MotsPassants

(and I do genuinely mean conversation, I’d love to hear other people’s input on this, because I did just write a long-ass post about the subjectivity of interpretation in translations)

So when I started interacting with the fandom and reading people’s fics, I got really confused by the way some folks were writing dialogue for Lan Wangji; he often sounded super awkward, spoke in fragments, and sometimes exclusively in third person. To be fair, all of those are elements of his speech at various times, but like, seeing it in English-language material felt like a really heavy-handed way of rendering it in translation?

I guess when you use third person within the first three episodes of the show, it makes a pretty big impression on the audience

This is not at all intended to be a criticism of people who are 1000% writing and creating wonderful work, which is more than I can say for myself, but I want to poke and prod and tease at some linguistic nuance here.

Take a deep breath, grab a pot of tea (this’ll take more than a cup), because we’re going to take the scenic route on this one–

Yuandao used to be a reknown cultivator, and the pendant was meant to be a courting gift. The family of his Lover agreed to their marriage if he managed to find the other pair, of what used to be a couple of jade rabbits. But during his quest, his beloved was cursed to forget him, and his Lover's family took avantage of his lack of memory to marry him to someone else. Yuandao was barred from aproaching him, yet he still kept the pendant for decades. Now he finally decided to let it go, which was why he chose to gift it to Shizui.

Then Yuandao bid his farwell and left the city while LSZ hurried back to Gusu.

Eager to fulfil his last wishes, LSZ spends years looking for WWX, hoping he would agree to a ghost wedding to put his father to rest. Except, WWX's cast a curse of forgetfulness upon himself once he parted with the pendant, and LWJ is reluctantly to cause him pain by making WWX remember him.

LWJ still remains by his Beloved side and watches after him. Then after a long and lonely life, WWX dies in a nighthunt, LWJ allows himself to go, and they finally reunite with each other in Ghost city.

LSZ forgives his family for the pain they caused to his father but never forgets.

Mo Xuanyu first met Lan Wangji after he was thrown out of Koi Tower. Rumors about him trying to seduce his half brother had started to spread and Jin Guangyao had no choice but to remove him from the sect. The Jin guards had called him horrible names and then shoved him from the stairs of Koi Tower. The fall had felt like it lasted for an eternity before he finally rolled to a stop at the bottom.

He didnt know how long he laid there, bruised and hurting and crying into the dirt, before the faintest sound of silk robes made him look up. Hangung-Jun was with no doubt the most beautiful man he had ever seen. Pure and cold and breath taking, like a deity untouched by the filth of the world around him. Mo Xuanyu was in such awe of him. He was certain that he fell in love that very moment.

"Come," Hangung-Jun said. Without hesitation Mo Xuanyu scrambled to his feet and followed on shaking legs. Hangung-Jun could have led him to the Burial Mounds or the edge of the world and Mo Xuanyu would have followed. Instead he brought him to the Cloud Recesses. He brought him to his home.

"Thank you," Mo Xuanyu tried to say.

"Do not speak," Hangung-Jun ordered swiftly. "Never speak."

They did not have a proper wedding or even a simple tea ceremony. They did not wear red and their bows were done in the privacy of the jingshi with only Zuwu-Jun to witness it. Mo Xuanyu was not unhappy with their wedding. What right did he have to be unhappy when this was how Hangung-Jun wanted it? He would do anything, anything, that his husband asked of him. He dedicated himself to being a good, obedient husband who did whatever Hangung-Jun asked of him.

But then one day Zuwu-Jun came to the jingshi looking regretful. "You will be moving out of the jingshi immediately," he explained. "A house in Caiyi Town has been set up for you for the time being."

Mo Xuanyu did not ask why they were leaving the jingshi or when his husband would be joining him in Caiyi or why they were not simply being moved into a new house inside the Cloud Recesses. He only nodded and busied himself packing his belongings.

As Zuwu-Jun led him out of the Cloud Recesses they passed a man in dark robes shouting about how he refused to be parted from his donkey. Mo Xuanyu wanted to scold him for making such a racket and disturbing the peace of the Cloud Recesses, but said nothing because he is a good, obedient husband.

The house in Caiyi town was lovely. It was small and close enough to the lake that he could fall asleep listening to the water. He was given a servant who cooked and cleaned for him and Zuwu-Jun left him with more then enough money to last a lifetime. Zuwu-Jun left and did not return. Hangung-Jun never joined him.

Four months later all of Caiyi town was bustling with gossip and business. Hangung-Jun was getting married to the newly resurrected Yilling Patriarch! Mo Xuanyu wanted to scoff and correct people. "Hangung-Jun is already married," he wanted to say. "I have been a good, obedient husband who does as he's told and Hangung-Jun would never throw me away," he wanted to shout. "I am Hangung-Jun's husband, stop spreading such horrible lies," he wanted to scream.

I know we joke (and we SHOULD) about jgy the shipper et etc but in the end, it's whimsical humor.

In the scene where jgy has our heroes trapped, held hostage, and villian monologues about poor Lan Wangji's unrequited gay love...

All this fake sympathy for LXC's brother is 100% bad intent: he's revealing a "dirty secret" to the hostages & Jin minions about his biggest threat (the biggest fire power) that would stain lwj in the eyes of the sect world. A secret that might repulse wwx when laid out publically - make him let down lwj easy at best.

(Recall, jgy is THAT GUY who killed his own infant son out of fear of public disdain.)

What is actually happening here is that he's trying to shame them. Just like how he attacks JC in another scene, destabilizing him w his words, and plays mind games w LXC. JGY's greatest weapon in his persuasion and narrative building. His words are just as much of a weapon as the string he slides around wwx's neck.

But none of this plays out the way jgy expects it to AT ALL. He sees it going weird, kinda sideways, but is completely unprepared for what actually happens.

Which is a key component of the humor. But also a fucking AMAZING climactic moment for a novel that has reminded the reader and the characters over and over that they exist in a homophobic society where tainted public reputation and rumors can have violent, deadly consequences.

And what does wwx do in the face of that? Before jgy can start in on lwj w his word knives, wwx SCREAMS that he wanted to have sex with the man who was just maliciously outed. Like, yelps it at the top of his lungs

He grasps what the villian is trying to do and turns it on its head. He takes the power of the moment back. You want to other, to humiliate, and to degrade Lan Wangji? Figuratively and LITERALLY taking his power away? Well, fuck you. Actually we had. sex. MAN ON MAN SEX. AND I WANTED IT. AND ILL DO IT AGAIN.

The power of this wholesale rejection of jgy's narrative, the sheer audacity of this gay pride rant, stuns & unhinges the master of whispers and wwx springs free from the trap.

The novel doesn't allow us to forget about the othering that WWX/LWJ have just experienced. They are seated away from everyone else, people are uncomfortable around them.

