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who would win in an alcohol drinking competition? MaoMao, Wei Wuxian or Shi Qingxuan
Since WWX and SQX have special abilities (golden core,god hood, demonic cultivation,) they're all in their weakest state (wwx post golden core transfer and post-canon SQX)
This is also so Jinshi, He Xuans and Lan Wangjis pockets don't run empty from supplying the alcohol.
Hmm, I think it would go Maomao > Wei Wuxian > Shi Qingxuan u.u
(my argument being that SQX's entire bit in the Four Great Tales is that he was frequently drunk as a Middle Court Official. He has a decent tolerance but in this contest he gets drunk under the table first and is honestly having a great time with it. Wei Wuxian has an excellent tolerance, but Maomao considers it professional pride to be immune to poisons so she wins! Nothing stands in her way re: poisons!)
As for paying, I actually think Jinshi and Lan Wangji would be like... weirdly intense about being the one to pay. He Xuan does not suffer from that same affliction
Maoamo: the world is a cruel and unjust place. To think that fine men like Gaoshun and Luomen would have to suffer the life-long health consequences of the Eunuch surgery 😞
Jinshi: *also a Eunuch*
Maomao: THAT IS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES OF FROG THAT I MUST REINTRODUCE INTO THE ECOSYSTEM AT ALL COSTS!
shit man tomorrow is christmas eve i swear yesterday was June 2010
As is tradition in tumblr culture the locals unearth the corpse of a long deceased figure and drag it across the streets merrily, laughing at what is preserved of the person’s words. This custom, seen as morbid in other cultures, is instead done gleefully and with an unmatched enthusiasm

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please learn how to code
like, if you're bored today, and not doing anything,
learn a little bit of coding please
hi hi hello PLEASE DON'T JUST REBLOG THIS FOR LATER
I know how much you love reblogging posts and then never looking at them ever again. I get it, I really do. but PLEASE
just open one of these links and explore a bit if you're interested
Scratch - great coding program for learning the basics, but so good you can make a video game with it
Codecademy - learn any coding language with lessons
Neocities - literally make a website
it's all free
I'm sending wild animals to your doorstep.
Imagine if the people who make wine realize that Wei Wuxian is an absolute monster with the amount of alcohol he must consume to get to a level that can be considered drunk, and they start to compete on making stronger drinks to get their establisment some fame and recognition. They name the drinks after the things Wei Wuxian does under their effect (Serenade from the rooftop, lost flute, hiding in the bush, stealing boots under the table, etc). The town's people where they stay in are already watching them so they know where he will go and get ready to keep watch to get the newest strong drink to pull in travellers. Wei Ying finds it hillarious, poor Wangji is just exasperated, but as long as his husband is happy its ok
SOOO true, wangji starts hearing about wuxian drunk escapades he wasnt present for via wine titles and doesn't know how he feels about that fact
Prompt 92: Man's best Friend
When WWX time traveled right after the Sun Shot Campaign, he just planned to stage his death and live as a Rogue Cultivator.
He didn't expect the Waterborne Abyss to follow him like a pet. A massive one the size of a horse that barked at "suspicious" people (and by suspicious he meant, all people "it" didn't know, so basically everyone). That was so clingy it remained draped over him like a wet blanket at all hours, even when he was trying to relieve himself.
Then the Lans sent someone to exorcise him since he was freaking out the locals.
--
Additional note: And that someone turned out to be LQR that was supervising a nighthunt, along with a contingent of this year's batch of visiting disciples.
JWY was not prepared to meet the Ghost of his late brother, completely wrapped in a thick layer of resentment (and WWX was not prepared to meet him either).
WWX* debating whether he should tell him that YES he's actually alive, the body YMJ cremated that was wearing his clothes and carrying his sword wasn't his, that he's now a demonic cultivator with a pet Abyss and SURPRISE SURPRISE, LONG TIME NO SEE CHENGCHENG. Or if he just should pass as a Ghost since he's layered in Resentful Energy anyway.
LQR definitely fainted. And LWJ tried to convince this "Ghost" to follow them to Gusu so that they would help him move on, since he was polite and definitely could be reasoned with.
Prompt 95: Our Lord and Saviour the Yiling Laozu
WWX opens the door to this: "Hello" :) :) :) :) :) :) "Do you know our Lord and Saviour the YLLZ???" :) :) :) :) :) :)
And promptly slams it to their face.
__
Or, in which WWX never got resurrected by MXY, and reincarnated thousands of years later, in Modern Times, with (most) of his memories.
It's just that somehow, an immortal LWJ built a cult in his name. He hoped prayers would be able to reach him (since inquiry didn't).
Oh, he's been reached alright??!?
__
The second time he hears a knock at his door, some guy shoves porn in his face. Wait, that's not...Porn? or Almost.
