#jaebum

Those words slip out of you before you can stop yourself.

Because this room was supposed to be empty. At least, that was what you were hoping to find when you came up here. 

Placed far in the hidden corner upstairs of your brother’s home, the small guest room should have been a safe place. It should have been able to keep you far from the racket happening below. 

As far as you know, the room is rarely used—except as a second storage room where your brother would stash his old personal things once he’s no longer using them or when you need to stay over for the night with no disturbance from your brother and his guests. Apart from the two of you, you’ve never known anyone ever using the room. 

That had been the reason why you went upstairs and straight to here once you got the chance to escape. To get away from the damn party that you wanted no part in, expecting some peace and quiet, and a moment to yourself. 

You never expected to find the room—your safe haven—already occupied. 

“I don’t see any rules telling me to stay out of this place,” the man sitting in the darkness responds to you in a mocking tone. You recognise his voice before you get to see his face, as he is almost completely hidden in the shadows with none of the lights turned on, and with his back resting against the foot of the bed where the lights coming through the window can’t reach him. 

Judging from the slight slur in his speech, and the large bottle of liquor sitting on his side with half of its content mostly gone, you can tell that he already has some alcohol running in his system. Possibly from drinking here all alone while everyone else is trashing your brother’s home. 

He lets out a low chuckle and continues, “And, as far as I know, you don’t live here, so I don’t think you’re one to make the rules anyway.”

You cross your arms, going on the defensive—something that your body has been trained to do since you were a teenager facing the group of rowdy boys that your older brother hung out with back in school. “That’s not what I meant.” 

Another low chuckle comes from him before he finally moves, leaning forward until his face is visible under the streaks of dim light filtering from the hallway behind you. Just as expected, your uninvited guest turns out to be Jaebum, one of your brother’s high school best friends who seems to be hanging out around him still. Seeing the recognition on your face, he shows you a grin that no doubt would have been able to make every girl coming in his path blush from head to toe. 

Of course, you would know this to be true. You are a woman, after all, and you used to be one of those girls who were drawn to them. Not just girls, too. Other seniors used to flock around them, following everything they did at school while vying for their attention. With your brother being a part of their group, you would often find them hanging out at your family’s house after school, either in the living room or your brother’s bedroom, something that everyone else had always been so envious of while you could never find the comfort in as they used to invade your safe space.

Just like what he is doing now. 

You should have expected to find at least one of your brother’s friends to be around when you first came and saw the party happening, knowing that they still hang out together even after years have gone by. You just didn’t expect you were going to come across one of them this way. 

“Why are you here anyway? The party’s downstairs,” you curiously ask him once you’ve gotten over your shock. Seeing him now, you cannot help but picture the way you remember him from all those years ago. Years may have passed, but it doesn’t seem like he has changed all that much. He still seems like the same older boy who once made your stomach flutter whenever he was near or when he gave you a bit of attention. 

“I’m not really in the mood to join the party,” Jaebum says, shrugging, “I should be asking you the same thing. Why aren’t you downstairs with your brother? I thought you drove all the way here to join his party.” 

As if.

You narrow your eyes and scoff, murmuring almost to yourself, “I was supposed to come here to avoid all kinds of parties.”

That was the truth, anyway. While you’ve never specifically celebrated Valentine’s Day before, you’re not someone who has any aversion towards it either. Until recently, when you finally have the reason to. 

Dealing with a breakup only days before Valentine’s Day did that to you. It made you become sceptical and bitter, almost allergic to the love fest happening around you. So you decided that you had enough. Knowing how similar your brother is to you when it comes to Valentine’s Day, you drove hours away to his house, thinking that you would be able to spend the night and have the chance to confide in your brother. 

What a surprise it was for you to find the house packed with his friends and colleagues, with most—if not all of them—wearing pink, partying together with your brother who had his new girl of the season clinging to his side. 

How was I supposed to know that he was so smitten and in love with someone he met while we weren’t in contact that he felt like celebrating tonight? 

“Are you staying or going?” Jaebum asks, pointing at the opened door behind you with his chin, with you still standing on the threshold like a lost kitten. “You’re letting all the noise come in. I came here with just as much need to avoid all the ruckus as much as you do.” 

Realising that he is right, and you are at risk of missing your only chance to hide from your brother and all the excitement happening downstairs, you step deeper into the room, closing the door firmly behind you. The moment you are engulfed in the darkness, however, you immediately begin to regret it. 

Shutting the door only means that you are stuck in the same room with him, with no lights—except for the reflecting streetlights you see coming from the window—and possibly no escape. You look over your shoulder, longing for the brief of peacefulness you found in the hallway, instead of whatever awkwardness waiting for you should you choose to say.  

A low chuckle is heard, and you turn to face your brother’s best friend only to see that he isn’t sharing the same uneasiness you are feeling about this odd situation. 

“Now, that’s better. So are you going to join me? You’re not going to just stand there all night until the party’s over, are you?” Jaebum teases you as he leans back against the bed, getting as much comfortable as he can while he sits on the cold floor. “Come sit here with me. I don’t bite,” he says while tapping the empty spot right next to him, his grin widening when he adds, “Unless you ask me to.” 

You are left with no other options. Saying no to his offer would either send you back to the party downstairs or back to the room you’ll be sleeping in tonight, which is the other guest room that is closer to where the party is since your brother had insisted on keeping you close tonight. Just when you try to imagine yourself turning back around to get back to the party instead of staying, a loud cheer echoes through the house. 

Looks like whatever game they did just ended, you wonder, as another cheer breaks through and people start chanting again, telling you that the party is still far from over. Might as well stay here for now rather than regretting it later. 

“Fine,” you say with a sigh, before lifting the bottle of whiskey in your hand—one that you stole from the makeshift bar that your brother had set up in the kitchen. “I’ll share if you share yours.”

Through the dim light, you see the familiar grin spreading on his face again. “Don’t worry, I’m quite generous when it comes to sharing pleasure,” he teases with a wink, causing your cheeks to burn. 

“Whatever,” you respond, trying your best not to get affected by his presence as you walk over to join him. 

As you settle back against the foot of the bed, staying just an arm’s length away from him to stay close yet still distant enough to feel comfortable, your eyes fall on the bottles sitting next to him. The large bottle of high-quality branded liquor has been reduced to nearly half of its content, and there are a couple of small vodka bottles lying close by, with varying levels of contents—either half drunk, emptied, and only two of them still full.   

Was he really thinking about drinking all of this alone? 

Jaebum tilts his head, noticing the way you are eyeing his drinks. “See anything you’re interested in trying?” 

“No, I’m fine,” you hurriedly answer, then take a long drink straight from your bottle to hide your face. You wince at the strong taste of whiskey, but you tough it out and force yourself to speak calmly as if nothing happened, “You look like you’re trying to drink your entire life away.” 

Jaebum follows your gaze and laughs softly. “Is that how it looks?” he hums, picking up a small, nearly finished bottle of vodka and tossing the rest of its content down his throat. He savours the taste with a groan and says, “Hmmm…maybe I am. ” 

He opens his eyes and looks at you with glossy eyes. Combined with the small smile he is giving you, it’s enough to cause those old familiar flutters to rise in your chest and stomach. You pick up your bottle, taking a mouthful of drink out of it that burns your throat, hoping that it would be enough to wash the feeling down, and maybe cool yourself off before it turns into something more. 

Something completely unbidden.  

It takes only a couple of shared drinks before you finally start sharing each other’s stories, spilling all the heartaches and misfortunes that both of you have been dealing with while living away from home. 

It’s quite surreal to think that both you and Jaebum can find something to relate to and share aside from the booze that you’ve smuggled away from the party. You also find it pleasingly surprising that opening up and talking about your problems turns out to be helpful. 

Even more surprising is that it seems equally helpful for both of you. 

For you, who had just been dumped by your college boyfriend merely months after he started his new job in a different city, claiming that being in a long-distance relationship was a risk he wasn’t willing to take when he was building his career. 

For Jaebum, who had to watch his ex-fiancee marrying someone else just over the weekend, only less than a year from the day they broke off the engagement when she first claimed to be having cold feet about the thought of marriage. 

“Well, that sucks,” is all that you can say once he is done sharing his story. 

Hearing your comment, Jaebum lets out an incredulous laugh. “Really? That’s all you’re going to say after I just opened up about the lowest moment of my life?”  

You only laugh and shrug it off. “What more do you want me to say? Are you hoping for some kind of wise advice? From me? Or a pat on the back while I promise you that everything will be okay?” you retort with a snort, and you don’t miss the way Jaebum rolls his eyes on you. 

“I wish I had more to say, but I’m not good with words and I don’t even know you or your ex enough to comment about your life,” you stop with a bitter chuckle, “—or her poor choices.” 

Leaning back, you let out a deep sigh. You cannot help but realise that despite the different circumstances you both find yourselves in, you can't deny how similar your situations truly are. “But I do know how terrible it feels to know that the person you want to be with isn’t thinking the same about you. It just—” You let out another sigh, and add, ”—sucks, to be the one left behind feeling like you’ve been tossed aside.” 

Jaebum says nothing for a moment but clearly appears to be thinking deeply. “I don’t even know your ex,” he says, “but I can judge—hard—and say that he’s a moron.” 

“My brother said the same.” A bitter chuckle slips out of you when you think about your brother’s reaction when you first told him about the bad breakup. You may not have told your brother all the details about your fallen relationship yet, but he was able to comment about what a fool your ex had been to sacrifice a good relationship that he had spent years building with you for a new job that he had barely dedicated a month of his time, much less his entire life to.

But was the relationship you had with him really all that good? Was it enough for you to hold on to those memories as much as you did?

Looking up to the dark ceiling above you, you let your mind wander, as if you can see your entire life written somewhere up there. “I’ve been trying to think of him the same way but it’s hard to do it when I keep remembering all the good things we shared. They might not have been much, but the good memories keep overlapping with all the bad ones just when I try to forget them.”

Jaebum scoffs lightly from your side and nods. “Unfortunately, I can agree on that one.”

To hear the tone in his voice as he says that, and see the haunted look in his eyes when you look at him, an ache pulses in your chest. At the same time, you are surprised to find some comfort just by being here with him, listening to him opening up to you while sharing your own story in a way you haven’t been able to do with anyone else—allowing your lonely, broken souls to meet each other’s match. 

