Professional Overthinker

Hello Everyone!

You may call me Eni. My main blog is @enigma1247.

This sideblog was mainly created as a place for me to dump all my ramblings and thoughts about the various media I obsess over (currently “Bungou Stray Dogs”). I don’t pretend to be an expert on any of the things that I post - just a huge overthinker who enjoys chatting!

Things To Note

🏷️ I am very happy to answer questions (or even just chat about things in general)! As I stated before, I am not claiming to be an expert of any kind, just someone who obsesses over the small details that can be found in canon.

🏷️ All my metas and analyses will be based on English translations (usually from official sources but occasionally from trusted fan ones) - I do not speak Japanese so if I accidentally post incorrect information or misunderstand something please let me know!

🏷️ This blog is NOT spoiler-free for any main or side material from “Bungou Stray Dogs”! If a post has major spoilers from newly released content I will tag appropriately. If you see a light novel/arc/chapter tagged assume that has spoilers from those parts of the series.

🏷️ I am currently open to writing scenarios/imagines as well as general headcanon/reaction posts for most characters in BSD. Just send in an ask with a request of what you want!

🏷️ I am very happy to discuss any headcanons or theories you may have even if it’s something that we disagree on!

🏷️ I am trying to keep this blog drama-free. Any hate (towards myself or others) will be deleted from my asks or private messages. I am not against blocking people. Character and ship discourse is also not allowed.

ADA x Reader - Would You Still Love Me If I Was a Worm?

Author's Note: I wrote this months ago for fun and just found it again recently. There isn't much context other than that it's implied that Y/N has worked at the Armed Detective Agency longer than Atsushi but a shorter time than everyone else. I use honorifics but I wouldn't look too deeply into them. Might upload a second one with the other members of the ADA at a later date...

Tone: Comedic, Light-Hearted, Slice of Life (?)

The bustling streets of Yokohama were still something that you were struggling to get used to. This was, in part, due to the fact that you really only got the opportunity to explore them between a variety of different work tasks - murder investigations, conspiracy plots, being framed for terrorism... Working for the Armed Detective Agency wasn't for the mundane. Sometimes you wondered if you'd be happier stuck waiting tables or in a shitty internship like others your age. You'd certainly rather be doing a coffee run than one of Ranpo's dessert runs. At least then you could justify buying yourself something as well. You glance ahead to your coworker who was trailing slightly ahead of you. You don't know what causes you to speak - maybe boredom, maybe genuine curiousity - either way though, the following words leave your lips... "Hey. Would you still love me if I was a worm?"

Atsushi stared at you for a second as if he didn’t quite comprehend the words that were just spoken to him. He let out a small laugh though it sounded far more uncertain than amused.

“Uh…sorry, Y/N-san, I don’t think I heard the question right! Could you repeat it?”

He seemed genuinely apologetic for the "inconvenience". It almost made you feel a bit bad for the teasing that was about to ensue. 

Almost. 

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?” 

You repeated the words carefully, making sure to purposefully enunciate each syllable despite your otherwise conversational tone. Once again Atsushi just stared at you. Just as you were about to repeat the question for a third time – was his hearing really that bad? – the meaning of the statement seemed to dawn on him. While the baffled expression on Atsushi’s face remained (sometimes you wondered if it was just how his face rested), a deep flush immediately overtook the rest of his features. His heterochromic eyes darted anxiously to the side.

“W-would I…would I what if you were a what?!” The words practically jumped out of Atsushi’s mouth, high and frantic. “Uh, Y/N-san, that’s a bit of a…I don’t know if…love?!”

Ah. Of course that’s the part that Atsushi’s brain would latch onto. You probably should’ve seen that coming. Oh well. 

“Yeah. Would you?”

Atsushi’s face somehow manages to turn an even deeper shade of red. Honestly, you’re a bit impressed.

“I-I don’t…I mean, erm…yes? I’d still…w-we’d always be friends no matter what form you were in! Even if it was a worm!”

Feeling pleased by the strength in his response (and a bit bad about all the pure stress the simple question seemed to cause him), you push down the pang of disappointment you feel towards the word “friend” and instead give a quick grin. You lean over to pat Atsushi’s shoulder.

“Alrighty, then!” You clap your hands together, “Shall we go pick up Ranpo-san’s order then?”

It was clear by the wide-eyed look of horror on Atsushi’s face that he’d forgotten the whole reason you two had left the office in the first place. He gives a rapid nod and almost immediately quickens his pace. You trail along after him. 

