twisted fucking Cycle path

overheard a customer say "i'm ready for a divorce at this point" when I was bored at work and my eyes lit up like I won the lottery

i can no longer keep quiet about this. i dont care if somehow the writer of this finds me. i once saw a simile in a fic that has haunted me for well over a year now because of how baffling it was. there was a part where a character realized they were in love and, quote "[his] heart plops like a strawberry to the floor". this is such a bad simile its genuinely a teachable moment. because when you're using that phrasing, what i imagine you're conjuring is the image of an overripe strawberry falling onto the floor and bursting apart in a red mess, something a human is more likely to have seen and is therefore able to better picture an organ doing the same thing. three problems: first off, "overripe" is not present in this description, and regular variety strawberries dropped on the floor don't really explode the same way, so it takes you a second to puzzle together that that's what they mean. second, "like a strawberry" is, in this case, describing "drops", so you're taken out of the sentence by expecting a comparison to something that is known for being dropped and instead getting strawberry, something that is not well known for being dropped. third, his heart is not literally being dropped on the floor, it's a purely emotional description, therefore there is no mental image to conjure and it just becomes a complete non-sequitur

Chappell Roan hate is simply one of the most obvious and idiotic smear campaigns I've seen in the last decade, and I think that's why it's so obnoxious whenever I see people (especially queer people) falling for it like little ducks. Like wdym she sent a guard to intimidate a child because she smiled in her direction. out of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the MOST

It's really funny how art can be so important and enriching and sometimes downright life-changing but every single piece of art about how important and life-changing art is is the lamest shit ever.

reading bad media takes online will never compare to the exquisite torture that is trying to have a conversation about basic literary analysis with your own family members

in drawing class yesterday we were doing a critique for our self-portraits, and one girl, who is like the coolest chillest stoner girl type imaginable, had drawn herself at the dentist holding that thing that sucks the water or of your mouth, and one person was like “what’s that you’re holding?” and she said “it’s mister thirsty.” and we all sat there for a second processing, and one boy said “…did you just call that thing mister thirsty?” and she was like “yeah, is that not what you call it?” and everyone shouted NO and she was like “i don’t know what you guys are on. it’s called mister thirsty.”

'let him cook' has positive implications for the act of cooking but being cooked is problematic. this tension, where agency is the necessary qualifier for goodness, replicates the fear of being penetrated,

I'm actually from Baltimost, Merrierland so forgive me if I'm less than impressed

The "Have you been here?" blog is the best gimmick blog because every post is like "Have you been to this remote convenience store in northeastern Latvia?" and the results are 99.9% no's but then you open the notes and there's 3-5 Latvians losing their absolute minds

one time a guy friend told me he was quitting league of legends and literally two weeks later she was on estrogen. these events are intrinsically connected in my mind.

There is still time [to stop playing league of legends]