwas carefully crafted and became more detailed over time. Addinglittle things here and there so his mates would never, ever find outthe truth.

The right age forYugyeom to have his first came and went and he was an idol. But itwas okay, for a while, because the others were tied, too. The topicvanished from their conversations, because there’s no point inrepeating the same stories over and over when nobody was in theposition to experience something new to tell about.

Yugyeom kept hisstrange feelings for himself. After Jackson it was Mark. Then it wasJaebum, at some point. Then finally, Jinyoung. It scared him, eachtime. He had thoughts, he had dreams. He imagined, this and that,though he never had any basis to work with. At some point in his lifehe had made up his mind on what it should feel like and that’s whathe stayed with. Through every single one of his crushes. And theywere a lot. He didn’t even stick to his own members. Anyone that hemet was basically in the line of one of his naughty fantasies. He’san idol after all, surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of gorgeous,handsome, beautiful boys and girls.

And then it gotworse. Everyone grew up. They got older, they became successful. Theylet their guards down and management became more lenient with them.One after the other snuck in a date or two. Secretive at first andthen, over time, a little more careless. They unfroze. Some were cuteand shy about it, like Mark and some, well, mostly BamBam wereextremely smug about it. He got a scolding and toned it down, butjust a notch. It made Yugyeom uneasy, but he tried to hide it.

BamBam is thesecond youngest and by now he’s most likely the most experienced ofthem all. He’s his best friend and Yugyeom thinks regularly aboutcoming clean to him, asking him for advice, but by now he’s keptthe lie up for so many years, he can’t bear the shame of tellingthe truth. One good thing that happened was, when Jaebum and Youngjaefinally crossed the line of their platonic love.

It told Yugyeomtwo things, while he tried not to stare too much when he firstwitnessed them doing it in their presence. 1: It’s okay to thinklike that about boys. 2: It’s okay to think like that aboutmembers.

The problemthere? Well, the two of them liked each other. Equally. And only eachother. Yugyeom feels like that about approximately 100 differentpeople. Not one. Not just members. Not just boys. He’s not surethat’s still normal.

Suddenly, nowthere are new stories to tell. New grounds for conversations and atsome point, he knows, he’s going to be expected to join in. To addhis part. He’s gotten around it, so far, by pretending to be tooshy and it’s believable because he’s the baby. Because he duckshis head when the conversation goes in that direction, because hecan’t even look at two people kissing without going bright red inembarrassment.

They nudge him alittle. Not much, but just enough to make him uncomfortable. It’snot that he doesn’t want to. He does, but he somehow thinks he’smissed his chance. Isn’t he too old now? He doesn’t know how orwho or when or… just how? How does this work?

“I think she’sit.” BamBam says in the backseat of the car, staring down at hisphone. Jinyoung rolls his eyes. Jaebum tells him to “be careful”.BamBam doesn’t let himself be chastised, he sinks deeper into hisseat and types quickly with a half a grin on his face. Yugyeom’stummy aches. Some members are more, some are less serious about theirdates. But whenever they are, it gives him a strange feeling. It’sprobably jealousy he thinks, though he doesn’t know whom it is for.Maybe that doesn’t matter. Maybe Yugyeom is so desperate for it, hedoesn’t even care whether he wants to have BamBam or have hisgirlfriend.

“Good for you.”He says quietly and pats BamBam’s thigh, heart fluttering over thebeaming smile he receives in return. Supportive maknae, they call himsometimes. They all have their role in the dating department. Jaebumthe authoritative, Jinyoung the dismissive, BamBam the homophobe,Jackson the excited, Mark the disinterested, Youngjae thecomparative. (Nobody’s relationship is as perfect as his and it’sannoying). Yugyeom is the supportive one. Of each and everyone. It’sall he has. If he can’t do it himself, he can at least support theothers have it. Maybe, just maybe he’s living through them a littlebit. He listens attentively, tries to pick up on the how’s andwhy’s and tries to fit himself in there.

When the nudgesof his members get harder, eventually become serious prodding… He’snot proud of it, but he avoids them. He hangs with his other idolfriends a lot. Most of those who are his age and work under stricteragencies are not even close to the end of their dating ban. It’scomfortable for a while, until they begin to figure out that all ofYugyeom’s members are dating in one way or another and well… Theywant to hear about him as well.

It’sfrustrating on so many levels. Sometimes he wonders if romance is allthat people ever care about. All the movies, all the songs are aboutit. But he can’t really judge them, because he’s been thinkingabout it the past years. Like, nonstop. Singing all the songs aboutromance and girlfriends and being flirty with the fans. And havingindecent thoughts about every single one of his friends at one pointin time. It’s agonizing.

It all peaks, oneday. When he’s drunk. It’s just him and Mark and Youngjae,everyone else too busy with their individual schedule. They’ve hada feast of a dinner and a few too many drinks. Enough to last thewhole group in theory, all three of them drinking more than theyshould. Mark, with his lack of body mass, is wasted incredibly soon.It’s not a lie when Youngjae brags about being a heavy weight. He’stipsy, but coherent, while Yugyeom is already lightheaded beyondanything, words like ‘shame’ or ‘dignity’ foreign to him.

“You know it’snothing to be ashamed about, right?” Youngjae asks out of nowhere.Yugyeom, who’d been busy toying with passed out Mark’s feet inhis lap looks up with a frown. “What’ya mean?” He inquires. “Imean. You got me and Jaebum. And like, there’s no need to besecretive about it.” Yugyeom’s frown simply deepens. He wondersif he missed or forgot about the first part of this conversation.

