Movin’ Right Along

do it scared do it stupid do it alone etc etc but don’t do it hungry. eat a snack first

americans are a saudi oil baron's idea of classy. brits are an american's idea of classy. the french are a brit's idea of classy. unfortunately the chain ends here since the french's idea of classy is also the french

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

disco elysium dialogue tree

forgot to say that im a teacher. a random 6th grader didnt spawn into my lunch break to mock me, though that is really really funny to think about

sometimes when I teach my kids classes I tell them "today I'm mr evil" which means if I see them smile or laugh I'm going to beat them with a pool noodle. this simultaneously makes them behave much better and infinitely worse.

mr evil hates children and hates fun and hates sloppy martial arts. he's like if the grinch was a bond villain. my kids like him more than me.

the secret reason I do this is because sometimes I run out of energy to emote and I'm like hurrah an excuse to be monotone and blank faced

My girlfriend's kids have started asking why Auntie Jody only comes to visit when their daddy's deployed

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.