!!

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

if you feel queerbaited by actual real human beings have you considered that maybe you're just queerstupid and queerparasocial and need to touch some queergrass

Trying to join a big Discord server when you're not really that familiar with Discord servers somehow manages to combine the social anxiety of trying to make new friends or ordering at a fancy new coffeeshop for the first time with the general chaos and technical barriers to entry of an MMO. I shuffle up to the counter and go "Um, hey, can I get---" only for someone named ☽ 𝓖𝓸𝓫𝓵𝓲𝓷 𝓕𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓻 ☾ [👑 Mod] [👺 Dark Wizard] [♣︎ BUNT] [🔮 Pengis Time 2022] • he/him to manifest in a cloud of bisexual coloured animated lightning, turning me instantly to dust and then announcing to the shop at large "Hey guys, please remember to read the #2026-updated-rules-terms-and-conditions and choose your role before you speak, also remember that ordering should go in #ordering-drinks, #ordering-cakes, or #ordering-a-cake-and-a-drink, unless you're 🔉just-using-the-bathroom. Thanks"

(me, insane since the day i was born) sorry haha this has just been an off day for me

trans women should not have to be sexy to you for you to respect them. Aaaaaand post

pokemon professors will do 10 years of research and be like i have a theory.. that Bulbasaur lives in the Grass

I JUST GOT PEGGED IN A BENTLEYYYYYYY

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

out of her 5 online boyfriends im at least top 3