not enough to sleep

OH MY GOD THE IDEA OF RYBA BEING A MAMA IS KILLING ME

canon ryba (who is not canon and only exists on my blog) was found as a kitten tangled up in a fishing net (her name is ryba because it means fish in russian because she got caught like a little fish), but cat stepdad ilya is KILLING ME

Is so. Fucking. Cute. oh my god how Shane does not have constant cuteness aggression is beyond me.

Also! My cat’s name is fish! 🥰🥰

i am SO fond of the idea of giant hockey player gently disentangling the world's most pissed feral kitten as she yowls death and maiming and death and dismemberment and death at him with all of her tiny might

There’s an antihistamine he can take that doesn’t involve swallowing pills, starts working immediately, and won’t make him drowsy? GLORIOUS. He’s buying in bulk and keeping those blister packs everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE.

Ilya starts texting him pictures every time he finds one in his house. The locations become increasingly bizarre and Shane is like, “PUT IT BACK I MIGHT NEED IT SOMEDAY.” You want me??? To put an antihistamine??? Back in the dryer lint trap???

Yeah, he gets some heart palpitations and anxiety on the days he has to take 30 or 40 mg in one sitting, but that’s better than the Weird Dreams he gets on higher doses of benadryl. He met the hat man once and he’s not interested in doing it again, especially after the hat man made it clear he was not a fan of hockey.

And if he pre-doses with some reditabs before Mango Time followed by a couple afterwards with a benadryl top up that’s absolutely no one’s business but his.

P.S. Do not be like Shane. Do not do this. It is not worth it. You will regret it. (Eggplant parmesan, I miss you and love you. You are like my husband who has gone on a long sea voyage I know he won’t return from. But we are simply not compatible no matter how many drugs I take.)

Personally, I can see going sort of like this, just a nekkid goblin cat and his beautiful fluffy soulmate/heat source...

so i totally buy that they would send texts beforehand going, "have a good game! (but not too good! #teamcanada) you're going to do great!" and afterwards reaching out with a, "that sucks. you okay? it's hard getting a team to play together for the first time."

and the mindfuck of his actual parent on one hand telling him he did bad and is personally responsible and then someone else's parents being SO supportive even if he's playing for a different team

so now vegas actually has a bit of the opposite impact as canon in that the emotions are almost TOO present because it's holding hands, eye contact, "i'm glad i'm back with you" sex????

ilya has found baby ryba in his shoes SO many times

David gave himself a cramp laughing about it. Yuna was at first horrified but then also amused.

It all starts to go wrong (for Shane) when due to a series of hilarious (not for Shane, but for everyone else) misunderstandings Yuna signs Shane up for a K-pop idol trainee class, thinking it'll be fun to try something new while he has a little time off, and maybe it'll give him some confidence off the ice, help get him break out of his shell a little bit.

Unfortunately (for Shane, and everyone else in the class) he 1: actually has a phenomenal singing voice, and 2: he’s so competitive about anything physical that he ends up picking up choreography really quickly and then ends up so bored while he waits for everyone else to catch up that he puts his own flavor on the moves and accidentally develops his own style. With those two factors on his side his natural awkwardness is perceived as a persona, and he’s quickly tagged as The Sweet Shy One. Basically, through absolutely no fault of his own, he blows everyone else in the class away and impresses the instructors so much that they beg his parents to let him audition for the entertainment companies.

There is a world in which Shane is able to put his foot down right there and stop the madness before it goes too far, and the events of heated rivalry proceed as they do, just with the pictures and video proof of this time in his life weighing down his Damoclesian Sword of gayness

However. In MY WORLD.

Yuna and Shane get stuck in a miscommunication doom cycle (you know that thing they do where she thinks he wants this because he thinks he'll disappoint her if he doesn't, but she only wants him to do what makes him happy, but it's impossible for him to know what that is because he's focused on making her happy) that results in him changing the entire trajectory of his life and becoming an honest to god K-Pop megastar.

Bonus points for this outcome, because in this world Sveta becomes a huge METRO-$ stan, and through friendship-osmosis introduces Ilya to his latest and greatest obsession: Shane, the Sweet and Shy member who doesn't date because he's saving himself for marriage.