“Liking guys isfine.” Youngjae urges. “I mean, Jaebum is so gay, he wouldn’ttouch a girl with a broomstick from 2 meters away, right?” Yugyeomcan’t help but giggle about that mental image. He doesn’t reallythink about the meaning of the words until his laughter fades. “I’mnot.” He says, quite the pathetic comeback and Youngjae snorts.“Yeah.” He says with a raised brow. “You’re totally not intodudes.” Yugyeom shakes his head. “That’s not what I mean.” Heattempts to explain, but he doesn’t really know what else to say sohe leaves it there.

“Is it…”Youngjae speaks thoughtfully now. “Because you’re into a member?Someone who’s taken?Or straight? Or both?” He glances over to where Yugyeom is stillpoking Mark’s socked toes. He vehemently shakes his head inresponse. “Then why’re you trying so hard to hide your sexualityfrom us?” It’s obvious that he doesn’t really believe him. “Amnot!” Yugyeom gives back again, aware that he slips intochildishness. “Just because I don’t mention it like, every twoseconds like you guys.” He’s pouting and sees Youngjae soften.

“Okay.” Henods. “Just know that you can. Like, tell us anything.” Yugyeomlooks away, focuses on Mark’s sleeping face, mouth hanging open andsnoring loudly. He’s drunk. His heart aches. He has theoverwhelming desire to come clean. There’s just Youngjae here.Youngjae is honest and caring and less prone than BamBam or Jinyoungor even Jackson to make fun of him. How bad could it be?

“Can you keep asecret?” He asks, before he properly thought it through. When helooks back up he sees Youngjae’s eyes widen in anticipation. Hestares, intrigued, when he nods. Even draws a cross over his chest.“I…” Yugyeom begins, but has to take a deep breath before hecan get any words out. “I think.. I like guys. Maybe. Girls, too, Iguess. I’ve never really seen like… a difference?” A smallsmile quirks Youngjae’s lips, his eyes sparkling excitedly. “Thething is…” Yugyeom squirms on his seat uncomfortably. “… Ihaven’t really been able to find out. I mean I was really youngwhen we debuted and… since thendating has been taboo and how would I… hum…” Youngjae’s headtilts slightly in confusion, the story about Yugyeom’s high schoolgirlfriend with the long hair and cute button nose and short legs onboth their minds.

“I have neverdated anyone.” He concludes, biting his bottom lip. “I havenever… kissed someone.” “But…” Youngjae makes and cuts off,eyes growing even larger, then finishes with a long, breathless“Oohhhh…”

“You promisednot to tell anyone!” Yugyeom reminds him, panicking just mildlywith the alcohol coursing through his veins, but not entirely free ofemotions. Youngjae shakes his head wildly and promises “Won’t.”

“I’m 23.”Yugyeom complains his insecurity. “If I were to date someone.Anyone. They’d expect that I… know what I’m doing, but I don’t.I don’t know anything. And I told most people I have and then…what if I make a total fool of myself? I really, really want to, butI don’t know how and…” Youngjae slaps a hand over his mouth tostop his babbling. He didn’t even notice him scooting closer.“Chill bro.” He says, grabbing Mark’s feet and pushing them offhis lap. “It’s not rocket science.”

Yugyeom mumblesdisheartened “That’s easy to say when you do it all the time.”Youngjae shows him an encouraging smile. “I can teach you if youwant.” Yugyeom sputters, just now realizing how close he is, theirlegs touching, his hand on his upper arm. “Wha…” he makes andfeels his face heat up. “B..but Jaebum Hyung…?” Youngjaeshrugs. “He won’t mind.” Yugyeom isn’t so sure about that.But it doesn’t change the fact that his heart flutters and his skintingles, his mouth going dry.

He’s neverreally had the opportunity to nurse a crush on Youngjae. By the timehe was all grown up and sexy, he’s already been in this half-therething with Jaebum and Yugyeom refrained from getting involved.Doesn’t change the fact that the sole thought of kissing Youngjaemakes him feel excited and nervous all over, the pure idea of hisfirst kiss closing up his throat. Youngjae leans in impossibly close,so close that he can feel his hot breath hit his face. Dumbfounded,hazed, clouded, he nods.

His eyes shutclose. Because that’s what you do when kissing, right? You closeyour eyes. There’s a moment of pure tension, his head spinning witheither drunken-ness or fear, then Youngjae’s lips softly placeagainst his own. It’s not a firework. It’s not how it’sdescribed in books or movies or anything. But it is very nice. Hedidn’t know that other people’s lips were so smooth and soft,doesn’t know if his own are even.

It’s like thatfor a bit. Just their lips set against each other and Yugyeom’slabored breath and then Youngjae moves his. Yugyeom lowkey panics. Hedoesn’t know what he should do. Just let him? Move back? He feels ahand, warm and gentle creep up his shoulder and slip into his hair onthe back of his neck, holding his head in place, so he can’t justpull away in fright. He feels Youngjae’s head tilt, just slightlyand put more pressure onto his mouth. Carefully he attempts to mimicthe motions, moving his own lips open and close and as he does that,Youngjae’s bottom lip gets caught between his own, before he pullsaway with a huff.

Yugyeom’s eyesfly open in terror. Did he do something wrong? Youngjae smilesthough. “That was fine.” He says cheerfully. “You don’t needto be that careful though.” Yugyeom nods shyly. He’s painfullyreminded of his burning cheeks. He does want to kiss again. “Okay,so. Now we’re going to get a little naughtier.” Youngjae explainscasually. “We kiss and you open your mouth okay?” Yugyeomshudders and nods hastily again and leans in eagerly, before he getstoo nervous. Youngjae giggles quietly. “Alright, not so much forthe theory there?” He cheers, but allows to bring their lipstogether again.

