Seriously, I'm a weeb

Ruin the wish then make a wish. I'll start

They all bitten into

Granted but it means you relive the same year over and over

You’re turned into a tofu dog instead.

Granted but you have to ride as cargo or be shipped fedex style

Granted but you can’t season your food

Granted but one of them is uncontrollable flatulence

granted, but it still takes regular cow sized shits and refuses to be trained.

granted, but it pays minimum wage with no benefits or chance for promotion.

Granted, but you lose a limb everytime you teleport

granted, but every time you use ur telekinesis your brain cells drastically deplete

Granted but every time you cure a disease you have a stroke

Granted but your only opponents are kindergartners

oh my god

Granted but now the animals have evolved into phobic dicks like zootopia

Granted but it covers your breasts at all times. 

Granted but you’re born blind, deaf, and mute.

Granted but you could only play as McCree and every time you had your ult Mei would put up an ice wall as you used it.

Granted but every time you have sex or j/o it time stutters and you fast forward to when you’re already done.

Granted but you dont like your major

Granted but everything in your life is actually falling apart

Granted, but everytime you go to sleep, you enter an alternate timeline where one facet of your life is slightly different.

Granted but you still get little to nothing done

Granted, but you can only play wonderwall

Granted, but you can’t control how far forward or backward you go.

Granted, but you every time you use your power 10,000 people have to die 

Granted, but you have to move at the speed of a sloth for the entirety of it.

Granted, but the victims of your crime scene have to be people you care about

Granted, but you can only use Windows 98 with a dial up connection

Granted, but whatever you prove you aren’t believed about and are ridiculed for.

Granted, but the intentions are determined by a 22 year old College Arts Major.

Granted, but your other hand catches on fire.

Granted, but that doesn’t change the fact that children are starving all over the world.

Granted, but you don’t get a reach around.

Granted, but the world ends in two years.

Granted, but you are imprisoned for life.

Granted, but every day every hour on the hour, Cotton Eyed Joe plays, wherever you are, for the Rest. Of. Your. LIFE.

Granted, but you can only stay at shitty pay by the hour motels with moldy mattresses.

Granted, but your bones are horrendously brittle and break under the slightest stress.

Granted but you can only buy non-essential things online from foreign countries and you can’t get expedited shipping. Essential items can be bought normally.

Granted but you live in a cave in the Washington State woods, eat bugs and leaves, and are constantly mistaken for Bigfoot

Granted, but now you can’t breathe out of water. Congratulations on being the first real merman.

Granted, but it absolutely despises you.

Granted, but the body type you choose becomes immediately undesirable to the rest of humanity.

It is yours but it’s a deactivated movie prop

Granted, but the worlds are how a child perceives them.

OKAY TUMBLR. IT'S TIME TO SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.

This is a negativity post for girls