Just as silence forms thickly around you, you find yourself looking far back into a distant past and seeing yourself when you were younger. You can also Jaebum then, existing alongside your brother’s other close friends who seemed hard to reach, much less to talk to. 

Not the same way you’re doing it now, anyway. 

“You know, I always thought you guys were snobs back then. Or maybe I was too intimidated by you. You were all popular in school, and my brother’s warning to stay away from you guys didn’t help much in making me feel less wary about getting close.” 

Jaebum snaps a look at you and barks out a laugh. “Wait—What? What did your brother say about us?” 

You shrug, smiling when you explain with a chuckle, “He just said it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to get close to you guys. Told me to stay away and not fall for any of your charms and get tricked into joining your band of groupies.” 

Once again, Jaebum laughs. “Why the fuck would he say something like that?” 

“Who knows?” you answer with a shrug, feigning innocence as you bite back a smile. 

Because you know exactly why your brother would give you such a warning. 

Compared to your older brother, who was considered one of the most popular kids at school, you were way more inexperienced—both in socialising with people and in relationships. 

Your brother may have managed to keep his dating life private—from you, at least—yet the same couldn’t be said about his close friends. Jaebum and the others were quite notorious when it involved the rotation of girls they were constantly seen dating and hanging out with. Most of the boys were known as players, always spreading their charms to anyone around while breaking hearts left and right. 

“I guess he was just looking out for me,” you finally admit out loud, realising that your brother may have caught your eyes wandering whenever his friends were close. It was hard not to pay attention when you had these attractive seniors hanging around nearby, sometimes even at your home with your brother. “Even if he used to tease me, he’s still my older brother, after all.” 

Jaebum lets out a scoff and laughs. “That’s funny, seeing that he gave us all different kinds of warning when it came to you.” 

“What do you mean? What kind of warning?” 

Turning his head, Jaebum’s grin widens when he sees your reaction. “He told us that you were off limits. That we shouldn’t even think about talking or flirting with you, much less to ask you out.” Your jaw drops, which only makes him laugh. “Some of us suspected that Bambam had this silly crush on you back then, but was quick to back off after your brother warned us to stay away.” 

Surprised to hear this, you cannot help but laugh. It’s not unusual for your brother to meddle with your business. Back then, being a curious teenager, having a meddling older brother felt like a burden. You used to hate it growing up, even if you knew that he only had nothing but good intentions to keep you safe from harm. Looking back at it now as an adult, you only think that the whole situation is hilarious. 

“Can’t believe that you guys were so afraid of my brother to follow his silly rules,” you gently mock him while shaking your head. 

“Hey! That’s not fair! Have you ever seen your brother when he got mad? Like, really mad?” Jaebum defends himself. 

You only laugh in return, knowing exactly what he is talking about. You have seen your older brother’s other side that shows up whenever he is angry, and it’s not often that he may overreact over trivial things that are out of his control. But it doesn’t stop you from finding it funny for a group of bad boys to be so afraid of your brother to not risk breaking his rules. 

Not that you believe that you ever had any chance with these boys in the past. You never even dreamed of having any of them make a move on you, much less pay attention to you. You know exactly what kind of girls they were attracted to, and you never saw yourself as anything remotely on par with any of those girls. 

“I thought you were tough guys who’d love a challenge. At least, if I remember correctly, that was something that some of you used to brag about back then.” 

“You’re one to talk,” Jaebum scoffs. “Have you ever taken a risk, even knowing the consequences and not knowing if it’s going to be worth it?” 

You stop for a moment to think. “Well—” 

You feel hesitant to answer, only because your mind immediately goes to the things you’ve done only to end up having your heart, hope, and dreams broken to pieces as a result. The latest risk you’ve taken, especially, involved giving your heart to a senior you met at college—someone who was smarter, more popular—that you kept questioning if you were living a dream. You’ve even come close to giving up your dream, ready to take a huge risk of moving to another city and starting over just to be with that person.

And look at where it has gotten you now. Abandoned and forgotten, left to pick up all the broken pieces, only because he wasn’t willing to take the same risk to be with you. 

When you still have no answer, Jaebum lets out a scoff. “I knew it. What would a strait-laced girl like you know about taking risks? You should try to live out your life a little, be daring, then you can argue with me about what taking risks truly means.” 

You hear what he is saying, yet your mind is stuck on one simple detail. You’ve never really talked to him so openly before, so you’ve never known how he really sees you as a person. Hearing it coming from him only makes you reflect on yourself the way you never did before. 

Strait-laced? You wonder to yourself. Is that really how people see me?

You must admit that it doesn’t make you feel good to be seen that way. Having good grades throughout school and college and being a nice girl growing up doesn’t make you a prude. 

“Hey, I’ve done stuff!” You turn to face him and start defending yourself. “Unlike you, I’ve done real daring stuff while I was away for college. I climbed a rocky mountain after graduation and built camp on the rocky peaks while there was a storm. I did bungee jumping and paragliding when I went to Bali last summer. I went surfing and—” 

Jaebum raises his hands in surrender mode and laughs, cutting you off before you can continue listing all the extreme things you’ve tried ever since you left home. “Okay, daredevil. So you took risks against nature. That’s great and all, but I’m talking about the other risks. Much like how you’re daring me to cross your brother.” 

You swallow hard, knowing exactly what he is saying. You look away when you start feeling deep regret over your past decisions and heartaches weighing heavy in your chest. “Oh, have I done those as well.” 

Jaebum must have noticed something shifting in your mood, because his gaze softens. So does his voice when he asks, “Was it worth it?” 

You let out a bitter laugh. “Would I be here planning to drink my ass off until I forget my name if it was?” 

A knowing look passes over his gaze. “Your last break up.” He nods, then raises his bottle to knock it against yours. “Maybe you were betting on the wrong things to take a risk on.” 

You can only smile. “And of course, you would know about it.” 

The low chuckle that he gives as a response sounds hollow. “I sure do.” 

Leaning back against the bed again, you take a drink from your bottle—suddenly noticing that you may have gone through more than half of it—and gently ask him, “Tell me then, how do I know what kind of risk I can bet on which I won’t be regretting later on?” 

“You know that’s not how it works,” Jaebum says with a low chuckle, “And I don’t think I’m the right person to teach you something like that.” 

“Right,” you hum to yourself, suddenly realising how silly it is for you to ask him for such advice. 

“Maybe you can start small. Instead of diving directly into something serious like a relationship or making plans to build a future with the first person you meet who gives you attention.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Such as?” 

“Ever been on a one-night stand?” 

You burst out laughing. “What?” 

“No? Never? Yeah, I don’t think so,” he says while shaking his head. While he is right in assuming your lack of experience in that field, it doesn’t stop you from wanting to defend yourself. 

“Hey, wait a min—” 

“How about casual flings? Anything other than your serious relationships? Ever been in one?” 

You open your mouth to answer, only to immediately shut it back up before admitting loudly, “No, not really.” 

He nods. “I figured.” 

Your jaw drops. You look at him with narrowed eyes. “What does that supposed to mean?” 

He tilts his head as he looks at you. At this point, you are beginning to dread the way his grin seems so enticing, and how his low voice is starting to make you feel things inside when he speaks. “It’s just that I can’t see you hooking up with random people just for fun.” 

You bite your lips, hating the fact that he is right. You hate knowing he can read you easily even when he barely knows you aside from being his best friend’s sister. But something must have gone wrong with your head—or perhaps you’ve drunk too much alcohol tonight—because you cannot stop thinking about what he is trying to say. 

“You’re right, it’s not something that I can see myself getting into,” you admit with a small voice, as you look back into your life and wonder how different it would have been for you if you weren’t someone who feels too much, and too deeply, when it comes to relationships. 

“Maybe I should change that,” you finally say, almost to yourself rather than Jaebum. Still, it doesn’t miss Jaebum’s attention that he whips his head towards you.

“Huh? What do you mean?” 

You ignore him, already getting too deep in your thoughts—perhaps something that you shouldn’t be doing when you have alcohol in your system. “I’m saying that maybe you’re right.” 

“Wait, I didn’t say anything,” Jaebum quickly interjects. 

“I never gave casual relationships or hooking up any thought because I’m afraid I’d get emotionally attached, like most girls do,” you turn to him and add, “I’m sure you know this too.” 

Jaebum only raises his eyebrows, knowing that you are referring to his history of hooking up with random girls in the past—along with the series of drama which followed every time he ended a fling—and he just lets you continue. “But maybe that needs to change. That’s a risk that I’ve never taken before, but at least I now know not to get my emotions involved.” 

He laughs, almost in disbelief. “Are you sure about that?” 

“I am,” you stubbornly answer, “because I’ve sworn to keep away from love. Because I’m done with it. From now on, love is completely banned from my life. No more.” 

You take a chug out of your drink and continue to ramble before Jaebum can say anything. “But that doesn’t mean that I can't have fun, right? You said it yourself, that I need to live a little, so that’s what I’m going to do.” 

You can hear Jaebum chuckling from beside you. “Alright, daredevil,” he teasingly says, “And how are you supposed to do that?” You can tell without looking that Jaebum is narrowing his eyes on you when he sounds sceptical. 

So you turn to him, giving him a sweet smile as you explain, “There are people downstairs that I may not see again in the future, right? I could just walk downstairs and pick out someone I’m attracted to and have one wild night before I get home.” 

The more you speak, the more you feel doubtful, but you push it down and take pleasure in the way Jaebum’s eyes keep widening the more he listens. But as the excitement grows on you, so does the pounding in your head. Maybe you’ve had too much to drink already. “Although I might have to wait a minute before going down there to join the crowd of people. I need to wait until my head stops spinning.” 

He lets out a low scoff and shakes his head at you. “You don’t have to go that far.” 

“As a matter of fact, I think—no, I believe I do need to do this,” you cut him off. “I’m done living by the rules and being afraid to take risks that don’t go with my life planning.” Pointing the bottle in your hand his way, you continue to speak, “You were the one who put these ideas in my head, so don’t bother stopping me.” 

Chuckling softly, Jaebum leans closer. “That’s not what I was saying,” he gently says, as if he can read your thoughts and knows that you aren’t exactly sure about what you are saying. 