It’s just asnice as before and Yugyeom tilts his head a little like Youngjae did,so their noses don’t collide, but he thinks it’s kind of strangeto just randomly open his mouth. That is until Youngjae does andsuddenly the really wet, slippery tip of his tongue prods against hislips. It slips between them immediately and clashes with his teeth.Yugyeom shivers excessively, parting them with a little gasp,half-voluntary and half not and then Youngjae’s tongue is againsthis own.

The spark, theflash, the thing that didn’t happen when he expected it, happensnow that he doesn’t. The sensation of Youngjae’s tongue, thoughit’s wet and sticky and rough is absolutely amazing. He can feelthe details of its surface and he can taste it. The booze and thepizza cheese and something else. Something so foreign and unique ithas him think ‘This is it’. This is the taste of another person.Youngjae’s tongue invades his mouth quite unapologetic, enough thathe would have backed away his whole head ifit wasn’t held in place still. So hepushes back carefully, rubbing his tongue against Youngjae’s. Itsends a pleasant tingle down his back and has him regret deeply thathe missed out on kissing for so many years.

It doesn’t takelong for Youngjae to retreat, but Yugyeom is very unwilling to let goyet, so he chases after his tongue as it hidesback behind his teeth, follows it into the warm, wet cave of hismouth. It’s honestly even better there. Youngjae’s tastestronger, overwhelming nearly. He feelsYoungjae’s teeth graze along his tongue when he searches for itscompanion. It’s probably a little frantic, maybe sloppy even. Verywet indeed. But Youngjae allows him to play for a little longer,nudging his tongue playfully and cute until he apparently deems itenough.

He hold Yugyeomby the hair and draws out of his reach. They part with a slick sound,cool air washes over him and has him realize the wetness of his lipsand everything. He closes his mouth shut in nervous shock and noticeshow ridiculously fast his heart is beating. Adrenaline coursingthrough his veins has him fidget, he licks his lips, sucking thebottom one into his mouth. He tastes Youngjae there, lingering barelynoticeable and his ears burn.

But Youngjaegrins happily. “See?” He says joyfully, “No rocket science.You’re a neat kisser.” Yugyeom finally, eventually hides his facein his hands and Youngjae bursts into laughter, patting his backforcefully. “Now, how was your first kiss?”

Yugyeom nodsbehind his hands. Youngjae’s boominglaughter startles a barely conscious Mark awake and the task ofgetting him to drink a glass of water and lie down in a bed allow hisflushed face to calm down. Youngjae calls himself a taxi to “Behome when Jaebum crawls into bed later.” but Yugyeom stays anddecides to crawl in at Mark’s side, yearning to lie down and sleep.

Youngjae hugs himGoodbye and grinning sheepishly presses a wet, harsh smack on hislips. Mark kind of shuffles and wakes when Yugyeom slips under hisblanket. He mumbles something incoherent, but blinks at him. “Youokay?” Yugyeom can make out. “Yeah why?” He inquires and Markmumbles “You’re hot.” His fingers slip over his face and feelhis heated cheeks.

“Hyung?” Heasks, getting a hold of Mark’s wrist. He hums. “Do you wantpractice kissing with me?”

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are shortened to acronyms for posts, translations, memes or subs.

What's written vs How my brain reads it:

YG - Yugyeom

BB - BamBam

YJ - Youngjae

JY - Jinyoung

JS - Jackson

Mk - Mark

Warnings: NSFW! Explicit!

In the dim light, everything looks more romantic than it is. Jinyoung’s glowing eyes and plush lips. Mark’s canine smile and soft mob of brown hair. The atmosphere is flittering with electricity. Want, adoration, desire. It’s palpable.

Jaebum understands the look on Jinyoung’s face. Because he feels it, too. Because Mark is breathtaking. Jinyoung leans in and Jaebum watches their lips brush together. It dissolves into a heated play of tongues too quickly, Mark panting roughly into Jinyoung’s mouth. Then a moan, half swallowed makes it to Jaebum’s ears sounding like music and he repeats what he did, pushing his head down, swallowing Mark’s cock down his throat. He gags, when Mark’s hips buck, but it’s okay, he doesn’t mind. He sucks around his head, producing lewd wet noises, but they get overshadowed by Mark’s moaning and Jinyoung sucking on his tongue.

A hand sneaks into his hair and Jaebum whimpers around Mark’s length from the simple touch. He’s desperate for it, he’s rock hard and needing a lot of willpower to not touch himself. He’s almost disappointed to realize the hand is Jinyoung’s. He leaves it there, fingers curled around strands of his hair and detaches from Mark’s lips with a wet noise, smacking and licking down his throat to slick his nasty tongue around Mark’s nipple. He groans into his chest and Jaebum regretfully notices that Mark managed to wiggle a hand down Jinyoung’s body and wrap it around his leaking cock.

Jaebum sucks with more fervor, watches Mark’s mouth fall open and spill sounds of pleasure. He pops off, panting heavily and makes an attention seeking sound. Jinyoung’s hand falls from his head. Mark blinks at him hazed and reaches up behind himself, scrambling for the lube and condoms. A jolt of pleasure sparks through Jaebum’s body from the thought alone. Eagerly he takes the condom off his hand and rips the package open to roll it down Mark’s erection. When he squeezes lube into his palm, Jinyoung comes up from sucking on Mark’s nipple.