It a risqué painting. Or the picture of a risqué painting? Kind of, but what disturbs him the most is that it's definitely his face on it.
With a salacious gaze and teasing smile. His lips are painted red, like his eyes, and his? it's? hand is slipping dangerously low on his cleavage, if that still could be called a cleavage. The red sun above his heart is unmistakable.
"Oh wow, I just noticed, but you really look like him"
Stunned, WWX raises his eyes to a Gusu Lan disciple, in full Regalia, layered blue hanfu and forehead ribbon included. He definitely looks out of place at the step of his shabby apartment, handing out porn like candies.
"Do you know our Lord and Saviour the YLL-"
He slams the door to their face. For the second time.
__
There's a third, a fourth and several other times as well, except that they bring reinforcement, and more "art", in which he's wearing less and less clothes.
__
Once it's LQR that greets him at the door. Or a LQR look alike, beard and all, with a pinched expression.
LQR looks at him, from head to toes, and lets out a defeated sigh. Then he reaches inside his sleeve to take out a stack of papers.
WWX hysterically hopes that it's not. porn.
He accepts it tentatively. Shuts the door slowly. And looks down on what is in his hands.
God. Damnit.
__
Additional notes:
Or LWJ created a cult to reach WWX through prayers, and NHS painted the first pieces for the YLLZ Temples.
It Snowballed.
And the new religion gained popularity for reasons, and Gusu Lan became the new religious hot spot. Lan disciple soon became synonymous with YLLZ worshipper.
Eventually WWX, in an effort to stop inappropriate visits at his doorstep, visits "his" (weird to call it "his") main temple to speak with the manager.
There's even more paintings with his face, plastered on all surfaces. And statues, and murals. He chickens out several times.
Oh, and actually LQR just wanted to give WWX some of the letters his nephew wrote while he was dead. Then he noped out, and just gave some regular YLLZ scriptures. Those just happen to be illustrated.
I am a firm and wholehearted believer in the idea that, if put into a situation where the Lan rules either did not exist or not apply, Lan Xichen would go absolutely apeshit with the alcohol. The man was being trained to be a sect leader from basically the moment he could learn to read because his father certainly wasn't doing it, and he literally didn't have any real friends but Nie Mingjue. If anyone deserves a drink, it's this man. I was thinking about an AU where Wei Wuxian lived in the Burial Mounds as this sort of cryptid god creature (while listening to Transcendental Cha Cha Cha), and I was like "what if Wei Wuxian banned any rules but his own rules while in the Burial Mounds?" That spiralled into the Lans being like "we have to talk to this creature man thing but the RULES" and the twin jades being like "we got this, gang, we're so cool like that." However, the moment they step into the Burial Mounds and have greeted Wei Wuxian (who is decidedly chill if incredibly fucked up but so casual about it), Lan Xichen is like "PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY I NEED A DRINK" Of course, in his own Lan respectful way, even as Lan Wangji stares with a dropped jaw (slightly widened eyes, to be precise) at his brother, the pinnacle of the Lan Sect as the Sect Leader. Wei Wuxian does not care about the rules of the sect (of course he knows them, even as a cryptid creature thing) and is like "sure, pal" Next thing anyone knows, Lan Xichen is a bottle into whatever Wei Wuxian has on hand and is ranting to what he believes is another human about the shit he has to put up with (his words exactly), but what is actually a rock that Wei Wuxian drew an understanding expression on - just to see if Lan Xichen would notice the change.

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Wei Wuxian should be able to get drunk for once. I think he'd either be singing bawdy drinking songs on the roof of the Jingshi or he'd be getting irrevocably lost no matter where he is. He's found in the bushes behind the mountains like a cryptid, and then he's like "I can't believe you all got lost" (extremely slurred) as if he didn't get embarrassed by something Lan Wangji had said and just somehow disappeared when everyone looked back at him
oh ABSOLUTELY im walking with u and nodding and agreeing, i can see him becoming an absolute menace to keep track of at his drunkest.
anyway heres wonderwall The Gang (Wangxian & their fave group of ducklings) in a city known for its STRONG wine and wuxian being like well. ur all grown now, youre technically not juniors anymore. we have to see whos lasting the longest against this stuff!, smash cut to a suspiciously wei ying-less group of the worlds drunkest cultivators being wrangled through the woods by designated driver hanguang-jun, with at least 2 of them clinging to his robes at all times.
doodles from the burial mounds
When I first started MDZS I had a theory that the fierce corpse they were piecing together was WWX's original body and it had been kept and experimented on by some wannabe demonic cultivators hoping to figure out how he was so powerful.
And I'm thinking about it again.