“What did you mean, then?” 

Jaebum only stares at you with a look that makes you feel like he is trying to strip down every layer you have—not of your clothes, but your truth. 

He softly hums before he finally speaks again. “I’m saying that maybe you don’t have to,” he says, once again with that voice of his that would easily draw people to him. Maybe have women drop their panties for him, even. But there is something different now when he speaks to you slowly, with his glossy eyes looking deeply into yours. 

“I don’t have to do—what?”

“You don’t have to go through the crowds of drunk people downstairs to find someone, is all I’m saying. Aren’t you worried about your brother finding out what you’re up to? He’s still down there leading the party, isn’t he?”

As if the party itself can hear him, a loud cheer erupts from downstairs, answering his question. You can picture your brother, always the life of the party, being in the center of it. You can already imagine him pulling you to join him the moment he sees you returning to the living room. You have lost track of time, and you quickly realise that your brother can notice anytime that you’ve been gone quite a while and that he might start looking for you soon. 

“Then, what should I do?” 

Not a word comes from him while you are starting to doubt anything can really happen tonight. Only seconds ago, you felt like you had found your new self. But you know that this drunken resolution will lead to nothing more once you are sober. Before your mind can get into any further wanderings, Jaebum suddenly shifts closer. You turn to find his face already close to yours, while he has his arm resting behind your back and the other winding around your waist. 

Surprised at the sudden closeness, you make no move to push him away. Your heart makes a stupid, unexpected leap in your chest, which only accelerates when he starts speaking to you in a low, sultry voice, “You could just look somewhere closer instead of going down there. It’s not like you don’t have a willing participant already available nearby.”

You blink, and blink again, your mind taking its sweet time processing his words that everything seems meaningless. Surely, he couldn’t have meant—

“And who might that be?” you ask with a small voice, which only seems to amuse him. 

You watch the grin on his face growing wider before he teases you, “Who else is here? I don’t see anyone else, do you?” 

“Hah,” you let out a sarcastic laugh, still refusing to believe what you are hearing, even if your heart is beginning to react, going out of control with its rapid beating. “Stop joking. Now you’re only mocking me.” 

“I wish I was joking, but I know what I’m asking,” Jaebum says with a smile on his face, his voice lowering when he asks, “Is it really that hard to believe that I’d make such an offer?” 

Before you can process what he is saying, Jaebum leans closer, close enough until you can feel his warm breath falling against your lips. The scent of his cologne, mixed with the strong smell of booze, surrounds you as he keeps you trapped between the foot of the bed and his hard body hovering close so that you can feel his heat. 

“It makes perfect sense, don’t you think?” he asks you, already sounding convincing before he even starts laying out his offer, “We’ve both been scorned by our past experience, and while we’ve learned not to fall for it again, we both still have needs. I still need to forget, which drinking seemed to fail in doing, and you need to discover this new side of you without worrying about getting attached. Maybe I can teach you a thing or two about it since I know just exactly how to do it. And you know who I am, so you’d know how to find me and kick my butt off in case you regret it in the morning.” 

We’re still not friends, and not close enough for that level of trust, is what you want to say to him. 

But the words refuse to leave your lips, and your mind is getting hazy from how close he is getting. His nose brushes against yours, and your heart once again makes a giant leap which is so hard to ignore. He tilts his head, his lips coming closer to yours for a little tease, making your lips tingle. 

“Well? Come on, think about it,” he murmurs, with his lips hovering close but not enough to touch. Yet, between your hazy mind and the alarm bells ringing inside your head—warning you about your brother and his rules, about how much of a bad idea this is—you can feel yourself drawn into it. Drawn into him. 

“I think—” you barely manage to say, “This is going to be a bad idea.” You lift your gaze to look into his eyes and immediately feel like you are drowning in the depth of his gaze. 

Jaebum bites his lips while lowering his gaze. “What if I can change your mind?” 

“What are you planning—oh!” 

Whatever it was that you wanted to say dies on your tongue when Jaebum presses his lips on yours. He tenderly moulds his lips against yours, instead of devouring them in a heated kiss. Yet it’s still enough to steal words from your mouth. 

I must be going crazy, is the last thing that comes across your mind before you wrap your arms around his neck and return the kiss, allowing yourself to melt into his heat. You can feel him smiling into the kiss, pleased to know that he has practically won you over as you press your lips harder against his. 

As he deepens the kiss, the world around you seems like it’s spinning. It takes a moment before you realise that your whole body is tilting backwards, pushed under his weight as he gently lowers you back on the floor. The dust-covered carpet cushions your weight as you rest on your back. While you are trying to get comfortable, your eyes flutter open to see him slowly crawling over you. 

A soft moan slips out of you as he reclaims your mouth again. His tongue reaches inside, as if demanding you to pay attention to him instead of letting your mind wander and let it get filled with doubt. He runs his hands down your waist, his chest pressing you down against the hard floor, and then he stops when you protest with a whimper when your back starts rubbing against the rough carpet beneath you. 

“Hmmm, this won’t do,” he murmurs against your lips, his eyes searching your face to find any sign of discomfort. With a hum, he glances over to the bed and pushes himself up. 

The world around you starts spinning once again as Jaebum scoops you up from the floor and lifts you in his arms. You barely have the chance to hold on when he moves towards the bed and gently lays you down on the mattress. The sheets feel cold beneath you, yet he quickly makes it up with his warmth when he joins you. 

The sight of him hovering above you, with his eyes glowing in the dark, full of dark intent, feels like a part of a fever dream. Everything that he said he wanted to do to you, you can see it in his gaze. It’s enough to leave you breathless, to make you feel hot inside. To feel like you are wanted. 

A grin forms on his face as he asks, “Now, where were we?” 

Once again, the crippling doubt inside you holds you back, when you can easily pull him down to you and take over. “You were trying to convince me,” you answer with a whisper, when you wish to feel his kiss again so he can stop you from thinking so hard.

“Did I do a good job, then?” 

You take a deep breath. “I—” you try to answer, but the moment you see the look he is giving you, everything inside you, including your sane mind, simply stops working. 

Outside, coming all the way from downstairs, the music is still blaring loudly the later it gets in the night. The sound of people dancing, chatting, and cheering over some sort of drinking game can be heard through the thick walls. 

But here, the air is getting thick with tension, and it’s hard to focus on anything else when you are pressed down against the hard mattress beneath you, and you have your brother’s best friend hovering on top of you with a sick, teasing grin on his face. 

And oh, how much you struggle to keep your eyes away from those enticing lips, knowing how good they feel when they are pressed against yours. 

All you have to do is lean closer or pull him down to you, and you can have that kiss once again. 

“So? What do you say?” he asks again while his gaze moves to your lips, lingering for a few seconds too long as he catches you licking your lips, tasting the ghost of his kiss. “It’s a one-time offer, and time is ticking. How much longer do you think before your brother comes up here and catches us together?” 

You cannot help but grin at the mention of your brother. “Aren’t you afraid that he might just do that and break your nose again like he did years ago?” you ask, referring to the infamous incident in the past when they had a massive fight over a silly girl who turned out to be playing these boys around—the perfect reverse play of what they used to do to the girls at school who worshipped the ground they walked on.

Jaebum only laughs it off, and your heart skips a beat when you realise how much his voice has changed over the years. And how much you still love hearing it the same way you did then. 

“I think it’ll be worth the risk. As long as you’re in.” 

Worth the risk. 

Yeah, there’s nothing stopping your heart from trying to break free from your chest now that you hear such words. You shouldn’t believe it. But you want to believe it. You want to believe that he thinks you are worth risking your brother’s wrath. 

“Well? Are you in? Or are you going to walk out that door and forget everything we just talked about?” 

You bite your lip as you consider your options. His offer is tempting, but are you brave enough to take that risk? 

One night. No attachment. No promises. And you get to leave this place free of your pent-up frustrations and needs. Maybe dare yourself to feel some pleasure from the one you are forbidden to touch.

Even if you might have to ignore the familiar flutters in your chest rising the more you look at him—the same way it used to happen all those years ago whenever you saw him when he was hanging out with your older brother. 

“Not a chance,” you answer him with a grin, before you lift your legs and wrap them around his waist, your arms coming around his neck as you pull him down towards you. “Game on.”  

Wearing a victorious smile on his face, Jaebum claims your mouth in a kiss, and your entire body softens. He pushes his tongue to deepen the kiss, taking possession of every last bit of doubt you might still have left until there is nothing more but lust and passion and all you can feel is the need you want him to fulfil. 

Clutching the back of his shirt, you begin to pull it upward, and he slips down to let you strip him off of it before he does the same with your top. Tossing your blouse away, Jaebum begins crawling down, his lips tracing the length of your neck on his way down, brushing gently on your breasts as he peels your lacy bra off of your skin. Then he continues making his way down, his hands grabbing hold of the waistband of your pants before tucking them down your legs, taking your flimsy panties along with it. 

Cold breeze washes over your skin once you are left bare and naked on the bed, but it’s quickly replaced by the heat of his gaze perusing you with a look of hunger written on his face. He runs his hands down your waist, to your hips, sliding them under your thighs as he bends down to trace your skin with his kisses. You feel his mouth moving close to your center, causing your heartbeat to pick up its pace. 

He doesn’t waste his time teasing you. Tightening his grip on your thighs, he smoothly dives between your legs, burying his face at the center of your heat. 

A moan slips through your lips when you feel his tongue slipping through your wet folds. You feel his mouth wrapping itself around your clit and giving it a suck, causing your back to arch and a louder moan comes rumbling out of you when a delectable rush comes flowing through your body. Your hand clumsily land on his head, fingers winding through the strands of his hair as you search for something to hold on to while you rock your hips against his lips. 

You hear him chuckling softly and moaning against your heat, before he begins to move his tongue and mouth more aggressively, alternating between pushing his tongue into your warmth and licking your arousal to suckling on your throbbing clit. His actions drive you over to the edge, your orgasm tearing your body as you continue to rock against his face, following the rhythm of your pulse. 

It comes too quickly, stemmed from your pent-up frustrations and nerves, yet neither of you has yet to have enough. Finger clenching tightly on the strands of his hair, you push his face to your quivering center, wordlessly telling him not to stop. With a hum, Jaebum continues—lapping, licking, and sucking—and adds his fingers into the mix, pushing them deeply through your pulsing walls and causing another dynamic orgasm to tear through your body. 