This only underscores how absolutely badass it was. And how irrevocable. It forshadows what is to come, as they continue to express affection off on their own side, before "eloping" on their own at the end. (The only reason drama!LWJ can BE Chief Cultivator is that this scene never happened.)

Going to Cloud Recesses was probably the closest thing he’d had to a vacation in years. (Which, explains a lot about his general attitude while there. And why Jiang Cheng kept wanting to strangle him. Imagine going for study abroad and your obnoxiously talented sibling spent the whole time site-seeing and getting straight A’s while you studied your ass off just to get A’s and B’s.)

This is not, in any way, trying to say that Lan Wangji was not mature for his age, or that he didn’t have duties and responsibilities of his own, just that he wasn’t taking on an adult’s workload while still in puberty. I think a large period of his personal growth started with the burning of Cloud Recesses. The Wen Indoctrination Camp is a dark mirror of the Lan Lectures as the fandom points out, but people seem to miss that it was also a personal dark mirror of Wei Wuxian‘s Cloud Recesses experience. Forced to obey the rules of another sect that he found ridiculous, physically punished for what amounts to a personal grudge, most definitely did not have his choice of food or drink. Some of the only things that made the Summer Camp From Hell bearable for him were probably all related to Wei Wuxian. Noticeably, this is the first time that he is able to experience the benefits of Wei Wuxian being a pest to authority figures, and see some of the moral benefits to Wei Wuxian’s antics.

And then after the crucible of growth and maturity that is war, they are both indisputably adults, and mostly mature. Lan Wangji has decided that it’s Wei Wuxian or no one at this point, and while he has a few rough edges, he’s ready to commit. Wei Wuxian however is not in the headspace of a romantic relationship being possible. We know he’s at least a little bit of a romantic himself, because no one saves/protects their first kiss like that if they aren’t. And given that the word “protect” is used, it wasn’t due to lack of interest in his person. But the majority of the romantic relationships he has observed first hand have been unmitigated disasters, and he doesn’t remember his parents. It’s no wonder he questions Jiang Yanli about romance. He’s trying to figure out if she’s agreed to be the next generation version of Jiang Fengmian at best, or the next generation version Madam Jin at worst. He wants to know why she’s going back to the man that has been hurting her, and quite badly, since they were at least fifteen. I tend to think it was for longer, because of how willing Jiān Fengmian was to break off a political alliance when the Wen were on the move. This is, actually, also a scene that reminded me of my own brother. There’s roughly the same age gap between he and I as between Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian, and while he is an adult and mature, his own grasp of romance has lagged behind. I’ve had conversations with family over this where they all comment that what he’s found that helps him understand to be juvenile, I have observed to be about right for him emotionally.

So, while I adore fix-it’s and early get together stories, I don’t think the two of them were in compatible places in life until Mo Xuanyu did his thing. There, after he fulfills the summoning rituals demands (and in the novel, the only targets were the the Mo and A-Tong) he is free of all debts. With the core transfer he squared his debt with the Jiang Sect as a whole, and with protecting the Wen he paid any remaining debt between he and Jiang Wanyin by saving the latter’s honor even if no one else knew it. Any debt between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng ended when the latter set the dog on him. (That does not mean the emotional connection between them snapped then, but with the breaking of the promise, it was the last debt tie.) This is literally the first time since Jiang Fengmian took him off the streets that Wei Wuxian has not been either debt bound or tethered to anyone. For the first time, his life is his own.

After my previous posts on WWX and LWJ’s names (now LSZ’s also), I decided to do another one on Jiang Cheng, as I think this reference sheds so much light on his significance in the story.

Jiang Cheng’s name derives from a poem by renowned Tang Dynasty poet Du Mu. “云阔烟深树，江澄水浴秋” (yún kuò yān shēn shù, jiāng chéng shuǐ yù qiū) translates to “vast clouds and mists entwine the deep forest trees; autumn bathes in the clear river”. Cheng (澄) itself means “to make [sth] clear and unclouded”.

The poem paints a vivid picture of autumn’s colours dancing on the clear water. Interestingly, the phrase 秋水 (directly meaning autumn waters), is used to describe a longing gaze, deriving from the Chinese idioms 秋水伊人 (meaning the friend one is longing for) and 望穿秋水 (meaning await with great anxiety).

My heart aches at this discovery. Doesn’t this bring to mind JC’s plight of persuading WWX to abandon the dark and perilous demonic path, his envy of WWX and LWJ’s relationship, the months he spent waiting anxiously for his return from the Burial Mounds, and looking after Chen Qing for 13 years whilst keeping faith that one day he might see his brother again? JC’s father chose his name to mean “clear, untarnished”, however throughout his life he lived in WWX’s shadow... he hid his true feelings towards him behind brash words in life and raging condemnation in death.

Jiang Cheng’s zi, or courtesy name Wan Yin (晚吟), comes from a poem by another Tang Dynasty poet Xu Hui. “茶香秋梦后，松韵晚吟时” (chá xiāng qiū mèng hòu, sōng yùn wǎn yín shí) translates to “I wake from a hazy nap in autumn, enshrouded by the fragrant aroma of tealeaves; at dusk I saunter and recite poetry, the pine branches swaying in time”. The words Wan (晚) means “at night” and Yin (吟) means “to recite” or “to cry/lament”. The poem’s depiction of a deep sense of abstruse melancholy – as the poet spends his days in Autumn idly, being indifferent to the world – is widely quoted by Chinese literati of today’s age.

To me, this is a great depiction of how lost and despondent JC would have been the first few years after WWX’s death. Let’s not forget that he is the only surviving character in the story who lost every single person dear to him the moment WWX died – it’s hard to imagine how he managed to rebuild the Sect without anyone by his side...

I keep putting this aside (because my brain is easily distracted) but here it is; my post about demonic cultivation and how Wei Wuxian’s relies on Empathy.

This is why no one can match him in power too.

First off we got to acknowledge that this has nothing to do with CQL. It cannot apply because it is not demonic cultivation being used. Demonic cultivation can also be referred to as gui cultivation.

“Yao are created from non-human living beings; Mo are created from humans; Gui are created from the deceased; Guai are created from dead non-humans. ”

-Taming Wangxian translation, ch13

In other words, it’s necromancy. Which doesn’t exist in The Untamed because of censorship. No undead or ghosts there in the series. Just ghoul puppets who are living people transformed by “evil energies”.

The second thing to note is that MDZS is not, actually, in Wei Wuxian’s POV. We get his POV the most but we see others plenty of times and the narration often actually goes along with “common knowledge” in a subtle way. MDZS is in third person.

This is because of a fact that’s too easy to forget; Wei Wuxian not being the villain is meant as a plot twist. Thanks to it being a Late Arrival Spoiler and The Opening of CQL, everyone knows he’s heroic.

