the thing is they really do let you hit because you're goofy.

i say shit like "whuh oh!" and it makes girls want to kiss me under moonlight for some reason

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

aughhhh i need that wizard so ffucking bad it makes me look stupid

It’s always “dance for me, jester” “tell me a joke, jester” “amuse me, jester” and never “please me carnally, jester” this court is a fucking prison

you spill dr pepper on the concrete and a single perfect rose pushes up out of a crack