Imagine WWX, fresh from whatever afterlife his soul was in, ready to just fulfill the requirements of the spell that brought him back then lay low and spend the rest of his new life in peace. That plan immediately gets thrown off course by a cursed hand and LWJ showing up. He is now, through circumstance and his own inability to Let Things Go, dragged into this mystery of finding out who this fierce corpse is and why it's here.
And at some point he realizes he recognizes those hands. He knows those marks. He remembers those calluses.
And he has to deal with the fact that the betrayal and rage fueling it is HIS betrayal and rage. All the emotions that he set aside to stay focused on keeping himself and the Wen remnants alive for as long as possible are now right in front of him and impossible to ignore any longer.
When does LWJ put it together? After WWX? At the same time? It would be hilarious and tragic if LWJ realized first and assumed WWX already knew so he didn't say anything.
No idea how this would fit into the whole thing with NMJ and JGY. I could see a story getting away with NHS still getting involved for WWX (I don't care what anyone else says, they were FRIENDS), but is NMJ dead? Did he die the same way? Is he alive and just hanging around the background this time? Is he now a SECOND Fierce corpse they have to deal with? I can't imagine him dying the way he did and NOT becoming a fierce corpse.
It's been too long since I've read canon to dig into the details but this idea has been hanging around in the back of my head ever since I first read it. Anyone else thought the fierce corpse was WWX? I can't be the only one.
You get it! I like the way you think.
And yeah it absolutely fits the Jins. Early on when reading I had theorized a rogue demonic cultivator because early on when JC shows up they sprinkle in the detail that there's other demonic cultivators trying to replicate what WWX did and I thought that would be important later. (Which it was, in the form of Xue Yang, but not how I thought it would.)
Though I don't think it's so strange that WWX wouldn't recognize his body so soon. You never really see your own body the way others do. Even in mirrors it's flipped. WWX does have that paper-man-out-of-body thing, but I doubt he ever used it with the purpose of studying his own body in case he ever needed to recognize it on sight. It's not really most people's first thought.
LWJ on the other hand, who has spent years dreaming and hoping to see that body alive again however impossible it seemed? Absolutely.
WWX: Look at this dude, he's ripped!!!
LWJ, thinking WWX is bragging in a strange roundabout way but not disagreeing: ...
I think realistically, WWX would have to realize it's his body when they get the torso and see the Wen brand on his chest. But for humor purposes, there is an argument to be made that the Wen's had the brand for a reason and WWX is probably not the only one who got branded by the end of the war; he also just saw that LWJ has the brand when as far as WWX remembers he shouldn't, so I could see using this as justification for keeping WWX from realizing for a bit longer and thinking of alternative explanations. Also even if he does realize when they find the torso, he may just not want to think about or process it and shove that realization to the side until he can't anymore.
In other words, for an angst justification:
WWX doing more mental flips than an Olympic gymnast to not consciously acknowledge he's piecing together his own body: If I don't think about it, it can't hurt me! :)
For a humor justification:
WWX: Wow, first Wangji now this guy, did it become a trend while I was gone??
Or both :)
Or, you could have the Jin's burn or otherwise mutilate the brand to try and make the body less recognizable.
You're right, the perception of ones body is always a bit convoluted. I dont remember right now- if at that moment when they found the torso- it was already known by wwx that lwj had recognized him. If not, it would soooo make sense to lwj that wwx would say something like this. It would be so on brand for him. Because a) "haha Mo Xuanyu wouldn't recognize this body as the patriarch, have to take this into consideration" and b) as if it would be totaly above wwx to make a 'funny'(tm) comment about this own corpse.
What I just thought of also was that it would make sense to go to these extrem lenghts to hide the head for as long as possible. Be it because maybe the head in itself is an -especially- fruitful object for experiments or in realizing who is behind it as well as to hide the identity as long as possible. In light of the fact that so much of wwx's past life and work (e.g.wen ning) was meant to be destroyed and could be traced back to the Jins.
But would you believe it, for a short amount of time I forgot that the brand existed. Probably because when they found the torso it wasnt yet explained in the flashbacks that wwx had it ??? (Im not the best with remembering chronologically)
(Also..do you think wwx and lwj had a Talk about the brand at some point and the fact, that lwj branded himself in wwx's Image only for wwx to lose the brand in his ressurection)
Also i just had another thought
-(beeing consumed by this at work was not on my Bingo card for today but alas, we ball)-
It kind of rubbed me wrong that wwx lost the curse marks in the beginning, because technically he didnt get revenge by killing the mo Family. The arm did. But guess how it would make sense again, that it got counted as a win? If it was wwx's arm that did the killing.
