the moon is a mistress

Thank you this is the first post about self love that hasn’t made me want to throw things

fun fact: you don't need to be dead to haunt someone. you can literally go round to their house and do all the stuff a ghost would do right now

Anyone else remember having their parents try to teach you Emotional Regulation Skills way too early and only understanding in hindsight how fucking nuts it is to try to do what they were doing to a kid. Like having your mom tell you "you're the only one who's in charge of your feelings :) nobody can MAKE you feel bad unless you let them :)" but at the same time you'd get scolded for making someone else feel bad by being rude or acting out, so in practice you're both in charge of your own feelings but also everyone else's feelings, and that didn't feel fair, but you had no idea how to put that into words because you're five.

it only occurred to me years later, but if "you control your emotions" and "you choose how to feel" then every time my parents got angry at me it was because they chose to be angry, which doesnt seem like the kind of thing you want to be teaching your kid

everyone's always like "the media from my childhood that isn't good on revisit" but no one talks about the media from your childhood that IS actually that good and on revisit and you're like oh fuck oh shit that was masterful in technical ways i was too young to grasp but which still affected me nonetheless. and that explains why you're so prone to haterism. sorry they showed me the real good stuff first so i assumed all of the following stuff i experienced would be equally resonant. as if it's my fault

My brain exploded into rainbows when @dduane followed me because the Young Wizards books were the books that re-wired my brain in middle school, only for me to re-read them as an adult and only appreciate them more in ways I couldn't have at 12.

early to bed and early to rise leaves a man so fucked up that he dies

watching movies is so much more fun once your ear is trained to recognize the Wilhelm scream and the Dies Irae

So many people inspire me to be nothing like them.

[ID: A five-star Google review by Freaky Ted that says, "Crazy bartender with the curly hair and that look on her face like she was ready to kill me and then herself: I will pay you extra to spit in my drink!!! You're an absolute maniac and that was one HELL of a marg - blessings to your bloodline!" End ID]

The gather to meet the youngling

Have y'all ever seen that video of elephants in a sanctuary absolutely booking it across the enclosure to meet the New Baby, because

I love how they're clearly walking in formation until one of them sees the baby dragon and then they immediately all run over.

All the men I hunt for sport are sustainably and ethically sourced.

you’d be surprised at how many doctors will tell you that schizophrenics shouldn’t masturbate, have sexual fantasies or write/draw erotica, let alone date or have actual sex, because it “distracts them from recovery”, as if schizophrenia is a two week course of antibiotics and not a lifelong neurotype and disability

in general I notice this attitude in the schizophrenia and bipolar treatment community that people with these DXes are never allowed to do anything non-constructive that normal people can do in moderation, no alcohol, no caffeine, no thc, no going to late concerts or parties, no unplanned trips, no spontaneous situationships, not even junk food. the only thing we’re really allowed to partake in is nicotine, I assume because cigarettes and gum are good incentives for controlling our behavior. our lives have to be All Working On Ourselves, All The Time, because we have Erratic Crazy Person Who Can’t Make Their Own Decisions Disorder, and it’s an endless, thankless task because there’s no actual cure.

This is a named phenomenon, it's called the dignity of risk. Essentially, neurotypical and non-disabled people are allowed to make "bad" decisions. They're allowed to stay up late and drink too much and whatever else, even though those things could have negative impacts. However, people who aren't those things aren't afforded the ability to make "bad" decisions and do detrimental things. There's more to it than that but my shift is about to start, sorry.

@this-is-ableism

this is ableism.

@this-is-saneism

This is saneism