The conversation from that point shifts into the familiar back-and-forth that is had at the agency. You think your awkward attempt at joking around might go forgotten entirely…until you see Atushi mouthing LOVE every so often when he thinks you aren’t looking.

Kunikida, clearly having expected an inquiry of the utmost importance, immediately splutters upon hearing your actual question.

“What kind of…that’s what you stopped to ask me?! I already had to modify my daily schedule to account for grabbing Ranpo’s order and now you’re wasting the rest of my time on idiotic hypotheticals?!”

You blink. While Kunikida’s face was certainly turning a bit red, you figured it had less to do with feeling flustered by your question and more because he was attempting not to strangle you in broad daylight. You wondered, briefly, if this is why Dazai picked at him so often. It was admittedly quite fun. 

“Aw! Kunikida-san, don’t be that way! It’s a very serious question! Stop being so dismissive…”

Kunikida’s eye twitched ever so slightly, “In what world is that an important question?!”

“This one! I mean, how else are we supposed to know the true strength of our bond? Aren’t you always going on about the Agency needing to operate more smoothly? A healthy working relationship is the first step towards that!”

The exasperated glare that Kunikida levels your way is nearly enough to make you apologize and move on. His hands were clenched so tightly that you assumed he was fantasizing about them being wrapped around your throat. His eyes dragged slowly between his watch and you as if though he was trying to “subtly” remind you of the cause of his ire. A smarter individual would take the silent warning (if only out of self-preservation) – alas, you were born with the inability of knowing where the line is. 

“...so would you?”

“L/N,” The breath that escapes Kunikida’s lips is not one of relief, “Do you know how much Ranpo’s errand has thrown us off schedule?”

Your eyebrows shoot up. What a weird non-sequitar…

“Uh…like, five minutes? The bakery is only a bit of a walk away from where the crime scene was–”

“Seven minutes and twenty-two seconds.” 

If you were going based on tone alone, one could only assume that Kunikida was in the middle of describing a disgustingly inhumane crime. Your own smile becomes a bit strained and you take a step backwards under the harshness of his gaze.

“That’s…inconvenient…?”

“Inconvenient…? Inconvenient? It’s an unmitigated disaster – that’s what this is! It will take us fourteen minutes to return back to the office from the bakery. Add in your…idiotic blabbering has wasted approximately one hundred and fifty more seconds. At this rate, we will make it back to the Agency at 3:01 PM.”

“...And that’s a problem because…?”

“The Agency departs for lunch at approximately thirteen hundred hours! If Ranpo-san is not there to collect his sweets, this entire excursion would have been a waste. Furthermore, I cannot file this investigation report if the President is not there to sign off on it. My entire schedule from this point forward is thrown off! If anything, I’d be more inclined to tolerate you if you were a spineless worm because at least then you’d have an excuse for the sheer stupidity you exude!”

“...I’m…sorry…?”

“The only thing you need to be is walking – move!”

Ugh. He’s absolutely no fun. You begrudgingly drag your feet after Kunikida as he swiftly walks down the streets of Yokohama.

“...ehhhh…? What kinda question is that?”

Ranpo drags out the words as he looks at you. Despite the casualness of his tone, his green eyes drill into you. You barely manage to resist the urge to curl up and hide away from the world entirely. 

…not that anyone could SUCCESSFULLY avoid Ranpo Edogawa.

If you were any more naive – or perhaps just unused to how the Great Detective operates – you might’ve tried answering the question. The experience you’ve gotten from working at the Armed Detective Agency these past few months, however, has made you an expert in the art of recognizing rhetorical questions. 

Your expertise does you well as Ranpo lets out a small huff of air.

“Why would I care about a worm?” 

Ouch.

“It’s just a hypothetical from a stupid video I saw, Ranpo-san–”

“Stupid is right! Sigh…is this really the type of thing you like to think about? Man, I’d hate to be you! What a waste of time! Boooriiing.”

Double ouch.

“I, erm, apologize for wasting your time–”

Ranpo dismissively waves his hand, not even giving you time to get the apology out. No doubt because he’d find it boring as well. You internally sigh. Mentally preparing yourself for a very awkward walk to the bakery, you slowly continue to trail behind Ranpo. Just as you were getting used to the silence however…

“Obviously I wouldn’t love you if you were a worm,” Ranpo says in a haughty tone that you’ve come to recognize as his Explaining-Simple-Things-To-A-Bunch-Of-Idiots voice. You were kinda hoping to avoid it entirely though you should’ve known you could never be that lucky.