Yeah, there are a few different ways I could justify in-universe how that makes sense, but overall I didn't really see the point of the curse marks plot-wise in the novel. At first I thought oh--this is gonna be a source of long-term tension throughout the plot, Wei Wuxian needing to find out who he needs to get revenge against in order to stay alive and maybe introduce some moral dilemmas--but then they all get resolved almost immediately? What was the point of having them in the first place then?? I haven't finished CQL yet and I have a lot of different opinions so far on the many changes it makes, but I do like that they added a fourth mark for JQY.
But yes, it being WWX's arm both makes the curse make more obvious sense and would also retroactively work as foreshadowing for the body's identity, which is a fantastic bonus!
#I can’t believe I’ve never thought of this or seen anyone else say it and that’s soo cool#I will say he wouldn’t even have to recognize his body#one it’s on brand for him to not remember anything#and two I really love when fics explore wwx having a sort of apathy to his physical body?#especially during his time in the burial mounds#coreless and falling apart he develops a mental block at the state of his body#and how it’s changed from starvation (again) and no spiritual cultivation and all the demonic energy#so that when he’s finding the pieces of the body of course he doesn’t recognize it#he never realized how much he had truly changed#idk just an idea#op I love this so much and your brain is huge#and the bit about lwj knowing and assuming wwx knew? real
(Tags via @clara-maybe)
Yessss!!! It's been so long since I've read canon that I can't remember how much is canon and how much is fanon in regards to WWX's self-image, but giving up his golden core alone can be seen as evidence that he sees his body more as a resource to be used rather than a part of himself. It's not a stretch to say that post-burial mounds he would be essentially dissociated from the state of his body.
I dont have anything further to add to the discussion (at least for now). But the brainworm of the torso scene did not leave me alone, had to ban the worm on canvas and free myself.
Prompt: in a world where Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze don't die what happens ? (please no sad ending I really can't survive angst) I love your writing btw 💗💓💞
“There’s no need to be nervous,” Wei Wuxian said, squeezing Lan Wangji’s hand encouragingly.
Then he squeezed it again, just because he could. Because Lan Wangji liked him, and he liked him back, and – it was a very good thing that he’d tricked Lan Wangji into confessing.
(That was his story of how it had happened and he was sticking with it.)
Prompt!! Turns out the Wens were keeping something dangerous locked away, and finally, a decade or so after their downfall, it’s breaking out. Sizhui, being the last living Wen, has to deal with it
Untamed
There was a long moment of silence after the man finished explaining.
“I will consider this issue,” Lan Wangji said. “Thank you for bringing it to my attention.” He raised a hand, gesturing, and few Lan disciples came forward to show the man out; the man saluted thankfully and left with them.
The second he was gone, Wei Wuxian – who had obviously been having some trouble with his face during the entire recitation of the problem in a way that suggested he found it overwhelmingly amusing for some reason – immediately said, “Did everyone actually hear that or was I hallucinating?”
“Oh no,” Jin Ling said, whose lips were twitching as well. “You heard it all right – a terrible danger once defeated by the Wen sect, bound by their blood, and now only one of their descendants can put an end to its thread. How fortunate that we have two left, right?”

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I am grinning like a FOOL at nmj/wwx/lwj. Aaaaaahhh just imagine the looks on everyone’s faces ESPECIALLY the jins, can you IMAGINE. Every sect except their own has entered a marriage alliance in one swoop, and that marriage alliance includes three of the most powerful cultivators alive. I’m in love with this.
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, past 5 - aka Pastime (with good company)
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“I can forgive you for getting married, but not for making me tell Uncle about it,” Lan Xichen said without ceremony as he swept into the room like a puff of aggravated white cloud – and yes, he was well aware that was how he was coming off, he had plenty of self-awareness. Besides, it wasn’t as if he was actually upset anymore; he hadn’t seen so many secret little smiles from Lan Wangji since their childhood. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him turn that shade of red before. I think he was even thinking of throwing something at me!”
“Did you mention the bit where it technically fulfilled his requirements regarding devoting to a single spouse?” Nie Mingjue asked from behind his teacup, eyes bright with amusement and not even a speck of shame. It was just like him, too; Nie Mingjue was not one to regret decisions he had made. “Huaisang mentioned that you’d said that: I rather liked that one.”
“I did,” Lan Xichen said, making a face at Nie Mingjue and causing him to laugh. “It didn’t help. As you probably could have guessed, you – oh! A-Yao, be careful, you’re spilling the tea.”
Rumours about the Yiling Patriarch
Headcanon: Rumour has it, the Yiling Patriarch may grant you a wish if you offer him your body. On daily basis, Wei Ying is flashed by strangers that seem oddly disappointed when they learn that no, there’s no need to, please cover yourself, such request should be dealed with the sect in charge of the territory and that he really doesn’t want to overstep. Hanguang jun would like it very much if strangers stopped propositioning to his husband.