“Jaebum…fuck!” you curse between your cries of pleasure, unable to hold your voice down. 

Yet he makes no sign of stopping. The sounds you are making only seem to be urging him on, as he continues working his mouth and fingers on your heat. 

It isn’t until moments later, as the spasms coming out of your center begin to subside, that Jaebum finally lets you go. With one last kiss on your soaking folds, he pulls away and shifts back until he reaches the foot of the bed. 

As he rises on his feet, you open your eyes to look at him, marvelling at the sight of him—his chest glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, his messy hair that comes from the work of your fingers, and his slick lips, still wet from your release. 

“I wish I could take a picture of you right now,” he murmurs while he starts working on his belt and pants, his eyes never wavering from you as he takes everything off. 

Keeping your gaze on him, you follow every movement as the final pieces of clothing leave his skin. Your breath catches at the sight of his thick shaft bobbing out of its restraint. You can almost see it twitching and pulsing as Jaebum continues to look at you, his gaze runs from the tip of your toes to your hair, going back and forth as he takes his time to get his fill of the image of you lying vulnerable on the cold bed. 

This is happening, you tell yourself as you inhale a deep breath. You cannot believe that you are seconds away from actually fucking your brother’s best friend. It feels hot and naughty—risky—but the thought itself is so damn enticing that your body is humming with new desire. 

Jaebum licks his lips and wraps his hand around his rigid cock. His gaze remains on you as he slowly strokes himself, getting himself harder. The sight of him touching himself while watching you does wild things to your mind. It feels exhilarating, and you don’t even question if this sensation has anything to do with the drink you had earlier, knowing that this is all because of him. 

Feeling brazen under his gaze, you move your hands to trace your skin, going up until you reach your bare breasts. Gently, you cup the soft flesh with your palms and begin kneading, and embrace the waves of heat rolling through your body. The sensation gets stronger when you watch him licking his lips, his hand moving slightly faster, as if watching you has put him in a trance. 

“Are you going to just stand there and watch? Or am I going to have to do this alone?” you tease him with a low voice that sounds completely unfamiliar to your own ears, while slowly folding your legs up, spreading them open to show him where you want him to be. 

A groan slips out of his lips as he watches you, enthralled, and Jaebum hastily climbs the bed, moving swiftly to cover your body with his. “I already promised that I’ll be the one showing you everything,” he grumbles as he covers your wrists with his hands and gently pulls them away from your chest. Holding your wrists together in one hand, he brings them over your head and keeps them there. 

“Hold still,” he whispers, as if restraining you wouldn’t be enough to keep you from moving. “And try to keep your voice down this time. We don’t know if anyone is going to find their way up here.” 

He covers your mouth with his and your body relaxes against his as you lean into the kiss. He presses you down into the bed under his weight and starts running his free hand down your body. You feel his touch on your breast, already sensitive after your teasing touch, and your chest arches into his palm. 

Jaebum pinches your nipples, and then he bends down, his mouth capturing one peak after another, tongue swirling around the tips until they become hard and raw. 

“Ah, fuck—” you curse with a gasp when each brush of mouth and finger sends delicate sparks that travel all the way down to your core. Everything inside you throbs—not of pain, but pleasure—and you can no longer hold back the cries coming out of your lips when Jaebum latches on one nipple and gives a light bite. 

Hearing your voice, Jaebum releases his mouth from your throbbing nub with a pop and pulls back just enough for you to look at his face. Under the shadows of the limited lights filtering through the windows, his gaze feels intimidating, yet enthralling at the same time. The way he looks at you makes you feel desirable that it unleashes everything inside you that you never knew existed.

“I told you to keep your voice down,” he complains with a deep voice that sounds almost like a growl. “Anyone can hear you if they get anywhere close, and it won’t be long for your brother to find out what we’re doing.” 

“I thought you were willing to risk it?” you tease him, which only makes his eyes grow darker. 

“Are you challenging me?” he asks you with a low voice. It stirs the insides of your belly, yet you ignore it for the moment and shrug playfully. 

“What if I am?” 

A low chuckle rumbles from him. There is a dark glint in his eyes as he gently pulls your thigh up, folding your leg until your hips are slightly lifted from the bed. A wicked smile spreads on his face as he leans down, pressing his lips on the corner of your lips and murmurs, “Naughty girl.” 

Anticipating a kiss, you never expect to feel pain flashing from the side of your bare bottom, inflicted by none other than his wandering palm. 

“Hey!” 

Opening your eyes widely, you see him grinning with pride. He tightens his hold on your wrists to keep you still as you wriggle beneath him while he runs his other hand around the burn from his unwarranted smacking.

“What? Don’t naughty girls deserve to be punished and spanked?” 

Something sparks inside you. While you are more inexperienced compared to him, you have learned about a variety of sex plays that one could enjoy in bed to know what he is doing. “Oh, so you like that kind of game, huh?” 

Jeabum bites your bottom lip. “It’s not a game, baby. I like to be in control,” he murmurs, then lifts his head to look into your eyes to ask, “Are you afraid of me? Will that scare you?” 

Nibbling your lips, you consider his words. You’ve never known that pain could be so pleasing. Your skin still burns after the impact of his light spanking, yet it seems to amplify the pleasure pulsing right inside your core when the pain is slowly subsiding under his incessant touch. 

“No,” you answer with a whimper, “Not at all.” You stop fighting his restraint and instead use it as leverage as you push your hips upward, taunting him, “Come on, show me how you’re going to punish me for being bad.” 

“Fuck,” he chuckles nervously, stunned, but is quick to recover as he folds your legs up and smacks the other side of your butt in response. A sharp gasp leaves your lips when you feel the sting, which turns into a soft sigh as he gently rubs the pain away, giving you a brief moment of respite before landing another smack near the tender skin that he first touched. 

Jaebum repeats the light smacking a couple of more times, going back and forth from one side to another, always followed by gentle touches to soothe the pain away. By the time he is done, the pain no longer stings so badly. The throbbing on your skin has travelled deep into your center, replacing every bit of pain with pleasure so raw that is barely comprehensible to your mind.

“Oh, you liked it, didn’t you?” Jaebum teases you with a low whisper, chuckling softly at the way you are rocking your hips against his palm. Letting go of your hand, he holds down your hips and slips his fingers between your folds, humming softly as he is met with your slick arousal. 

“Look at you, getting hot and wet after a bit of spanking. I never expected that you would have this wanton side hidden under your good girl facade,” he keeps muttering as he continues pushing his fingers inside your heat, moving them between your throbbing walls at a languid pace while you begin rocking back into his fingers. “I kind of like this side of you.” 

You can barely hear his voice at this point. Your mind is blinded by the sensations you are feeling. Incoherent noises keep coming out of your lips, and your body is moving on its own, chasing for every bit of pleasure you can get from his touch. 

Jaebum bends down, pressing his lips on the tip of your breasts. “Fuck, I want to be inside you so bad, baby,” he mutters breathlessly between giving your nipples teasing kisses. The touch of his lips feels distracting, along with the steady thrusts of his fingers inside your heat as pleasure rocks through your body, making it hard for you to focus on his words. Yet you still don’t miss what he is trying to say.

Rocking your hips against his, you look up through your bleary eyes and whisper, “Yes, please. I need you…inside me…now.” 

You are not one to beg for anything. Ever. Nothing like this. But the need to feel him is clawing at your chest. You want him. Your body needs him. And there is nothing that can stop you from begging him to let you have him. 

Jaebum says nothing, but his actions are enough to answer your plea. Pushing his fingers deeper, he presses his thumb against your clit, rubbing the flesh just enough to send your body spiralling towards the edge. 

Trying your best to hold back your cries, you bite your lip and bury your fingers on his shoulders. But Jaebum isn’t one to let you go off easily. With his mouth still working around your breast, he gives your nipple a lick, before capturing the hardened nub between his mouth. You feel him humming against your skin, right around your puckered flesh, before a searing pain sparks across your body when he bites down. 

“Ah…fuck. Jaebum!” 

Screaming out his name, you almost cry as your orgasm tears right through your body. While it’s not yet enough to satiate your need, it is still enough to make you feel like you are floating up high. Every cell in your body sings, all coming alive under his touch, and the heat unfolding in your core spreads like wildfire. 

Before you can recover, Jaebum has already made his move. Looking pleased with himself, a smile spreads on Jaebum’s face as he pulls back, dragging his fingers carefully out of your pulsing heat, leaving behind the rapid throbbing inside you to fill the void he left behind. 

Without wasting any more time, he rises on the bed and pulls your ankles up to his shoulders, keeping your hips elevated. Then he presses forward and drives his full length into your quivering core with one firm thrust. You cry out loudly at the force of his thrust. You may have gotten slick and wet enough for him to slide in easily, but your pussy is still sensitive after the multiple orgasms that the intrusion drives a delicious pain that rocks your entire body. 

Your back arches off the bed, and he is quickly drawn towards your full breasts as they once again rise before his eyes. His hand that isn’t holding your thigh up reaches down to give your soft flesh a firm hold.

He gives your breast a gentle knead, taking away your attention from the tightness down below as he begins to fuck you hard with deep rhythmic thrusts, his hard shaft plundering your body. 

“Oh…oh, God!” you keep sputtering random words when you feel the pleasure rising inside you like a tidal wave.

He continues driving into you, getting deeper with each thrust and sending you almost slipping on the bed. His hands move down, gripping your hips to pull you back to him before you are pushed all the way back to the end of the bed. Driving you back against him allows him to get deeper. You feel the force knocking the air out of your chest, while waves of pleasure keep rolling through your body with each thrust, each rock of his hips, and you find yourself already hanging over the edge of your climax. 

You reach up, grasping a hold of his strong arms as you join the rhythm of his thrusts, rocking and pushing against him at the same pace, until you begin to feel the ripples of your climax rising, uncoiling, ready to devour you as you quickly reach for the edge. 

Opening his eyes, Jaebum drops one of your legs, keeping hold of the other just to keep you spread open for him as he bends forward, enveloping your body with his. His mouth finds yours then, kissing you deeply to swallow the sounds of your moans. Then his lips begin to move away, going down your chin, crawling its way to the column of your throat, before going up again to capture your earlobe. 