But the original intention of the novel is to trick the audience while throwing breadcrumbs and hints of it being otherwise. It gives MDZS a great re-read bonus (especially if you don’t know Lan Wangji has liked Wei Wuxian since youth; if you look at his actions in isolation from the genre in the past he definitely doesn’t come across as liking Wei Wuxian!).

So Wei Wuxian’s narration isn’t unreliable. He conceals things, hides things with sarcasm and jokes, and has a few rare things he downplays, but he’s not full on “unreliable”. He tells the truth, his own truth. You gotta watch for the fact a lot of what people say is not actually supported by the narrative. A big example is what people say immediately after Jiang Yanli’s death (chapter 78). It’s one of the biggest things that is basically shaking the reader saying do not trust the words of the NPCs, pay attention to the events around said words. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s words, in comparison to the rest of the cast, are the ones speaking true. Though both of them carefully “prune” their words even so when it comes to certain topics.

With that out of the way, let’s talk about demonic cultivation and how it’s shown to be an empathic path within the text!

(I'll pick the second one!)

Lan Qiren has always been proud of Wangji. But he has always feared for him. Wangji is the perfect gentleman, steady, composed, righteous, and diligent.

But he had still refused to move from his mother's doorstep for days after she died. Some part of him learned to fear for Wangji then.

That part stayed quiet until Wei Wuxian arrived. Lan Qiren saw how his nephew's gaze followed the wild boy, curious, furious, and predatory. He had known then. He had known the boy would be the ruin of him like Madam Lan had been the ruin of his brother.

Years and actions that followed only proved him right. Wangji's love brought him to his knees.

But fate works in mysterious ways. Wei Wuxian is resurrected and the revelations that follow make Lan Qiren take a deep, hard look at himself.

Wei Wuxian remains culpable for much of what happened but it is clear he's not the direct cause. Much of the tragedy could've been avoided if they were all less interested in playing politics and getting revenge?

Now, after everything is revealed and Wei Wuxian gets to walk away, Lan Qiren wonders.

Will Wangji let him walk away? The curiousity and fury no longer linger in Wangji's gaze. They're replaced by protectiveness and a sense of ownership. Lan Wangji stands between Wei Wuxian and the world. No one, not even Wei Wuxian himself, can convince him to abandon his self-appointed duty.

Lan Qiren is certain Wangji will never let Wei Wuxian go.

He is proven correct when they return to Cloud Recesses already married. He is proven correct when he starts hearing pleasured screams and pleas for mercy almost every night.

Wangji doesn't blink when Lan Qiren adds a new rule to the Wall. He is content to have Wei Wuxian and doesn't need the entire clan to like that man.

It takes months for him to realize why.

They've effectively isolated Wei Wuxian, left him completely in Wangji's care. He has no support system besides a group of juniors who are already too enamored by their Hanguang-jun. He has no ties with the Jiangs. Jin Rulan is too young to offer any sort of help.

As he watches the couple on their leisurely evening walk, he notices how Wangji keeps Wei Wuxian at his left, walking between his husband and the other Lans enjoying the fine weather outside.

He notices how his nephew repays every curious glance with a flat stare.

Madam Lan was locked out of sight. Wei Wuxian is allowed to be seen but he is inaccessible nonetheless.

Lan Qiren looks away for a moment, thinking about family, justice, and turning a blind eye.

He has learned his lesson.

With a nod, he walks over to his desk and pens a note.

It is time to invite Wei Wuxian for tea.

There's something comforting about Wei Wuxian. Jin Ling admits it to himself reluctantly, several months after the Guanyin Temple incident.

Something solid, like a mountain. Something steady and reliable, like the Sun.

It draws him in and makes him seek the man out often, even as he grumbles about it.

Wei Wuxian grins and teases him, enjoys flustering him but-

But Jin Ling always feels safe with him. Wei Wuxian is safe. He doesn't covet Jin Ling's power or influence. He doesn't have a volatile temper. There's no need to thread carefully around him. Even the most sensitive topics are up for discussion.

"Why did you do it?" He asks one day. They're alone in the Jingshi, just enjoying the pleasant weather and mild breeze. He has been curious about it for a while so he presses on, "Why give up your Golden Core?"

Wei Wuxian touches his chest absently, a brief flicker of complicated emotions flashing across his face. "It was the right thing to do."

"Was it?" He demands, "I believe Jiujiu would've survived and still managed to lead the Jiang Clan. You could have stayed and helped him. Why choose that path?"

Wei Wuxian smiles wryly, "It truly believed I had no other choice, Jin Ling." His uncle reads his expression and his smile softens into something sweet. He raises a hand and tucks a stray strand of Jin Ling's hair away, the touch warm and loving.

Jin Ling struggles not to lean into it, unaccustomed to gentleness.

Wei Wuxian probably notices. Which is why his warm, steady hand lands on his shoulder to give it a light squeeze.

"Would you do it again? Now?" He can't help but ask.

Wei Wuxian turns away to look at the sky contemplatively. "Probably not." He admits, "I was only seventeen then. My thoughts were chaotic, to say the least. Madam Yu laid the blame solely at my feet, Jiang-zongzhu's last words to me were a command to protect Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng was angry and traumatised." He takes a deep breath, "And I was dealing with all of that over my own sense of loss. My mental state then was... painful to endure. Giving Jiang Cheng my Golden Core was a relief. The cost was high but it settled something in me. I no longer felt so guilty and burdened by debt. A debt I had felt keenly from the moment I stepped into the Lotus Pier as a child."

Jin Ling tries to understand but he can't really comprehend it. He is just a year away from being seventeen himself. He still feels very much like a child, especially when he has meetings with Sect Elders.

"I think it was a wrong decision." A part of him feels guilty for admitting it. He loves his Jiujiu but he has never been very comfortable in his presence. He has seen far too much of the violence contained in Jiang Wanyin to be completely at ease. "I think..." He hesitates, "You would've handled the political power struggle better."

Wei Wuxian spares him an amused glance, "Truly?"

"Yes." He says firmly because he has thought about it. He truly believes that Wei Wuxian would've been able to come up with a way to save the Wens and resolve things peacefully.

"You needed someone cunning and courageous to deal with my grandfather's thirst for power." He says, eyes focusing on a distant tree, "Jiujiu isn't stupid but he isn't very perceptive."

"Aiya," His uncle sighs, smiling ruefully, "Maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong. We will never know. We can speculate endlessly but we can never come up with a perfectly peaceful solution. Someone is always going to be disappointed." Jin Ling feels a flash of warmth go through him as his uncle wraps an arm around his shoulder, gentle and comforting.

"Every generation learns from the mistakes of their predecessors. Our seniors became lost to their ambition and greed. We learned to walk the difficult path of righteousness in response." Wei Wuxian looks down at him with a soft smile, "Your seniors followed their ideals with reckless fervor. You'll walk a more cautious path in response."

