please let me go

your cat was an honor to see in the window

all the job ads on linkedin and indeed are fake and no one’s actually hiring and hiring managers don’t even read resumes and every application requires a cover letter which is scanned by ai before being discarded and when you actually hear back you go through 6 rounds of interviews before being ghosted and you need 3 degrees and 10 years of experience for entry level positions and if you don’t hear back maybe you should remove your degrees from your resume but if you remove your degree you also don’t hear back anyway and well maybe you should’ve just been born 40 years ago or born into wealth as the heir to a fortune 500 company. better luck next time!

why do cherries have to be sexual & strawberries get to be all innocent. why are we slut shaming fruit. what is the sexual valence of a blueberry

kitten fever is worse than baby fever because a kitten is way easier to obtain than a baby so it's more dangerous

Actually I've decided this is a poem

deadly seriously. I think it should be more acceptable to bring up your sex life in medical environments without feeling like you’re going to be judged or like you’re stepping out of line. we should be allowed to bring up sex-related goals during physiotherapy. we should be allowed to mention sex in chronic fatigue activity reports. we should be able to mention this stuff because it’s important and it matters. to a lot of people

I don’t understand why it’s unacceptable for me to say “hey look my main goal for these muscle strengthening exercises is to be able to hold my favourite sex position for longer”. like that’s crucial information for a medical professional to know. killing and maiming

this also applies to jacking it btw

part of being an adult is figuring out what eveyone else's definition of "going crazy" is. to you it is not sleeping for 60 hours, writing 80k words in one sitting and expiriencing enough anxiety to kill a horse. to beth from accounting its buying a ticket to Columbus, Ohio. and to your friend its consuming so much ketamine you lose all of your posessions and wake up with five broken bones in a ditch somewhere and then proceeding to do it again the next day. to your other friend its writing a letter to their favourite actress about how much they appreciate her work. to your neighbour its laughing loudly in a grocery store whilst in pajamas. maya from uni hears the voice of her dead father making jokes with no punchlines and she considers that to be quite normal - to her going crazy would be hearing her husband instead. your downstairs neighbour will take night walks naked sometimes and claim there is nothing weird about him. there are literally no rules to life and all meaning is in the eye of the beholder.

my dead wife. the ad free internet