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reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

wait, you're telling me some "boys" didn't grow up feeling like a lesbian trapped in the wrong body? i thought that was normal!

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

"nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!" what the hell have you been eating that tastes worse than being cold, tired, and irritable ??

the lesbian bar in dallas is on throckmorton street…

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

“source?” the mold in my water bottle told me