Jin Ling feels his eyes sting when his uncle presses a gentle kiss against his forehead, "You and Sizhui are better than us. Stronger, kinder, and still righteous."

"Lies." He whispers against his uncle's chest, his heart thudding wildly. He feels... cherished. Him and Sizhui, nephew and son, family. "I could never sacrifice so much."

I’m starting to realize just how subversive MXTX writes her characters.

Just focusing on Luo Binghe, Wei Wuxian, and Xie Lian. All of them go through seriously traumatic events.

But how they respond is subversive within the genre and their roles within it.

Luo Binghe is the gong. He’s the top, he’s the tough one. He’s supposed to be the resilient one from all his trauma. That’s the standard there. But he’s not. That’s the subversion. He’s heavily made weak by it and needs a lot of support and love from Shen Qingqiu to move forward and heal.

That is the exact opposite of Wei Wuxian and Xie Lian.

Both of them are the shou. The bottom. The ones whose pain should make them weak and sad and thus someone fully for the gong to protect.

They don’t need it.

Probably because where I lurk around, I see this especially when it comes to Wei Wuxian. Everyone addresses the things he goes through as if it weakened him. But the truth is, it didn’t. He is happy, content. He is not wrecked with guilt or trauma. He is accepting all that happened, has some regret of course, but he stands up and walks forward into his new life with good cheer. Despite, according to MXTX, having spent his afterlife stuck in a nightmare.

This includes how people address the abuse he went through from Yu Ziyuan. Everyone acts like it’s a big deal and it really isn’t to Wei Wuxian. He does, in fact, show signs he needs to properly process that as something that was traumatic, but it’s not a huge deal like everyone makes it.

Pain does not define him.

Xie Lian takes what happened to Wei Wuxian and takes it up to eleven. He has serious amount of things that put him through stress and trauma…but it’s been centuries since. He’s learned to be resilient, to walk forward despite all the pain. It’s Hua Cheng who is more traumatized by the pain Xie Lian went through. Xie Lian is able to accept the pain, he knows he can handle it.

For Xie Lian, and Wei Wuxian, it’s more important that they can set down their burdens with their husbands to carry them. It’s not that they can’t handle it.

They can. They can take the worst of life and keep going forward. Xie Lian is someone where it just took one person being kind for him to get back up on his feet. Wei Wuxian is someone who actually died and yet does not pursue vengeance when he returns because he really doesn’t see the point.

This, meanwhile, is something everyone seems to gets lost on. I do love a good hurt/comfort fic, but fandom seems to forget that there is no weakness and woobiefying going on for Wei Wuxian and Xie Lian.

For Luo Binghe yes. But not for those two. Their suffering did not make them weak. They were the type to be forged in iron and blood and pain.

The fact Luo Binghe was not is entirely part of his own subversive storyline and how Shen Qingqiu got it wrong about this Luo Binghe turning into the Binghe he read about in PIDW. Him being “bread that rises when it rests” type of person is what is subversive.

While we got Wei Wuxian and Xie Lian who are diamonds forged under extreme pressure and don’t need more then a little hope, a little kindness, to push forward.

Sorry for taking a bit longer with this! I really wasn't sure how to write it? I hope you like it, nevertheless! It turned out softer and more introspective? But at least it has Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji mooning over WWX? :)

by popular demand, ta-da! 

if you’re new to rebuttable presumption, here’s a quick 10 point summary to the verse.

quick answers to FAQs: 1) idk if i’ll ever put this up on ao3. it’s going to be a nightmare to edit, and, unfortunately, i don’t have that sort of time on my hands; 2) if you want to play around with this verse (e.g. write any of the aus that i’m not writing ahahaha), go for it; 3) i know there’re still bits y’all want to read (e.g. wangxian wedding) - there’re still prompts i’m keeping in drafts, and will be occasionally dropping extras, but for all intents and purposes, the main timeline is done and any extras shouldn’t affect that timeline, so i’m marking rp verse as completed. 

current as at: 23 march 2021

status: completed (unscheduled extras will be added from time to time)

although it’s true AO3 does allow all fannish content provided it’s properly warned for, there’s a long history there - of spaces being used by fans until the host decided whatever we were doing was too weird and distasteful and either kicking us off, banning certain content, or changing the nature of the site until it was no longer viable as a host.

you’re referring to the LJ Strikethrough of 2007, which, being an ancient crone, I lived through, and since I was hanging out in the last vestiges of SGA and in bandom, I saw some of the fallout. this was before LJ was sold to the Russians (which is a whole ‘nother story), when it was still owned by Six Apart; in an effort to clean up LJ’s act, Six Apart decided to delete all accounts using tags like underage, incest, rape, etc.

this was supposed to get rid of actual child porn on the site, and I hope it did, but it also targeted fan communities. this was a problem for a couple reasons; for one thing, not every story tagged with these words is in favor of them; for another, these things happen to real people and these personal posts were also potentially in danger of being attacked; for the last one, look, I ain’t into this kind of fic but people write about what people write about, and if it’s fictional and not explicitly banned in the TOS (correct me if I’m wrong; I don’t think written content about this stuff was banned?) then it’s not cool for a content host to just start deleting communities without warning.

but that’s what happened! these deletions were also primarily targeting slash communities, which smacked of some serious homophobia since things were deleted that had nothing to do with any of this kind of content.

eventually someone found out it was this super conservative religious group who’d sent a list of journal names to Six Apart, and who if I remember correctly targeted slash fic on purpose, even after it became clear that the fic was, well, totally fictional. after a while, Six Apart admitted they’d made a mistake and started to reinstate journals, but all of fandom was pretty shaken up.

THEN Boldthrough happened, which was essentially the same debacle several months later, at which point fandom began its long slow migration from LJ to GJ, IJ, and eventually AO3, Twitter, and tumblr.

AO3 was opened in 2008 in response to several incidents, of which Strikethrough was a really intense one. remember, also, that back in 2008 the stigma surrounding fandom was significantly greater and more shameful than it is today, so finding hosts willing to archive fic was difficult unless someone had the dough to pay for server space - often not an option. this was also back when fanfic.net’s HTML restrictions were so great that users couldn’t use any special characters or bold or italicize anything, and it didn’t allow R-rated content, so it was clearly not ideal. in addition, although cease & desist letters were much less common than they were in the early 2000s and before, DMCA takedowns were still a phantom on the horizon.

LONG STORY SHORT, even though pedophilia is reprehensible and I personally cannot stomach fanfic that involves that kind of content, AO3 was founded specially as a safe space for fandom communities that could not find homes elsewhere. it requires warnings precisely for that reason, and if you find a story that is not properly warned, you can alert the admins and get the story labeled appropriately.

