E

*camera switches to interview where dog barks and mounches on the reporter’s mic (who allows him do it)*

Generally you unbutton and re-button a suit coat when you sit down and stand up.

You’re supposed to hold wine or champagne glasses by the stem to avoid warming up the liquid inside. A character out of their depth might hold the glass around the sides instead.

When rich/important people forget your name and they’re drunk, they usually just tell you that they don’t remember or completely skip over any opportunity to use your name so they don’t look silly.

A good way to indicate you don’t want to shake someone’s hand at an event is to hold a drink in your right hand (and if you’re a woman, a purse in the other so you definitely can’t shift the glass to another hand and then shake)

Americans who still kiss cheeks as a welcome generally don’t press lips to cheeks, it’s more of a touch of cheek to cheek or even a hover (these days, mostly to avoid smudging a woman’s makeup)

The distinctions between dress codes (black tie, cocktail, etc) are very intricate but obvious to those who know how to look. If you wear a short skirt to a black tie event for example, people would clock that instantly even if the dress itself was very formal. Same thing goes for certain articles of men’s clothing.

Open bars / cash bars at events usually carry limited options. They’re meant to serve lots of people very quickly, so nobody is getting a cosmo or a Manhattan etc.

These events are almost always open bar. They're not trying to make their money back on alcohol. They want you to drink and eat and donate generously.

If there are cocktails, there will be at most two on offer, pre-made in large tubs. You cannot order a different version, it is what it is.

There are two types of events: cocktail style or seated. The first includes roaming hors d'oeuvres or a fancy buffet with tiny plates called a grazing station. For a long night, the roaming food will get a little bigger throughout the evening and have a 'main' at some point based around a protein.

A seated event will usually be more structured and may include multiple courses. Silver service is not in vogue anymore. You are likely to get either alternating meals brought to you like at a wedding, or served banquet style. A good caterer can get a plate to everyone in a 300 person event in about three minutes.

Drunk people are the same no matter how expensive their suits. They still laugh too loud, spill their drinks and slip on the dance floor. They are usually less embarrassed about doing coke in the bathrooms.

A full scale event that starts at 6pm will have staff arriving at noon to begin setup. Earlier if there's a light show or pyrotechnics. Typically venues don't just have 30 tables and three hundred chairs lying around, let alone table cloths, chair covers, etc. It's all rented and brought in on the day. Bands and DJs will be running audio tests in the background throughout.

Most heritage buildings that host these things, like museums and manor houses, aren't really designed for them. They might put down mats so you're not walking in stilettos over two hundred year old wooden floors, the kitchens are weirdly far away, and there are not enough taps. There is never anywhere for staff to sit, so if you open the wrong door you might find half a dozen waiters sitting on upturned milk crates in a room full of million dollar paintings, eating the left over bread.

Really old buildings don't have enough bathrooms, which means the staff will be sharing with the guests.

Clean up starts the second the event ends, if not sooner. Unattended glasses will start to disappear first, then table decorations. When the timer ticks over, the lights come back on and exhausted staff strip the tables, pack up dirty glasses and unopened wine bottles and have to Tetris it all into the back of a van. The venue is booked for that day only, so everything has to be gone before anyone can go home. A large event that finishes at midnight might take until 3am to be cleared away.

Mutual 1: Aughshshj The Character...

Mutual 2: i thinkj the mold is growing

Mutual 3: Heres a picture of my kitty!!

Mutual 1: *ten reblogs in a row about a character named oliver beebo*

Mutual 4: i need to kill myself

Mutual 5: *long character analysis about a show you never watched*

Mutual 6: DID YOU SEE WHAT THE FUCKING CHOCOLATE GUY PULLED OFF THIS TIME I SWEAR TO GOD

Mutual 1: the animatic #detective beebo #i am in hell

Mutual 3: *cute cat video*

Mutual 4: the pain is everlasting

Mutual 7: she bited my peantis YOUCH

Mutual 1: hey guys do you know about oliver beebo

Mutual 5: *gifset of a show you never watched*

Mutual 6: *short poem that brings you to tears*

Mutual 8: *reblog of some really good art from a fandom you're both in*

Mutual 3: *reblog of a cute cat video*

Mutual 4: okay im normal now anyways

Mutual 1: *art of oliver beebo* #the him... #need him deadd

🌵 Juicy-prickly-pear asked: Heyy hungryy 🤤🤤🤤, I NEED 😫😫😫pollination 🌸🌸🌸amd seed dispersal🌰🌰🌰,,,my flowers 🌷🌷🌷ane BLOOMINg 🌼🌼and my fruit🍑🍑🍑 is JuICY💦💦💦 and RIPE 😳😳😳come find me now at www.xywzhyrandomspotinthedesert.x 🐍Tranz-pecos-ratsnake responded: Stfu pollenbot i’m literally a carnivore

 🛣 roadrunnur follow done running, I drive now, bitch.