Jaebum leans down to press his lips to Mark’s while curling his lubed fingers around his length, slicking him up. He swallows his moans and licks into his mouth, but the kiss stays barely reciprocated, so Jaebum opts to kiss down to his neck and suck hickeys into his skin while pumping his length. He feels Jinyoung’s hand nudge against his hand and take over the task of evenly spreading the lube around Mark’s length, Jaebum takes the opportunity to bring his own behind him and use two of his slick fingers to open himself up.

“Hnh, I wanna fuck you so bad.” Mark’s raspy voice states and it has Jaebum shudder and clench around his own fingers. Gasping he detaches from his neck. “Let me open you up.” Mark half whispers in this strained voice that sounds so sexy and Jaebum won’t say no even if he’s impatient and wouldn’t mind getting fucked right then and there.

Mark sits up and Jaebum rolls onto his back. But to Mark’s other side, he pushes Jinyoung over and down onto his stomach, then climbs behind him with the lube, squeezing a decent amount right between Jinyoung’s cheeks.

Jaebum swallows while he stares at them. Mark’s seductive smirk and Jinyoung’s sparkling eyes. He takes a shuddering breath and when Jinyoung moans desperately from Mark pushing three of his fingers inside of him, Jaebum tears his gaze away. There’s a dull pressure on his ears, as if he’s going deaf, his mind is swimming. Shivering he slides his feet off the bed, not able to get up until they’re both firmly planted on the fluffy carpet.

He’s completely quiet, motions calm and measured as he sneaks through the room, picking up pieces of his clothes and piling them in his arms. When he thinks he has them all, he walks over to the door, ignoring the desperate moans and seductive whispers and slips out of the room unheard.

They don’t want him.

Youngjae is surprised, to say the least, when the door to Mark’s room opens in the middle of… Well. Sexually sounding moans wave through the air and by instinct he turns his head towards the door. Out steps a handsome man with dark hair and long legs. He’s nude and shivers, maybe from the cooler air in the living room and he’s absolutely hard. He has a pile of clothes clutched to his chest, tightly as if it was a plushie doll and he’s seeking for comfort.

Rough moaning makes it past him from inside the room and Youngjae frowns. Tge guy pulls the door shut quietly, then he’s just standing there. His eyes are casted downwards to the floor, empty expression on his features. Youngjae shifts uncomfortably. It’s not like he’s never seen a naked man, no less one stepping out of Mark’s bedroom, but that one clearly hasn’t noticed him yet and Youngjae feels shady staring at him. He can’t help it though. The guy is really hot. The wide shoulders are totally his style and so is that gorgeously thick cock.

Maybe if he crouches down and lays flat on the sofa the guy won’t see him. But that would be even creepier. So instead he clears his throat gently. The guy almost jumps in surprise, his gaze flicking up and finding him, welping in shock. His arms scramble down to hide his receding boner, but he’s so shaky, half of his clothes just drop to the ground as he does and in his attempt to catch them, the rest also falls until he’s just covering himself with his flat hands.

Respectfully Youngjae turns his head away. “Sorry.” He speaks neutrally. “Don’t worry, nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“I… uhm… what… h… who?” He hears the man stammer and then shuffle, rustling of fabric and clacking of belt-buckles following. “Oh, I’m Youngjae.” He answers, staring down at the book in his lap. “Mark’s roommate.”

“Ah.” The guy makes, apparently putting his clothes on. “S… Sorry, I didn’t know I…” Youngjae cuts him. “Oh, don’t worry. I honestly didn’t expect someone out there as of yet.”

The guys rustling quiets and Youngjae deems he can turn around again. It’s visible that he got dressed in a hurry, shirt crumpled and hair messy. It looks kinda cute. “Y… You know what…” the man gestures wildly behind himself. Youngjae shrugs. “Mark brings a lot of fuck-dates. No biggie.” He means to be reassuring, but sees his face fall and feels sorry immediately. “Though.” He adds, thinking that he should now go through with it, let the poor dude know what he’s gotten himself into. “Usually he doesn’t let them get away until they’re done.”

Even from half across the room he can see the guy swallow hard. “Oh, they’re not done.” He responds, bitterness evident in his tone. “Oh…” Oh… Youngjae pulls a face. More than one partner aren’t exactly a novelty for Mark, but they’re not common either.

“Threesomes not your thing, huh?” He asks in an attempt to keep the mood light, though he’s not sure why exactly. Youngjae is a social person, but why socialize with your roommates pick-ups? Then again, why doesn’t that man show any signs of leaving? He shrugs and looks away. “Guess not.” He mumbles.

Youngjae slides the book off his lap and turns his body around on the sofa, propping his arms on the backrest and placing his chin on his hands. He’s intrigued. The guy is a cutie. “What’s your name?” He inquires curiously. The man’s eyes dart back to his. “Jaebum.” His voice is low and hesitant. “Hi Jaebum.” Youngjae smiles and then asks carefully. “Are you alright, Jaebum?” He witnesses his mouth open and close silently. Then he bites his teeth together and shakes his head.

As if on cue, a viciously loud moan bangs through the apartment having both of them freeze still. Jaebum’s hands ball into fists and he blinks rapidly. Uh oh. Youngjae scrambles to his feet. “Do you want a coffee?” “I should leave now.” They speak at the same time and still. “Do you…” “I should…” They try again, once more in synchrony and break off. Youngjae rolls his eyes pretentiously and witnesses Jaebum’s jaw untense at least a little. He lifts his arm in a ‘Shush’ motion and says. “Would you like a coffee?” Jaebum looks insecure and eventually shakes his head slightly. Youngjae nods in understanding and gives it another try. “A beer?” To that, Jaebum nods quite quickly.

