Beyond Stories

Takes gun (metal) into a room that says NO METAL ALLOWED

Gun then gets yoinked into the MRI

Cop hits the FUCKING ESTOP which dumps all the helium out of the cooling loop for the magnets and DESTROYS THE MAGNETS IN THE PROCESS because it's the fucking EMERGENCY STOP

cop takes the gun and leaves (forgets to take bullets)

So yeah they better fucking sue for damages they broke the MRI with their stupidity

BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT CAROL OF THE BELLS

IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE/SARAJEVO 12/24 AND IT IS SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN CAROL OF THE BELLS.

so during the bosnian war (which was this nasty-ass conflict in bosnia and herzgovina) there was this badass cello-playing motherfucker named vedran smailovic. He was from Sarajevo, was upset about all the shit and nastiness that came about through this war (this was full-on brother-killing-brother shit!) that he went around to bombed-out, blown up buildings and funderals––where he was at risk of FUCKING SNIPER FIRE––and playing the cello. This guy was so set on providing one tiny spot of beauty in a seriously nasty war he was risking being fucking SHOT OR BLOWN UP.

AND THIS IS THE GUY WHO INSPIRED THIS SONG.

He’s why there’s the calm cello part at the beginning before everything gets all violent-sounding. It’s THEMATIC.

Friendly reminder that Vedran’s performances also included a pile of rubble that used to be a fountain IN THE CENTER OF A TOWN SQUARE WITH NO COVER.

When asked years later why he’d down something so apparently suicidal, he shrugged and replied that it was his way of proving that “the spirit of humanity was still alive in that place, despite all evidence to the contrary.”

May we all be as brave and stalwart in protesting violence and injustice as Vedran “The Most Bad-Ass Cellist Ever” Smailović.

“…less than 10% of all plastic has ever been recycled”

Calling all book lovers - 

(Lily) "I believe in you, Notebook Boy".

Dash & Lily (2020)

Take it from climate reporters, indigenous women, and environmental watch groups: the Amazon fire is not just another climate change disaster, it’s the Brazilian president actively fucking the entire world.

Survival International

Amazon Watch

Rainforest Concern 

Embroidery inspired by Heather Everitt.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.