“I’ve always wanted to fuck you for so long,” he whispers to your ear, too soft of a voice for such dirty words that it makes your head spin hearing it coming from him. Then he thrusts forward, pressing deeper before he begins rocking again, hard and fast, he continues pumping his thick cock into the depth of your warmth. “Fuck, you feel so damn good!” 

You give in to the rising pleasure, your head falling back into the pillows while your chest once again rises and arches with how intense it feels. Your mind is filled with bliss, that you can barely focus on his words, or anything else that is happening around you. 

The party below seems so far away, even if you can still hear the beat of the music vibrating through the floor and walls. But none of it matters now. What matters to you right now is him; the pace of his thrusts that continue relentlessly without fail, moving faster and harder, and the way he is working your body with his expert hands. 

The grip that he has on your hips feels unyielding, anchoring you to him while denying you escape as he chases for his climax. You can feel his fingers pressing harder into your skin, nails scrapping on your soft flesh, no doubt leaving some marks and indents that you may find much later on once everything is over. 

“Are you close?” he breathlessly asks while moaning, showing you signs of his coming release. 

The answer coming out of your mouth sounds like a sharp cry, “Mmmh—yes!” 

Jaebum captures your chin and turns your face to look at him. “Keep your eyes on the door. You’ve been loud for a while now, and I know you didn’t lock the door when you came in,” he gently says, grinning as realisation dawns on you. He’s right. That was quite a risk to take for you to enter the room without locking and going further with this whole thing without checking things over. Fear grips at your chest, though it only intensifies the pulsing happening down below, right here he is burying his cock into. 

“What would your brother think if he sees you like this, writhing like a pure, little nymph and taking my hard cock deep inside your pussy?” Jaebum questions you with a voice so low it almost sounds like a growl. 

You have no idea which triggers the most delightful, yet the most carnal pleasure to roll through your body; the deep voice which vibrates from his chest, his dirty words that are planting these wicked images in your mind, the steady thrusts of his cock inside your heat, or the visual image of getting caught fucking your brother’s best friend, in your brother’s house, while people are partying downstairs and most possibly hanging out in the other rooms present on this floor.

“Fuck, you’re tightening around me. Thinking about getting caught turns you on, huh?” Jaebum says with a furious grunt, yet without missing a single thrust as he rocks his body against yours. He pushes deep and shudders, just as your walls are clenching tight around him. 

“Oh, yeah. That’s it, baby.” 

He keeps muttering the same words over and over again, coming together with his incessant thrusts. You watch as his eyebrows crease, as the veins in his neck are straining, his breathing laboured heavily, and the sounds he keeps making are mixed with a series of moans. You can feel the telltale signs of his release pulsing inside your depth, going in the same rhythm as yours as it begins to rapidly build up inside you. 

Getting lost in the pleasure, Jaebum digs his fingers into your hips and thighs as he continues to savagely pound into you. When once again his body shudders, your body pleasantly trembles at the same time. 

“Look at me, baby,” his strained voice growls, demanding your attention. And you simply give it to him, wanting to look at the one who is giving you this carnal pleasure right in the eyes just to convince yourself that this is real. 

Once your eyes are on him, your body is giving in to the pleasure, Jaebum moves his hand between your rocking bodies. You feel a slight pressure on your throbbing clit as his thumb finds your sensitive bud, and you can feel your muscles clamping around his cock, sucking around his girth as he slides in and out of you at a rapid pace. 

“Come for me, baby,” he growls, just in time you feel the coil in your stomach snapping, then he gives your clit a sharp flick while he buries himself deep inside you. “Come.” 

Under his command, you tip over the edge, shattering into a million pieces that shoot up through you like a fountain. Your chest feels tight when you scream out your climax, yet neither of you cares to stop it as he joins you with his deep moans. Jaebum continues giving you a couple of more thrusts, until you feel him shuddering at the same time your whole body quakes with your final release, and he joins you with a loud shout coming out of his lips, the warmth of his cum filling your tight walls that it almost sends you to another orgasm. 

You almost lose your sense of balance, when you can barely recognise between left and right, top to bottom, until you feel your body—now all hot and covered with sweat—pressing against the sheets beneath you, all messed up under your weight and the rigorous fucking, and the slickness of his cum seeping out of your throbbing center. 

When you feel him lowering your trembling leg down to the mattress, you slowly open your eyes, finding Jaebum bringing one of your hands to his lips. He kisses your wrist, before stepping away to grab his discarded shirt to start cleaning all the mess pooling on the apex of your thighs. 

“Do you think we were too loud?” you whisper to him once he is done and joins you back on the bed, lying right beside you with a content sigh. 

The sounds from the party below have started to grow distant, a sign that the party is slowly winding down, but not completely ending just yet. 

While the rest of the house is still filled with the remaining noises from the party, the room is filled with the silence that falls heavy once all the delirium comes to a halt. 

As you lie there on the bed, with the shards of your climax still continuing to course through your limbs while you are struggling to control your breath, you feel your body warming up with contentment and the presence of Jaebum’s body heat as he pulls you close to his chest. 

Meanwhile, your mind seems to have sobered up, allowing you to process everything that had just happened. 

As if he can feel the gears in your brain working hard, Jaebum shifts on the bed, and once again his face comes into view. 

“Want to get out of here? My new place is within walking distance from here. Maybe we can continue where we left off and finish the rest of the alcohol we still have before your brother catches us with the stolen goods.”

His offer seems genuine. It also provides a chance to escape the possibility of having to deal with reality, and everything else that involves your brother and facing the consequences of your actions. And you do still have some bottles to finish. 

“I like that idea.” 

Your body is still strained and sore, yet it doesn’t take long for both of you to get dressed and pack up all of the remaining bottles to take with you in your escape. 

You can barely remember how you manage to slip away from the house unnoticed, even with the party still lingering and your brother’s guests lounging tiredly everywhere you look, or how you are able to reach Jaebum’s new apartment on your wobbly legs. 

Everything blurs as you continue your business with Jaebum at his place for the rest of the night until morning comes, only that none of it involves finishing the rest of the alcohol that you’ve managed to snatch away from your brother’s party, but has everything to do with the lessons that Jaebum had promised you about embracing pleasure. And you make no effort to put a stop to it when Jaebum continues giving you pleasure until the next day comes, continuing while your minds are completely sober. 

Seems like you actually are terrible with all this one-night stand business, after all. 

Jackson patted Jaebeom’s head and the staffs that filled the room tried to continue with their duties, but also be mindful of 7 crying and sobbing men in the centre of that room. Your gaze shifted to sobbing Mark and the way teared up Youngjae and Bam tried to calm him down. At least this view wasn’t tearing your heart into pieces. As a figure approached you, though, you had to readjust your eyes and focus on the man in front of you. The very next moment Jinyoung’s very warm hand grabbed yours and pulled you behind him. He felt your resistance and turned around, reading your face expression perfectly.

"I think he really needs you to calm him down." Jinyoung pulled onto your arm once again and you followed. "Hey, Seunah" Jinyoung called out in an attempt to whisper, but making it more of a low growl. Jackson, raising his head and seeing Jinyoung pulling on to you took a step back. Giving you space to come closer and giving you two space for privacy. Jaebeom raised his head a little, as he felt the loss of contact and took a few blinks to focus his teary eyes on you. Both Jackson and Jinyoung respectfully took a few more steps back and as you approached Jaebeom a little more, you couldn’t hold back a pout. Jaebeom straightened his back properly and it seemed the tears streamed down his face at a much lower pace. You pursed your lips and took a little step closer, not forgetting precaution and turning around to read the room - everyone seemed busy with themselves and their duties. But in all honesty - you couldn’t just stand and watch him any longer, even if the people watched you two attentively - your heart ached the moment you saw that first tear fall down his face back on stage. 

“You did so well-.“ You still whispered, everyone acted busy, but peoples’ ears were always perked up. Jaebeom blinked more tears down his face. Shit, you only made it worse for him. “Everything went so perfectly. You worked so hard. I’m so proud. These should be happy tears, everything worked out amazing. Right?“ you tried to give Jaebeom a smile, your words only made the tears fall down harder, while Park Jinyoung expected you to do the opposite. “Ah-, love, don’t cry.“ You finally sighed and reached a hand to his face, cupping his cheek and making a lame attempt at catching the teardrops - it did seem impossible. The waterfall that streamed down his face was impossible to stop with a finger. Jaebeom leaned in into your touch and closed his eyes. You tried to caress the softness of his cheek, while not making it too inappropriate for a working environment. “Everyone’s so proud and everyone are so thankful for the things you do. You’ve put so much hard work into this, it’s okay to cry. I can’t even hold back my tears for you and ah-.“ Jaebeom suddenly draped his arms over your shoulders and lost his face in the crook of your neck. You patted his nape in a very weak attempt to calm him down. He seemed crashed, drained and exhausted. You really wished you could lift him up just like that and transfer to bed and let him get as much sleep as he needed - doesn’t matter if its 12 hours or a week. You watched him work so hard all these weeks to make the concerts possible, you watched him all those years make all those things possible while also being a sweet and loving husband to you. “I just hope it’s tears of relief. As long as they’re not tears of pain - it doesn’t matter. We could cry all night long, right?“ You tried to give him a little kiss, forgetting all the work space boundaries in your head, landing your lips on his jaw. You patted his nape a few more times, moving your arms lower - you gave his waist a squeeze and rubbed your face against his shoulder - the sobbing man in your arms seemed to calm down at least a little. 

“I love you.“ you breathed out, somehow in unison with Jaebeom and as shocked as you were at the silly little coincidence, Jaebeom moved back a little and looked at you properly, with no tears falling out of his eyes,  beautiful irises focusing on you. 

“That’s silly of us.“ You giggled, moving your fingers to dry out the tears on Jaebeom’s cheeks. 

“But I, definitely love you more.“ He even made a weak attempt to smile and made you feel more at ease yourself. The air suddenly felt lighter and the second time he tried to make that little smile - the smugness on his face, your chest burned with love. Jaebeom covered your palm with his and moved it closer to his mouth. “I wouldn’t be here without your support.“ You knew exactly what he meant by that, how hard it was for both him and you to get his mind to a better place. You weren’t about to shy away and act like you weren’t behind it all. In a great partnership with the man himself, of course. 

