⦻ transcend humanity humanely ⦻

[lightbulb lights up over my head] wait maybe I shouldn't compare myself to people who went to art school

for some reason people can’t admit that they think an aging celebrity is still an absolute smoke show so they say the person “hasn’t aged” instead of just saying they’re hot as hell

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

I've seen 3 of the 4 john wick movies and I love how all the dialogue is like. A dude will go like "Is that you John Wick?" And John Wick will go "Yeah..." and the guy will go "You doing some John Wicking tonight?" And John Wick will go "Something Like That..." And the dude will go "Shame it had to be this way" and John Wick will go "I'm Sorry..." and then John Wick caves the dude's head in with a giant wooden mallet. And it rules.

The rest of the dialogue is just outtakes from the Vampire the Masquerade player's manual

[ID: a threads post by @ thecoolestkate that says “idk regulated food safety kinda rocked i miss her” End ID]

tumblr blaze is such a funny feature. every blazed post ive ever seen has replies full of people cursing op out for forcing them to see it. for a small fee you too can invite strangers to be mad at you. pay money to be publicly shamed for your x reader fic. incredible.

I think i’m my own dead wife

they should have named the "friday the 13th" sequels "friday the 14th", "friday the 15th", "friday the 16th", etc. so eventually everyone would be scared Every Day

DO ANY YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS, A PUPPETEER AND VOICE ACTOR IS ELIGIBLE FOR AN OSCAR FOR PUPPETEERING AND VOICE ACTING. THIS TO MY KNOWLEDGE NEVER EVEN HAPPENED TO JIM HENSON, THIS MEANS SO MUCH FOR THE PUPPETEERING COMMUNITY.

most men have two fuckable holes. some men have three. but, against all odds, julius caesar (100 BC to 44 BC) managed to amass an astounding 25 holes by the time of his death

if you complete one task off your to do list you should be allowed 3 days of chilling afterwards as a reward

a broken link is a kind of dead wife