Memento Mori, Memento Vivere

joining the war on porn. on the side of the porn

this post is exclusively about gay porn btw so if you like it you're gay.

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around

maybe you need to ignore the urge to disappear and just exist a little louder instead

Keeping an alive tumblr in 2026 is proof of one's sincerity and authenticity - a type of person who enjoys posting for the sake of it with absolutely nothing to be gained....just the enjoyment of curation and self expression untainted by opportunity and relevance

did i ever tell you guys that in the mid 2010s there were a couple blogs that were talking shit about me and trying to cancel me for stupid fandom bullshit (I had a porn blog and I shipped billford oh nooo) and I had them blocked but sometimes I couldn't help ragebaiting myself and checking their blogs anyway to see what they were saying. so I used a browser extension to redirect their tumblr urls to crouton.net. and sometimes i would forget and be like "oouugh lemme see what those little shits are saying now" only to be brought to crouton.net instead. it immediately dissolved any anger or curiosity i had about what someone was talking shit about me. I was instead like "oh, crouton. thats right...looking at that stuff isnt good for me. thanks crouton" like it probably actually saved my mental health in college tbh

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

Sometimes my little cat will approach me all "what if there was a little cat now" and it's always an excellent idea I love when there's a little cat

people b saying things so definitively. like man i think it depends

the way people talk about comics broadly as a medium is literally like if I started raving and ranting about how all cinema is bad and I was talking exclusively about mission impossible and the fast & the furious franchises and pretended there have never been art movements in film and its just that. its JUST top gun.