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gaycop

top reasons to get married

Firmly saying “That’s my wife!” and knock someone out in one punch

love i guess

sparrow-va

john mulaney ghostwrote this

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doktorgirlfriend

Brain: You’re a horrible, worthless, garbage person, and your life is going nowhere but to hell.

Me: I don’t know what the fuck you expect me to do about that at 11PM, my dude.

tankaramo

me: *has a breakdown over smth stupid* me @ me:

daily-showerthoughts

Bob’s Burgers would also be an appropriate title for SpongeBob SquarePants

yourbigsisnissi

xmenlesbians

Flat Bigfoot Theory: They’ve never caught him on camera because he turns 90 degrees and becomes too thin to see.

xmenlesbians

Flat Earth Theory is OUT, Flat Bigfoot Theory is IN

wanghedi

This is the THE hottest take I’ve ever heard

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knifepadme

i didnt shovel enough driveways as a kid so i didnt build enough character and thats why im the way that i am

ferretrade

i have never had to mow a lawn and you can tell

toadoasis

Me: *listening to various genres of god knows what* Spotify trying to make my discover weekly:

100493503004422

not to be unnecessarily fake deep on a wednesday afternoon but I feel like I don’t have a personality also that I’m not real

wofmutual-deactivated20181120

wheel of fortune

puzzle: H E _ _ O

category: greeting

contestant: spins

wheel: $5000

contestant: L!

pat: no L

missouri-misery

This is a horror novel

whereshadowsmakeshadows-deactiv

Filling out course evaluations for classes you did shitty in

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

it’s 2018 please put the k back in thicc

pandora15

thikc

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

you know what, I’ll take it

catboymuqing-moving

bill and ted but with 2010s slang would be fucking lethal

catboymuqing-moving

this is most un-woke ted my dude

vedajuno

*both in unison* oh, biggest mood

taquito

im stuck here with u dumb virgins 😡😡

sweetpinkypromises

Me the day after getting my asshole fingerblasted behind a 7-Eleven at 3:01 AM

taquito

catchymemes

eightbitwave

Elon Musk and Grimes in 2 years

simoncowellilluminati-deactivat

Elon Musk and Grimes tomorrow

sorryfortheraybans-deactivated2

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

FREE

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marimopet

crap-userrname16

satanicvaginas2-deactivated2020

girl what he do

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