Johnlock saved my life.

Boyfriend: So does being an ant person

Me: Again, baby, they’re not ants

Boyfriend: YES THEY ARE. They communicate via pheromones— LIKE ANTS.

Me: So back to the soulmate thing….

Boyfriend: You could trick them into following orders and thinking they’re dead by spraying them with a spritz bottle. I think they need a queen.

Me: So back to the soulmate thing…. Seems hellish!

Boyfriend: Not really. If being around the other person is what triggers the changes, if you want to go back to normal… all you need to do is leave.

Me, writing: (You found your soulmate. It’s changing you in scary ways. All you need to do is leave… how difficult would it be to leave? What pressures exist to stay?)

Boyfriend: So these ant-people—

these bots are not only annoying and harmful (if you fell for their lies and gave them money, an access to your personal informations), they’re also keeping artists and art from genuine audiences and destroying the community artists built with their audiences.

this is a post to say fuck you every bot out there.

WITH EVERY REBLOG THIS POST GETS, A BOT WILL DIE

Multi-chapter fics:

Indefinite Lines: 298k, 62 ch. This. Fic. Has. Everything. (rated E)

To Stand Before the Storm: 130k, 21 ch. John and Sherlock on a case on a deserted Irish island, with nothing to do but face their feelings. (rated E)

Monsters in the Woods: 114k, 16 ch. 80s camp counselor horror movie AU. (rated E)

Swallow the Night: 87k, 15 ch. John's stag-do doesn't go as planned. Uh-oh. Much smut. Much angst. Much pining. (rated E)

So Grant Us All a Change of Heart: 83k, 5 ch. Christmas Carol fusion, but with more pain (rated E)

Matchmaking for Solitary Animals: 71k, 13 ch. Sherlock goes on dates. John is jealous. (rated E)

You Might Just as Well Be Blind: 56k, 12 ch. When a serial killer starts targeting couples, Sherlock and John do what they must. Fake relationship. Angst. Pining. Smut. BAMF!Hudders. (rated E)

Full Mount: 54k, 10 ch. Still angry after Sherlock's return from the dead, John joins an MMA gym to cope. Hurt/comfort. (rated E)

Sleepwalkers: 27k, 6 ch. Five times Sherlock and John share a bed after a near-death experience, and one time they share a bed for…other reasons. (rated E)

Sentient Creatures: 26k, 9 ch. Alt first meeting where everything is smutty beautiful and nobody is an idiot. (rated E)

An Elegant Solution: 19k, 3 ch. Sherlock is aroused by the idea of John with another man, but only if that man is Sherlock himself. Absolutely shameless smut. (rated E)

Incontrovertible Proof: 14k, 13 ch. John likes the purple shirt. Sherlock is determined to find out why. (rated T)

Oh How the Ghost of You Clings: 13k, 6 ch. Sherlock has been dead for over a year, and John fully intends to spend January 29th trying not to cry. The universe has a different plan. (rated T)

Single-chapter fics:

Winning the Goat: 17k. Domestic fluff. Slice of life. Smut. Parentlock. The Monty Hall problem. This fic will make you smile. (rated E)

Welcome Distractions: 14k. Sherlock gives John a call while he's away in Dublin. Steamy shenanigans ensue. (rated E)

Hypotheticals: 7k. John loves Sherlock. Sherlock has questions. (rated E)

Such a Clatter: 6k. The bed at mummy and father Holmes' house is far too loud for any proper fun, right? (rated E)

Common Faux-Archaic Word Swaps

Pronouns & Address

you → thou / thee (singular, informal)

your → thy / thine

yours → thine

yourself → thyself

my → mine (before vowels: mine eyes)

sir / ma’am → my lord / my lady

friend → good sir / good woman

Tip: Overusing thou can feel forced. Many modern fantasy stories skip it entirely.

Verbs & Actions

are → art

is → be

have → hast / hath

do → dost

did → didst

will → shall

can → may

must → must needs

go → depart

come → approach

leave → take one’s leave

stay → remain

die → perish

kill → slay

help → aid

stop → cease

begin → commence

Common Descriptors

before → ere

after → henceforth

now → presently

soon → anon

always → ever

never → ne’er

maybe → mayhap

nothing → naught

anything → aught

angry → wroth

afraid → afeard

tired → weary

quiet → hushed

dark → gloomed / shadowed

Faux-Archaic Phrases (Very Usable)

“I would have words with you.”

“So it shall be.”

“You speak boldly.”

“This matter is settled.”

“I will hear no more of this.”

“Mark my words.”

“Gods be good.”

“By my honor.”

“It is not my place.”

“Let it be known.”

“You overstep.”

“Enough of this.”

“On my life.”

“Say it plain.”

Dialogue Tone Shifts (Modern → Faux-Archaic)

“What do you want?” → “Speak your purpose.”

“I don’t trust you.” → “I place no faith in you.”

“You lied to me.” → “You spoke false.”

“We’re out of time.” → “Time runs thin.”

“This is dangerous.” → “This path is perilous.”

“I’ll handle it.” → “I shall see to it.”

Syntax Tricks (This Is the Secret Sauce)

Instead of archaic words, shift sentence structure:

Put emphasis first → “Never have I seen such folly.”

Drop contractions → “I will not” instead of I won’t

Slightly formal word order → “Gone are the days of mercy.”

Replace casual filler → “Well…” → “So…” / “Then…”

Writing Tip:

Good faux-archaic prose is about restraint, not accuracy.

Squicks are similar to disgust. But it differs from it in that a "squick" usually refers purely to the physical sensation of disgust and repulsion. It's more or less just the reaction of the body, not a morally judgement on something.

And squicks are judgement free. "I don't like this thing and I'm not going to engage with it in any way, shape or form, but you do you! Yay you!"

it's okay to disappoint people

it's okay to work slowly

it's okay to let yourself rest

it's okay to drop projects

Stop treating yourself like you are the workers at a fast food franchise.

Chapter 1&2 of ‘The Omega of Iowa University’ up on AO3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/77234211

Johnlock - College/Uni AU - Omegaverse from John’s POV. I'm excited to share it with you! This one’s going to be a long fic (90k words). Rated E.

There’s a compassion fic from Sherlock’s perspective too. 😉

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Sherlock (BBC TV 2010) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mycroft Holmes & Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson Characters: Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, John Watson, Greg Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson (Sherlock Holmes), Philip Anderson (Sherlock) Additional Tags: Holmes Brothers, Family Feels, Sickfic, Sick Sherlock Holmes, Fever, Fever Dreams, Brotherly Affection, Protective Mycroft Holmes, Caring Mycroft Holmes, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mycroft holmes is a good brother, Illnesses, Nightmares, Sherlock Holmes is Bad at Feelings, Sherlock Holmes Needs a Hug, Comfort, Whump, POV Mycroft Holmes, on chapter two, Canon Compliant, No Romance, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Cuddling Summary:

Sherlock finally lands a case after two days of boredom. Only to do what he does best: neglect his well-being and come home with a raging fever.

Delirious and barely coherent, he keeps asking for Mycroft.