In the same way, writing about underage teens getting it on–sometimes with each other, sometimes with adults, sometimes consensually, sometimes not–is not the same as child pornography, nor does reading a fic about Hermione and Snape getting it on while she was his student mean someone thinks that would be a good and/or healthy thing in real life.

Fiction affects reality, but fiction is not reality.  And writing about something does not mean you want to do it in real life, or believe that anyone should.

Let’s take a closer look at that “Ao3 supports pedophilia!” shall we?

1) The only fics I have ever come across that had actual pedophilia (i.e. someone having sex with a child), it was clearly and explicitly abuse.  It was not meant to titillate or arouse.  It was meant to horrify.  It was seldom explicit.

2) There’s a lot more incest, but it is usually portrayed either as explicitly mutually consensual (i.e. Sam/Dean) or as abusive.

3) I’ve been in fandom for a decade and a half.  When people start getting upset at “omg pedophilia, think of the children!” the fics they are usually objecting to aren’t actually pedophilia.  Usually, it is teenagers having sex, especially queer sex.  And people don’t like that, and use pedophilia as an excuse to shame people for writing/reading sex they don’t like.

Let’s look closer at Strikethrough, shall we?  I hope that, if there were any communities of actual pedophiles on LJ, they got taken down, too.  But here are some of the communities that got taken down that were not in any way supporting pedophilia and/or rape and/or incest that got taken down:

1) at least one support community for survivors of sexual abuse.

2) a literary book discussion group that was reading Lolita.

3) lots of slash fanfic communities, for things like Draco/Harry fic set in their fourth year (when both boys would have been 15).

Basically, this very conservative “family values” group hated porn, and they hated queer stuff even more, and used “but think of the children, it’s pedophilia!” to pressure LJ to get rid of huge swathes of things they didn’t like.  And one time taking down the worst of it wasn’t good enough for them.  No, this was step one on a moral crusade.  If you acceded to their demands, all that did was whet their appetite, and soon they would be back with a new list of demands.  This is why the 2007 strikethrough was not an isolated event, but rather one of a series of events, nor was LJ the only website thus targeted.  It starts with anything that can get labelled “pedophilia” or “incest” because that’s low-hanging fruit.  But they use that to go after anything relating to queer teen sexuality.  Then anything with teen sexuality.  Then once the community is already divided and diminished, they go after anything with non-con.  Then whatever is next on their list.  It doesn’t stop until they’ve won the point and nothing but suitably “family-friendly” fics that match their purity test are allowed.

Which is why AO3 has no morality content in their terms of service.  You can’t break copyright beyond fair use (and AO3 has an expansive view of “fair use” and a team of lawyers on call).  You can’t use AO3 for commercial advertising.  And you can’t post ACTUAL child pornography, i.e. the things that are legally prohibited, i.e. actual photographs or videos of actual children (not teens) in sexually explicit positions–you know, the stuff that actually hurts kids.  Other than that?  It’s fair game.  You can post anything you want, and the archive will not judge.  There is no handle for the Moral Majority Family-Friendly Thought Police to latch onto, no cracks they can exploit to divide and conquer.

During this period, Dreamwidth was also targeted by attacking its payment processor. They had to get a new one. These “Warriors” (literally called themselves that!) were totally on board with destroying fandom as a side effect of destroying the parts of fandom they didn’t like.

AO3 and OTW are HUGE, because now we have an organization, with very smart women and a lot of lawyers, that have our back. Fannish history is important, people! It has not always been this way.

LJ was, for many people, central.  

It was a fundamental part of the infrastructure of fandom at the time.  

Having it attacked, having parts of your fandom’s territory just deleted like that, was very very scary.  People didn’t know who was next.  Every day, the list of stricken journals grew.  And not all of them came back, not all of them recovered their content.  Some people even voluntarily deleted their content as a form of protest.  It was a bad time.

You do not have to interact with fic that grosses you out or makes you uncomfortable.  Tagging is a thing.  And even outside of tags, you are responsible for curating your own fandom experience.  It is not right to expect it to be curated for you.  And it is not right to lash out when someone refuses to do so and expects you to walk away from things that do not concern you.

I was gonna say “things that don’t harm anyone” but I realize you can argue that.  If you get triggered, that’s upsetting.  That could be considered harm.  And I have sympathy for that.  I do.

I have run across fic that triggered me.  I have pretty specific triggers, and people don’t always think to warn for them because they aren’t that big a deal for a lot of people.  Or it’s sort of bundled into kink and is presumed, that if you’re okay with certain kinds of kink, you’re okay with this.  So I’ve been blindsided by it before.  And it sucks for a couple of days while I get over it.

That was not the fault of the authors! You could argue that tagging should have been used, and maybe it should, but ultimately that’s not an ironclad obligation.  It’s a tool people provide out of courtesy.

That was not the fault of the site!  The site is there to give authors a way to make fiction available, not to judge each work and interrogate its validity and make sure everything is tagged so that nobody has to see anything bad, ever.

That was not even my fault!  It was my responsibility to try to curate my experience, and I tried, but it wasn’t my fault because I didn’t deliberately set out to trigger myself.

When I get triggered, unless it is by a deliberate act, it is actually the fault of the people who hurt me in the first place! And I refuse to let them off the hook and blame perfectly innocent people who just wanna write their fanfiction! I may hate that fanfiction, but that is irrelevant to the question of whether or not people should be allowed to post whatever they want.

Also, some people cope by writing about fucked-up shit.  My best friend in the whole wide world has shared her fic with me, and HOO BOY it is messed up. She wrote it during a time in her life when she was in and just coming out of a horrifically abusive relationship.  I mean, it was exactly the kind of relationship all of us here on Tumblr love to hate.  She was married to a shitty, abusive man who preyed on someone younger than he was and used his influence over her to treat her in a way that would be right at home in that Lundy Bancroft book Why Does He Do That?  He was a real rapist, a verified grade-A bad fuckin’ guy.  (She was lucky to escape.  I have immense respect for her.)  And she wrote some fucked up fic to deal with it, and she shared it, and people were invested in it.  And because this was early 2000′s, she had to host it on a foreign server and cover her tracks, because at that time no-place was safe to post it.

“Yeah, but if she’s writing it for therapy, she doesn’t have to post it where other people might have to see it!” I hear you say.

But like … what the hell??? “Shut up, don’t talk about it, it’s bad to talk about these things, because these things are bad!” is something used against folks with trauma.

“This isn’t good for me, I can’t talk about this, I can’t be your audience for this,” that’s fine, those are boundaries that people with trauma use to defend themselves.  You should learn to say those things!  It will help you!

But expecting other people to never create and share art about trauma is just so thunderously oppressive I lack the ability to fully articulate it.

