i hate star trek because every time theyre like “oh my god the skringles have broken the crankus treaty with the skronglies which mean the flongles are starving because they cant get binkbonk berries” and every time im like “oh my god they cant get binkbonk berries…”

Out of Touch Thursday

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

blood on women is sexy if it’s someone else’s. blood on men is sexy if it’s theirs. hope this helps.

when my bf was visiting this past spring i had to keep telling him to sleep in bed w me without a shirt on and always played it off like it was bc i think hes hot (i do) but the truth is i’m a super aggro sleeper and i was so scared i was going to grab the front of his shirt and headbutt him as hard as i possibly could. i could not risk exploding his skull.. 

when he left he gave me one of his shirts so i could put it on the djungleskog he brought me and i do regularly wake up with my fists white knuckle balled up in the shirt after going in for the headbutt and missing, ricocheting off my apartment building wall hard enough to knock my 3ds off the nightstand, due to the floppy nature of the djungleskog bear. my worries are not unfounded i hope my bf can survive.

Honestly nothing but respect to the user who tagged this post “Sleep Violence.”

Everything everywhere all at once is a film about a girl ripping the entire universe apart just to find a part of her mother that she feels understands her. And everything everywhere all at once is a film about a mother ripping the entire universe apart just to understand her daughter. And my chest feels like it’s caving in when I think about it too long

Smoking the shit that made those butches stoned

my number one woman behavior is saying i’m fine with any pronouns and silently ranking people in my regard based on what they do with that information

This is George Costanza behavior