💧waterdetector follow ♻ w-ter 4/5 of a water detected. This post is rated VERY DRY

do NOT try and extend roots to this post.

🐕 Coyote-fugly follow Everyone please remember that when it’s hot out you should be seeking out a creek at least once every day to drink water, and that you should be peeing regularly if properly hydrated! 🦘Kagaroooorat follow ♻ Ok so first of all no one should listen to @coyote-fugly, he’s literally a predator, I saw him eating a quail yesterday. Second, not everyone needs to drink, or even pee, I hate it when critters are ignorant enough to think EVERYONE has absolute piece of shit kidneys like they do and NEED to drink instead of getting their water metabolically.  🌵cactUS follow ♻ And not everyone has the privilege of being able to go out and find a creek, many of us work our stomata off every day having a wide enough root system to get water you ignorant dog. 🐕 Coyote-fugly follow ♻ As much as I enjoy the drama, you guys need to realize not every post is about you. 🐕 Coyote-fugly follow ♻ Also i’m probably going to eat you/your fruits. 🌵cactUS follow ♻ you're going to eat MY WHAT??? 🐕 Coyote-fugly follow ♻ chomp chomp you dingus

(I will also poop out the seeds somewhere they can't germinate).

🐦‍⬛The-flycatcherrr follow The 5 Signs of a HIGHLY TOXIC insect: -bright colors -just kind of sitting there? Not even trying to get away. -No one else is eating them -taste like shit -tummy hurt

🐍 rattletail follow

Has anyone else ever seen rocks like these? 10/10 🐦Official-Northern-mockingbird follow ♻ HaS aNyONe eLsE SEen rOckS LikE tHEsE? 10/10 🐍rattletail follow ♻ Wtf are you doing? 🐦Official-Northern-mockingbird follow ♻ WtF aRe yOu doInG? 🐍rattletail follow ♻ I think sitting on top of a cactus and scream-singing at 3 am is stupid 🐦Official-Northern-mockingbird follow ♻ I tHInK siTtiNg oN tOp oF A caCtUs aNd sCReaM-sInGiNG aT 3: aM iS sTuPiD 🐍rattletail follow ♻ Heh 🐦Official-Northern-mockingbird ♻ hEh.

🦎Side-blotchedlizard follow

I can’t be the only one who has wondered this:

🦎Layingonarock follow ♻ I know you all are going to pick the dominant harem-forming orange-throated, but can we hear it for single-pairing blue-throated guys???

🦎Utautauta follow ♻ Yeah, but have you ever seen a yellow-throat on the edge of an orange-throat’s territory trying to get you to go out with him? It’s really cute ngl.

♀ New-Mexico-Whiptail follow ♻ Have literally any of you considered parthenogenesis? It's way easier than all this.

🐢 bigbendsliderfollow I’m beautiful, everyone loves me, I cannot die 🐢bigbendslider follow ♻ Motur Vehimcle colison :(

🐟Whitesandspupfish follow Remember, even if everyone knows where a critter lives it’s not nice to doxx them :( 🐠Pecospupfish follow ♻ he lives here btw

🐦Official-Northern-mockingbird follow ♻ He liVeS HeRE bTw :(

🐇desertcottontail follow stop calling yourself "just a little guy" it's demeaning and honestly just plain weird. 🕊️blackchinnedhummingbirb follow ♻ I'm literally......4 grams 🐇desertcottontail follow ♻ Ok maybe you are just a little guy 🕊️blackchinnedhummingbirb follow ♻ I also want to kill hawks, and sometimes I think I can do it  🦅swainsonshawk follow ♻ uhhhhhh 🐿️rocksquirrel-875520428 follow ♻ !HAWK HAWK HAWK! 🐿️rocksquirrel-921053987 follow ♻ !HAWK HAWK HAWK! 🐿️rocksquirrel-3781344590 follow ♻ !HAWK HAWK HAWK!

💧waterdetector follow ♻ water water water water water 5 waters detected. This post is rated moist it is worthwhile to extend roots to this post.

💉 Ihatehappyhealthypeople Follow

The subjects are literally being so loud today tf

🕶️ degree_in_idgaf Follow

Maybe it's because you haven't fed them in three weeks???

(300 notes)

🦠 ttbaby Follow

I was literally born yesterday and I think it's offensive that people use this as an insult

🧑‍🔬 microscopicdick Follow

Bro missed everything 😭😭😭

(2 notes)

🥼 thedeviouschemist Follow

What y'all think will happen if I mix nitrogen and sulfur mustard lol

🥼 thedeviouschemist Follow

hopital

(27 notes)

🩻 frankenslay Follow

(1.2k notes)