Shoot For The Moon

happy annoy squidward day

Actually, Annoy Squidward Day is January 15th. Although the calendar doesn’t have the month written on it, if you continue to watch the episode, they’re competing for January’s Employee of the Month.

I’ve been waiting all year to reblog this

sound on!!!

I’m workin’ on my ROAR

how the fuck do you even BEGIN to code this

Do you ever wonder about how an author would describe you in a novel? Not only your appearance but the way you talk and laugh and hold yourself and all the expressions on your face?

is there a reason for this? like is this part of a strike or something im not aware of? 

Ralph, pick a number between 1 and 10

four of course because it’s my lucky number

Good cause that’s your IQ

Painting gnomes is therapeutic and calming I highly recommend it if you do not have access to paintable gnomes you can always try vandalizing police cruisers

Garlic is so iconic

hey patrick can you see my feet

Yeah spongebob look at mine I’m facing the toilet

Patrick we have penises and were peeing with them

Excuse me ladies, everything you’ve just said about being spongbeob and Patrick and having penises you pee pee with has been echoed and amplified down the hall, were we are holding a Sunday school class. We all have heard what you’ve said about peeing towards the toilet with your penises, and I am just letting you know.

no one knows the context of this whatsoever it was about me and my friend when we were 8 pretending we were spongebob and patrick and had penises and we were peeing with them in a church bathroom and we said this aloud and some lady comes in and tells us that everyone down the hall could hear us, and then i wouldnt leave the bathroom because i was too afraid

reading this again i guess the context is all there in the penises

… can i use that phrase irl?

Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.

Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.

You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.

I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.

I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito

Reading these is like literary whiplash

no why

help her

there’s only one good absurd threat that’s ever been posted on Twitter Dot Com but it is (as the kids say)a real doozy