And nobody should have to disclose their history of trauma to prove their motives are pure or virtuous enough for their speech to be protected.  I’ve only really been able to openly say “I was assaulted, it was traumatic, I am a little fucked up from it” for the past couple of years, tops.  I couldn’t talk about it before that.  Couldn’t!  And it was over 20 years ago!

I also believe, very firmly, that you don’t need a history of abuse to find writing really messed-up shit satisfying, or to find reading it cathartic.  I believe 100% in the freedom of creative expression, and the freedom to read whatever fucked up shit you want to read.

All y’all fandom youngsters can spit nails all you want over gross rape fic, incest fic, whatever.

Fine, I don’t like it either!

But that fucked up shit?  That fucked up shit helped carve out the spaces we have today.  You don’t have to like it, but campaigning to get it deleted, harassing content creators, calling people rapists and pedophiles who have never done and would never ever do such a thing, that is not the way to improve the world, it doesn’t keep actual kids or teens or assault/rape victims safe.  It wouldn’t have made me feel safe when I was 16 and did’t want what was going on.  It doesn’t make me feel safe now.  I can say with the perspective of someone 24 years away from that event, it doesn’t make the world safer for people like I was.  It actually makes it worse.

Learn to steer clear of the messed-up stuff you don’t like.  It’s a skill, you get better with practice.  Have someone else vet stuff for you if you need help doing it now.

Everything that is sketchy and gross is not criminal, and writing about a thing is not morally the same as doing it.  Please stop acting like writing about an adult and a teenager having really questionable, gross sex is as bad as the actual registered sex offender they caught hanging around an actual elementary school two neighborhoods over from mine, just trying to talk to the kids.  The former is, at most, in poor taste, and potentially triggering to abuse victims.  The second makes me want to vomit because even though he was just talking, that guy was gearing up to try something and create another abuse victim.  A g a i n.  

The first can be avoided because it is imaginary and you, an adult, have power over your back button so that you don’t have to witness harm to imaginary people.  The second, those very real kids had to rely on real adults and real law enforcement to keep them safe from very real assault.   (It worked!  The neighborhood rallied!  He was arrested for violating parole!)

Pretty sure Sleazebag McDongface didn’t read some gross NC-17 Draco/Lucius fic before deciding to harm an actual human being.  Pretty sure not having read it didn’t keep him from doing it. ‘Cause he fuckin’ did it.  And he would have done worse. But actual people stopped him.

I get wanting to protect victims when so many of us are victims ourselves, but man, going after fiction is not the way to do it.

If you have a website with TOS that includes any kind of “objectionable content” rules, there will be parties who will use those rules to try to silence other people whom they want silenced.

Let’s look at the alt-right and MRA movements today, or GamerGate a few years ago. What is one of their primary weapons? They report black or feminist or really any leftist YouTube channels (or Twitter accounts, or whatever) whose message they don’t like and claim those channels are are violating TOS by posting hate speech or incitations to violence or whatever bullshit they can come up with, in an attempt to silence those channels.

When Anita Sarkeesian of Feminist Frequence came under fire for starting a crowdfunding endeavor to fund the production of her Tropes vs. Women in Video Games series of videos, male gamers tried to get her KickStarter and various social media accounts shut down by reporting her for for hate speech and promoting terrorism.

Luckily, that became a big enough story that the dudes failed and their efforts backfired. But a lot of times, these tactics work.

How do I know this? Because it happened to me. Not over major shit like the examples above, but over something completely petty.

Back in the mid-to-late 90s, before LiveJournal really became the place for fandom, before FF.net was really a thing, you had to create your own personal website on whatever free webhost you could find (GeoCities was popular, but there were others) if you wanted to host your fic somewhere.

And back then, TV studios and book authors were still sending their lawyers after people who wrote fanfic, issuing cease and desist letters to not only the authors, but also to their webhosts.

At the time, I was writing perfectly het Mulder/Scully fanfic. No rape, no pedophilia, no slash. Maybe a little BDSM. But largely it was unobjectionable.

Then the 8th season of X-Files started, David Duchovny decided he only wanted to be involved part-time, and the show decided to bring in another male character. The fandom lost their shit–as fandoms do–over the idea of “replacing” Mulder blah blah blah.

One of the most popular fanfic mailing lists–one that had previously had no restrictions on what characters or pairings could be posted–decided that if you wrote fanfic involving this character, you were no longer welcome. Well, this was the mailing list with all the readers. Sure, authors could go to other mailing lists, but they wouldn’t have exposure to the sort of readership this other list boasted.

I spoke out, saying that this change was unfair to fic authors and that the moderator of this list was behaving in a pretty vile way. The moderator and her friends took aim at me and began a campaign of harassment, and a few days later, suddenly my website with my XF fanfic was TOSed because someone had reported it. So was the next site I tried to create to host my fic, and the one after that.

Thanks to the way AO3s TOS are constructed, that sort of shit doesn’t happen now. I can speak up if I need to, and while I may receive harassment on my various social media accounts, there’s no chance they can have my fic taken down just because they have an agenda and don’t like me for reasons not relating to my fic.

When I helped write the ToS for AO3, I wasn’t primarily thinking about strikethrough. I was primarily thinking of FFN, where so many people post things that are technically against the ToS but that the community tolerates. Any time someone gets pissed off, they can go on a grudge-reporting spree and target their enemy’s work. Often, that means guys targeting slash or Twilight fic because it’s “for girls” and thus sucks. Sometimes, it’s one ship vs. another. I was also thinking of Miss Scribe and all of that other Harry Potter fandom drama. (And if you think fans are above destroying an entire archive just to strike at one enemy, think again!)

We can’t force people to like each other. We can’t force people to be nice to each other. But we could take away fandom bullies’ favorite tools.

It galls me to think that those of us who went through all this shit might have to go through it again because people who were still in primary school at the time don’t see anything wrong with harassing us over

Like, I hate to pull this argument, but we are your fandom elders, we did what we did to preserve fandom for y'all, so y'all would have space to safely explore the sane things we did and still do. And in doing so we rightly realized that if we wanted to protect the comfortable, cuddly parts, we also needed to protect the dark parts.

You can hate non-con fic all you want, and I will always advocate for adequate tagging/warning (especially with franchises that are aimed at younger audiences, e.g. MLP:FIM and SU) so that you don’t have to see it because I sympathize, but I will never support people who want to make sure that it isn’t even there to be seen. I’ve been through that once. It didn’t help anyone. It didn’t fix anything.

I’m a nold. I’m in my 40s. When I came out as queer, in the early 90s, it was in the middle of what were called the “feminist sex wars”.  If you want a really good book to read about that period, which has a LOT of resonance with Strikethrought and with the current Tumblr discourse, I cannot recommend this highly enough:

Defending Pornography: Free Speech, Sex, and the Fight for Women’s Rights by Nadine Strossen

A preview is available on Google Books, or it should be readily available secondhand, or in academic libraries (though it’s not a very heavy academic read). I recommend Booko for finding cheap secondhand copies. Support independent bookstores!