Gesturing him to follow, Youngjae tapers towards the kitchen, and creaks the door shut after them. They never close the kitchen door, what for? What kitchen’s do even have doors? But now it’s probably better. Jaebum slides into a chair without being offered, but Youngjae doesn’t mind. He takes two beers from the fridge and opens them, holding one out. Jaebum nods a ‘Thanks’ and they give a slight toast before both taking a sip. Jaebum’s last a bit longer.

He plants the can on the kitchen table and sighs obnoxiously. It suits him, the beer. Drinking his pain away. When’s he not looking so lost, he’s quite handsomely cool and not just cute. Youngjae props his butt on the counter. He ponders. Should he offer an ear or a shoulder, or should he rather change the topic and offer distraction? “You wanna talk about it?” He decides to leave the option to Jaebum. He shrugs in response and looks up questioningly. “Thanks but… Why would you care?” “Dunno.” Youngjae admits thoughtfully. “You just looked like you’d need a friend. Also…” He takes a deep breath. “I know Mark for a bit and he’s a bitch and sometimes he just makes me angry and…” He studies Jaebum’s frown. “And I’m nosy.”

Being honest is one of Youngjae’s character traits he’s quite proud of. And it works if the way Jaebum’s features soften is anything to go by. “He’s… really beautiful.” He mumbles beaten, takes another swig of his beer. Youngjae snorts, accidentally. “Yeah sure.” He adds hastily at the look he receives. “Yeah, I mean… Pretty Mark, guys everywhere falling over themselves trying to get in his pants…” He scoffs. Jaebum tilts his head, just a notch. “Have you…?” To which Youngjae shakes his head rigorously. “Hell nah.” Jaebum nods, staring into nowhere and turning his head towards the table.

“I’m sorry if you liked him…” It bugs Youngjae to say it. He’s not really that sorry, but it’s probably the nicest thing to say. So much for being honest. Jaebum isn’t the first and won’t have been the last. He’ll get over it like all of them. And Mark is stupid for chasing such a piece of candy out his bed. Candy shrugs. Then, with some difficulty he whispers. “’s like I wasn’t even there.” Youngjae frowns. It’s hard to imagine that a guy that handsome isn’t the center of everyone’s attention in the room.

Jaebum chugs his beer down in one go. Youngjae is slightly impressed and slightly turned on. If he gets him drunk… No no, stop it! He tells himself. “I was third-wheeling so hard.” Jaebum elaborates after slamming the empty can onto the table. “Like… they didn’t even… they were so into each other.” His voice grows louder, just a notch with so much fury underneath, Youngjae feels a pleasant tickle between his legs. Yes, he’s that kind of guy.

“I tried really hard, I mean… I did. I…” His voice wavers. “I was willing, I was. I lay there and…” He chokes. “I’ve never felt so worthless…” His head drops, hanging low, any anger completely gone. He looks pitiful the way he sits there, forlorn on Youngjae’s kitchen chair. Youngjae’s heart aches for him. He sets his beer down on the counter and slides off to the ground. Jaebum’s chest heaves heavy breaths, visible and audible as Youngjae quietly steps closer. He feels him flinch, when he places a hand on the messy mob of dark hair. He knows his soothing aura and he really doesn’t want this gorgeous man to feel that way.

Jaebum’s head turns up slowly. He sucks in shaky breaths through parted lips and the kitchen’s light reflects off the wet streaks on his cheeks. “Oh…” Youngjae breathes soundlessly, “Oh, poor you.” He swings a leg over him and casually sits down on his lap, leaving his hand tangled in his hair, fingertips grazing his scalp. Their faces end up a mere 15 centimeters apart and the confusion is evident in Jaebum’s features, but tears still roll down his handsome cheekbones silently. “You’re not worthless.” He assures in a soft whisper, drawing the pads of his fingers through his hair and down to his neck, rubbing and scratching the skin gently. Jaebum’s watery eyes are huge, his breath hitches.

“Thanks.” He whispers quietly. Youngjae smiles and closes the distance, softly placing his lips on his parted ones. He tastes salty tears, tilts his head, holds the back of his neck steady. Jaebum is very shy about the kiss. It stays incredibly sweet, all the way through, even when Youngjae nudges his tongue between his teeth. He feels the shudder beneath the pads of his fingers when their tongues meet, carefully testing, tasting. They dance around one another. It’s wet but calm and slow.

It’s a breathtaking kiss. Youngjae feels regretful when he pulls away, a string of saliva popping between their lips. Jaebum’s eyes flutter open and Youngjae’s belly tingles. “That…” Jaebum breathes. “Was the best kiss I’ve ever had.” Something happens, in Youngjae’s mind, his body reacts in a way so unfamiliar. He feels hot, but not sexually hot. His cheeks feel so warm, there’s a pull in his chest. The honesty has him speechless for a moment. “You can also have the best blowjob you’ve ever had.” He promises eventually, raspy because his throat feels dry, pressing his bottom down on his lap.

Jaebum blinks. His cheeks are still wet, but no fresh tears are falling anymore. Then he shakes his head. Youngjae’s stomach plummets. He counted on it. “I’m sorry.” Jaebum crooks and grabs him by the waist. His hold is firm, Youngjae likes it. Then he pushes him off, scrambling to his feet along until they’re both standing. “Thank you.” Jaebum’s voice is a lot more firm than he’s heard it until now. “For the offer. And the beer.” He hesitates for a second. “And the kiss.” Youngjae frowns. “But I’m not like that. And I have to go now.” Youngjae stumbles out of his grip, backwards, hitting the corner of the table. He tries not to show how upset he his, partly because he doesn’t know why. Being refused a hook-up doesn’t throw him off the rail usually.