“I know.“ You accepted with a playful nod and watched his lips give your palm a kiss with a smile. You were glad you could refer to dark times with a joke and a smile now. Jaebeom let go of your arm and tried to dry his face with the shirt he wore. 

“Ah!“ Jinyoung materialised behind you, his firm palm on your shoulder making you jump in place. “Nothing like a wife’s touch that could calm a man down.“ He teased happily, wrinkles round his eyes as he smiled were the reason for a little upward motion on the corners of your lips. 

“Sh! Shut up, there are strangers in this room.“ you hissed at the man, feigning annoyance. Jinyoung ruffled your hair with a teasing face expression.

“Hey, show some respect.“ you played back, your unending battle of teasing continuing every time you opened your mouths.

“Right, show some respect to my wife!“ Jaebeom chimed in, regret on his face immediate, as the both of you knew the comeback would be explosive. Jaebeom wrapped an arm around your waist, you not being sure whether he was backing you up or wanted you to back him up in this.

Jinyoung, though, already moved on -  looking at the members and then at his leader and giving you nod. 

Maybe it was the kiss itself or maybe it was Jinyoung’s words that followed, either way, they were entering a new level in their relationship of candidacy and trust that surpassed where they were at prior. Maybe the kiss was exactly what their relationship needed. They hadn’t forgotten about it, like she had once wished, but instead moved past it. And somehow, that was better. If anything, it had drawn them closer, smoothing out the rough edges of their dynamic in a way she never expected. Without it, she wouldn’t have gained as deep of an understanding of Jinyoung’s feelings as she had now. 

Jinyoung had proven time and time again that he wasn’t the kind of person to leave things unresolved, and she was grateful for that. He truly meant it when he said he wants a relationship where you chose to get past the ups and downs… or at least that was the type of relationship Y/N had signed up for. But that wasn’t to say Y/N wasn’t experiencing any growing pains. She really admired Jinyoung for his ability to confront awkward situations and find a way forward, but at the same time, Y/N on the other hand wasn’t that good at kissing and making up… well at least one part of that she wasn’t. Avoiding talking about the kiss only made Jinyoung feel alone. A feeling Y/N was very familiar with being that at one point, it was because of him. But after confronting him in a very immature outburst, Jinyoung expressed why he was acting that way, apologized, and worked to change their dynamic. He had made real efforts to close the distance between them, to pull her into his world rather than keep her at arm’s length. He had promised her that she wouldn’t feel alone again. And in a way, she felt guilty that for a moment couldn’t do the same.

And she wondered why? She knew that it might’ve had to do with the fact that she didn’t want to talk about the kiss because it brought up her own anxieties about confronting her feelings. Maybe, deep down, she had wanted it to mean something. 

And thinking about it now, part of her didn’t like how well he had just moved on from the topic, how good he was at leaving it in the past. Because, to her, that meant the kiss—the moment that had shaken something loose inside her—was nothing more than a fleeting lapse, an experience neither of them would revisit. And maybe that was what unsettled her most. Maybe the kiss had been her subconscious way of pushing them toward something they could never be. But Jinyoung had shown her exactly where they stood. And she had no choice but to accept it. It confirmed what she had known all along but never quite admitted: this was temporary. Whatever they had, whatever they were, it would end in three months. They were friends, nothing more, and Jinyoung had proven that by the way he so effortlessly settled them back into place. No lingering looks. No hesitation. No indication that the kiss had meant anything beyond what it was. 

Jinyoung on the other hand, was relieved—relieved that he had taken the initiative to talk things through that night, relieved that the air had cleared between them, and relieved that, despite everything, they had settled back into something that resembled normal. A new normal, maybe, but it was comfortable. They still shared easy conversations, still had their quiet moments together, and if anything, their closeness hadn’t diminished—it had solidified. That should have been enough. That was what he had wanted. Or was it? Because for some reason, a small part of him couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t been completely honest that night. Not with her. Not with himself.

Because if everything was so normal now, then why did he feel like he had left something unsaid? Like he had smoothed things over too well, to the point where they had erased any trace of what happened? Maybe it was because even he wasn’t sure what he was feeling. He hadn’t wanted to linger on it too much, hadn’t wanted to sit with the realization that the kiss had stirred something in him that wasn’t supposed to be there. Because if he did, then he’d have to admit that he was breaking his own rules—the very rules he had set. This was supposed to look real, not be this real. And yet, ever since that night, he had caught himself thinking about it more often than he should. The press of her lips, the way she had fit so easily against him, the way he had wanted to chase after the feeling rather than let it go. Every passing day it was almost as if something was trying to tell him that this was right, that she fit perfectly into his life. But every day that passes is another day closer to when she would be out of his life. So what was the point in deluding himself into getting attached to whatever this feeling was? Why was he trying to make this into something it could never be? Whatever meaning he thought to be behind that kiss he must have imagined it, because in the aftermath, Y/N had made her stance clear—she wanted to forget it. 

Interesting, she had been the one to suggest they practice, yet somehow, he was the only one still stuck on it.

His eyes darted to Sihoon, who was sitting across the room, and suddenly, her words from before echoed in his mind. He had long suppressed them— but as soon as he laid eyes on her, they filled his head.

“ I wonder if she’d actually be as engaged if this wasn’t a contract.”

At the time, he had pushed back against it. Y/N had proven Sihoon was wrong, hadn’t she? She had let him in, she had been there in ways no one else had been, and she had made him feel grounded - stable. And maybe that was part of her contractual obligation, but part of him felt there were times where her being there for him, her consistency, was because she wanted to. 

But looking at Sihoon now, he couldn’t help but think of the instances Y/N was the type to run away. The way she had avoided talking about uncomfortable situations, how quickly she had chosen to move past them, how she had shown no indication that the kiss had meant anything to her—he started to wonder. Had he been deluding himself this entire time? Would Y/N only be interested in the chaos that was this arrangement? And even if he could allow himself to imagine something past it, would it be the same, or did Sihoon know her better?

“You two have been doing well,” one the staff announced, glancing between Jinyoung and Y/N, snapping them both out of their thoughts. “The public is really buying the chemistry.” Y/N barely had time to feel relieved at their words of affirmation before they continued.

“We want to remind you both that Jinyoung’s premiere event is at the end of the week. There will be cameras everywhere, so it’s the perfect opportunity to showcase everything you’ve been working on behind closed doors.”

Y/N and Jinyoung exchanged a glance at one another before looking back to the PR team. Y/N shifted slightly in her chair, feeling the weight of the statement settle in. Jinyoung, on the other hand, remained composed, simply nodding in acknowledgment.

“Also,” the PR manager continued, their smile widening, “we do have some exciting news. We’ve arranged a trip to Jeju Island for the two of you the day after the premiere.”

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise, her posture immediately perking up. “Wait… like a vacation?”

There was a brief pause—just long enough for her to get her hopes up—before the PR rep clarified, “Sort of a work-holiday arrangement if you will… there will be scheduled outings and some casual ‘spotted together’ moments. Think of it as an extended opportunity to solidify your image as a couple following the premiere.” they explained.

Y/N’s shoulders dropped, her brief excitement slipping away as quickly as it had come. Of course it wasn’t just a vacation. Nothing ever was. She forgot. This was work after all. 

When the meeting concluded and the PR team left the room, Y/N let out a dramatic sigh, slumping back in her chair. “Of course, it’s not a real vacation,” she muttered aloud, arms crossed.

Jinyoung, still flipping through a folder the team had left behind, glanced at her and smirked. “Did you really think they’d send us to Jeju just for fun?”

Y/N shot him a look. “I was hoping.”

He shut the folder with a soft thud and leaned back, studying her “Still innocent I see. Nothing in this business is ever done out of the kindness of people’s hearts seeetheart” he scolded.

She groaned. “You’re telling me now?” she looked at him.

He let on a smile. 

“I can’t believe my first time to Jeju will be a work trip” she sighed disappointed.

“Well the first time I went I ran a food cart” he retorted. Y/N laughed.

“I’ll make sure we still enjoy ourselves, don’t worry,” he said, more reassuring. 

Y/N eyed him skeptically. “So you’re saying we’ll make the best of it?”

“I’m saying they can schedule whatever they want, but outside of that, we’re on an island with good food, nice weather, and an actual view that isn’t just Seoul traffic.”

A beat passed, and then Y/N sighed, the corners of her lips twitching upward. “Fine. But if they make us do another food cart you’ll be the only one cooking”

Jinyoung chuckled, standing up and grabbing his jacket. “If you can conjure up your barista skills, I’d say you have a deal.”

----

The next day, Jinyoung wandered through the street market, absentmindedly running his fingers over the fabric of a sweater before moving on to the next rack. Shopping wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time, but it was undeniably Yugyeom’s. The moment Jinyoung had mentioned the upcoming Jeju trip with Y/N, Yugyeom latched onto it as an excuse to drag him out under the pretense of "buying essentials." In reality, it was just another opportunity for Yugyeom to shop for himself.

Still, there were worse ways to spend an afternoon.

“What about this?” Yugyeom held up a ridiculously patterned coat, grinning.

Jinyoung barely spared it a glance. “No.”

“You didn’t even look,” Yugyeom whined, shoving it back onto the rack. “Fine. Be boring.”

Jinyoung smirked, shaking his head as he turned toward a display of winter accessories. A set of neatly stacked scarves caught his attention—soft, thick, and in neutral tones. His fingers ghosted over a navy one before his eyes landed on a similar style in muted pink.

Without thinking, he picked up both.

Yugyeom, watching from a few steps away, raised an eyebrow. “That’s pretty warm for Jeju… and two?”

Jinyoung nodded, already draping the navy scarf around his neck to test the feel. “Yeah.”

“For who?” Yugyeom’s grin was immediate—knowing.

Jinyoung ignored him, adjusting the scarf in the mirror.

Yugyeom snorted. “Oh my God. You’re getting one for Y/N.”

Jinyoung sighed, finally looking at him. “It’s cold out.”

Yugyeom’s smirk only grew. “Right. Because you always buy scarves for your fake girlfriends.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes but didn’t put the pink one back.