“...I’m aware, Ranpo-san. Once again, I apologize for–”

“If you were a worm, you wouldn’t be able to praise me anymore. You also wouldn’t be able to pick up my sweets or understand any of my great deductions! Not that you’re capable of really doing that now, anyways…”

The great detective seems eager to hit you where it hurts today. Ugh.

“Yes, Ranpo-san, I suppose that’s right…”

“So,” Ranpo barrelled on as though he hadn’t heard you speak at all (in fact, he didn’t even deign to look in your direction whatsoever), “Obviously, I wouldn’t still love you if you were a worm. You’re fine the way you are…I mean, you’re no me but you’re not a complete moron. If you keep thinking about stupid things like this, you might actually end up even more dumb. How annoying would that be?”

Undoubtedly, still less irritating than you, Ranpo-san.

“Hmmmm…”

Dazai blinks, his gaze languid despite his theatrical attempt at miming thought. A pale, slender finger reaches up to tap his chin in a repetitive motion that your eyes immediately dart to. You don’t know why you asked Dazai this question in the first place – his answer was certainly going to leave you some sort of regret no matter which direction he leaned towards. You’re just about to take back the hypothetical entirely when Dazai suddenly claps his bandaged hands together and smiles down at you.

“Let’s break this down, Y/N-kun!” Dazai’s voice was far too cheerful for your liking.

“We, uh, really don’t have to, Dazai-san–”

The words, you knew, were a futile effort. Dazai certainly seemed to agree as he waves you off with a flippant motion. Theatrical it is then…

“No, no! I insist. Let me see…a worm lacks all semblance of emotion and cognitive ability. It cannot show affection nor form any sort of bond with another. It spends the entirety of its very short life wriggling around in the dirt with no other apparent goal in sight…”

“I get it Dazai-san…”

Dazai ignores your words entirely. Instead a beaming, slightly blissful smile crosses his face.

“Ahhh…it sounds like the perfect life, doesn’t it, Y/N-kun? I can see why you’d want to be a worm. I’m now quite jealous of them myself! Life can be so unfair…if I were to flop around in the soil completely bare and covered in slime, Kunikida-kun would certainly try to kick me…ugh.”

Any other person. You could have asked ANY other person. 

“That sounds…uh…frustrating, Dazai-san…”

Dazai nods rapidly in agreement. His face droops in an overt attempt at coming across as heart-wrenched. 

“If you were to become a worm, I suppose I’d do my best to still love you…” You narrow your eyes slightly, not believing his words for a second, “But it’d be sooo hard not to kill myself out of jealousy! Really, Y/N-kun, you’re a terrible person for making me think of such horrifying things! How am I supposed to get any work done now?”

Of course. YOU’RE the terrible one…ugh. Maybe you should steal his idea and kill yourself to get out of having to hear his voice for even a few more seconds.

“Dazai-san,” You say (quite calmly, in your humble opinion, considering the amount of irritation that was coursing through you), “I am very sorry to have upset you like this. Let’s talk about something else…”

Dazai’s eyes glimmer in amusement. He lumbers forwards slightly so he can grin down at you. 

“Well, if you insist. I thought we really had an interesting conversation going here. Alas, it seems Ranpo-san’s desserts come first! Let’s get going then!”

“I’m gonna give ya a choice, kid,” the boy told him, hands still in his pockets. “Die now or die after givin’ me the information I want. What’s it gonna be?” “I like those two choices. Both very tempting offers,” Dazai replied unflinchingly, despite having been hit in the torso and knocked through several buildings. “Okay. Kill me now.” The boy in the biker jacket fell silent for a brief moment, then looked down at Dazai as if realizing he’d finally met a person of character.

That last line truly is the crux of the Soukoku partnership. They have such a pull towards one another because, prior to this, they had never truly interacted with someone that could be considered their equal. Dazai is bored. Everyone knows this. He whines about it to anyone that will listen.

“Give that back! I wanna die!” Dazai flailed his arms. “Life is so boring; I’d rather just die! But I want it to be quick and painless! Help me out, Mori!”

But something that gets overlooked is the fact that Chuuya is bored too.

Perhaps it's harder to notice because of how reactionary Chuuya normally is but his baseline emotional state tends to be rather dull. Especially throughout Fifteen and Stormbringer. Like Dazai, Chuuya is struggling deeply with a detachment to the world around him. Dazai has no reason to live and Chuuya has no clue what or who he is. It causes almost this haze around his mind that leaves him untethered from everyone else.

And yet Chuuya had no interest in money or power. They brought him no happiness because he was missing something far more important: a past.

