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Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

“Do Dead Malls Go To Heaven?”

nah, you’re exactly the right amount of woke with this take because you’re on the money. part of what makes racists and xenophobes feel “justified” in their disdain and dehumanization of indians is by sweeping a broad brush over us and saying all scam callers are nefarious indians when scam calling is a global issue and people are often tricked/trafficked into it with no way to leave, some people are even beaten for not earning money in the scams or not wanting to take part. india has one of the largest populations so, statistically, we tend to be very visible in some industries and people will stupidly think we are the only ones doing it or we all do it when realistically other populations do it in the same, or even higher, rates in proportion with their population.

Saturday Night, Ollie Jones