Yugyeom wasn’t done. “You know matching accessories are a thing, right? A couple thing.” He wiggled his eyebrows before dramatically shimmying his shoulders.

Jinyoung turned to him, expression unreadable. Then, with practiced indifference, he told the cashier, “I’ll take these.”

Yugyeom gaped before breaking into laughter. “Hyung, you sound like you want to match.”

Jinyoung shrugged, unbothered.

Yugyeom squinted at him, leaning in. “Be honest—do you actually care about the scarf, or do you just want to see her wear something you picked out?”

Jinyoung pulled out his wallet, not even looking at him. “I’ve already seen that,” he murmured.

Yugyeom smacked his arm, eyes wide. “Wow. You’re further along than I thought. Should we buy lingerie too?”

Jinyoung shot him a glare as he grabbed the shopping bag, causing Yugyeom to cackle.

“Oh, wait—you probably prefer nothing,” Yugyeom added in a whisper, dodging out of reach before Jinyoung could retaliate.

Jinyoung exhaled sharply and pressed forward, but Yugyeom wasn’t done. As they stepped out of the shop, bags in hand, Yugyeom nudged him with an elbow.

“So,” he drawled. “Are you excited?”

Jinyoung frowned. “For what?”

Yugyeom scoffed. “Spending time alone with Y/N, obviously.”

Jinyoung said nothing.

Yugyeom’s grin stretched wider. “Oh my God. You are. Look at you.”

Jinyoung exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. “It’s a trip.”

“Yeah, a trip. Just you two. Who knows, maybe you’ll get some more practice.” Yugyeom waggled his eyebrows.

That was a mistake telling him that.

Jinyoung narrowed his eyes. “Speaking of which… do I have anything on my lips?” He puckered exaggeratedly, perfectly mimicking Yugyeom’s infamous V-Live moment.

The smirk dropped from Yugyeom’s face instantly. “You don’t look cute doing it,” he muttered, stalking ahead.

Jinyoung chuckled to himself at the reaction.

Yugyeom recovered quickly, his teasing mood resurfacing. “Do you think she’s excited?”

“Y/N said it’s her first time going, so I’d assume so.”

Or at least, he hoped she was.

Yugyeom caught his expression and grinned even wider. “You want her to be excited to spend time with you, huh?”

Jinyoung tsked. “You’re reading too much into this.”

Yugyeom nestled up beside him, undeterred. “Am I? Hyung, I’ve never seen you go out of your way like this for anyone. The scarf, the trip, you not complaining about shopping—”

Jinyoung cut him off with a sigh. “I’m just trying to be thoughtful.”

Yugyeom hummed, thoroughly amused. “Right, right. Our very thoughtful Jinyoung. Because being thoughtful definitely doesn’t mean you like her.”

Jinyoung shot him a sharp look, but Yugyeom just threw an arm around his shoulder, grinning ear to ear.

“This is gonna be so fun,” he mused.

Jinyoung groaned, shoving him off. “You’re insufferable.”

“And you’re in denial,” Yugyeom countered, unfazed. “But don’t worry, hyung. You’ll get there… when you get to Jeju.”

Jinyoung sighed, rolling his eyes—but he didn’t argue.

_____________________

The next night, before his drama’s premiere, Jinyoung sat at the dining room table, bathed in the dim glow of his laptop screen. His fingers hovered over the keyboard, then backspaced, then hovered again. Y/N watched from across the room as she zipped on her jacket, just observing him. He didn’t notice, instead, his brows were drawn together in concentration, lips pressed into a firm line. Every so often, he exhaled sharply, his fingers tapping against the desk in an uneven rhythm—hesitant, restless. It wasn’t like him to seem so unsettled, but the way his eyes scanned the screen, the way his knee bounced under the table, made it obvious. Y/N had seen him handle press before, but something about tonight felt different. Seeing him like this gave Y/N an idea.

Outside the apartment window, snow was falling slowly.

“Jinyoung,” she called softly, stepping into the dinning room where he sat at the table, shoulders taut.

“Hmm?” He hummed in response without looking up from the laptop.

“You look like you’re trying to set your laptop on fire with your mind.” she joked.

He glanced up for a second before offering a small, tired smile. “I’m just making sure everything is set for the event.” He explained, looking back to the computer.

Y/N hummed, considering him for a moment. “Do you want to get Hotteok with me?” she asked innocently.

He blinked, looking up at her. “I didn’t think they had Hotteok in Seoul,” he said.

She smiled. “I found a place, and I need your expertise to know if it's good.”

He then turned his attention to the window. “It’s snowing.” He observed.

“Exactly,” she grinned. “Perfect weather for Hotteok.” She added.

“What’s the alternative?” He questioned.

“I'll go by myself,” she responded.

He furrowed his eyebrows at her and let out a short huff of intrigue.

"So, let me get this straight—you’re telling me you’re going out, at night, in the snow, alone, fully aware that I won’t just stay behind… meaning I have no choice but to go with you?" His lips pressed into a thin line.

“Yes,” she replied, smiling.

“All because you want to try hotteok at 9 pm at night?” he asked. 

“Well yes, but also because we should get your mind off of things,” she suggested, her eyes flickering to the computer.

“And this is the only thing you could come up with?” He replied.

“… Well do you have any other suggestions?” She tilted her head.

He actually did actually… just not appropriate ones.

He simply stared back at her, thinking.

“Please … Jinyoungie?” she smirked at the usage of the nickname which caused him to visibly cringe.

And yet, with a sigh, he shut his laptop screen and rose from his seat without more debate.

In all honesty it was seeming harder and harder to say no to her.

Satisfied at her win, she tugged on his sleeve, pulling him toward the door.

-

Even though their apartment was only a ten-minute walk away, the cold bit at their skin the moment they stepped outside. Y/N didn’t mind. She was just happy—Jinyoung had been working hard lately, and this was the perfect distraction. Jinyoung, on the other hand, was already regretting this. He hated the cold.

But when he glanced at Y/N out of the corner of his eye, their shoulders bumping as they walked, the regret faded—just a little.

Still, since Y/N was in a good mood, and Jinyoung was Jinyoung, he couldn’t help but toy with it.

The next time their shoulders met, he gave her an extra shove, just enough to knock her slightly off balance. The smile wiped clean from her face as she shot him a glare. Jinyoung only grinned mischievously, walking ahead like nothing happened.

Y/N caught up, her expression annoyed.

Sensing it, Jinyoung threw his arm over her shoulder, pulling her close. Without thinking, Y/N wrapped her arms around his waist in response.

“This your way of keeping me warm?” she mused, tilting her head up at him.

“No, this is so you can’t push me away,” he shot back, smug.

“That’s rich, coming from the guy who just pushed me.”

“My apologies for having broad shoulders,” he replied dryly.

“It’s not your fault. I blame the army.”

Jinyoung smirked, glancing down at her. 

“And I don’t want to push you away anyways” she mentioned, looking down at their footsteps.

“Oh really? What? Are you starting to get used to me or something?” he questioned teasingly.

“No I’m saying because I’m cold” she corrected, looking back up at him innocently.

Something about the way she looked at him—effortlessly comfortable, like they belonged in this moment—made him pause.

Without a word, he stopped. Y/N loosened her hold on him, standing up straight to meet his gaze.

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a scarf—the one he’d bought at the market with Yugyeom, which he just remembered he had on him. Carefully, he draped it around her neck, adjusting it with care.

She blinked. “What’s this?”

“You’re cold.” He noted, still fixing it, fingers lingering.

She looked at the navy blue scarf along his neck and realized it resembled hers. “You do realize this is a couple thing, right?”

Jinyoung sighed. “Not you too.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

She let out a teasing hum. “This almost makes it look like we’re actually dating.”

Jinyoung smirked, tilting his head. “We are actually dating,” he said smugly, wiggling his eyebrows as he gave the scarf one final tug.

“Oh, right,” she responded innocently.

He smiled, then threw his arm back over her shoulder, pulling her along.

-

Eventually, they reached a food truck near the square, the warm scent of something savory cutting through the crisp night air. The sizzle of dough and caramelized sugar wrapped around them as they approached the cart, the hotteok cooking to golden-brown perfection on the griddle.

Without hesitation, Y/N ordered two, the sweet scent of cinnamon filling the air as the vendor handed them over. She turned, offering one to Jinyoung.

“Try,” she insisted, holding it up to him, implying for him to let her feed him. “Maybe it’ll remind you of home so you can stop overthinking.”

Jinyoung hesitated, glancing between her and the food. Then, he leaned in, taking a small bite.

A rare, soft expression flickered across his face—surprise, maybe even delight.

Y/N’s smile widened. “Not bad, right?” she teased, nudging him.

Jinyoung gave a nonchalant shrug, trying to play it cool. “I approve.” His tone was casual, but there was something sincere beneath it. She liked seeing him like this—unguarded, content.

They lingered at the cart, finishing their hotteok, basking in the warmth of the streetlights illuminating the quiet night.

He couldn’t help but smile in realization that that rather than Y/N dragging him here wanting to hotteok for herself, she brought him here to get his mind off of things by giving him a familiar comfort.

He studied her enjoyment of the hotteok with a light smile.

-

On the way back, Y/N pulled her scarf tighter around her neck, the chilly air biting at her cheeks. The snowfall had picked up slightly, the streets growing quieter as they walked. When they reached a small alley with an overhang, she instinctively ducked beneath it, seeking shelter from the falling snow.

Jinyoung, however, walked just past the edge, snow collecting on his shoulders and hair, completely unbothered.

“Come under here,” Y/N called, watching him from beneath the overhang.

He glanced over, smiling. “I like the snow.”

“Oh, really?” Y/N arched an eyebrow, a mischievous glint flashing in her eyes.

Without hesitation, she kicked the garage door beside her. A pile of snow, dislodged by the impact, tumbled down—right onto Jinyoung’s head.

The moment the snow settled, Y/N pressed her lips together, barely containing her laughter.

Jinyoung stood frozen in place, eyes wide, snow slipping down his collar. Slowly, he turned to her, mouth slightly agape.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N choked out between laughs.

Jinyoung wiped at his face, shaking the snow from his hair with a deadpan look. “Really?”

Y/N was still laughing, eyes sparkling with amusement.