Chuuya gains nothing from his power as he finds it isolating. Nobody is ever on his level which just adds to his level of detachment.

“Hey. You wanna know why I always fight without using my hands?” Chuuya asked as he approached Randou. Numerous pebbles vibrated by his feet and floated with each step. “I’ve never lost a fight in my life. I’ve never even been in real danger… But that’s no surprise. After all, I’m not even human. My identity is a safeguard, like you said. Nothing more than a little pattern etched on a colossal furnace of power. Hey… Do you know how that feels?” Chuuya stepped onto empty space, using the floating debris to walk in midair. He took another step forward with his other leg. And just like that, Chuuya slowly approached Randou as if he were ascending a staircase. “That’s why I kept my hands in my pockets. I figured I’d one day feel like I was about to lose, no longer enjoying the fight but just doing everything I could to protect myself… I thought maybe that way I’d start to like myself as a person—me, a little pattern without a body of my own.”

Like Dazai, this same detachment leads to Chuuya considering suicide. It's also why when Chuuya is at his mental worst and these suicidal thoughts start to emerge, they do so by stealing Dazai's voice and image.

Obviously, I’m gonna never gonna give in. I can keep this up forever. But for what purpose? “I told you, Chuuya.” He looked up in the direction of the sudden voice. It was a familiar voice, one that belonged to the person he hated most in this world. “Your birth itself was a mistake. We’re the same. Is there really a point to suffering through all that pain for a life that isn’t even real?” The voice was taunting him. “Shut up,” Chuuya spat, but even he knew he was talking to himself. He was most likely hearing things due to the drugs he was given. There was nobody there, but his mind was scattered, and the voice wouldn’t stop. “Screw you, Dazai.” “That’s the best comeback you could come up with?” Chuuya wanted nothing more than to slice off the ear the voice was whispering into. He could see Dazai’s wavering shadow by his side, and he wanted to gouge out his eyes. “That’s just proof that you at least somewhat believe what I’m saying. Because deep down inside, you’re the same as me.” “Shut up, shut up, shut up! I’m me! I’m not some piece of shit like you!”

Chuuya hates the fact he can understand Dazai. He views it as a reflection of his worst parts. His worst fear is becoming so detached that he ends up on the level of Dazai, someone who is apathetic towards almost everything. Dazai, on the other hand, views Chuuya as human BECAUSE of this.

“You sound like you’re certain he’s human.” “I am.” Dazai sighed, smiling. “There’s no way I could hate a man-made character string this much.”

Dazai gets enjoyment out of his dislike towards Chuuya as Dazai tends not to feel much intense emotion about ANYTHING. Even in the earlier chapters of Fifteen, it's shown that Dazai is bored and exasperated by Mori. Chuuya is the first truly interesting "thing" he'd been exposed to in who-knows-how-long. At the end of Fifteen, there is a conversation where Dazai explains he wants to live. I know that it's well beloved by the SKK fandom but I want to dissect the parts that are overlooked a bit more.

“Get away from me,” Chuuya spat. “You’re not gonna convince me to do anything.” “I know.” Dazai glanced at Randou. Then he whispered quietly so that Randou couldn’t hear: “Let’s beat him. Together.” Chuuya stared at Dazai in bewilderment, seemingly uncomprehending. “…Are you being serious?” “I have a plan, but I can’t do it alone. It needs both of us to work. Do you trust me?” Chuuya held Dazai’s gaze for a brief moment and demanded, “Tell me what made you change your mind. I thought you wanted to die.” “I just felt like it. Is that not a good enough reason?” Dazai smiled, perplexed.

Dazai is perplexed by Chuuya's demand for an explanation. Dazai, up until this point, has been reconstructing his view of Chuuya. He isn't used to be questioned about his intentions as he often has very surface-level ones (because he wants to or because it's directed at some goal). Most people would simply accept Dazai's answer of "feeling like it" as trying to unravel Dazai's thoughts and feelings seems like an impossible thing. Chuuya doesn't deny TRUSTING Dazai nor think he's lying - he's "bewildered" by the statement. Instead of backing down though, Chuuya wants to know WHY. More importantly though, Chuuya believes that Dazai's explanation will be enough for him to UNDERSTAND where Dazai is coming from.