Jaebum reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, carefully tapping around on it for a moment. Youngjae leans against the table and tries to calm his beating heart. It’s futile, ‘cause Jaebum lifts his phone up, turns it around in his hand and holds it out to him. He stares at the screen. There it says ‘Youngjae’ and an empty field underneath. He doesn’t think. He doesn’t pick up the phone. He stretches his index out and types a string of numbers. Once he’s done, he takes his hand back and lets his gaze wander to Jaebum’s face.

He’s handsome, his gaze sturdy, the dried streaks on his cheeks barely visible, but still there. Jaebum’s eyes flicker up when he tugs his phone away. And then there it is. The hint of a smile, genuine and sweet. Without stepping in, Jaebum simply leans forward, hand reaching out to smooth against Youngjae’s cheek and then they kiss again. Short, but no less tender.

“Youngjae-ah.” Jaebum murmurs, voice rough and Youngjae shudders hearing his name said like that. “Thank you very much.” Then Jaebum turns and throws over his shoulder. “I’ll find my way out.”

Even when the apartment door falls shut loudly, Youngjae still doesn’t move. What just happened?

When he finally huddles back on the sofa, Mark’s bedroom is dead quiet. He picks his phone from the living room table routinely, without any clear intention, mostly because it feels absolutely impossible now to get back into his book. There’s a new message on his phone, from 5 minutes ago. Just around the time Jaebum stepped out the door. It’s an unknown number.

Warnings: Some NSFW language. And they’re weird

~*~

Jinyoung wasn’t prepared for the sight that awaited him when he pushed the door open without a second thought. He was busily staring down at his phone. “Would you want pizza or chinese?” He asked before looking up from the food-delivery app and scanning the room.

He froze solid on the spot when his eyes found the bed. There, on the blanket, with a Hollywood-worthy deer-in-the-headlights expression lay a boy. A very, very naked boy. He was spread out on the covers, slender legs parted, one hand dangerously close to his boy-parts placed on his stomach and head facing the door.

Jinyoung could only imagine the sultry look he would have put on his face when they door opens. Except, well. Jinyoung probably wasn’t the right person to come through. It took the guy a comically long time to finally scramble up into a sitting position and pull the blanket over his exposed lower body. Jinyoung probably should have turned around immediately and thrown the door shut, but something kept him glued to the ground.

Maybe it was the lingering picture of his naked body, or maybe it was just shock and confusion. It was quiet for a while as they drowned in the awkwardness until the boy cleared his throat. “Pizza.” He said and left Jinyoung confused for a moment. Then he remembered the delivery and dabbed around on his phone, ordering probably way too much for two people. Or three?

“Where’s Jaebum?” they suddenly spoke up almost in synchrony. Jinyoung tucked his phone into his pocket. “I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “I thought you were him, I mean… I just heard someone come in and…”

The boy took a few deep breaths. “This is his apartment right?” He asked cautiously and Jinyoung nodded. “And who are you?” The boy shifted visibly uncomfortable. “His uhm… I guess…” Well, obviously, when he was lying nude in Jaebum’s bed. “Are you?” It was then that between the nervous and embarrassed posture something else shone through. “Oh, hell. No. No no.” Jinyoung made, lifting up his hands in surrender. “I’m just like… uh, temporary roommate.”

The boy exhaled a soft huff and his posture slumped a little. “How’d you get… why…?” Jinyoung tried to find words to make any sense of this mess.

“Oh, uhm… I really didn’t know of any roommate. Sorry. He gave me a key for… emergency… But… I was never here actually and I just… Oh god…” He buried his face in his hands in what Jinyoung assumed to be another wave of embarrassment, until he heard a small, pitiful sob. What the fuck.

“Jesus.” He muttered in confusion. “Is everything alright?” The boy shook his head with his hands still clutching is face while he sniffled. Jinyoung carefully made his way over to the bed, awkwardly sitting on the edge. The boy pulled the blanket closer, higher up over his body. “Gosh, I’m sorry.” He whined and rubbed on his face.

“Don’t be.” Jinyoung soothed calmly. “Jaebum is a handful, huh?”

The boy’s shoulders tensed, but he stopped sobbing and eventually looked up. “I don’t know.” He said with a sniff. Jinyoung nodded. “To be honest…” He spoke gently, unwilling to hurt the poor boy further, but he really needed to figure out what was going on. If Jaebum gave his key to someone, you’d think it was quite serious, right? “… He never really mentioned dating someone, so…” Of course he had to witness the boy’s face fall. “W…what’s your name?”

It was quiet for a moment, the boy opened his mouth a few times, but no sound came out. Jinyoung decided to wait patiently, until eventually. “Youngjae…” It was more a whisper than anything.

Jinyoung gave the name some time to sicker into his brain, waiting for a revelation. But there came none. Youngjae seemed to notice. “He didn’t even mention me once, did he.” He said soundlessly, not really a question despite the phrasing. Jinyoung did feel incredibly sorry, but he couldn’t really lie in such a serious situation. So he shook his head and mumbled “Sorry.”

“Would you…” Youngjae’s head piped up with a last spark of hope. “be someone he told?” His eyes were begging for an explanation. “I’m… we’re… best friends.” Jinyoung admitted. Youngjae looked like he was gonna burst into tears, but he just pressed his lips together and went quiet.