I haven’t read “Defending Pornography” for a while – I actually last re-read it about a decade ago because of the impact that Warriors for Innocence were having on Dreamwidth’s payment providers at the time, subsequent to Strikethrough itself – but here’s a quick summary, as I remember it.

1. In the late 80s and early 90s there was a vocal group of radical feminists who believed that pornography inherently harms women, not just in its production but also in its consumption (i.e. watching/reading pornography caused people to develop attitudes that were harmful to women). All explicit content was considered to be harmful, from eg. girlie magazines to hardcore XXX videos to a book like “The Joy of Gay Sex”, no matter who made it, its purpose, its intended audience, or its context. (Yup, even m/m content was considered to be degrading to women for reasons that didn’t make a lot of sense tbh.)

2. These anti-pornography feminists teamed up with the religious right and managed to get anti-porn laws passed. In particular, a law was passed in Canada preventing the importation of “obscene” material. Canada, of course, imports a lot of material from the US. Stuff started getting seized at the border.

3. Guess what was seized first? “The Joy of Gay Sex” and the like. Guess what businesses started finding all their shipments seized or delayed – sexually explicit or not – to the point where they were being put out of business? Gay bookstores.  Guess what wasn’t seized at all? Mainstream porn made for straight men. 

Around this time, Little Sisters bookstore in Vancouver (a gay bookstore) found that huge amounts of merchandise was being seized at the border, regardless of the actual content. They were being discriminatorily targeted on the basis of their sexuality. The queerness of the material they were importing was seen as inherently obscene.

Remember that this is before there was much information available online for LGBTQ+ people, so if you were a young person maybe just coming out and trying to understand things, or wanting to learn about safe sex (and yes it was at the height of the AIDS crisis, too) you’d go to a bookstore like this. Which now had empty shelves. I remember endless fundraising and activism in the LGBTQ+ community to try and keep Little Sisters open. In the end they spent half a million dollars on court cases. Read more about their struggles.

(You know what businesses weren’t impacted and didn’t have to basically ask their friends and community for help to stay open or spend a decade in the courts to defend their right to run their businesses? The powerful companies making porn by and for straight men.)

The book goes into a large number of analogous situations. Time and time again, anti-pornography laws intended to protect women are disproportionately used against women themselves, against LGBTQ+ people, and against basically any marginalised or minority group, rather than against the mainstream male-oriented porn that would seem to be its primary target.

Here’s the key point: Strossen is a legal scholar who’s looked at a lot of attempts at censorship, and you know what she found happened every time? When you try to censor pornography, even in the interests of protecting vulnerable people, that censorship will be applied first, and hardest, against the people who are most vulnerable. They won’t come for actual abusers, they’ll come for the abused, and prevent them from accessing resources, education, talking to each other, creating art to express themselves, or organising against those who are actually causing harm.

Read the book. The stories it tells are from the early 90s but they perfectly mirror what happened a decade ago with Strikethrough and what’s happening now with all this Tumblr discourse.

(Which is one reason for the pornographic playing cards etc, because the 19th century was almost as big on mail-order goods as the 21st, because getting to shops in person was hard for a huge subsection of Americans.)

Comstock built a non-profit with the support of the YMCA and oh shoot, some millionaire whose brand is still going strong, to enforce this law because the postal system didn’t have the personnel. They were granted the right to do so.

He and his posse of honorary mail inspectors with police powers (I kid you not) spent years engaging in endless skullduggery to prosecute people for selling contraceptives by mail. Which was how everyone got them in the 19th century, you couldn’t walk into a shop for a pack of condoms but mail-order packages were nicely anonymous. They dragged Margaret Sanger into court repeatedly. There was a huge cottage industry of contraceptives in NYC at the time, most of the manufacturers being female, Jewish, immigrants, or some combination of the above.

There was one woman whose name escapes me they kept trying to prosecute for selling contraceptive devices and the juries kept nullifying it because the average New Yorker in the 1890s were like ‘yeah no condoms are not a crime,’ but not everybody had her stage presence and resources.

You know who they never even tried to touch? The big rubber companies were were getting into mass production of condoms. Their big funder owned the company that produced Vaseline, and was claiming in ads at the time that it worked as a spermicide.

Every where you looked, authors where posting warnings about how x stories were getting deleted. All of the warnings feeling rushing, panicked, most of them including notes about how they didn’t know how long they had before their warnings were taken down or they were deleted. It felt a bit like all the stars going out, everything just dying around you. Like a stampede of people had fled from some oncoming unnamed horror leaving silence in their wake. Finding AO3 later on was like finding a safe haven in a world gone mad.

Also FanFiction doesn’t really encourage socialisation aside from authors notes to readers on their chapters or homepage. Meanwhile all the warnings of the crackdown were really rushed and vague. So, as a not very sociable reader, I really didn’t have a clue what was going on at the time of the crack down and the confusion and uncertainty was almost the scariest part of the whole thing. (Not knowing if the authors should come back and if fanfics were gone for good was scarier.) It’s only years later, reading fanfic history posts that I’ve started to piece together what happened.

If you haven’t spent your time wondering if the thing that will get your content deleted is the dark stuff or the nipples, you really don’t get it, imo.

That is AO3’s official description of the “Chose Not to Warn” (CNtW) tag, taken from the archive’s FAQ entry about tags. Elsewhere, the tag is often compared to a phrase that used to be common in fic headers pre-AO3: “Read At Your Own Risk.”

There’s an argument I’m seeing a lot of lately, such as in some of the responses to this Twitter thread: that AO3’s CNtW tag is insufficient and shouldn’t be an option, and that authors who choose not to warn (tagging accordingly) are irresponsible at best, sadistic at worst.

I disagree a lot.

People have been fighting about this for a while now, and many have already defended the CNtW option more eloquently than I’m about to. My reasons for sounding off anyway are: I feel like it; unsurprisingly, other people’s posts are not a perfect match for my views; it seems like a good opportunity to clarify my approach to tagging so that anyone who cares can do what they will with the information; and I’m big mad about this shit.

CNtW is the hero we both need and deserve.

It’s the compromise AO3 has brokered between “nobody needs to tag anything” and “everybody has to tag everything.” As a compromise, by definition it has drawbacks, but personally, I think it’s a pretty good one: it’s clear, it’s easily filterable, and it protects freedom of expression and a range of reading experiences while also functioning as a tool for readers to protect themselves. And it’s necessary, because fandom needs all of those things.

Also, CNtW isn’t going anywhere. It’s just not. The question isn’t whether AO3 is going to get rid of this tag; the only question here is whether it’s a groovy development in fandom to call authors who use it everything from abusers to rape apologists to pedophiles.