“Working for the Mafia has piqued my interest, albeit slightly,” Dazai began. “In the outside world—the world of light—death is kept separate from everyday life. It’s swept under the rug. People find it unpleasant. But the Mafia’s world isn’t like that. Death is an extension of everyday life. It’s a part of life. And I tend to think that’s more accurate. Death isn’t the opposite of life but merely a function of it. We breathe, eat, fall in love, and die. And you can’t get the full picture of living without observing death up close.” Chuuya quietly stared at Dazai’s expression as if he were searching for something human deep inside of him. “So you’re saying…you want to live now?” “I wouldn’t go that far,” Dazai replied with a resigned smile. “Maybe I won’t find anything, but I figure I’ll give it a try. Once I successfully complete this mission, I’m going to join the Mafia. Gotta defeat him first, though. Besides…” “‘Besides’…?” “I got a new dog—you. And I still haven’t given you any commands,” Dazai said with a smirk. Chuuya snorted.

Chuuya, in this moment, still doesn't fully understand. He's trying to though. This is going to seem like a super random segue (just stay with me as I promise it's not) but also in the beginning of Fifteen is this description of Dazai. It's from Mori's perspective.

Dazai’s expression was unchanging, which made reading his thoughts nigh impossible. His face was as still as the frozen surface of a lake.

Why do I bring this up? Because Chuuya gets a similar moment about reading Dazai's face at the END of Fifteen. You would think that based on how Dazai's face/expressions/mannerisms are usually described in more serious moments, that Chuuya would get frustrated because he can't read Dazai or would once again be confused by Dazai's. The term "expressionless", "bored", "empty" are all the main synonyms used to get across how apathetic Dazai tends to be seen as. In this case however...

Chuuya glared at him, still breathing heavily. Despite his trembling legs and the sweat pouring down his face, he didn’t take his eyes off Dazai for a second. He quietly stared at Dazai as if all the answers were written on his face.

Chuuya has only known Dazai for a few days at this point. Yes, they had defeated Rimbaud together, but Dazai is his enemy in this moment - he's actively threatening the Sheep. Still, Chuuya is confident in his ability to read Dazai. The defeat of Rimbaud shifted something in their dynamic. Whatever happened in that fight created a connection between the two of them that led to an understanding on Chuuya's end that nobody else (excluding possibly Oda) has of Dazai. This might get me a lot of flack but I don't think Dazai comes to that same understanding of Chuuya until the end of Stormbringer. Yes, Dazai cares for Chuuya and is confident in his humanity but I don't think he GRASPS who Chuuya is as a person until their fight with Verlaine. Dazai is downright GIDDY when Guivre appears. It's the most interesting thing he's ever seen. It offers him both a new experience AND an opportunity for death...

Dazai looked up at the creature. “This is a singularity? Did this power really come from a skill?” He sounded downright ecstatic. “It looks like the end of the world.” Even his lips unconsciously curled with euphoria.

But when Dazai's about to give up, he chooses otherwise because of Chuuya. I won't cite the infamous "ANYTHING BUT THAT" scene with Mori as everyone is already well aware of it but instead a later moment...

“What do you want to do, then? Grow big, too, and have a fistfight with it?” Dazai’s icy gaze met Chuuya’s. “It’s hopeless. Isn’t it obvious just looking at that thing? A singularity’s like a loophole in the rules. That monster is a manifestation of something that shouldn’t exist in this world. Humans don’t stand a chance against it. There’s nothing we can do.” “You’re wrong about that,” Chuuya said, sternly holding Dazai’s gaze for several seconds. He then let go of Dazai and stated firmly: “There is something we can do about it. I’m sure of it.” Dazai listlessly dropped to the ground in a seated position. “Ha-ha-ha. This is getting interesting. And what are you basing that on?”

Dazai is surprised by Chuuya once again and is willing to shift gears because of it. He's actually relatively "comforting" of Chuuya in this scene and shows concern for him up until Chuuya activates corruption. When Chuuya DOES, it's when we get this line...

“Incredible,” a dumbfounded Dazai muttered as he watched from the top of the gas tank. “So this is the power of Arahabaki.”

Dazai does the one thing Chuuya needs him not to do - consider him as a separate being to his own power. But then...

“So that’s Arahabaki’s—that’s Chuuya’s true form,” Dazai muttered feverishly as he stared up from the surface.

He ends up correcting himself after a few more moments. Dazai really only got it in that moment, I think. Ironic considering this is the same scene that discusses the loneliness of Verlaine and Chuuya. It shifts the narrative of Chuuya being completely detached to having formed relationships and friendships. It calls out Verlaine for having wanted the same things. It also reinforces the fact that Chuuya STILL does have a connection with someone that he can rely on.

This second sun that lit up the sky eventually vanished, quietly and delicately. After limply floating in the air for a few seconds, the wings on Chuuya’s back vanished, and he slowly began to fall. Until Dazai caught him.