“I’m trying to make sense of this.” Jinyoung took charge of the conversation. “How long have you been… dunno… dating?” Youngjae shuddered visibly. He spoke very slowly. “I don’t think we are… actually…” “FWB, huh?” Jinyoung nodded, but Youngjae shook his head. “Just… just the benefits I guess. Without the friends…”

That was very strange, Jinyoung thought, but before he could finish his train of thoughts, Youngjae’s seemed to go in a similar direction. “He’s a playboy, huh? Fucks around a lot I guess. Nothing special.” His voice had a bitter note to it, but disappointment was still evident. That’s what Jinyoung meant. “No.” He answered with a frown. “No, not at all.” Youngjae’s lips parted in surprise. They were pretty. His eyes were pretty, too, even if red-rimmed from crying. His skin looked soft from close distance. He was handsome. Jinyoung studied his face thoughtfully.

If Jaebum had an ideal type, this would be it. “Jaebum isn’t one to sleep around.” Jinyoung stated confidently. There had to be something about Youngjae that was different. “Oh fucking hell.” He cursed and startled Jinyoung with his loud voice. He hadn’t seemed capable of so much volume. “Fuck this shit.” He threw the blanket off and jumped to his feet. “Guess I ruined it. Guess I ruined a nice boy. Whatever.” Jinyoung tried not to look while Youngjae strolled through the room naked, collecting his clothes. “You wanna talk about it?” He offered while staring at the wall and heard a scoff.

“Hell no!” Youngjae huffed. After he was done putting his clothes back on, Jinyoung looked at him again. His cheeks were tinted pink in either anger or shame while he stared back. “I shouldn’t have fallen in love with him.” He explained eventually, back to his softer voice. “I shouldn’t have pounced on him like that. I should have accepted that he never even wanted me, but…” He finally looked away and picked up a bag from the floor. He didn’t finish the sentence. He dug out the key from his pocket. The one that has a pink dinosaur charm attached to it – pretty distinguishable- and he threw it in Jinyoung’s general direction, missing the bed big time. “You can tell him he can go find another hole to nut into. I’m not available anymore.” Jinyoung cringed mildly. “…Or don’t. Like I fucking care.” Then he turned away fully and hastily walked out the door.

Jinyoung didn’t stop him, it was obvious he just wanted to go away. He picked up the key and placed it easily visible on the living room dresser where they put their mail and stuff.

It still didn’t seem to make sense.

Jinyoung was sitting at the kitchen table munching on one of three pizzas when he heard the door open and Jaebum shuffle through the hallway. It was silent for a moment, then Jaebum’s voice carried through the apartment. “Youngjae?!” He asked confused and stumbled towards the kitchen door. He peeked through the doorway and found Jinyoung. “Jinyoung, did you? Youngjae? Is he?” He babbled confused, waving the dinosaur around.

“He’s not here anymore.” Jinyoung answered calmly, taking another bite of his cheesy fast food. “He… not anymore?” Jaebum rushed over and sat on the next chair with an urgent expression. He planted his palms flat on the table in front of him, leaning forward, eyes manic. “Why did he and what happened and how?” He wanted to know.

Jinyoung was seriously confused. “Would you tell me who he is?” He asked, raising a brow. Jaebum had the decency to look ashamed. “A boy, I… I know…” He stammered, visibly uncomfortable. “Was he here?” Jinyoung nodded, unable to bear with Jaebum’s obvious distress. “You mean a boy you fuck?”

Jaebum shifted. “Yes, god, yes. Of course, yes, I admit.” He babbled. “Why was he here? What happened?” Jinyoung stopped eating for a moment to think. “I guess… I suppose he was here for a fuck? Like a surprise fuck?” He offered, raising a brow in question and witnessed Jaebum actually, literally, blushing. “Ah… Aha.”

“If you ask me what happened. I’m not really sure?” Jinyoung kept explaining, but slower, chewing in between. “So instead of you he found me. (Jaebum gasped in shock.) And after learning that me, your roommate and best friend, had never heard from him, he must have realized that you don’t see him as a companion of sorts, but more like… maybe a sex doll? Then he was angry and left. That’s how I see it.”

Jaebum stared at him absolutely aghast. “A sex doll?” he repeated, too shrill to not hurt someone’s ears. "He said that?!” Jinyoung rubbed the ear that was closer to Jaebum with a sour expression. “Well not these words exactly. He phrased it something like: A hole to… fuck. Or something, I don’t know man, but you two obviously got some serious issues.”

Finally Jaebum took his arms off the table and slumped backwards into his chair, eyes dead and he huffed. “He…” He grumbled. “He says… ugh… You know. He’s the one who always wants to fuck.” Jinyoung would really love to say “I don’t caaare.” But he’d lost that privilege when he won the who’s-Jaebum’s-best-friend-competition against Jackson. So he nodded as if he were interested. Now that it seemed the real problem was nothing more than a miscommunication, his interest dwindled quickly.

“I wanted to date him so bad… really Jinyoungie. But, like… we can’t talk for two minutes without him getting into my pants or something. I swear it’s so exhausting…” Jaebum whined unhappily. Jinyoung frowned. “Let me guess.” He sighed, rubbing his temple against an oncoming headache. “You never told him that, have you?”

Jaebum’s head piped up like a puppy smelling a hamburger. “Of course not.” He said dismissively. “And I assume he hasn’t told you that he felt used in return has he?” Jaebum shook his head wildly. “God, are you useless. You’re like a match made in heaven.” Jinyoung reached around the table and dug his fingers into Jaebum’s pocket to pull out his phone.

