queen of hazards

nega-astrologer predicts celestial phenomena based on how their day is going. i stubbed my toe, therefore mercury is in retrograde. i won ten bucks on a scratchoff, which caused a dust storm on mars. that gamma ray burst in the andromeda galaxy? yeah, that was me getting mad at my toaster

Caretaker, might I ask how you're managing to outrun them and still be posting?

VOICE TO TEXT ALL TERRAIN HEELYS

This is also me pretty much.

I do the second one a lot

Most of them are true ;-;

i want to thank the 1920s-1930s third wheel who saw their two friends lying in bed together in their underwear and stocking garters reading a book with their legs wrapped around each other and said "i am going to take a photograph of this"

i hope wherever they are now that everyone involved in the taking of this photograph knows how much joy it is bringing me 80-100 years later

Reblogging this again because please, please click the link and look at the other photos but more importantly read the words written by the owners of the collection because it’s so touching and heart-warming

I love this so much

I would very much like to have one of these.

Looks like he’s all ready for Dr. Frankenstein’s winter crafting results. 

Now this is interesting! *Adding pitchfork tree orchard to possible dnd locations*

Gollum’s lowkey adoreable tbh i would like to keep him as a pet❤️