A disclaimer right up top: as I have written a story tagged CNtW that some readers enjoyed and others were badly upset by, I do in fact have a dog in this fight. Then again, everybody’s got a dog in the fight, because everybody’s a reader and/or writer with individual needs and personal preferences. If anything, I probably get more intense about this as a reader than I do as a writer, because I quite like my very convenient option to consent to being surprised by a story.

So I am not neutral on this topic, philosophically or emotionally. I see the rhetoric around CNtW as an attempt to control both readers and creators. I think it is disingenuously presented as a crusade for safety and inclusion while ignoring the fact that some of the readers and creators it seeks to control are themselves survivors or living with MHI. In that respect, I see it as a direct outgrowth and symptom of fandom purity culture. All those things mightily piss me off.

Without linking any individual comments, tweets, or posts, I’m going to summarize the arguments I’ve seen against CNtW tagging, and I’m going to try to be fair about it. It’s possible I’ll miss something, and it’s inevitable my biases will show, but this seems better than dragging a bunch of people into a separate post they haven’t asked to have anything to do with, especially when the trend is what I find troubling. If you think I’ve misrepresented anything, @ away.

#1. I come to fanfic for comfort and familiarity; I don’t want to be surprised

#2. Warnings aren’t spoilers; if your plot relies on “twists” and revealing them detracts from your story, it was a pretty poor story to begin with

#3. CNtW is analogous to a label on food that states that the item may contain allergens without specifying which ones

#4. There’s no such thing as a ‘blanket warning’

#5. CNtW doesn’t help me manage my risk

#6. Authors mix up No Archive Warnings Apply with Chose Not to Warn

#7. CNtW is overused and a ton of great stories are inaccessible for no good reason

#8. CNtW makes it impossible for readers to curate their experiences

#9. CNtW is rude

#10. Authors CNtW because they know readers avoid tags like MCD and Underage

#11. CNtW violates the trust readers place in authors

#12. CNtW sends a message to trauma survivors that they’re not welcome in fandom and springs ‘harmful surprises’ on them

#13. If you CNtW, you must have no idea what it’s like to be triggered

#14. Defending CNtW is victim-blaming

#15. CNtW makes people antis

#16. There’s no reason authors who CNtW can’t just put their warnings in an endnote

#17. This isn’t about entitlement; it’s about being kind

#18. The 'Hide Warnings’ site feature makes CNtW unnecessary

#19. Fanfic isn’t worth hurting real people

#20. Fellow fans have the right to express frustration about CNtW

or skip to The Short Version

It depends. Like anything else on the internet, it could just sit on the Archive forever.

But if you want something more than that, then you might want to look into a Fannish Next of Kin (FNOK). This is a person you choose to get control of your account if you’re ever incapacitated or if you die. 

How do you choose them? They can be a real life friend or family member. They can be someone you know in fandom. Whoever it is, it should be someone you trust because they’ll be given access to your account in the event of your death. You’ll need to be able to talk to them about how you feel about your fanworks and what you want to have happen to them. Do you want them to stand just as they are? Do you want them added to the orphan_account? Do you want your entire account deleted?

After you have chosen your FNOK, both you and your chosen person will need to send a message to the Abuse team - they’re the team who also manage next of kin requests. Both of you will need an AO3 account in order to do this, so if the person you choose isn’t involved in fandom they’ll need to get an account first.

You don’t have to be next of kin for each other. It’s fine if the relationship is just one way. But, you can only have one next of kin. If there are 2 or more, there is the possibility of disagreements about what you want done, and AO3 has no way to arbitrate those disagreements.

You can end the agreement if you want to. If you have a falling out with your friend, or if they leave fandom and you lose touch, or if you want to end this part of the relationship for any reason, either one of you can send another message to the Abuse team and provide both usernames of the people involved. They’ll send you both a message to let you know the FNOK relationship has ended. 

How does AO3 know you’re dead? Your FNOK will tell them by submitting another report to the Abuse team. The Abuse team will then send an email to the address they have on file. If you don’t reply back within 10 days, they’ll pass control of your account over to your FNOK. It is important that you keep your AO3 account email up to date so you don’t miss this message. Remember that AO3 doesn’t know your real life identity, so if the person you trust says you’ve passed and you don’t tell AO3 that you haven’t, then they’ll believe them.

If your account is transferred but you’re still alive, submit a form to the Abuse team and let them know! They’ll do their best to get your account back to you.

All of this to say, we produce a massive amount of material, much of which isn’t even published (think of all your drafts and ideas floating around in your computer!). Fandom has a history of being ephemeral, and because it’s the contemporary iteration of folk culture, it descends from a line of ephemeral storytelling practices. But it doesn’t have to be.

Fanfiction is fiction.

Fictional people are not real.

Fictional people do not have rights.

Fictional people cannot be abused.

Reading or writing about something does not mean the desire to do or support it in the real world.

If I find art upsetting/triggering/disgusting/outraging/unpleasant/squicky/distressing/offensive, it is on me not to read it, not the creators and hosts to remove it.

Curate your own experience. The back buttons exist for a reason.

If you don't trust yourself to do that, get someone you trust to do it for you.

Fandom is an adult space. Adults create and own and host fandom spaces. If minors want to participate, then the onus is on them and their parents/guardians/trusted adults to ensure they participate appropriately, not on strange adults to stop being adults.

You often don't know the assault status or mental health status or neurotype or race or nationality or religion or gender or sexuality or age of a creator or consumer, and they do not have to disclose to you to justify their fantasy.

AO3 is not a safe space. It is not intended to be a safe space. Proceed accordingly.

Just because you don't like something or find it offensive doesn't mean it is a "problem" that "has to be dealt with".

Most characters in anime are not white.

There is no onus on you to reblog or share anything.

Everyone makes mistakes in fandom and is less than their best self sometimes.

Persistent pseudonyms encourage long term relationships.

Ship wars are stupid.

Someone else enjoying things does not impact on your own enjoyment of other things.

Tagging and warning is a courtesy, not a requirement. Assume any fic might contain untagged content.

Rating is an imprecise art, not a science.

Don't hassle IP creators.

Most people who are in fandom are hoping to make connections based on a shared passion.

Trying to profit from transformative fanworks puts us all at risk.

No one is obligated to share your head canon or fanon.

Being kind rarely fails to pay off.

It is okay to block and remove people who make your experience unpleasant. You don't have to placate them. (Learn from my mistakes).

Britpicking is a good thing.

You don't have to justify why you like a canon/pairing/trope/kink. Sometimes navel gazing is fun, but you don't have an obligation to explain yourself, especially to strangers. I share the overwhelming desire to refute an unfair accusation, but the people accusing you are rarely doing so in good faith, so you're batting a losing wicket.

I'm not your Mum. (Well, okay, a very few of you can call me Mum or Mom, but if you are one of them you already know who you are ❤️)