“Take a picture—it’ll last longer,” he muttered, brushing more snow from his coat.

“If you say so.” She immediately whipped out her phone and snapped a photo.

Jinyoung barely glanced at the camera before his hand shot out, aiming to delete it.

“Jinyoung!” Y/N gasped, realizing his plan just in time. She yanked the phone away and took off running.

Jinyoung didn’t hesitate. He chased after her, his laughter blending with hers.

Y/N’s footsteps were light, but Jinyoung was faster. Within seconds, he caught up, wrapping his arms around her from behind, trapping her in place.

Y/N continued laughing, struggling against his grip.

They wrestled for the phone for a moment before Jinyoung got ahold of it, both of them breathless, but smiling, Y/N gave up and went back to her hold onto his waist. “Don’t delete it” she cautioned, watching him hold her phone in his hands.

But rather than delete the photo, he slid to the right of the homescreen to open the camera, and turned it facing them, lowering it so they could both fit in the frame of the selfie.

Y/N was surprised at how cute they looked together, but she was too content to protest.

Jinyoung dipped his head slightly to fit into the frame, his arm still hooked around her collar, pulling her close as they continued walking while taking the selfies. He held her head under his chin as they both smiled silently looking down, Jinyoung snapping away. The camera caught the way their scarves nearly matched, the snowflakes dusting their hair, and the faint glow of the streetlights behind them. In the picture, Jinyoung’s smirk softened just enough to look genuine, and Y/N, despite herself, looked warmer and more like a girlfriend than she expected.

After a few and some shared laughs, he allowed for Y/N to take her phone back from him and review the photos. 

He watched over her shoulder as she scrolled through them, noticing her grinning, admiring the pictures.

“Pretty,” he murmured before he could stop himself.

“The snow, right?” she asked without glancing up at him. 

“You,” he corrected.

At this Y/N looked up at him, something fluttering in her chest. Her face flashing a blush.

“Shut up,” she muttered, nudging him shyly, but Jinyoung didn’t let her go.

As they continued walking content, Jinyoung glanced over his shoulder to see their footsteps in the snow behind them. In doing so, for a split second he thought he saw a shadow slip out of sight around a corner in the distance. His brows furrowed, but before he could think about it, he turned his attention back in front of them, pulling Y/N close.

---------------

By the time they returned to the apartment, raving about their hotteok, the space was quiet.

As they stepped into the warm apartment, the contrast from the biting cold outside sent a pleasant shiver down Y/N’s spine. Jinyoung was still dusting snow off his shoulders and hair when Y/N stepped closer, reaching up without thinking. “Hold still,” she murmured before tugging at the zipper of his jacket. 

Jinyoung watched as she slipped his jacket off his shoulders for him, her eyes flickering downward at what was beneath before she could stop herself. His sweater, damp from the melting snow, clung to him in a way that left little to the imagination—outlining the firm lines of his torso, the way it stretched just slightly over his broad shoulders. She swallowed, suddenly hyper-aware of how close they were, of the heat radiating from his body despite the lingering chill. It shouldn’t have been a big deal—she was just helping him out of his snow-covered clothes—but as her fingers brushed against the fabric, she had to force herself to focus on anything other than how ridiculously good he looked like this. Jinyoung, seemingly oblivious, smirked down at her. “You’re being awfully thorough,” he mused. Y/N rolled her eyes, stepping back before she did something embarrassing. “Just trying to keep you from catching a cold,” she muttered, but the warmth creeping up her neck betrayed her.

“You’re soaked,” she commented, more to herself than him. His lips curled slightly, amusement dancing in his eyes. “I wonder who’s fault that is?” he asked sarcastically. Y/N looked up at him as she busied herself with her own coat. “Go change,” she quipped, but the warmth in her touch still lingered between them.

After they both had changed, they returned to the living room. The lights were dim, the only glow coming from the city outside, casting shifting patterns on the walls. The heater hummed in the background, wrapping them in warmth, but that wasn’t what kept the chill away. It was this—being here, sitting close.

A movie played in the background, something neither of them had put too much thought into. 

Jinyoung shifted slightly, stretching one arm behind his head as he let out a slow breath. He glanced down at Y/N, who was still sitting up, her fingers lightly tracing the edge of the blanket.

“You can lay down on me if you want,” he murmured, his voice quiet. 

Y/N hesitated for a second at his suggestion, but the other part of her was eager to take him up on his offer. Slowly, she eased down over him, laying her hands on his chest, resting her head on them.

The moment she settled against him, she became hyper aware of everything again - especially how his body felt beneath her, the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the way his shirt stretched across his chest as he shifted. It should’ve been easy to relax, but now her heart was beating a little too fast, and she was scared he could feel it. 

Jinyoung hadn’t even hesitated draping an arm around her, his fingers brushing absently against her shoulder.

Is this how friends laid together?

He didn’t seem to notice Y/N’s tenseness. Instead he remained still. It was casual—should have been casual—but the longer they stayed like this, the more something unspoken hung between them.

She sighed softly, shifting. The movie played on, but Y/N found it hard to focus on anything except she could feel his abs rise and fall against her stomach. She swallowed hard remembering what they looked like.

Jinyoung’s voice broke through the quiet. “Comfortable?”

Y/N snapped herself out of her thoughts, willing herself to sound normal. “Yeah,” she mumbled, though she wasn’t sure if her answer was entirely true. Comfortable wasn’t exactly the right word—not when she felt this aware, this distracted.

He hummed in acknowledgment, but she could tell by the slight amusement in his tone that he wasn’t entirely fooled. Still, he didn’t press further. Instead, his fingers resumed their slow, absentminded movements against her shoulder, and Y/N forced herself to exhale, letting the tension leave her body.

Maybe she’d get used to this. Maybe she’d stop overthinking how solid he felt beneath her, how easy it would be to trace the contours of his shoulders, his arms—

She squeezed her eyes shut. No. That was dangerous territory.

Instead, she focused on his heartbeat, steady and grounding.

Outside, the snow continued to fall, blanketing the world in stillness. But here, in this quiet, unhurried moment, nothing felt heavy.

As for Jinyoung, for once, his mind wasn’t racing. For once, he wasn’t thinking about the event, the cameras, the expectations.

Just this. Just her.

They laid in silence, content and warm. But as the movie’s plot unraveled, Jinyoung felt his & Y/N’s bodies tense. The story took a darker turn—an obsessive stalker watching the protagonist’s every move. He could see Y/N watching intently, the way her fingers curled slightly into the blanket.

He just reached for the remote and switched it off.

Y/N blinked up at him, startled. “Why—?”

“You don’t need to watch that. Let’s find something that won’t give us both nightmares.” he said simply, voice calm but firm as he searched for something else.

She exhaled slowly, the tension still clinging to her frame. It was so odd how sometimes she didn’t even have to open her mouth and yet he just knew what she was thinking. She didn’t know anyone as receptive as Jinoyung.

She watched as he scrolled through options, one arm behind his head, the other flicking through selections with the remote. This time, he picked the movie—something light, something easy. But something in the air lingered, something unsaid.

He set the remote down and laid his hand back down on her back, Y/N eager for him to continue the faint drawing he was doing on her shoulder with his finger. Instead, they laid there in silence for a moment as the movie started.

“I would never let anything happen to you,” he said aloud, finally clearing the air of what felt unsaid. Y/N’s turned her attention away from the movie at the randomness of it. His voice was quiet, serious in a way that left no room for doubt.

“I know,” Y/N consoled.

He nodded, seeming content with that.

She shifted, resettling, her head resting on her hands, which rested on his chest. Jinyoung felt the weight of her so naturally beside him that he let himself relax completely. He noticed the way her breathing evened out, the way she unconsciously nestled closer as if she felt just as safe.

Jinyoung glanced down, his gaze tracing the soft curve of her face, the way her lashes fluttered slightly—caught somewhere between wakefulness and sleep.

She made a small sound—content, almost—her body rising and falling dependent on his breathing.

And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

It wasn’t long before the warmth of the room and the quiet flickering light of the screen lulled her to sleep, as per usual.

Jinyoung scoffed at how routine this had become. But he wasn’t much better. He only lasted a few moments longer before his own eyelids grew heavy.

—

An hour or so later, Jinyoung jolted awake.

His breath came quickly, uneven. The dark silence of the apartment pressed in around him, too still, too quiet. His pulse pounded in his ears, a lingering echo of something—something he couldn’t quite shake.

In his panic, he startled Y/N awake.

She blinked rapidly, disoriented, her gaze quickly finding him. “What happened?” she mumbled, still half-asleep.

His hand gripped the edge of the couch, the other still resting holding her back. His face was pale, the remnants of his nightmare still clinging to him. He swallowed hard, forcing himself to steady his breath.

“It’s nothing,” he murmured after a pause. “Just a nightmare.”

Y/N propped herself up on one elbow, rubbing her eyes as she studied him. Even in the dim light, she could tell something wasn’t right.

“Are you okay?” she asked, voice softer now, laced with concern.

Jinyoung hesitated. Part of him wanted to tell her, yearning for more comfort. The dream had been vivid—dark, unsettling… about stalking - a nightmare probably ignited with help the first movie. But as he stared at her in the eyes now, innocent and drowsy with sleep, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her what it had truly been about for fear of scaring her too.

Instead, he exhaled, forcing a half-hearted smile. “Just stressed,” he said quietly. “The drama’s release is tomorrow, you know how it is.”

Y/N searched his face, unconvinced. Still, she reached up, brushing a few strands of hair from his forehead. “Everything’s going to be okay, Jinyoung.” Her voice was soft, steady.

He looked at her for a long moment, his heart heavier than he let on. He wanted to say more. He wanted to tell her. But instead, he just nodded.

Y/N yawned, stretching slightly. “Do you want to go to bed?” she asked, shifting as if to sit up.

Jinyoung hesitated—just for a second—“In a minute” he said before guiding her back down to his chest. His arms wrapped around her this time, almost as a quiet plea to stay.

She tensed slightly at first but then, without a word, relaxed against him. Maybe he needed this.

And so, as she let herself drift back into sleep. Jinyoung on the other hand stayed awake a little longer, staring at the ceiling, wrestling with his thoughts.

An* Here's a treat for reading all the way through ;)

-> Chapter 24