He didn’t say anything. Just gestured and Jaebum actually complied.

A few hours later, Jinyoung regretted every choice he ever made. He lay on the sofa, curled into his blanket on his temporary bed and stared into the darkness, wishing desperately he was deaf.

“You know I just… AH… tried to… AHH to make you… AH AH AH... want me!” Youngjae’s voice thundered through the locked bedroom door and if Jinyoung had ever thought he had a soft, pleasant voice, he couldn’t remember it. Jaebum and him had been friends for almost 15 years and he’d made it all those times without having to listen to him growl and grunt like a rhino in cardio training. And now those peaceful days were over. All the while Youngjae sounded like a damn porn star. He pleaded for almost anything. (‘Kiss me’, ‘Touch me’, ‘Spank me’, ‘Bite me’).

He didn’t know how people solved an argument over their own fucking, but it was the most disgusting thing he ever heard. They moaned their apologies in between the dull thumping sound of the headboard being pushed into the wall and forgave each other while something crashed and shattered on the floor of which Jinyoung assumed it was the nightstand lamp.

Jinyoung bit down on the corner of his blanket and held back his tears while he shoved a hand down his pajamas.

He’d had to move out of his apartment when he discovered the walls were molding inside and Jaebum had allowed him to stay for a while until he found something new. It’d become too comfortable and cheap and he’d stayed way overdue and kind of stopped looking.

Now he knew he needed a new place ASAP, even before Jaebum took him to the side the next morning and told him just that with the most content face he’s ever had.

~*~

Warnings: None, I think.

~*~

Youngjae likes the tunnel. It is not his. It can not grow, it does not whisper. It is a formation of stones that is beyond what he himself can accomplish. It goes under the mountain many steps long and it is darker than under a roof of trees. Youngjae can walk over the mountain, but he likes going through the tunnel. He likes how his steps echo from the walls. He likes how it gets darker and darker until suddenly the sun peeks in from the end. It is his favorite moment of the journey.

The tunnel has not always been here. It is not part of the mountain, but now it is. Now, living things have come to stay under the shadows. Plants and animals that like darkness and they don’t care who made it.

Youngjae did not make it.

The stones are cleanly cut and smoothly polished. And in the middle of the path there are iron lines. Youngjae likes to follow them. For a short period of time, large stinking orcs would roll through the tunnel, fill it with noise and scare the animals. But they are gone now.

Darkness does not bother Youngjae. His eyes see through night, fog, tree and earth. He bends down when he sees a furry creature on the ground. Too bright and too big for this dark place and it is almost lifeless.

He picks it up and studies it. It is not an animal that he knows and it does not breathe. There’s barely a hint of life surrounding it. Like the lingering touch of a breathing animal. It is soft und furry and dirty. He rubs the dust and dirt off and takes it with him.

Warnings: NSFW

I'm in a creative ditch atm. I'm writing backwards, literally deleting more than I am writing new because I'm just not happy w anything.

~*~

When Youngjae says „Get me my phone.” Jaebum can scoff. He can say “Get up yourself you lazy fuck.” He can throw a pillow in his face. When Youngjae says “Pay for my dinner.” Jaebum can huff in annoyance. He can say “You got enough money yourself you cheap fuck.” He can pull his wallet out of Youngjae’s reach.

When Youngjae says “Fuck me.” Jaebum can oblige. He can’t say anything. He can’t resist. It’s arguable if it is in the words or the way he says them. Doesn’t pout, doesn’t get whiny, doesn’t act cute to get his way with Jaebum. It’s clean and sober the way he says those words. Those or a variation of that. “Kiss me.” Youngjae says and Jaebum knows he’s drunk, knows it’s wrong but he does it anyway. He leans in to where Youngjae sits on the edge of his bed and kisses the living shit out of him.

“Touch me.” Youngjae says and Jaebum’s hands find their way around his body without second thought, exploring every little detail even though he knows it inside and out, feeling soft hairs and softer skin and muscles that won’t stop growing and make Youngjae more gorgeous day by day. “Tell me.” Youngjae says, breath ragged from Jaebum’s roaming fingers and prodding tongue. Jaebum tells him. He lost count how many times he did, but he will do it again and again as long as Youngjae keeps asking.

He tells him between moans and whispers. Tells in between biting bruises to his neck and sucking on his nipples. He tells while he’s fingering him open and while settling between his thighs. He tells him, staring down into his dark, hooded eyes and he tells when the bedside lamp is off and he can’t make out his face. He speaks against his skin and lips and into the room.

He tells when he rocks his hips against Youngjae’s bottom and listens to his pleasured noises. When he thrusts and thrusts and hoists his legs over his shoulders bending him in half. And he doesn’t stop telling when Youngjae’s moans become the lewdest, when he tenses and flexes and whines. He tells him, whispering, when he fucks him through his orgasm, hard and deep and comes inside him, intimate and obscene.

Even then he tells him, when he wraps him in his arms and presses butterfly kisses to his face. He tells him through a veil of tears or even, sleepy breathing. He does. Until Youngjae tells him to stop. He stays quiet then and kicks him in the shin for asking to bring him breakfast.

When Youngjae says “Hi honey.” Jaebum swallows the lump in his throat and smiles at her. He can say ‘It’s good to see her’ and ‘Have a nice day’. He can’t tell her. He wants to, but Youngjae says “Don’t tell.” And he doesn’t.

But secretly, when he watches their retreating backs or the door fall close, he tells it, as many times as he wants even though nobody hears.

“I love you, Youngjae.”