Amethyst Orchid

“If I have to hear one more word about lightsabers being penis envy you are going to be one with the Force immediately.”

There is absolutely no way an organization that large doesn’t have factions that understand the force differently–my 15-person philosophy class couldn’t agree on a single thing we read all term.

The room immediately turns into chaos.

#Obi wan was pissed that his past presentation on Jedi/Mandalorian cultural parallelism was laughed out#so he put Anakin up to it just to send the room into a tailspin#Anakin LOVED it#he got to sword fight an eighty year old snake#and force chuck a dude into a wall#he officially never misses one of these anymore#every year he just goes up and says the most controversial thing he can to get the room to riot#the year after its ‘the more midichlorians you have the closer you are to the force’#he almost got stabbed by an old monk from the far side of dantooine#for that one#the council keeps letting him speak because it’s way less embarrassing to blame the fights on Skywalker#than admit everyone at an academic conference wants to murder each other#they did get a Nightsister to come to the conference btw#it was very enlightening and everyone liked her#the problem was that Anakin’s presentation that year was#‘master/student bonds are no different than lovers bonds in the force’#and#the Nightsister took REAL offense to that#Anakin is like 30% sure he got cursed#totally worth it for the look on Obi-Wan’s face tho#the Nightsister came back the next year#she brought friends!#they’re not sure if she did that because they were interested in the academics or if she wanted backup to beat the shit out of Anakin#but the council likes both cases#so they see this as an absolute win!

the truth is that he was never actually banned, he’s just been saying it so he doesn’t have to go. he started all the rumors himself

“I know this because the Force told me so” was Qui-Gon, who uses this as his regular excuse for everything, in this case, as an excuse to be a little shit-stirrer.

Original Trilogy + textposts

Excerpt: Padmé Amidala is far more reasonable than a woman divorcing a man like Anakin Skywalker should be. At least, she is in Cody's personal opinion. Professionally he can't tell her that he thinks her very soon to be ex-husband is an unmitigated asshole with no redeeming qualities. But he can think it. The fact of the matter is, Skywalker's lack of representation is only going to bite him in the ass given his attitude. Ferus Olin may never be as good as Cody, because Cody is the best, but he knew when to tell his client to shut up and back off. Cody has had enough clients like Skywalker to know that is what got Ferus fired. Cody's reputation protects him from such incidents these days - if they want him, they pay big money, shut up, and do as he advises - and if he detects even a hint that his client is going to be like Skywalker has, he cuts them loose. Cody is well known in his field. If he drops a client others notice and it makes them wary too.

Here's another commission from last year for @leapingbadger! 🥰

Somehow I doubt he's all of you.

There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force. When a Force-sensitive connects to the Force without the noise in their own heads coloring it, this is what they sense–peace, knowledge, serenity, harmony, the Force. It’s not a life motto to live by (it is used as a meditation mantra in the canon, though), but instead A DESCRIPTION OF THE FORCE.

Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force. Because the Force, sometimes, is a paradox, in that the emotions that are soaked into it by every living being in the galaxy (as every living thing is part of the Force), it does have emotion, it does have ignorance, it does have passion, it does have chaos, it does have death. The two different versions of the mantra–and the riddle that they make when combined, because the Jedi Order taught both versions to their children–are about the riddle of the Force itself and what it means to reach out to this tremendous field of energy and psychic web, given that you’re reaching out with your feelings, you’re reaching out based on where your own mindset is coming from. It’s about how you affect the Force and the Force affects you, it’s a description of what you’ll find when you open your mind and heart to the Force.

Satine is cut throat, but the Naberrie family has the money to allow them to hire the most cut throat divorce lawyer in Coruscant. Which, to Obi-Wan's eternal surprise, is not Satine. It is a man named Cody Fett, who, if Satine is to be believed, goes for the jugular with such exquisitely surgical precision watching him is like watching a work of art. She is good, but she dreams of being on a par with Fett.

week 1: a choice not taken

Cosplayers at a Star Trek Convention, 1976

You couldn’t just rewatch the episode to look at all the details of the costume. You got lucky with press photos showing up in magazines or you just watched the episode/movie while sketching furiously

I’m a semi old school cosplayer (started in 2001) so some of the old school techniques are still things I learned on (I’ve sketched from stuttering VHS tapes on pause and used the overhead transparency trick)… what we have access to now for costume recreation blows what they had out of the water just in terms of reference material, let alone specialty costume supplies like thermoplastics and cosplay wigs.

Her (sadly) barebones Fanlore page is here: https://fanlore.org/wiki/T.J._Burnside

Ahsoka Tano concept art | illustrated by Michael Uwandi & Shawna Trpcic

This is written by @siderealdei so let her know if you enjoyed it.

Sabine: YES YOU DO! IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY!

Palpatine, having heard that name 5641 too many times since becoming emperor: Not to sound like the Jedi I worked very hard to destroy, but have you ever considered…letting go?

Obi-Wan wakes up to the entire rebellion on his involuntarily obtained front porch.

Vader sends the chipped 212th after Obi Wan only for them to get snagged and dechipped by Rex's operation and now they are on their way to rescue their poor General. How did he get into this mess in the first place!?

However. The plan was most definitely not to take over the Empire.

Bail thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

Maybe his title is "Mandalore the Doubtful"? History books 0hrase it as him being skeptical of the Empire and their promises.

Obi Wan: Not you too.

Now, Ahsoka shows up and thinks the whole thing is hilarious and swears herself to service as well. She's Minion 2.

Obi-Wan: *blue screens*

Obi-Wan would appreciate it if he stopped finding blasters in every cupboard.

But after that, it quickly becomes apparent to the Empire, the Mandalorians are a rapidly growing threat. Their Republic, Obi Wan INSISTED on calling it that, is so enticing to the people suffering under the polished boots of the Moffs and the Emperor himself.

The entirety of the somewhat newly (re?)formed Mandalorian Empire Republic Empire take this to mean a challenge has been issued to their Mand’alor.

Might keep Palpy alive just so he can freak out and wish he wasn't bald so he could pull his hair out screaming about Obi Wan. The biggest thorn to have ever lived.

Since word of the guy apparently restarting the Mandalorian Empire got out the count has not made it past one day. They started counting it in hours. Five hours is the max so far. And that’s mostly because Vader was unconscious.

(Might make this so Obi Wan was raising Luke.)

Kenobi has been an irritant for a couple decades and now he’s going to have to deal with his force-cursed offspring? (Literally. They have the force. They are nothing compared to him, of course, but still.)

Meanwhile, Palpatine's drywall contractor is getting very wealthy indeed because he has to keep calling them after Vader ate the drywall for the 12th time that week.

Palpatine is wondering if it’s against Sith law or whatever to retire. He wonders if there is anywhere left in the galaxy he could go and never have to hear the name Kenobi ever again. Because is this worth it, really? He got his empire, sure, but Force, at what cost?

Cody is NOT helping and he's feeding the rumors.

Cody walks in on them and gives suggestions. He has a few ideas he’s been sitting on for a while that he thinks would work really well.

Rex: Give me a week and Obi Wan was found in a golden cradle on the front steps of the Jedi Temple.

Dear fanfic authors: Lightsabers may be your character's life. They may be the inanimate representation and resonance of their very soul. They may be ALL KINDS of colors! But grasping something with your hands that emits a beam of plasma hot enough to cut through solid rock requires a rather hefty handle. Especially if it's meant to be a two-handed weapon. Please, for the love of the Force, do not say that someone can hide this gigantic honkin' two-fister of a weapon down inside your character's boot.