That sounds excruciating and he should 1) see a doctor, and 2) repent for his cursing us with seeing that tweet in the first place

no one appreciates that i could be a million times worse

i have a desperate suggestion

me too

Reblogging for a larger sample size 🐕🐕🐕

WOAH just saw spiderman eating pizza on a roof

oh shit he ate the whole thing . he just like me frfr

spiderman just left the pizza box on the roof but then came back a minute later and clearly felt bad for littering so now hes swinging through downtown holding an empty pizza box

hes hit a street light

he's swinging away now clearly very embarrassed and he thinks nobody saw it. i saw you spiderman

fuck

when your cat licks his paw…then rubs his head with the paw… wow….that’s his shmapoo and conditioner…..

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

i do bite my thumb, sir

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

is the law on our side if i say ay?

No

no, sir, i do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I bite my thumb, sir

Do you quarrel, sir?

No better

well, sir

DOST THOU WANT TO FUCKING GO, SIR?

DOST THOU THINK THOU CAN FUCKING TAKE ME, BRO?

DOST THOU EVEN HOIST? OUT TO THE COURT YARD, WITH HASTE.  

correct and beautiful

i cant stop saying "grisp it"

Sports fans are the most dramatic people I have ever known

Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of someone else's actions that I am directly impacted and severely affected by